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Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
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aswifty Offline
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Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
If you do a google search for this very question, you will have numerous men claiming that they themselves, or a close friend of theirs, gets cold approached by 1-5 women on a night out ON AVERAGE. Or in less extreme claims, that they get approached on average once a week.

I have a hard time believing this. For several reasons.

1: I consider myself to be pretty good looking. I have evidence in my life that supports this , from random compliments from strangers, to persistent stares (From legit hot girls), to girls whispering about me in groups, from sexual body language directed towards me in public (this is rare though), ect....

However, I have only ever been directly cold approached about 5-7 times in my teenage/adult life. (not including online, not that i do good there either) (i'm 25 by the way) And never have any of those girls asked for my number, nor did i ask for theirs.

I'm not trying to brag about my looks, i go a little above and beyond in terms of living a healthy style compared to most, but i do fall short on the grooming/style side of things. So, a little sexual attraction from strangers feels somewhat warranted to me, given the effort i put into diet and such.

But after reading these threads, it's becoming somewhat apparent to me, that i must be considerably underwhelming sexually speaking if some men can experience such a higher degree of attention than me from strange women.

My once help belief that my looks is the best personal asset I can offer to women (currently), is one of delusion, because women's lack of approaching me apparently must be an actual representational figure of my weak looks.

2: When I'm out in public, I've never witnessed a woman cold approach a man first. Of course it happens, but it must be somewhat rare.

In all honesty, all the male to female interactions i see are not with top tier looking guys. I usually see the best looking guys alone, or with their bros.

It's that super friendly, upbeat, average looking guy who i often see getting in the conversations with the hot girls usually. And i think to myself, that this guy is often just talking to them as friends, because that's how it looks from where I'm sitting.
However, I am not gay, so maybe i'm not seeing what the girls are?

3: Men tend to like to lie about these things.

Their height, their net worth, their lay count, their penis size, ect. Any numerical value that represents a higher status or value that could incite envy from other men, men notoriously lie about.

Is that what is happening here? Because from my angle, if a guy is actually hot and not high status, I would imagine girls would be weary to approach him out of insecurity of his perceived options, and the higher likelihood of rejection.

I am not referring to persistent glances, or IOIs to warm approach, I am talking about a full on direct (or indirect question that veils the obvious intent) approach from a female.

Also side note, I always cringe when I hear from close mates of mine or personal accounts online, that how they've never experienced a rejection because the girls always approach them first.
They apparently just pick and choose the options that come to them.

My one gym buddy, said he has never approached a girl in the club, despite going out every friday/saturday for an entire year.
They would always approach him, and that he would get about one girl every 0.5months as a result.

My other buddy said he would get approached about 3 times a night, especially if he was playing pool, and he would reject them all out of being committed.

Is this a wake up call, a sort of red pill, that women are not as timid and insecure that we'd like to believe, that in fact many women are out there approaching attractive men actively, and that the more efficient strategy would position yourself in a way that would allow them to approach you, since so many women are apparently doing it anyway.

This strategy eliminates you from the needy frame, and allows you to avoid rejection thus keeping any self esteem dips intact.



So, I would like to hear from the men of the RooshVforum who have lived it.

1: How often do you get cold approached?

2: Where do you get cold approached, if you do?

3: Do you notice any friends (or yourself) who are conventionally considered to be hot, get cold approached by women a disproportional amount?

4: How often would you say you notice women cold approach men? And the ones that do, how hot are they? (i hear a lot of guys claim 7+s don't approach men, yet i've also heard some guys say they do, but only really hot guys.)

5: Is not focusing on women when out, and waiting for them to come to you, an efficient strategy to get laid? It's definitely a high status move.
02-06-2019 06:38 AM
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the.king Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Unless you are Cristiano Ronaldo or similar A-List celebrity you can safely assume you won't be approached (by any girl that you'd happily bang) in your lifetime.

Nothing more to it.

Statements like the below are just parody

(02-06-2019 06:38 AM)aswifty Wrote:  My other buddy said he would get approached about 3 times a night, especially if he was playing pool, and he would reject them all out of being committed.
02-06-2019 07:04 AM
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Post: #3
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
If you were asking this question simply out of curiosity... then It'd be cool... but since you're asking it very seriously... not good! The issue here is that you're focusing your attention and a bit of your worth on something that you can't change at all: your appearance!

Yes you can enhance it by eating well... going to the gym and all... but if you're stuck on looks... you hardly will want to focus on improving these... due to feeling bad of not looking like a Chad!


Too much intellectualism going on with you... read Game literature... and approach women you like. Rinse & Repeat Til You Bang!
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 07:13 AM by Captain Gh.)
02-06-2019 07:11 AM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Assuming this isn't a troll question.

It's only the most desperate/drunk/horny/slutty girls that will approach a good looking guy.

Most women are scared shitless of approaching a guy and getting rejected by him is a fate worse than death.

I've been approached about 30 times over the years.
The vast majority of these girls were gross and disgusting.
Fat and ugly.
Below a 5.
The few girls that approached me, that weren't gross, were friends of friends and they recognized me from prior social events. (I guess this kind of counts but not really)

All of this changes if you are a celebrity of some kind. Fully expect to get approached non-stop. (actor, musician, athlete, IG, youtube, internet viral, etc)

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02-06-2019 07:17 AM
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Black Caesar Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Yeesh, go make some good-looking friends and go out and see.

Girls won't come up to you and say "yo fuck me"

But they will open you, they will hover in your vicinity and make themselves available, they will stand next to you giggling with their friends about you, they will dance with their friends in front of you, etc etc etc

Once you learn what a girl "cold approach" looks like then you may realize how daft you've been and that chicks have been trying to hit you up for years while you were too blind to recognize.

My friends who are very good looking have chicks throwing it all the time.

It is a terrible terrible strategy to swoop though.

Game always wins out.

A lot of Good Looking guys have shit Game cause mid-tier girls just get after them. Then if they see a fine chick they freeze up or just play it badly.

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02-06-2019 07:17 AM
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aswifty Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 07:17 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  But they will open you, they will hover in your vicinity and make themselves available, they will stand next to you giggling with their friends about you, they will dance with their friends in front of you, etc etc etc

You're speaking IOIs, I already confronted that's a semi regular occurrence with me. That is not the same as a girl actually coming up to you making a conversation. You need a much higher level of game and competence to capitalize on a girl representing IOIs opposed to a girl who actually opens you for conversation, even if that conversation is indirect.

Tons of guys on Reddit are claiming girls open them for conversation quite frequently, which they purport is because of their looks.

You're saying this is common?

Well, to be honest, i'd be more than happy banging dozens of 5s and 7s at this point in my life, because the loneliness is becoming crippling.

So, if it common for good looking guys to be opened for conversation by mid-tier looking girls, why would i bother actively approaching girls when i can just try to make myself as good looking as possible, act indifferently towards them with maybe slight interest, all the while conversing with my bros, and just wait for them to come to me? We all know when a girl opens, the probability of getting in dem walls increases substantially....

So, why bother opening when a girl can do most of the work for you initially and represent her availability fully? Because, despite a girl giving you the opening to warm approach her, that is still a far greater challenge to succeed at than actually getting opened by her.
02-06-2019 07:39 AM
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aswifty Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 07:17 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  Assuming this isn't a troll question.

It's only the most desperate/drunk/horny/slutty girls that will approach a good looking guy.

Most women are scared shitless of approaching a guy and getting rejected by him is a fate worse than death.

I've been approached about 30 times over the years.
The vast majority of these girls were gross and disgusting.
Fat and ugly.
Below a 5.
The few girls that approached me, that weren't gross, were friends of friends and they recognized me from prior social events. (I guess this kind of counts but not really)

All of this changes if you are a celebrity of some kind. Fully expect to get approached non-stop. (actor, musician, athlete, IG, youtube, internet viral, etc)

This is a realistic answer that I appreciate. 30 times is very believable, given you go out a lot.
Getting approached on average 3 times a night everytime you go out though... im not sure if that's what you claim, but a lot of guys over are reddit are.
02-06-2019 07:43 AM
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Meliorare93 Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
a lot of guys are claiming a lot of things on reddit...
02-06-2019 07:57 AM
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Atlanta Man Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Total honesty here :I have been cold approached by 100 women in the US in my lifetime, I am 43. When I say cold approach I want to be very specific here- Not a college campus, not within a social circle - Ice cold , this women does not know me or people I associate with, and she overtly and directly begins the conversation and asks the first question. 90 of the 100 were absolute dogs-Fat, ugly , desperate women who were shooting way out of their league.

Outside of the US I get approached by hot women frequently , this is due to my height and the way I look-most of these interactions are out of curiosity-sometimes ,rarely, they lead to sex.

If you cum in her mouth and she swallows she will not get pregnant.....I speak from experience.
02-06-2019 08:06 AM
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Black Caesar Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Just go out to any top city top club and you will see for yourself.

It is like guys are incapable of stepping outside to verify whatever ridiculous ideas they have about male female relations.

Beats, rhymes and life

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02-06-2019 08:07 AM
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aswifty Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 08:07 AM)Black Caesar Wrote:  Just go out to any top city top club and you will see for yourself.

It is like guys are incapable of stepping outside to verify whatever ridiculous ideas they have about male female relations.

I don't go out to top city top club, as i don't live in a top city lol. I live in a small city town. Perhaps things are quite different here.
02-06-2019 08:32 AM
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melikey Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 07:17 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  Assuming this isn't a troll question.

It's only the most desperate/drunk/horny/slutty girls that will approach a good looking guy.

Most women are scared shitless of approaching a guy and getting rejected by him is a fate worse than death.

I've been approached about 30 times over the years.
The vast majority of these girls were gross and disgusting.
Fat and ugly.
Below a 5.
The few girls that approached me, that weren't gross, were friends of friends and they recognized me from prior social events. (I guess this kind of counts but not really)

All of this changes if you are a celebrity of some kind. Fully expect to get approached non-stop. (actor, musician, athlete, IG, youtube, internet viral, etc)

This.. It seems like a super naive and unhealthy way of thinking to expect that you (or anyone else) would get approached by decent looking girls.

One thing that no one brought up yet is that it sometimes can be bad to be good looking (If you want to get approached). Girls are obviously too shy, if you are too much above them they will just be to scared to ever approach. I have seen them go indirect to good looking guys friends and so on many times or just dont approach at all but later say when they do get approached that they were too shy to say anything.
02-06-2019 09:25 AM
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RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
I always get shit load of IOIs but keeping in mind the spirit of your post I would say that my cold approaches are few and far between. I occasionally have a decent looking girl grab my ass in the club or if i'm walking around with a tank top a girl will comment or touch me but that's the extent of it.
02-06-2019 09:34 AM
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travolta Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
About twice in my life I've been approached by hot girls and banged them the same night. Both times were in Taiwan. I think I'm above average in looks but not exactly "hot". With the first girl it was on New Years Eve, I was suited up and with a massive group of local friends and we were popping bottles. I was the only white guy in the group and I appeared rich.

The second time was more unexpected and anomaly. The girl was super cute, and I guess I just happened to be her type. I was by myself in the club and was so drunk I could barely stand up. She was also shit faced, and I think her friends jokingly pushed her to do it. I ended up banging her out for the next 4 months, and she was one of the best I ever had.

Overall that shit is pretty rare though. One time in Bangkok this Indian girl outright approached me in the day time. It was pretty weird actually. We went out later that night, made out, but she didn't want to put out that night. She wasn't hot enough to pursue more.
02-06-2019 09:42 AM
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[email protected] Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Yeah a couple of things could be going on (or a mix of all of these):

1. Maybe you're not as good looking as you think? Sounds harsh, but I read somewhere that when we look in the mirror we tend to rate ourselves a point or two higher than what we are. Whatever the case on that, I think it's bullshit anyway because you need to know your self worth and think highly of yourself. If you're a 5, think of yourself as a 7 and go slay. But just know you're no 10.

2. People lie. Females lie about everything, but Males mostly lie to boost their status among other males (and females). They will inflate numbers or stretch the truth. I tend to take these stories with a grain of salt. Until I see it with my own eyes, I always have my reservations. This is just life.

3. Women fear rejection more than Men. Have you ever heard the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Well, there's a reason why that's a saying. Women can get nasty when they get rejected. Us guys take the loss and move on (or get depressed if you're a simp), but women will react in a number of different ways. And I think they know this. So it really takes a lot for a female to open a guy...especially if she's a 7+. Fatties know they will probably get rejected so they don't have much to lose. And chances are they will just hamster the rejection anyway and stuff their face with comfort food later on.

Unless you're a celeb or a male model, I wouldn't expect women to throw pussy at you every time you go out. If you're above average on looks and have your shit together, it will happen from time to time but probably not as much as you'd like (or think you deserve). At least that's been my experience.

"Once you've gotten the lay you have won."- Mufasa

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02-06-2019 09:49 AM
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Savonarola Offline
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RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 08:06 AM)Atlanta Man Wrote:  Total honesty here :I have been cold approached by 100 women in the US in my lifetime, I am 43. When I say cold approach I want to be very specific here- Not a college campus, not within a social circle - Ice cold , this women does not know me or people I associate with, and she overtly and directly begins the conversation and asks the first question. 90 of the 100 were absolute dogs-Fat, ugly , desperate women who were shooting way out of their league.

Outside of the US I get approached by hot women frequently , this is due to my height and the way I look-most of these interactions are out of curiosity-sometimes ,rarely, they lead to sex.

I think it's all about the vibe you project.

Me: I'm way above average, in both height and looks -- no ego here, just facts -- and am basically the 'hot guy' that women talk about. From a distance. In person, I've been cold approached maybe twice in my life. (Both were 7s.) Why? Beats me. I guess I just don't project a "mysterious" vibe.

However, an ex-buddy of mine was equally good-looking and equally tall; we were almost twins. But he got cold approached almost every night we went out together. I would watch the girls literally pass by me to open him. It was humbling but instructive. He had a mysterious vibe that drew women towards him. I knew his parents and they commented to me that girls had been pulled towards him since he was a little boy, so it was something natural.

So it's a natural vibe, you can't teach it. It's a weird charisma. Either you project it or you don't.

tl;dr Women can sense mystery.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 09:56 AM by Savonarola.)
02-06-2019 09:55 AM
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Post: #17
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
I don’t know about a full on “approach” but I’ve seen and had cases where the girl will put in some effort to make an interaction possible without me really doing anything. It could be subtle like maneuvering to a position at the bar. The most recent case was where a girl came up to me and asked if I would buy her a drink. I said no but then we started chatting and she blew me an hour or so later. It will always be in the man to approach and make the first move, especially if the girl is attractive and has some SMV
02-06-2019 09:58 AM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
Seriously? My experiences haven't been that great but even I've been approached by a 6 before. I have 2 close friends, 1 looks like a mix between Jalen Hurts and Shamar Moore. The other friend looks like a darker Zyzz. Both of these guys SUCK with women (I mentioned the Zyzz looking one before) The First friend, gets approach every often usually by 6's but sometimes the occasional 9 approaches him. The other friend gets approached by 7's ups but bores them off VERY quickly.
02-06-2019 10:34 AM
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LINUX Away
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Post: #19
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
I'll give you an honest answer for an honest question without the bullshit.

In 2017 - 2018, I spent the majority of my time in a club. I was on an unhealthy amount of trenbolone, doing cardio twice a day, and I had more muscle mass than 98% of men in my town.

Me running night game would involve me going to a night club and standing in the middle of the dance floor, smiling, and waiting. And yes, I would be cold approached by 1-4 women directly or indirectly between the hours of 11-2am, every night, on a consistent basis. Never once did I approach anyone. I don't chase, I am the one that's chased.

Getting laid was like shooting fish in the barrel, but I was also in the top 99% of men in the club. I am not denying that.

After having a very major surgery, I lost a lot of muscle mass, and my value in the club went down drastically to almost non-existent. But thanks to muscle memory, hitting the gym hard, and eating healthy again, I'm almost back to where I was.

Physique, Masculinity, Confidence. If you want to be cold approached, that's what you need. If you don't have it, spend the next five years working toward it.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 11:14 AM by LINUX.)
02-06-2019 11:10 AM
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RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
What's the girl version of a cold approach?
Sure I've had girls "approach" me or at least obviously engineer a situation where a conversation has to take place.
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 11:11 AM by hv123.)
02-06-2019 11:10 AM
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RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
I don't really update my journal much at the moment, but basically...yes!
One of my friends is male model calibre good looking (mentioned a few times in my FR's in my journal), and the results are always the same.
i.e - from 8pm until about 11pm, he is getting HUGE IOI's. Girls eye-fukking him etc. Standing near him hoping he'll open them (he never does) etc.
However, once the girls get a little 'loose' and drunk (past midnight) all bets are off, and he's got girls opening him, complimenting him, rubbing his chest as an opener, grinding on his dick, girls opening him by pretending to recognise him (that's a very common one!) etc.
It's pretty crazy.
Typically i'd say about 5 approaches per night, and LOTS of huge IOI's that most guys would swoop in at!
The thing i'm more jealous of is that it seems it's hard to NOT pull when a girl is super into you/attracted to you. He has zero 'game'. I mean, he just 'not weird'. But That's enough. There's no push/pull, DHVing, teasing, bla bla bla. He never needs to worry about 'running out of things to say' because when it goes quiet, even at the beginning of an interaction, she will more than pull her weight and help him massively in terms of escalation etc, too. It's easy mode to the extreme. I try to only watch infields of ugly guys now lol (although there's not many of them on youtube! The PUA world is now full of young handsome guys picking up forreign girls who are slightly less attractive than them lol)

My journal : https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57783.html
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 11:28 AM by subterfuge.)
02-06-2019 11:17 AM
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aswifty Offline
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RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 09:49 AM)[email protected] Wrote:  Yeah a couple of things could be going on (or a mix of all of these):

1. Maybe you're not as good looking as you think? Sounds harsh, but I read somewhere that when we look in the mirror we tend to rate ourselves a point or two higher than what we are. Whatever the case on that, I think it's bullshit anyway because you need to know your self worth and think highly of yourself. If you're a 5, think of yourself as a 7 and go slay. But just know you're no 10.

2. People lie. Females lie about everything, but Males mostly lie to boost their status among other males (and females). They will inflate numbers or stretch the truth. I tend to take these stories with a grain of salt. Until I see it with my own eyes, I always have my reservations. This is just life.

3. Women fear rejection more than Men. Have you ever heard the saying "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"? Well, there's a reason why that's a saying. Women can get nasty when they get rejected. Us guys take the loss and move on (or get depressed if you're a simp), but women will react in a number of different ways. And I think they know this. So it really takes a lot for a female to open a guy...especially if she's a 7+. Fatties know they will probably get rejected so they don't have much to lose. And chances are they will just hamster the rejection anyway and stuff their face with comfort food later on.

Unless you're a celeb or a male model, I wouldn't expect women to throw pussy at you every time you go out. If you're above average on looks and have your shit together, it will happen from time to time but probably not as much as you'd like (or think you deserve). At least that's been my experience.

1: Yes, i tend to think this, it would make a lot of sense. I know my looks has decreased ever since i've been bulking for the gym, and am about 17% bodyfat, but i use to be that guy when i was tanned and 12% bodyfat and 19years old that would have girls yell "hey you're cute" out their window of their cars, or be that guy who would have girls hover around you everywhere i went in public swiping their hair. I mean, every girl i look at, they usually look back, even nowadays.
But, maybe these things aren't special at all, and i'm making too big of a deal out of them, thus putting too much pressure on myself to expect girls to be more receptive due to my looks.
Also, i'm 5'10, and I know that's a big reason girls aren't so much into me.

But at the end of the day, i'm not going to discount myself as a guy that has a potential to be a 9/10 in looks until i do everything i can to make myself look optimally attractive, like tan, teeth whitening, 10% bodyfat, ect...

I've never had a real girlfriend, random girls don't approach me the very few times i did go the club, online dating hasn't gone well (but i partly attribute this to weak pictures, however if i was truly attractive id imagine i could get away with shit pictures, and still get laid with hot girls (not whales), and that is not the case for me.).

Idk, these women are probably not into me as much as i hope. A male friend called me ugly yesterday saying i look too feminine, short , and retarded looking. That guy is a fag though
02-06-2019 11:25 AM
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Belgrano Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 07:39 AM)aswifty Wrote:  Tons of guys on Reddit are claiming girls open them for conversation quite frequently, which they purport is because of their looks.

Quote:Tons of guys on Reddit

Quote:Guys on Reddit

Quote:Reddit

Lolwtf
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 11:29 AM by Belgrano.)
02-06-2019 11:28 AM
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Savonarola Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 11:10 AM)LINUX Wrote:  Getting laid was like shooting fish in the barrel, but I was also in the top 99% of men in the club. I am not denying that.

Wow man, being in the top 99%, that's an accomplishment.
;-)
(This post was last modified: 02-06-2019 11:31 AM by Savonarola.)
02-06-2019 11:31 AM
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aswifty Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Do sexy guys really get cold approached by random girls that often?
(02-06-2019 11:10 AM)LINUX Wrote:  I'll give you an honest answer for an honest question without the bullshit.

In 2017 - 2018, I spent the majority of my time in a club. I was on an unhealthy amount of trenbolone, doing cardio twice a day, and I had more muscle mass than 98% of men in my town.

Me running night game would involve me going to a night club and standing in the middle of the dance floor, smiling, and waiting. And yes, I would be cold approached by 1-4 women directly or indirectly between the hours of 11-2am, every night, on a consistent basis. Never once did I approach anyone. I don't chase, I am the one that's chased.

Getting laid was like shooting fish in the barrel, but I was also in the top 99% of men in the club. I am not denying that.

After having a very major surgery, I lost a lot of muscle mass, and my value in the club went down drastically to almost non-existent. But thanks to muscle memory, hitting the gym hard, and eating healthy again, I'm almost back to where I was.

Physique, Masculinity, Confidence. If you want to be cold approached, that's what you need. If you don't have it, spend the next five years working toward it.

If this is true, than learning the skill of cold approaching women is more or less a waste of time, and the best method would to be is get good looking as possible, and eliminate neediness entirely and wait for girls to approach you. You do know your comments somewhat dispels the virtue of cold approaching women and learning game, if your intention is getting laid. I'm starting to agree with incels lol
02-06-2019 11:31 AM
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