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Early 30s newbie
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Gmac Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Early 30s newbie
(02-20-2019 12:46 AM)cruzinV Wrote:  Yeah so I'm in my early 30s and never had a gf, about 13 ONS mostly with mediocre women. I used to approach girls doing night game when I was in my 20s but maybe about 1 or 2 a night. Once I hit 30 I pretty much stopped approaching and went MGTOW and would just go out to people watch and get shitfaced, usually alone. Well after a few yrs of doing this I realized it's unhealthy and a pretty fucked up way to live. Problem is I have severe approach anxiety, I haven't approached a girl in 2 years. My looks is my biggest sticking point, my friends have told me I'm about a 4/10 and I think that's pretty accurate. I need to stop thinking about my looks and just approach girls and not give a fuck. But what's the best way to develop the idgaf attitude? How do even get started after 2 yrs of not approaching anyone? I dont have any friends and always go out alone, I think this also hurts my chances. Any advice is appreciated, just trying to change my lifestyle, I feel at this point in my life it's now or never.

Meditate, learn to turn the brain off so you stop over-thinking the fact that you're not doing well with women. Figure out what your strengths are, find other ways to meet women. Practice, practice, practice. Put yourself out there again and again. You have to keep shooting shots, eventually you'll land one, and then you learn to land more.

That's it.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2019 09:41 PM by Gmac.)
03-05-2019 09:40 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-05-2019 07:54 PM)TripleG Wrote:  Unfortunately bad facial aesthetics is something that a normal guy will never really understand so I feel for you dude. How would you say you compare to the photo I posted earlier of the actor? I would say his face is a 4.5.
Dress and being in shape but with a bad face usually will not get you a young, good looking girl, as the young one's (under 25) tend to be very image conscious so since you are in your 30's try to go for older women (30-40) who tend to look more for a provider and are less image obsessed.

I am uglier than the photo, I would say he is slightly below average so a 4.5 is reasonable. I could make a 4.5 face work no problem. But facially I'm a 2.5-3, I add 1 point for my height, body, and money.

My abysmal face puts me in a rare situation that few guys could imagine, even "normal" everyday ugly guys. One example I'll give is last year when i was getting out of a cab outside of a nightclub, this drunk girl sees me and does a bee line straight to me and literally says "oh your so ugly..your uglyyyy!!" and just kept going on about how ugly I am as she was scanning my face.

Heres a test you could do to find out how ugly you are. If you fail this test, then your scraping the bottom of the barrell. Go visit several strip clubs alone during a SLOW night and grab a table where theres plenty stripper traffic. If the strippers actively avoid you to go sit with obese guys, 60yr old grandpas, dirty broke looking losers and they pretend like your not there, no smiles, no eye contact, no nothing. Then my friend you are one ass ugly motherfucker. Welcome to my world.
03-05-2019 10:03 PM
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TripleG Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-05-2019 10:03 PM)cruzinV Wrote:  
(03-05-2019 07:54 PM)TripleG Wrote:  Unfortunately bad facial aesthetics is something that a normal guy will never really understand so I feel for you dude. How would you say you compare to the photo I posted earlier of the actor? I would say his face is a 4.5.
Dress and being in shape but with a bad face usually will not get you a young, good looking girl, as the young one's (under 25) tend to be very image conscious so since you are in your 30's try to go for older women (30-40) who tend to look more for a provider and are less image obsessed.

I am uglier than the photo, I would say he is slightly below average so a 4.5 is reasonable. I could make a 4.5 face work no problem. But facially I'm a 2.5-3, I add 1 point for my height, body, and money.

My abysmal face puts me in a rare situation that few guys could imagine, even "normal" everyday ugly guys. One example I'll give is last year when i was getting out of a cab outside of a nightclub, this drunk girl sees me and does a bee line straight to me and literally says "oh your so ugly..your uglyyyy!!" and just kept going on about how ugly I am as she was scanning my face.

Heres a test you could do to find out how ugly you are. If you fail this test, then your scraping the bottom of the barrell. Go visit several strip clubs alone during a SLOW night and grab a table where theres plenty stripper traffic. If the strippers actively avoid you to go sit with obese guys, 60yr old grandpas, dirty broke looking losers and they pretend like your not there, no smiles, no eye contact, no nothing. Then my friend you are one ass ugly motherfucker. Welcome to my world.

something does not make sense....you say you're really ugly but then mention that you've had 13 one-night stands. That means some girls find you tolerable if they wanna bang you. Again, my original advice stands. Go to SE Asia, hookup with a few 5's and then report back.
03-05-2019 10:13 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-05-2019 10:13 PM)TripleG Wrote:  something does not make sense....you say you're really ugly but then mention that you've had 13 one-night stands. That means some girls find you tolerable if they wanna bang you. Again, my original advice stands. Go to SE Asia, hookup with a few 5's and then report back.

Yes, but it was over 18 years of constantly going out, and I had two 4year long dryspells plus several 1-2 yr spells in between lays. A lot of the girls were on my looks level, the second to last one was a fat 40yr old who was BALDING!

That said, 2 of the girls were not bad at all, maybe 7s this was when I was around 26. And the last one i got was a 5.5 and she hit on me so I know there are girls out there who for some reason find my face likeable...but its highly niche girls.
(This post was last modified: 03-05-2019 10:30 PM by cruzinV.)
03-05-2019 10:24 PM
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Gmac Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-05-2019 10:24 PM)cruzinV Wrote:  
(03-05-2019 09:40 PM)Gmac Wrote:  
(02-20-2019 12:46 AM)cruzinV Wrote:  Yeah so I'm in my early 30s and never had a gf, about 13 ONS mostly with mediocre women. I used to approach girls doing night game when I was in my 20s but maybe about 1 or 2 a night. Once I hit 30 I pretty much stopped approaching and went MGTOW and would just go out to people watch and get shitfaced, usually alone. Well after a few yrs of doing this I realized it's unhealthy and a pretty fucked up way to live. Problem is I have severe approach anxiety, I haven't approached a girl in 2 years. My looks is my biggest sticking point, my friends have told me I'm about a 4/10 and I think that's pretty accurate. I need to stop thinking about my looks and just approach girls and not give a fuck. But what's the best way to develop the idgaf attitude? How do even get started after 2 yrs of not approaching anyone? I dont have any friends and always go out alone, I think this also hurts my chances. Any advice is appreciated, just trying to change my lifestyle, I feel at this point in my life it's now or never.

Meditate, learn to turn the brain off so you stop over-thinking the fact that you're not doing well with women. Figure out what your strengths are, find other ways to meet women. Practice, practice, practice. Put yourself out there again and again. You have to keep shooting shots, eventually you'll land one, and then you learn to land more.

That's it.

(03-05-2019 10:13 PM)TripleG Wrote:  
(03-05-2019 10:03 PM)cruzinV Wrote:  
(03-05-2019 07:54 PM)TripleG Wrote:  Unfortunately bad facial aesthetics is something that a normal guy will never really understand so I feel for you dude. How would you say you compare to the photo I posted earlier of the actor? I would say his face is a 4.5.
Dress and being in shape but with a bad face usually will not get you a young, good looking girl, as the young one's (under 25) tend to be very image conscious so since you are in your 30's try to go for older women (30-40) who tend to look more for a provider and are less image obsessed.

I am uglier than the photo, I would say he is slightly below average so a 4.5 is reasonable. I could make a 4.5 face work no problem. But facially I'm a 2.5-3, I add 1 point for my height, body, and money.

My abysmal face puts me in a rare situation that few guys could imagine, even "normal" everyday ugly guys. One example I'll give is last year when i was getting out of a cab outside of a nightclub, this drunk girl sees me and does a bee line straight to me and literally says "oh your so ugly..your uglyyyy!!" and just kept going on about how ugly I am as she was scanning my face.

Heres a test you could do to find out how ugly you are. If you fail this test, then your scraping the bottom of the barrell. Go visit several strip clubs alone during a SLOW night and grab a table where theres plenty stripper traffic. If the strippers actively avoid you to go sit with obese guys, 60yr old grandpas, dirty broke looking losers and they pretend like your not there, no smiles, no eye contact, no nothing. Then my friend you are one ass ugly motherfucker. Welcome to my world.

something does not make sense....you say you're really ugly but then mention that you've had 13 one-night stands. That means some girls find you tolerable if they wanna bang you. Again, my original advice stands. Go to SE Asia, hookup with a few 5's and then report back.

Yes, but it was over 18 years of constantly going out, and I had two 4year long dryspells plus several 1-2 yr spells in between lays. A lot of the girls were on my looks level, the second to last one was a fat 40yr old who was BALDING!

Maybe consider getting jacked and shaving your head.

Vice-Captain - #TeamWaitAndSee
03-05-2019 10:27 PM
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whiteknightrises Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Early 30s newbie
(02-20-2019 12:46 AM)cruzinV Wrote:  Yeah so I'm in my early 30s and never had a gf, about 13 ONS mostly with mediocre women. I used to approach girls doing night game when I was in my 20s but maybe about 1 or 2 a night. Once I hit 30 I pretty much stopped approaching and went MGTOW and would just go out to people watch and get shitfaced, usually alone. Well after a few yrs of doing this I realized it's unhealthy and a pretty fucked up way to live. Problem is I have severe approach anxiety, I haven't approached a girl in 2 years. My looks is my biggest sticking point, my friends have told me I'm about a 4/10 and I think that's pretty accurate. I need to stop thinking about my looks and just approach girls and not give a fuck. But what's the best way to develop the idgaf attitude? How do even get started after 2 yrs of not approaching anyone? I dont have any friends and always go out alone, I think this also hurts my chances. Any advice is appreciated, just trying to change my lifestyle, I feel at this point in my life it's now or never.

Why don't you

Try to improve your looks - you probably haven't optimized them - does not just include "gym"

"How do even get started after 2 yrs of not approaching anyone?"

Simple but not easy - approach a girl, or two, or three

You can go out alone. It's better than going out with someone who is clueless

A good wing is amazing though - you could start by meeting people off this forum. It's harder to meet people randomly out at night - more often than not they ruin things

And yes. It's now or never. Today is the youngest you'll ever be

You aren't getting laid because you still believe in "game".

Here's how I went from being a 21-year-old, videogame-addicted, Asian virgin to banging too many girls to count (no PUA bs):

https://whiteknightrises.com/start-here

BTC: 1A5WUGDNGnsxGJ62CXadV6T2oapKfFu4T3
ETH: 0x9019d135dD1FFA06f0CC53C5942cBce806a943dd

(If I miss your reply PM me)
03-07-2019 02:43 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #32
RE: Early 30s newbie
I had a first time wingman lastnight, hes short, bald with average looks. This is a time where being alone would have been better, the guy was meek and low energy and I just spent almost the entire night bullshiting with him and not approaching girls. He had no interest in approaching, clearly an incel. He bounced and I ran into another guy I met a few weeks ago, this guy is very high energy and he invited me to his table. I was talking to his friend and he busts out a baggie of coke and asked if I want some, I did two bumps and he said I could keep it. It was like $30 worth of coke. I also tried phenibut earlier about 750mg, I think it worked cuz i was feeling in a good mood and kinda chatty but it could have been a placebo or maybe alcohol, who knows but it's worth experimenting more. Oh I started messaging this girl I talked a few months ago, she about a 6.5 with a pretty face. She was very responsive and was asking me questions,etc. I invited her out but she said she works all weekend but said she could get off work early on Sunday and meet me. I have the feeling she will flake tho cuz I tried to meet her a while back and she flaked.

Holy shit I just did some day game lol, I hit on my waitress. I asked her what bars she recommends and she mentioned a few, then I asked what she was doing tonight, she kinda laughed and said going out with her friends, I asked if she wanted to go out somewhere and she laughed and I stupidly apologized for hitting on her. I know beta as fuck, but kinda proud that I hit on her.
(This post was last modified: 03-09-2019 05:49 PM by cruzinV.)
03-09-2019 05:31 PM
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bigbadpua Offline
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Post: #33
RE: Early 30s newbie
hm, I feel ugly too, but I never asked anybody to put a number on it. Plus im balding and having a bit of a belly despite working out hard and eating healthy (drinking too much tho). And 36 yo. But my vibe is the thing that determines my success in any night, day and else. Also I realized I only live once, so I have basically no approach anxiety, but nowadays sometimes approach apathy. After all getting girls wont make you happy. Getting over your fear will make you feel a lot better tho. My best year was last year with 15 lays, this year none yet but I dont care really. Youll find a way, im sure. Btw how would you rate this guy


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03-10-2019 07:01 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #34
RE: Early 30s newbie
Saturday I ended up getting coked out all night not talking to girls. I wanted to salvage the weekend so i went out to a bar sunday and i ran into this girl i made out with like 2 years ago. She is 23 and looked way hotter now, she went from a soft 6 to a solid 7. She was getting lots of attention in the bar and i saw her blow off two dudes so i was hesitant to approach but I said f it, i approached her and she recognized me right away, I bought her a drink and the convo was going pretty good but suddenly she said she was gonna go to another part of the bar and said goodbye. My previous self would have sulked and not do anything more, but now I decided to plow through so i walked around the bar lookign for her and approached her again. i said some things that made her laugh and I went for the number close and asked if she could meet up sometime this week, she said she was too busy this week but that she'd let me know when she has time off work and school.


(03-10-2019 07:01 PM)bigbadpua Wrote:  hm, I feel ugly too, but I never asked anybody to put a number on it. Plus im balding and having a bit of a belly despite working out hard and eating healthy (drinking too much tho). And 36 yo. But my vibe is the thing that determines my success in any night, day and else. Also I realized I only live once, so I have basically no approach anxiety, but nowadays sometimes approach apathy. After all getting girls wont make you happy. Getting over your fear will make you feel a lot better tho. My best year was last year with 15 lays, this year none yet but I dont care really. Youll find a way, im sure. Btw how would you rate this guy

Your no where near ugly if you got 15 lays in one year.

Isnt that tom torer? Hes below average id say soft 5.
03-11-2019 12:33 PM
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Robert High Hawk Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Early 30s newbie
The singer Marc Anthony is one ugly looking, short dude. He was married to Miss Puerto Rico (later Miss Universe), then cheated on her. Married to J Lo, who although was never that hot, at least was extremely sought after by many. Then after that ended he was dating some 18 year old hottie.

Yes, of course, he's famous. When he was dating Miss PR/Universe, he was not super famous and dating way above his league. I read somewhere that told the story of how his father told him when he was young "Son, you don't have good looks, so in order to be successful, you need to develop a really great personality."

So by his own father's admission, he was not good looking, but he took the advice and developed his personality and charisma - through music - to be loved and wanted by many women. You can absolutely do the same through charm, humor, bold moxie, deep compelling thoughts, funny lolz-worthy aloof attitude.
03-12-2019 12:11 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Early 30s newbie
Damn I just sent a message to the girl from Sunday saying "hi how are you" and she immedialty blocks me. Shit like this is what demoralizes me, I legit did nothing wrong and still ended up being blocked.
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2019 01:22 AM by cruzinV.)
03-14-2019 01:13 AM
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TripleG Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-14-2019 01:13 AM)cruzinV Wrote:  Damn I just sent a message to the girl from Sunday saying "hi how are you" and she immedialty blocks me. Shit like this is what demoralizes me, I legit did nothing wrong and still ended up being blocked.

Word of advice, stop wasting your time and money hitting on girls in usa; go to the travel forum here and try to absorb as much info as possible. Remember in most major US cities there are way more men than women in the 21-35 age bracket, so most get spoiled by getting too much attention from beta males and when a guy like yourself approaches who has weaker game + as you said mediocre looks it results in rejections as is the case of the message example you provided.

Instead concentrate on work and your hobbies which should hopefully make you a better man. Then when you get some vacation time from work go overseas and try game. For example, I myself have not been on a date in USA for over 2 years but when I travel it all changes. I don't really have regrets as I know i'd just be wasting money and time talkin' to shallow/spoiled women locally.
(This post was last modified: 03-14-2019 10:31 PM by TripleG.)
03-14-2019 10:31 PM
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Obermarschall Offline
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Post: #38
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-14-2019 01:13 AM)cruzinV Wrote:  Damn I just sent a message to the girl from Sunday saying "hi how are you" and she immedialty blocks me. Shit like this is what demoralizes me, I legit did nothing wrong and still ended up being blocked.

It is demotivating, yes, but continue doing what you are doing. I know it is easy for most of to say but, try to be positive. Go out AFTER you did something you like to do at home. Idk listen to some motivating music, watch your favourite series, whatever you like or love, nobody will judge you!

You tanked some positive energy and give some better vibes thanks to that. After x rejections you will surely feel sad for a while, but hey, you know what I did? I always tried to find some funny shit or reaction a woman had, no matter if she rejected me or not! That way I had always a good laugh and well it worked wonder many times!

As some others said, try also to hit up SEA, but work on yourself.

P.S. you are on the right path.
03-15-2019 06:24 AM
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cruzinV
cruzinV Offline
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Post: #39
RE: Early 30s newbie
(03-14-2019 10:31 PM)TripleG Wrote:  Word of advice, stop wasting your time and money hitting on girls in usa; go to the travel forum here and try to absorb as much info as possible. Remember in most major US cities there are way more men than women in the 21-35 age bracket, so most get spoiled by getting too much attention from beta males and when a guy like yourself approaches who has weaker game + as you said mediocre looks it results in rejections as is the case of the message example you provided.

Instead concentrate on work and your hobbies which should hopefully make you a better man. Then when you get some vacation time from work go overseas and try game. For example, I myself have not been on a date in USA for over 2 years but when I travel it all changes. I don't really have regrets as I know i'd just be wasting money and time talkin' to shallow/spoiled women locally.

I dont know man, whats the point of going to thailand and making a "connection" with a girl if she lives 8000 miles away from my home? Just to get a few days of hanging out with her? Just doesnt seem worth it unless you can stay there for an extended amount of time which I cant. Also I get the feeling that most girls will just see you like a sex tourist, I routinely read about guys having to evade prostitutes, girls asking for money at the end of dates, etc its ridiculous.

I could travel to mexico but I dont think girls there are poor/desperate enough to go with a guy like me, especially if i visit a large city. My only choice is to make it work in socal of all places, someway somehow...or die trying.
03-15-2019 05:11 PM
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RDF Offline
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Post: #40
RE: Early 30s newbie
Just found this thread. A few posters have already given good advice but here's a few points.

You say that your biggest flaw is that you aren't facially good looking. I'm not either, but I've optimized my look to the best of my ability. With that + style and being in good shape, I'm not banging 9s on the reg, but I do pretty well with women as a whole and am rarely starved for sex. Here's a few things anybody can do:
-- Haircut: Figure out what hairstyle matches your facial structure. You can look online, ask a barber, or just guess and check. If you're balding, just shave it off. If not, even play around with dyeing your hair. My friend just died his hair blonde (like the rapper G-Eazy) and suddenly gets play like crazy.
-- Facial hair: Same thing as above. Not everybody looks good with a beard.
-- Acne/skin: There's plenty of treatments out there. As a temporary solution you can use beauty balm. Kinda gay I know, but it works.

In my view, unless you have a facial deformity or something like burn wounds, this should improve your look by several points.

Beyond the looks, you should work on your inner game as well. Of course, easier said than done. But the fact that you were doing blow and not talking to girls tells me that you have an introverted personality and are not confident in yourself. Blow tends to exaggerate the personality that you already have because you're far more aware.

I would continue to work on yourself primarily with hobbies and work, supplement with some nightgame and online game (don't expect much there but worth ~5 mins/day investment) as practice to keep improving, and plan to take a trip internationally. Not only will it be a fun experience, but you will likely do better with the chicks than in Socal.
03-15-2019 08:45 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #41
RE: Early 30s newbie
Just had a sobering hour long phone call with my brother about my life situation. We pretty much talked about how Im going to die alone and will always be alone because as we BOTH agreed, my looks are just too fucked up. He said he's embarrassed when people back home ask him about me, and said he no longer gives excuses as to why Ive been single all my life and just straight up says im too ugly to get a gf. Also said that our mom has given up hope that i'll ever find anyone. We were kinda laughing at my situation , and cracking jokes about my life with moments of sobering sincerity. He also said the situation im in is not my fault since im merely a victim of my looks and that Im actually a very strong person for enduring 34 years of being completely alone. I told him about my recent attempts to meet girls and he said I should stop trying, that it'll just lead to unnecessary stress and failure. Some of the shit he said was tongue-in-cheek since we like to make each other laugh but as they say, a lot of truth is said in jest. But we both agreed that if my efforts lead to a gf, or even a fuck buddy, it will be a fucking miracle.
Today 01:15 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #42
RE: Early 30s newbie
You are only failing to get a girl because you are approaching well above your SMV (not just looks, but full SMV score)

If you lower your target SMV, you will get a girl easy.

A five chasing 10's is always going to be whining about how he "can't get a girl" but there would be a line up of 5's willing to fuck and suck him that he ignores.

Start lower and work your way up.
Today 03:46 PM
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cruzinV Offline
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Post: #43
RE: Early 30s newbie
(Today 03:46 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  You are only failing to get a girl because you are approaching well above your SMV (not just looks, but full SMV score)

If you lower your target SMV, you will get a girl easy.

A five chasing 10's is always going to be whining about how he "can't get a girl" but there would be a line up of 5's willing to fuck and suck him that he ignores.

Start lower and work your way up.

I'll admit i only approach girls who are about 2 points above me in looks, which means mostly 6's...BUT that is because I have good SMV in everything other than attractiveness. I make well into the six figures, i know how to dress, i have a tall athletic body, i even have decent game when given a chance. I am above average in everything other than my face so I feel that should count for something and allow me to date up. If I have to get a 3-4/10 than ill just go MGTOW again.
Today 06:51 PM
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Ouroboros Offline
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Post: #44
RE: Early 30s newbie
(Today 06:51 PM)cruzinV Wrote:  
(Today 03:46 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  You are only failing to get a girl because you are approaching well above your SMV (not just looks, but full SMV score)

If you lower your target SMV, you will get a girl easy.

A five chasing 10's is always going to be whining about how he "can't get a girl" but there would be a line up of 5's willing to fuck and suck him that he ignores.

Start lower and work your way up.

I'll admit i only approach girls who are about 2 points above me in looks, which means mostly 6's...BUT that is because I have good SMV in everything other than attractiveness. I make well into the six figures, i know how to dress, i have a tall athletic body, i even have decent game when given a chance. I am above average in everything other than my face so I feel that should count for something and allow me to date up. If I have to get a 3-4/10 than ill just go MGTOW again.

Are you popular/high status/considered 'cool' in social circles that feature attractive women? That's the kind of SMV that matters in the Western world for game purposes.

If you're not willing to play the social game, then it might be more worthwhile going overseas to a place where your look is better appreciated or money is valued more than looks.
Today 08:04 PM
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Post: #45
RE: Early 30s newbie
Okay I'm seeing some advise here. However:

Try to hang out with someone with reputation here and get feedback . There are things that only can be seen from outside.
Do not use your daygame trying to get laid. Use it to build social circle as well.
Try to display a successful man image.
As other said, travel.
Today 11:31 PM
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