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How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
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B-Minus Offline
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Post: #1
How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
Obviously your father should play a part, but how did many of you guys decide what your morals, boundaries, and values were going to be? Was there any person you wanted to be like that drove that? Did you think of what that person would do in certain situations and implement that so you could be like them? Growing up you always here that this is "good" and that is "bad". But then you realize it's not that black and white. For instance some threads here like penis enlargement some people would scoff at and say "A real man doesn't care about that stuff", while obviously some on this forum value that. I thought of this while reading an Art Of Manliness article discussing this. On that site they present a very traditional view of manliness that seems appealing. But their advice on dating is also very outdated and would make most of the guys here with experience laugh I'm sure. I like a lot of what they talk about but I'm sure they disagree with a lot on this forum about game. They go with the just be yourself and improve yourself and the women will come message.
(This post was last modified: 01-30-2019 05:37 PM by B-Minus.)
01-30-2019 05:31 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
Reading Conan the Barbarian as a young lad
01-30-2019 07:24 PM
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Zeroblack Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
Funny enough I was just re-reading “12 rules of life” by Jordan Peterson and specifically the first chapter on lobsters relates to your question. Like you said, life is not black and white and you will have to experiment to see what you feel most resonates with you. But the important thing is to do and not get hung up on analyzing.
02-01-2019 05:30 PM
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Syberpunk Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
From fiction? Take control characters, that do it with a smile and live lightly. It couldn't be one influence.

I always liked the wit and lightness of Shaun of the Dead the whole feel of it. I like that vibe.

Also Face on the A Team. The resoucefulness, lets build a tank out of bamboo!

Baywatch (seriously not the boobs running towards danger no hesitation, as corny as it was). Dukes of Hazzard, Luke and Bo. Bruce Willis, Die Hard. Alan Rickman and Han Solo, Indiana Jones for suaveness and perserverance. Kyle Reese in The Terminator.

The characters of some of the Final Fantasy games (IX and X to pick two)

Casino Royale Daniel Craig.

Sometimes you need to do this in life, to get attention and to avoid wasting any more time:





All of this stuff has incredible power on a younger mind, from acceptance, making use of yourself, to faith to resourcefulness:













Many would argue that Terminator 3 is a poor film (with valid reasons) compared the to the first two , but my god this ending, this one scene is a classic and utterly haunting, blew me away even more so than everything else I've posted on this list on first watch, the dread, realising that awful things are going to happen no matter how much you try to postpone and stop something, and for some aspects of life all you can do brace the storm as best you can and prepare now and for the fight ahead. Sometimes all you could have done is all you did. Nick Stahl and Claire Danes are just dazed in this section, but Connor steps forward and finally bucks up for the horror about to befall them and finds some small element of peace in it. The series REALLY went down hill from this point when it all the ingredients/setup to get even better.




There is nothing else you will ever need to read on self improvement, but this, the greatest thread post in history follows in the link below, REQUIRED READING. READ TO END.

Here you go, There is nothing else you will ever need to read on self improvement, but this

"I write only when inspiration strikes," he replied. "Fortunately it strikes every morning at nine o'clock sharp.

OUR LIVES ARE WRITTEN IN PEN NOT PENCIL, not because we should want to forget but remember, so be absolutely sure about what you write.
(This post was last modified: 02-02-2019 10:49 AM by Syberpunk.)
02-02-2019 10:29 AM
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scotian Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I grew up in the days before people got all of their ideas from the internet so my coming of age and decision of who I wanted to be came the old fashion way, from working around men.

When I was 15 I got my first job at a lumber mill that was basically in the back yard of my parents place, I walked over there one day after school was over for the summer and asked the owner if he needed any help and he did so hired me on. I was paid $5/hour to roll logs onto a carriage with a ball bat with a huge metal spike on it, then the owner would trim the logs into lumber and I'd get them on the other side and eventually stack them into piles of 2X4s and other cuts. It was the hardest job I've ever had, I worked like a dog and the owner would yell at me all day but he never asked me to do anything he wouldn't do himself. He would also randomly shut the machines down and go off on rants about life and tell me how crazy women were and how fucked up Liberals are, as a small business owner, he was staunchly conservative. He spent the winters in the bush cutting the trees down with a chain saw then dragging them out with a skid steer and we'd mill it all in the summer. Every Friday, we'd go to his house after work and he'd boil up a feed of mussels, pour us some Old Sam dark rum and break out his fiddle and play blue grass songs.

This is a mill very similar to the one I worked in, all of the machiney and equipment was ancient and not safe at all (notice the ball bat type stick with the metal hook in it at the bottom in the video)




Then I went off to university and eventually took a government job with the federal government so was surrounded by a bunch of pussies, women and socialists all day. I continued working at the mill for six summers in a row and only ever got minimum wage but I liked the hard work and all of the yelling and screaming that went along with it. Then in 2005 as my studies were coming to an end, I had a few options. I was offered a job with the federal government that would require a move to Ottawa, I also had the option of moving to Alberta where my brother and a bunch of my friends were working in the trades and making good money.

So I thought to myself; do I want to live/work around a bunch of rough red necks who work hard, drink hard and don't give a fuck? Or do I want to work in a government office surrounded by a bunch of faggots and women?

So here I am 13 years later, still fucking givin' er in the oil patch!

*Accurate portrayal of my life since moving to Alberta



God damned them all, I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold, we'd fire no guns-shed no tears, now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier, the last of Barrett's privateers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIwzRkjn86w
(This post was last modified: 02-02-2019 12:36 PM by scotian.)
02-02-2019 12:31 PM
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LeBeau Offline
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Post: #6
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
(02-02-2019 12:31 PM)scotian Wrote:  *Accurate portrayal of my life since moving to Alberta

Scotian, you made the right choice. At least you guys got a true Canadian ambassador instead of having to listen to Seth Rogan on the Skytrain or TTC:



(This post was last modified: 02-02-2019 01:06 PM by LeBeau.)
02-02-2019 01:05 PM
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B-Minus Offline
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Post: #7
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I was recently reading on how Benjamin Franklin created 13 virtues for himself and would spend each week focusing on one of them. Have any forum members done this for yourself, whether you wrote it down or just have it in your head? I feel that this makes it a lot easier to make decisions because you just go through your list and make sure it doesn't violate your highest priority virtues.

1. Temperance. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. Silence. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3.Order. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. Resolution. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. Frugality. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. Industry. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. Sincerity. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. Justice. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. Moderation. Avoid extremes; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. Cleanliness. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11. Tranquillity. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. Chastity. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dullness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. Humility. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
02-07-2019 04:29 PM
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tomzestatlu Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
Because I have always been surrounded by people I don´t want to be. I was growing up to become the same as they are. Luckily I realized I don´t have to be like them. Unfortunately I am talking about the closest ones.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
02-07-2019 04:41 PM
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MajorStyles Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I believe that it's important to read the autobiographies of great men. Here are three good examples that can fill the average man with a spirit of achievement.

Henry Ford's My Life My Work
The Autobiography of Andrew Carnegie
Richard Wagner's My Life

"Action still preserves for us a hope that we may stand erect." - Thucydides (from History of the Peloponnesian War)
02-07-2019 06:01 PM
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ju1ce Offline
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Post: #10
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I'm 26 and my pops passed when I was 16. I only have my mom (who doesn't speak english) and younger brother considered as my only family.

I had to take on the roll of "man of the house" but I was so young I made all possible mistakes playing along that role. Now, I feel that deciding the kind of man you want to be is a result of factors that surround you.

• My biggest lessons came from post-psychotic-episode professional intervention and continuous therapy:

#1 Stop being judgmental to yourself and the world
This helps you accept and welcome the world as it is which then allows you to build a lot of patience with yourself and the people that interact with you. Fuck all this maxims you’ve been nurtured by family or friends since you were a kid.

#2 You have the opportunity of a second chance every hour on top of the hour, every day in this life, if you’re just up for the challenge.
The more mistakes we make, the more human we become.

#3 You are the most important person in this world. Non-negotiable.
Once you take care of yourself, you can take care of the ones around you.

This had allowed me to have a nimble and care free life where I see all events as experiences to enjoy and learn from, nothing more nothing less.

• Finances

-Frugality: Mentioned already by the Benjamin principles. Totally fundamental for a man which bring me to my next point

-Grant Cardone: search youtube to get to know him. He has taught me that financial freedom is not merely something I should want, but my duty to accomplish. And that’s it.

CONCLUSION: How did I decide?

After failing for so long and transforming my life after mental health issues, and with the help of professionals, I decided to be a man that follows these principles because what I had obeyed before drove me into madness.

Cut the shit out, and stick to shit that works and is harmless to the ones around you. When it boils down to it, ANYTHING GOES because this world makes no sense. You just have to have the confidence to stick to your truth and your convictions.
02-08-2019 02:33 PM
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Alpone Offline
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Post: #11
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
Anti-role models had a profound influence on me during my formative years. Not including my parents (who are great), I saw a bunch of men with traits I knew from an early age I wanted to avoid. Drunks, schemers, broke scrubs, spineless cucks who let women walk all over them, uncontrolled anger issues, unemployed drug addicts, etc. I clearly remember being a teenager and telling myself "I will never become like that."

My biggest role model besides my parents was a 50yo coworker while I was doing blue collar work in a warehouse during college. He embodied every masculine trait we talk about on this forum. He had the respect of everybody. He took no shit but found a way to connect with everybody in our warehouse. Carried himself with dignity even though he never made more than $25k/year in his life. Said exactly what he thought, could lift you up (when we deserved it) and knock you down hard (when we deserved). The guy also had mad game with ladies before I even knew what that was.
02-09-2019 10:14 PM
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Cr33pin Offline
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Post: #12
Rainbow RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
[Image: s-l300.jpg]

Real talk

On the last page of my 7th grade year book where it as you a bunch of questions I answered the following

Who are your heros? Hugh Heffner and Schindler

Where do you see yourself in 10years? With a lamborghini 10 wives a dog and a cat

7th grade Cr33pin already knew

Bruising cervix since 96
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"I just want to live out my days drinking virgin margaritas and banging virgin señoritas" - Uncle Cr33pin
02-10-2019 10:48 AM
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nek Offline
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Post: #13
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
When I did some serious self-reflecting, understood what my fears/insecurities were, why there were there, and knowing that I was going to fight tooth and nail to get rid of them.

Civilize the mind but make savage the body.
02-10-2019 11:51 AM
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pijamaboy Offline
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Post: #14
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
From the day I discovered masturbation I've been horny. At 13-14 years old I'd sit at the back of the class, with a hole in the right pocket of my pants, that would allow me to masturbate without having to pull my pants down. I'd watch the asses of girls of my class, and jerk off. I wanted to fuck more than half girls of my class. Even the not very beautiful little cunts that annoyed me I wanted to rape them.

Up to this day even sometimes when I get a boner in an office / in the plane / in the coffee shop if I see a little slut that frustrates me sexually (because she's wearing a skirt for example) I'll excuse myself, go to the toilets and jerk off thinking about fucking her mouth hard and cumming into her little cunt pussy doggy style.
02-10-2019 11:56 AM
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Echovoid_52 Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
[Image: ct8Fwzk.jpg]

The noir hero is my kinda of Man. Socially alienated, a loner, hostile towards women, ambivalent towards other men. Tough and hardened, but not without his weakness. He drinks, smokes, fucks prostitutes. Do to his strong connections he can give you a tour through the upper echelons of society (the elite) or he can show you the dark and gritty underworld (red light district)

He's cynical. Not a family man (no kids) and often leads a life of intrigue and mystery.
02-10-2019 01:15 PM
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Cup_Cake Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I basically watch a lot of people I feel like I was attracted to their personality. For me Steve Jobs (My generally approach life, especially his spiritual side) and Roosh V (On how I relate to society and my approach to relationships) have so far stood out as my role models.
(This post was last modified: 02-10-2019 01:31 PM by Cup_Cake.)
02-10-2019 01:30 PM
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Barron Offline
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Post: #17
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
Took a while, but I realized that I wanted to have kids before turning 40. This realization led me to think about how I was going to do it on my terms.

I'm not talking about finding a wife, the house or number of kids i'll have but specifically referring to what the best situation could possibly be for me to make it happen.

I can't be a father if I'm dependent on another man to give me money (a salary, for example).
If I'm dependent on anyone other than myself to produce and provide the necessities for my family, I shouldn't have a family. This is not for everyone, and it goes beyond women. Making this my life's objective, and pursuing it has transformed just about everything about me except for my sense of humor.

It has changed:
How I dress
How I speak
Who I hang out with
What I do in my spare time
What and when I eat
When I go to bed / wake up
Who I idolize
How I interact with colleagues
What I observe in people
How I analyze opportunities
The way I react to words / people / situations
and much more

I guess I didn't so much decide this, I just got the idea into my head that I had no business having a family unless I'm 100% dependent on myself for everything. When I started living by it, I was unable to live any other way.

two scoops
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02-11-2019 05:13 AM
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
(02-10-2019 11:56 AM)pijamaboy Wrote:  From the day I discovered masturbation I've been horny. At 13-14 years old I'd sit at the back of the class, with a hole in the right pocket of my pants, that would allow me to masturbate without having to pull my pants down. I'd watch the asses of girls of my class, and jerk off. I wanted to fuck more than half girls of my class. Even the not very beautiful little cunts that annoyed me I wanted to rape them.

Up to this day even sometimes when I get a boner in an office / in the plane / in the coffee shop if I see a little slut that frustrates me sexually (because she's wearing a skirt for example) I'll excuse myself, go to the toilets and jerk off thinking about fucking her mouth hard and cumming into her little cunt pussy doggy style.

Troll Troll Troll
02-11-2019 08:51 AM
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scotian Offline
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Post: #19
RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I used to get raging bus boners in the morning so I’d tuck my dick in my underwear waist band and and cover it with a binder to walk off of tge bus. Now, twenty years or so later, I fully embrace my boners, walking around with a hard on is a beautiful thing.

God damned them all, I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold, we'd fire no guns-shed no tears, now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier, the last of Barrett's privateers!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIwzRkjn86w
02-11-2019 10:47 AM
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B-Minus Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
(02-11-2019 10:47 AM)scotian Wrote:  I used to get raging bus boners in the morning so I’d tuck my dick in my underwear waist band and and cover it with a binder to walk off of tge bus. Now, twenty years or so later, I fully embrace my boners, walking around with a hard on is a beautiful thing.

If anyone guys look just say "You mirin brah?"
02-11-2019 03:26 PM
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Montrose Offline
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RE: How did you decide the kind of man you wanted to be?
I got most of my values from my father (a true alpha male 1.0, who was born almost a century ago, and died years ago). I usually ask myself what he would do in certain situations - but I don’t necessarily do it, as I tend to be more calculating and machiavelian - and thus less masculine - than he was. His sayings still resonate in my head when I make a decision, even though we could have heated disagreements at the time.

Apart from him, my influences are historical figures and 19th century literary characters (French and Russian mostly). My Jesuit teachers (Catholic education). And a few guys I met in high school and at university, impressive guys with extraordinary drive (most are CEOs now). You can always learn from a man with courage and energy.

By my late teens I had a pretty good idea of the life I wanted, including a large family and several mistresses, and a rich intellectual life.
02-11-2019 04:38 PM
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