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Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
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destiny Offline
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Post: #1
Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
There's been at least three instances where I've gotten a girl back to my place but I couldn't even get to first base. I should mention that all of these chicks are Vietnamese in Saigon, Vietnam. The culture is much more conservative over here.

girl #1: wouldn't let me sit directly across from her, but she was ok with me sitting beside her while watching a movie. She had her hands crossed too which tells me she's closed off. When I tried to move closer to her, she said she felt uncomfortable with me coming so close to her. Never saw her again!

girl #2: Pulled this chick on the same day over from the supermarket. Met her online. Once back to my place while I was cooking dinner, she started to mop my floor. I'm like wtf. Then after I put on a movie, she isn't sitting close to me but slowly I start to close the distance and start to touch her arm. Then like a few minutes later, she gets up, goes to my fridge and comes back with some yogurt, except now she's sitting on a chair beside the bed. After she's done eating, tells me she has to go and shortly after leaves. This happened yesterday.

girl #3: This happened today like an hour ago. Today was our third date. On the previous two dates, I had already physically escalated with her to the point of hand holding, shoulder cuddling, hand on her thighs. I thought I would have gotten far with this one. After lunch, I put on a movie, I slowly slide beside her but her arms are crossed. I get our thighs touching side by side but her arms are still crossed. All throughout out she's playing with her phone, going on facebook and switching back to watching the movie, playing on her phone. I gradually start to touch her forearm and then when she got up for a second, I tried to put my arm so that it would cup her shoulder and try to cuddle with her. She freaked out and said what are you doing blah blah blah. Removed my arm and told me to go watch the movie. Several minutes passed, I try to talk with her again and turn to face her, but she is like go watch the movie. After a few more attempts like this, I freeze her out. I start texting on my phone asking a buddy for advice. She of course see's this going on. Tries to get my attention, but I brush her off for the first 1-2 attempts then show her some more attention. It gets no where, she just says go watch the movie.

Eventually the movie finishes, she has to leave soon but now I just flick through the tv channels on tv to something in english. She doesn't understand and now we start talking more. She tells me she should go, I tell her it's still early and she has plenty of time. I try to escalate again, this time she's more receptive, I end up holding her hand now, my other hand cupping her shoulder, we start exchanging glances and making eye contact, and I feel she's almost ready to be kissed. I'm like a minute away from making my move on her when her phone rings. It's some guy I believe (she told me an old colleague from her university days), they talk for like 10 minutes or so. Then once the call is over, she gets up says she has to go on to work, puts her belongings on, and then leaves. As she is getting her motorbike ready, she asks me what I'm doing on women's day and if I'm free. I tell her it's her turn to cook this time. She laughs and says I should do it. Soon, we say goodbye and I'm left with a set of blue balls.

The previous girls that I've gotten together with, allowed me to get close to them, cuddle with them, then I simply turn their cheeks towards me, or if they are looking at me, I just go for the kiss. I don't really have too much trouble once we start making out but my sticking point is from when she arrives at my place to actually getting that first kiss that is the issue.

Am I simply supposed to cave man these chicks who have their arms crossed or pull their hands and arms away when I reach for them or is there something else I'm missing. What do you do if a chick won't sit beside you, even if you tell her to come sit there? Do you simply kick her out? Try again a few minutes? Move closer to her? I'm lost at this point and I don't want to lose more future prospects with my lack of experience with this area.
(This post was last modified: 02-24-2019 03:33 AM by destiny.)
02-24-2019 03:30 AM
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HAcoreRD Offline
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Post: #2
RE: physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
As someone who doesn't have this problem, it sounds to me like you might be too insecure, hesitant or bad at building comfort. Maybe you are escalating too slowly? It sounds like you give them time to have second thoughts, get bored or whatever.

Also, how are you screening these girls? Maybe they see you as boyfriend material and thus deliberately deflect your attempts at pushing for sex. You should already be able to tell that they are DTF before they even come to your house, it's not something you discover once you're already there. You say you are touching them, but are they reciprocating at all?
(This post was last modified: 02-24-2019 03:44 AM by HAcoreRD.)
02-24-2019 03:41 AM
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destiny Offline
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Post: #3
RE: physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
(02-24-2019 03:41 AM)HAcoreRD Wrote:  As someone who doesn't have this problem, it sounds to me like you might be too insecure, hesitant or bad at building comfort. Maybe you are escalating too slowly? It sounds like you give them time to have second thoughts, get bored or whatever.

Also, how are you screening these girls? Maybe they see you as boyfriend material and thus deliberately deflect your attempts at pushing for sex. You should already be able to tell that they are DTF before they even come to your house, it's not something you discover once you're already there. You say you are touching them, but are they reciprocating at all?

I think you nailed it with the bf material thing. I think girl #1 and #3 see me as bf material. Because I wined and dined them on previous dates. I think they are trying to postpone sex with me. Girl #1 gave me a hug at the end of the date but wouldn't let me come close to her during the date?Dodgy

Girl #3 was playfully hitting me when I teased her today. Near the end of the date, she started to reciprocate my touching. She actually put her thigh that was touching mines side by side on top of my thigh and let me hold her hand without pulling away. Also while I was cooking food early during the date, she walked over to me, glanced over my shoulder to see the food, and rested her chin on my shoulders.

Also physical touching seems to be my achilles heel. I am not very comfortable touching women, and are slowly learning to conquer and get over this. Once I've gotten past this and making out with the chick, I can usually turn her on enough with foreplay to override any LMR she presents, but getting the kiss is a huge hurdle for me. Always has been, and still seems to be.

I think in the future I won't even put on a movie, I'll just put on some english tv channel, let the girl get bored a bit and then start talking with her and escalating within 10-15 minutes of this. They seem to look distracted when I put on a movie.
(This post was last modified: 02-24-2019 03:56 AM by destiny.)
02-24-2019 03:52 AM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
Welcome to what dating was like before porn, depravity, feminism and slutty culture.

You actually have to date, build comfort, and go the long hard road to get through the bases.

Not just tinder swipe, choke, anal, slap and kick her out into an uber all within the hour.

What type of women do you prefer?
(This post was last modified: 02-24-2019 03:47 PM by RatInTheWoods.)
02-24-2019 03:47 PM
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Sex Machine Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
Destiny
This has worked for me. Instead of a movie, put sensual music on or any seductive music in your library, and build comfort by talking to her, getting to know each other more. Then tell the girl you want to teach her some basic dance moves, since she likes you already she won't say no. This will help break the touch barrier faster and get you both comfortable with touching.

Get her hands, stand her up and start showing her your moves and twirling her, you have to touch her and involve her in your moves. Observe her body language, the music and dancing should put her in a jolly mood, move her closer to you and first kiss her on the lips, if she is receptive dance with her some more, and as she is laughing and having a good time go for make out. If she is receptive, kiss her neck, softly pulling her hair back if you need to to reveal her neck. As she is turned on you can escalate further.
(This post was last modified: 02-24-2019 07:16 PM by Sex Machine.)
02-24-2019 07:00 PM
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destiny Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
(02-24-2019 03:47 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  Welcome to what dating was like before porn, depravity, feminism and slutty culture.

You actually have to date, build comfort, and go the long hard road to get through the bases.

Not just tinder swipe, choke, anal, slap and kick her out into an uber all within the hour.

What type of women do you prefer?

Well I'm actually looking for more LTR types of girls, however, usually if I can't at least get to first base, I never see the girl again because they ghost me, so I feel like if I get them over and I can't complete my mission, the girl's gone forever.

Girl #1 kind of soft ghosted me. Girl #3 however, videocalled me twice while I was out on a date with another girl, luckily I turned off my zalo Banana I think she's put me into the potential bf category.
02-24-2019 11:29 PM
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destiny Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
(02-24-2019 07:00 PM)Sex Machine Wrote:  Destiny
This has worked for me. Instead of a movie, put sensual music on or any seductive music in your library, and build comfort by talking to her, getting to know each other more. Then tell the girl you want to teach her some basic dance moves, since she likes you already she won't say no. This will help break the touch barrier faster and get you both comfortable with touching.

Get her hands, stand her up and start showing her your moves and twirling her, you have to touch her and involve her in your moves. Observe her body language, the music and dancing should put her in a jolly mood, move her closer to you and first kiss her on the lips, if she is receptive dance with her some more, and as she is laughing and having a good time go for make out. If she is receptive, kiss her neck, softly pulling her hair back if you need to to reveal her neck. As she is turned on you can escalate further.

Shit, I should have just stuck with the sensual music I had playing in the background. I usually have it on during lunch/dinner but then I turn it off when we watch a movie.
02-24-2019 11:31 PM
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whiteknightrises Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Physical escalation woes when a girl is back at my place
I didn't see anything about alcohol

1. Always have alcohol stocked - beer, wine, vodka and a mixer
- Almost every girl will drink one of those 3 things
- Almost every girl will be 80% more DTF after drinking 2+ of any of those things
- If the girl doesn't drink, you probably aren't getting laid in any reasonable timeframe (to me that is that day/night - I almost never go on 2nd dates with chicks, not cuz I'm some "super alfa pick up gangsta" but because I legitimately don't care enough about most girls to do that)

2. Offer/make drinks once you get inside

After that do what you gotta do - put on mood music, talk, drink, touch, etc.

You aren't getting laid because you still believe in "game".

Here's how I went from being a 21-year-old, videogame-addicted, Asian virgin to banging too many girls to count (no PUA bs):

https://whiteknightrises.com/start-here

BTC: 1A5WUGDNGnsxGJ62CXadV6T2oapKfFu4T3
ETH: 0x9019d135dD1FFA06f0CC53C5942cBce806a943dd

(If I miss your reply PM me)
03-07-2019 03:14 PM
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