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Lost my swagger after breakup
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Savonarola Offline

Posts: 314
Joined: Dec 2016
Post: #26
RE: Lost my swagger after breakup
(03-15-2019 11:40 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  
(03-15-2019 09:47 AM)Savonarola Wrote:  
(03-11-2019 11:46 AM)griffinmill Wrote:  I went through a bad breakup last year. The relationship with this girl was only around 4 months, but dealing with her, and the aftermath of the breakup, left me with anxiety and in floods of tears for several long months in 2018. I lost the first half of that year. I've never ever in all of my 40 years reacted this way to a girl before, even with my LTR of 7 years. It truly was something that scared the shit out of me. She had a personality disorder and she infected me like a virus.

The good news is, it all passes. No matter how bad it is now. Takes time, sometimes lots of time, but I've went from thinking all day every day about this girl, to now thinking of her occasionally and with little emotion. It gets better. Until then, hit the gym, hang out with your friends, and bang other girls.

Also, one word of advice - do not do not do not look at her social media.

The ones with personality disorders are really, really good at getting inside your head.
I was wrapped up with a BPD girl for about 5-6 months who worked me over the same way, back when I was 27. That was the last girl I ever cried over (just once).

It took a while to forget about her. About 2 years. I was obv dating others but she was still living rent-free in the back of my mind.
This chick was totally nutso. Great in the sack.

Searing experiences with a psychotic woman make you less romantic, more killer, as you go thru life. After my divorce from another emotionally dysregulated woman, I'm now like a cast-iron pan. No way will I ever "fall in love" (whatever that means) with a woman again. It's been burned out of me.

On the positive side, getting scorched makes it easier to keep a woman or two on the side. You just don't care about any of them that much.

Thankfully we can count ourselves as strong men, because while it sucked at the time, it passed, and we were able to move on. I was in an emotional quagmire for 6 months that I was terrified I'd never come out of. There was anxiety, depression, then stomach issues. It all passed. Some guys who get involved with these chicks will not be so lucky. I had to pull myself away from this girl and force myself to stay away even while she begged me to return. Just like your experience, she lived rent free in my head even while I was out banging other chicks. I'm also much more discerning now. Don't get emotionally involved so quickly, and be aware of the red flags.

I felt that way for a couple weeks, but then was back to normal. Still, BPD girl lingered in my hindbrain for a while.
Then I met my now ex-wife, who was also emotionally dysregulated, but in a narcissistic way. I was with her for 7 years total, and as a result she also stuck around in my head for quite a while after the inevitable breakup.
Agreed that weak men get chewed up and spit out by maneaters like these. You and I are very resilient, but not all men are.
(This post was last modified: 03-15-2019 12:40 PM by Savonarola.)
03-15-2019 12:39 PM
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