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Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
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Heuristics Offline
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Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Hi guys, I'll cut right to the chase: I frequent strip clubs 2-3 times per week despite the fact that I nightgame a lot (also relevant, I've been on a dry spell for about a year now). I just want to share some of my thoughts and you tell me what you think, or advise for improvement. I know all about the inherent problems of strip clubs, but I've never fucked a stripper (for money), much less spent very much money there on any occasion.

-I had a domineering mother, so I feel naturally attracted to strippers. They control all the interactions, and for some reason I like strippers more than real girls.
-I honestly feel more honesty than with real girls: I know that strippers lie all the time, but I feel like they are more vulnerable than regular girls, they usually talk about their kids, schools, drug addiction, or ambitions to be something greater than a stripper. It's not a great job, and I believe them actually because they're all there for a reason... Its not a path a normal girl would take unless they have some hardship.
-I enjoy talking to them-- Maybe they just say yes all them time, but I enjoy just connecting with them, talking about whatever crosses my mind.
-Strippers are seemingly comfortable with their sexuality: As someone who grew up in a sexually repressed community I actually admire the fact that they can own up to their sexuality. maybe just years of religious programming speaking, but it is fucking hot how strippers know how to work their sexuality
-Strippers own their bodies: As someone who used to be pretty fat, I admire the fact that strippers just own up to they are and work their assets.... It's hot as hell.

Note: I don't know if it's problematic that I like strippers or not, but I feel like they're refreshing, how forward they are.
02-03-2019 07:59 AM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Yes, you have a problem.

The biggest problem is not that you frequent strip clubs. It's that you have been on a dry spell for a whole year. That's a long time bro.

I think you need to explore the reasons for this. The strip club thing is obvious. You feel like you're connecting with strippers. So I'm guessing you're nightgame is not good because you're not even trying to connect with a normal girl.

So question for you: Are you looking to just connect or do you want to put the work in for a relationship? Or do you want to just bang? Let's start with these goals and maybe we can "back into" the strip club issue.

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02-03-2019 08:19 AM
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Nordwand Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
I suggest that you go cold turkey immediately, before one of these women gets you in her crosshairs.
02-03-2019 09:07 AM
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Captain Gh Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Been there as well OP! Since you grew up in a domineering home... you probably never learned how properly display your emotions, and that's the element responsible for your dryspell I believe. You're simply faking progress by talking to strippers since THEY HAVE to be Nice to you. You have to learn how to connect with people about everyday chit-chat like yhe weather & the news & sports & Netflix.

Sorry for calling you out like that... but when you mention that "you don't spend too much" on them... I gotta call B.S. If you're a Regular who ain't fucking one of them... they don't chit-chat with you like that. If I'm wrong put the $$$ amount/ week you spend in that joint!

Nothing wrong with strip clubs & strippers per say... but in your situation, you frequenting it does nothing for your success.
02-03-2019 09:35 AM
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Atlanta Man Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Note: I don't know if it's problematic that I like strippers or not, but I feel like they're refreshing, how forward they are.
[/quote]
That is their job. Save your money and travel to Colombia-If you are going to use strippers go to the best!

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02-03-2019 11:37 AM
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eradicator Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Try a no porn/no strippers/no fap for 6 months. Keep approaching and see if you are hornier/spitting better game.

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02-03-2019 11:43 AM
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Post: #7
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 07:59 AM)Heuristics Wrote:  ... Its not a path a normal girl would take unless they have some hardship.

This is mainstream society's typical understanding of strippers. That they are victims and would be doing any other job if they had the chance. After knowing and interacting with many strippers outside of the club including several family members, this is not the case. They are doing this job because they are not responsible enough to wake up and go to a regular 9-5 every day. They are usually just lazy people who like the easy money of stripping.
02-03-2019 01:01 PM
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Rocha Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 01:01 PM)Hammerhead Wrote:  
(02-03-2019 07:59 AM)Heuristics Wrote:  ... Its not a path a normal girl would take unless they have some hardship.

This is mainstream society's typical understanding of strippers. That they are victims and would be doing any other job if they had the chance. After knowing and interacting with many strippers outside of the club including several family members, this is not the case. They are doing this job because they are not responsible enough to wake up and go to a regular 9-5 every day. They are usually just lazy people who like the easy money of stripping.

I overall agree with this. I just don't consider stripping an easy job.

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02-03-2019 01:43 PM
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Repo Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Keep in mind if you arent banging the strippers without paying or providing drugs you actually havent connected with them. The fake connection is part of the gig. I'll try to find it, but someone previously linked a stripper forum which was like Roosh V but for strippers where they talk about verbally gaming customers to make it seem like they care. Shit was eye opening and will definitely redpill you
02-03-2019 02:52 PM
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tr1cky Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
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02-03-2019 02:57 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 08:19 AM)Cobra Wrote:  Yes, you have a problem.

The biggest problem is not that you frequent strip clubs. It's that you have been on a dry spell for a whole year. That's a long time bro.

I think you need to explore the reasons for this. The strip club thing is obvious. You feel like you're connecting with strippers. So I'm guessing you're nightgame is not good because you're not even trying to connect with a normal girl.

So question for you: Are you looking to just connect or do you want to put the work in for a relationship? Or do you want to just bang? Let's start with these goals and maybe we can "back into" the strip club issue.

I want a bang primarily but a relationship would also be nice.
02-03-2019 03:42 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 09:35 AM)Captain Gh Wrote:  Been there as well OP! Since you grew up in a domineering home... you probably never learned how properly display your emotions, and that's the element responsible for your dryspell I believe. You're simply faking progress by talking to strippers since THEY HAVE to be Nice to you. You have to learn how to connect with people about everyday chit-chat like yhe weather & the news & sports & Netflix.

Sorry for calling you out like that... but when you mention that "you don't spend too much" on them... I gotta call B.S. If you're a Regular who ain't fucking one of them... they don't chit-chat with you like that. If I'm wrong put the $$$ amount/ week you spend in that joint!

Nothing wrong with strip clubs & strippers per say... but in your situation, you frequenting it does nothing for your success.

Probably spending about $50 a week. No more than that.
02-03-2019 03:43 PM
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Kona Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 03:43 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  
(02-03-2019 09:35 AM)Captain Gh Wrote:  Been there as well OP! Since you grew up in a domineering home... you probably never learned how properly display your emotions, and that's the element responsible for your dryspell I believe. You're simply faking progress by talking to strippers since THEY HAVE to be Nice to you. You have to learn how to connect with people about everyday chit-chat like yhe weather & the news & sports & Netflix.

Sorry for calling you out like that... but when you mention that "you don't spend too much" on them... I gotta call B.S. If you're a Regular who ain't fucking one of them... they don't chit-chat with you like that. If I'm wrong put the $$$ amount/ week you spend in that joint!

Nothing wrong with strip clubs & strippers per say... but in your situation, you frequenting it does nothing for your success.

Probably spending about $50 a week. No more than that.

That's why you aren't getting anywhere. They think you are a broke weirdo.

You gotta spend every now and then, then the pussy floodgates will open.

Aloha!
02-03-2019 04:17 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
$50 a week isn't that bad, and you will grow out of it and get bored, I went through a stage like that.

Just be aware that its warping your perspective and taking energy away from real women and getting laid.

But not the worst thing you can be doing for now :-)
02-03-2019 04:34 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 04:17 PM)Kona Wrote:  
(02-03-2019 03:43 PM)Heuristics Wrote:  
(02-03-2019 09:35 AM)Captain Gh Wrote:  Been there as well OP! Since you grew up in a domineering home... you probably never learned how properly display your emotions, and that's the element responsible for your dryspell I believe. You're simply faking progress by talking to strippers since THEY HAVE to be Nice to you. You have to learn how to connect with people about everyday chit-chat like yhe weather & the news & sports & Netflix.

Sorry for calling you out like that... but when you mention that "you don't spend too much" on them... I gotta call B.S. If you're a Regular who ain't fucking one of them... they don't chit-chat with you like that. If I'm wrong put the $$$ amount/ week you spend in that joint!

Nothing wrong with strip clubs & strippers per say... but in your situation, you frequenting it does nothing for your success.

Probably spending about $50 a week. No more than that.

That's why you aren't getting anywhere. They think you are a broke weirdo.

You gotta spend every now and then, then the pussy floodgates will open.

Aloha!

Ok thanks for the honesty. I can see your point.
02-03-2019 04:46 PM
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yankeetravels Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
OP I can somewhat relate. Back in my college days I used to frequent strip clubs a lot more. Looking back on it, I figured out my reasons at the time were allure of a club coming straight out of high school and escaping a depressing job. I used to smoke weed a lot before going into a club, I considered it a great place to chill like that. To this day I'm not sure how people chill at strip clubs sober.

Anyway, I identified my two big reasons for going there were that I considered it an escape from a depressing job situation and the social interaction that went along with that, plus it was just an exciting feeling I was looking for in my life while feeling disconnected from society. It sounds like you are going for similar reasons. You may be chasing some excitement and may also be feeling more disconnected from society than you realized. I handled it a bit differently though, not wanting to talk to strippers at all because I still knew it was all fake. Instead I'd just get high and take a dance or two.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going to strip clubs occasionally, where I would be concerned for you is that even if you're not spending a lot of money, you seem to be socially using the club as an escape or fantasy world. Psychologically, you seem to be investing a decent amount in the club, such as having full conversations with the strippers and relating to them more than normal girls. I'm not trying to put down strippers, but I haven't met any with a heart of gold. A lot are hustlers honestly.

But, your mention of forwardness is relatable. Maybe you don't like the grind of the game. Maybe you like being the one to get gamed because in the club, the strippers run game on you to get your money, instead of us doing it on the girls to get laid.

If I were you, I'd do one of two things. Either find more time and money to do some traveling to chase the exciting feeling you seem to be seeking, or just cut back on the club a bit and instead give some regular bars and clubs a shot in your area. Maybe be more proactive with your friends and acquaintances too.

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02-03-2019 04:50 PM
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Heuristics Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 04:50 PM)yankeetravels Wrote:  OP I can somewhat relate. Back in my college days I used to frequent strip clubs a lot more. Looking back on it, I figured out my reasons at the time were allure of a club coming straight out of high school and escaping a depressing job. I used to smoke weed a lot before going into a club, I considered it a great place to chill like that. To this day I'm not sure how people chill at strip clubs sober.

Anyway, I identified my two big reasons for going there were that I considered it an escape from a depressing job situation and the social interaction that went along with that, plus it was just an exciting feeling I was looking for in my life while feeling disconnected from society. It sounds like you are going for similar reasons. You may be chasing some excitement and may also be feeling more disconnected from society than you realized. I handled it a bit differently though, not wanting to talk to strippers at all because I still knew it was all fake. Instead I'd just get high and take a dance or two.

I don't think there's anything wrong with going to strip clubs occasionally, where I would be concerned for you is that even if you're not spending a lot of money, you seem to be socially using the club as an escape or fantasy world. Psychologically, you seem to be investing a decent amount in the club, such as having full conversations with the strippers and relating to them more than normal girls. I'm not trying to put down strippers, but I haven't met any with a heart of gold. A lot are hustlers honestly.

But, your mention of forwardness is relatable. Maybe you don't like the grind of the game. Maybe you like being the one to get gamed because in the club, the strippers run game on you to get your money, instead of us doing it on the girls to get laid.

If I were you, I'd do one of two things. Either find more time and money to do some traveling to chase the exciting feeling you seem to be seeking, or just cut back on the club a bit and instead give some regular bars and clubs a shot in your area. Maybe be more proactive with your friends and acquaintances too.

I am looking for an escape that much is clear. I usually go there decently buzzed and when I feel social. You know a lot of times I get done gaming, and just need a release really.

My location/ job situation is a bit depressing and it definitely seems exciting. I’ve been looking for a high since getting back to the US, and without traveling my options are getting fucked up, gaming, working out or going to the strip club.

I spent most of yesterday gaming, and was just exhausted by 3am so I ended up I the strip club. Hopefully I can take a trip next month.

Thanks for the advise.
02-03-2019 04:59 PM
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Ski pro Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
I used to love going to the strip clubs.

I grew out of it in the end. It’s just a phase but don’t get too attached to the girls. They don’t give a shit about you.
02-04-2019 03:56 PM
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lunchmoney Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 11:37 AM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  Note: I don't know if it's problematic that I like strippers or not, but I feel like they're refreshing, how forward they are.
That is their job. Save your money and travel to Colombia-If you are going to use strippers go to the best!
[/quote]

I second this. Not sure if travel will be the proper outlet for you, as you could end up seeking the same thing (in this case strip clubs) just in a different city. Some guys I know go through a phase where they love it, and then just stop on their own. Others seek attention from women who will provide it for a price.
02-04-2019 05:35 PM
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
OP - those strippers probably laugh at you behind your back. Going so many times a week screams I'm horny and have no options.

As someone stated, go cold turkey or visit a different club.

Better yet, spend the $50 on yourself and get in shape or invest in something.

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02-04-2019 10:46 PM
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 04:34 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  $50 a week isn't that bad, and you will grow out of it and get bored, I went through a stage like that.

Dude, he's clearly lying.

Guy is going to a strip club multiple times per week, is regular enough to where he makes a thread about it, claims he spends 'less than $50 per week' and nobody calls him out? Come on!

Even if that's true it doesn't make him look any better. They either think OP is a desperate horndog AND a cheapass or just a desperate horndog.

Some guys take the 'lol bro don't ever spend money on a bitch' attitude way too far, thinking that mentality is gonna fly at a strip club is just fucking absurd. Also OP if you're finding yourself listening to these bitches talk any buying into anything they're selling, you're a fool.

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(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 03:41 PM by Rhyme or Reason.)
02-06-2019 03:35 PM
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jordypip23 Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
(02-03-2019 09:07 AM)Nordwand Wrote:  I suggest that you go cold turkey immediately, before one of these women gets you in her crosshairs.

This. I had some phases in the scene in the past where I got in a little bit too heavy.

Fortunately I've stayed away from these clubs for close to a year. Helped my overall game out for sure & I'm guarding my wallet a lot better heh.

I think it's alright once in a while to shoot the breeze in one of these joints with an old broski or something, but be weary of getting in too deep with the whores.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 07:58 PM by jordypip23.)
02-06-2019 07:56 PM
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
You're using the strip clubs as a crutch for your dry spell. They're also preventing you from even trying to connect with real women. If you don't fix this shit, these kinds of habits tend to get worse over time. Eventually you'll be blowing thousands while your real world skills with women deteriorate to shit.

I used the word "real" intentionally, because strip clubs aren't real. They're a simulation designed to destroy your self-respect and take your money. Quit immediately.
02-06-2019 09:54 PM
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Kurgan Offline
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RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
Strip clubs were fun, but they cost money and disconnect you from real women.
02-06-2019 10:27 PM
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Post: #25
RE: Strip Club: Maybe I have a problem... Your thoughts?
You definitely need to cut back.
02-07-2019 01:08 AM
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