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How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
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sterling_archer Offline
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Post: #1
How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
I don't post in this part of forum because all questions I have or I ever had regarding game were already answered here numerous times, but this topic is something I didn't come across yet (maybe it was before?) and it is something I am interested in. Maybe others will also be interested.

Me and my two friends went to a local pub. New waitress was working and I decided to spit some game because, yeah, WB. It was all fine and when I am a little tipsy my game changes into being a bit ballsy, but not over the top and outrageous, enough to keep girls interested and a bit entertained (even though I will always avoid being complete clown and entertainer).

Both of my friends are in LTRs and one of them is more handsome than me (#nohomo). They got more drunk and the handsome one decided to get into race too. Waitress joined us at the bar and my two friends excluded me from conversation for a couple of mins or so, so I got up and positioned myself between them and waitress. It was the only normal thing to do on a bar, because all know 4 people in one line in front of a bar can't normally talk. I continued gaming, exchanged instagram with her but my friend didn't back off a bit.

Some friends of waitress arrived and sat on other side of bar and she went to them and it happened that she was basically between them and my friend. Me and other friend continued talking and so they did too. Anyway, my friend decided we should go home but my other friend said he will stay a bit and me and friend went away.
We talked a bit later, when he got home and he said that he stayed to practice game and that he went home shortly, didn't exchange any contact with her and will not pursue her further.

I am inclined to believe him but I will be honest with you guys, I was jealous.
It seemed bro code wasn't in consideration that day and that is, coupled with the fact guy has a GF, hit me most. I don't judge people who are in LTRs and decide to have something on the side, but he is my friend, knows what I am currently looking for, he sees that me and waitress hit it off a bit and still decides to enter the race. Also, since he is better looking, to be honest, he could have win her over, without much game and yes, I am becoming lately a bit more black pilled, because I am seeing all around me guys with little or no game getting hot chicks, just because of their looks. That being said, I will never stop gaming and I am not exiting the race.

I know about male competitiveness and how this is normal, but when it comes to be in a practice, things are definitely felt. Yeah, I know I sound whiny and what not, but I am just honest here with y'all.

Do you encounter situations like these in your life and how do you deal with them?
04-12-2019 01:22 AM
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nirala Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
I personally have never encountered the friend cockblock situation. Do you think the heavy drinking impaired your friend's judgement? I have an unspoken dibs rule with my friends. With a new girl, if I show interest first, then they all back off, and vice versa.

Everyone in the forum acknowledges the looks factor but game is more important because it works for everyone. And to be fair, very few men out there are handsome enough to have a significant advantage with women. If you look like Henry Cavill, good for you. Us lesser mortals gotta rely on game.
04-12-2019 02:01 AM
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sterling_archer
sterling_archer Offline
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 02:01 AM)nirala Wrote:  I personally have never encountered the friend cockblock situation. Do you think the heavy drinking impaired your friend's judgement? I have an unspoken dibs rule with my friends. With a new girl, if I show interest first, then they all back off, and vice versa.

You ask a good question here and I am not sure what to tell you. I think it might be, but look, waitress joined us, drank a bit with us and we all joked and messed around so one thing led to another, both of us got a bit of a boost in confidence and I think it's hard for everyone in that situation to back off.

Quote:Everyone in the forum acknowledges the looks factor but game is more important because it works for everyone. And to be fair, very few men out there are handsome enough to have a significant advantage with women. If you look like Henry Cavill, good for you. Us lesser mortals gotta rely on game.

Fair point. But honestly, I see this all the time here around me. Some girl (friend or a friend of a friend, sister, cousin, whatever) tells me how she or some other girl entered into relationship with a guy and they describe their dates and you can clearly see how they don't have any game whatsoever. Simply, they are handsome, ask a girl out for a drink, they have a lousy date according to Game "rules" but girl never blows them off and continues to hang with them a couple of more times, they kiss and bang and rest is like they say history.[/quote]
04-12-2019 02:24 AM
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subterfuge
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Post: #4
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
Speak to him but there's plenty of fish in the sea. Perhaps he just wanted to flex and feel desired (consequence of a relationship).

Focus on having fun and busting her balls collectively as opposed to competing.
04-12-2019 04:03 AM
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sterling_archer Offline
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 04:03 AM)Noir Wrote:  Focus on having fun and busting her balls collectively as opposed to competing.

Actually that was basically how it started and during most of conversation, then it became a little competative.

Btw, got her number hour ago and we will meet next week when she will know which day she is free in afternoon.
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 04:20 AM by sterling_archer.)
04-12-2019 04:20 AM
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subterfuge Online
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
I don't really have advice, but i'm curious how you opened her and 'gamed' her. Try to be detailed. I'm just curious tbh as have never really attempted to game a waitress, bar girl etc and am trying to picture it without it looking a bit awkward lol

In terms of jealous/competing, yeah i've been there. I have one exceptionally handsome wing who has a super serious GF and kids, but he's that handsome that even his lack of game doesn't matter. He's never approached a girl in his life from memory. Girls literally throw themselves at him though, lol. It's nuts.

I wrote an FR once about a time I opened some hot girl and it was going great and she even took me to the bar to buy ME a drink lol. My handsome friend then walked in and walked up to me just to say 'hi' to me(I don't think he purposely meant to ruin my chances at all. He's given me his 'cast off's' before when it comes to girls on nights out lol) and from that second, the girls jaw dropped and she was just all over him! Nothing I done could get her attention back on me. It was a losing battle! She went on to offer him sex which he turned down (unless she would bang me too, lol). Didn't happen, though.

My journal : https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57783.html
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 04:44 AM by subterfuge.)
04-12-2019 04:41 AM
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sterling_archer Offline
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 04:41 AM)subterfuge Wrote:  I don't really have advice, but i'm curious how you opened her and 'gamed' her. Try to be detailed. I'm just curious tbh as have never really attempted to game a waitress, bar girl etc and am trying to picture it without it looking a bit awkward lol

I have limited experiences with waitresses but here is what I observed.

In majority of cases you are looking at a slow cooking game. You will have to go to particular establishment for some time and just talk. You game her but low key, no asshole game, acting douchy or what not, you are just being a normal and interesting dude. During these interactions you can subtly inspect terrain if she has a boyfriend, her ideas, desires, which you will use on your date with her. When you will feel it's right, you get her number when you go home. When you get number you proceed further as usual.

What can happen is that she can flake date, avoids reply or what not. It's not a big deal. If you go there again, you just say hello as usual but not acknowledge your online interaction. You just shrug it off as her loss and move on. It is not classic "don't shit where you eat" situation.

Btw, waitress from story case is a bit different, it all happened at once and fast, but this is maybe rare case, I am not sure.
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 05:29 AM by sterling_archer.)
04-12-2019 05:26 AM
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sebip Offline
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Post: #8
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
I am quite familiar with this type of scenario. In my case, I have a baby face and I look very young and "sweet" in girls eyes. So sometimes when I go out with my friends, I encounter some situations where one of my friends want to get with a girl, and sometimes often the girl bails on them when they see me. Now I am not a model, and this doesn't happen on a regularly basis, but sometimes it happens, and I've experienced the opposite as well. What I always do is refuse the girl even if she is a 10, because to be honest I care more about my friendship, than a bang, and your friends will appreciate you more for that.

My advice to you would be to choose your friends carefully, and have a talk with them, pointing the obvious that your friendship should be more important than a girl. Some guys have huge egos when it comes to girl, and it's really hard for them to even aknowledge it.
04-12-2019 06:02 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
Your case is interesting, for example I am that young looking and "sweet" guy but guys around me referred to as handsome always have chiseled face and either five o clock shadow or short trimmed beards. Maybe this is because you are not from Slavic country so you have different views on what means to be handsome.
04-12-2019 06:16 AM
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Post: #10
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 06:16 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Your case is interesting, for example I am that young looking and "sweet" guy but guys around me referred to as handsome always have chiseled face and either five o clock shadow or short trimmed beards. Maybe this is because you are not from Slavic country so you have different views on what means to be handsome.

Yes, I can only speak from experience, and after all it really depends on the location. In some locations girls prefer the "young and sweet" type, in other locations they prefer more the "hard type and very masculine" looking type of guys.

I don't like growing a beard, and when I'm shaved I look like a teen and getting asked for my id everywhere I go. I am in my mid twenties, though.
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 06:23 AM by sebip.)
04-12-2019 06:22 AM
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Post: #11
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 06:22 AM)sebip Wrote:  I don't like growing a beard, and when I'm shaved I look like a teen and getting asked for my id everywhere I go. I am in my mid twenties, though.

Same story with me, except I can't grow a proper beard hahah.
04-12-2019 06:54 AM
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Cobra Offline
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Post: #12
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
No way to avoid this shit with friends when you go out, unless, like the other poster said, have an unwritten rule with these so called "friends" beforehand.

It's funny that for me it was much easier to manage this with my friends off the forum than the ones I have known for several years.

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04-12-2019 07:11 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 01:22 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  Do you encounter situations like these in your life and how do you deal with them?

I do.

I let the better man win.

And it doesn't matter if my competitor's engaged/married/single. Because all is fair in love and war.
04-12-2019 09:26 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 07:11 AM)Cobra Wrote:  It's funny that for me it was much easier to manage this with my friends off the forum than the ones I have known for several years.

That is interesting. Are your long known friends game aware and red pilled? Would you say that game awareness and whole red pill philosophy is what makes a man to have a better bro code than those who are not into all this?
04-12-2019 09:56 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
I'd personally love to go out with a few game aware dudes although I don't really have any of those. Could be (part of the reason) why I done so well when I was travelling last week. The american dudes who I gamed with were just complete naturals (see my Budapest FR in my journal if you haven't lol), and we just seemed to help each other pull rather than kind of 'compete' which I feel naturally happens with most of my friends.

My journal : https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57783.html
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 10:08 AM by subterfuge.)
04-12-2019 10:07 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
Simple situation.

Literally, have 0 friends who do this now. I've had it happen to me before with a couple of my friends but you lay down ground rules. Once you lay down ground rules, they shouldn't pull any bullshit like that again. If they break those rules, let them know and if they don't care, cut contact with them. It shows they don't respect you and they're untrustworthy.
04-12-2019 10:14 AM
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Rocha Online
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
Too much pedestalizing.

If I see myself in a situation where 3 guys are around one girl, normally I back off and do other thing, like talking to somebody else (even if it was me who opened the girl), and let the other 2 guys "fight" each other for her attention.

Normally she comes back to me later... It can be see as a risk, but I for sure take it, rarely happens any of the guys getting lucky with her that night.

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04-12-2019 10:19 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 10:19 AM)Rocha Wrote:  Normally she comes back to me later... It can be see as a risk, but I for sure take it, rarely happens any of the guys getting lucky with her that night.

Yeah that wasn't the idea yesterday, I just wanted to get a bit familiar to her, display my personality a bit, get to know her a little so I could get her number later over instagram. Basically everything worked since we will see each other next week.
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 11:07 AM by sterling_archer.)
04-12-2019 11:07 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 11:07 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  
(04-12-2019 10:19 AM)Rocha Wrote:  Normally she comes back to me later... It can be see as a risk, but I for sure take it, rarely happens any of the guys getting lucky with her that night.

Yeah that wasn't the idea yesterday, I just wanted to get a bit familiar to her, display my personality a bit, get to know her a little so I could get her number later over instagram. Basically everything worked since we will see each other next week.

But one thing I forgot to mention. Everyone here and there behaves wrongly. And regarding guys who go for girls I open and do all the work... First time I warn and forgive, second time I might or might not forgive, depends on the guy. At the 3d time he is out, does not go out with me anymore.

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(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 11:54 AM by Rocha.)
04-12-2019 11:53 AM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
(04-12-2019 01:22 AM)sterling_archer Wrote:  I don't post in this part of forum because all questions I have or I ever had regarding game were already answered here numerous times, but this topic is something I didn't come across yet (maybe it was before?) and it is something I am interested in. Maybe others will also be interested.

Me and my two friends went to a local pub. New waitress was working and I decided to spit some game because, yeah, WB. It was all fine and when I am a little tipsy my game changes into being a bit ballsy, but not over the top and outrageous, enough to keep girls interested and a bit entertained (even though I will always avoid being complete clown and entertainer).

Both of my friends are in LTRs and one of them is more handsome than me (#nohomo). They got more drunk and the handsome one decided to get into race too. Waitress joined us at the bar and my two friends excluded me from conversation for a couple of mins or so, so I got up and positioned myself between them and waitress. It was the only normal thing to do on a bar, because all know 4 people in one line in front of a bar can't normally talk. I continued gaming, exchanged instagram with her but my friend didn't back off a bit.

Some friends of waitress arrived and sat on other side of bar and she went to them and it happened that she was basically between them and my friend. Me and other friend continued talking and so they did too. Anyway, my friend decided we should go home but my other friend said he will stay a bit and me and friend went away.
We talked a bit later, when he got home and he said that he stayed to practice game and that he went home shortly, didn't exchange any contact with her and will not pursue her further.

I am inclined to believe him but I will be honest with you guys, I was jealous.
It seemed bro code wasn't in consideration that day and that is, coupled with the fact guy has a GF, hit me most. I don't judge people who are in LTRs and decide to have something on the side, but he is my friend, knows what I am currently looking for, he sees that me and waitress hit it off a bit and still decides to enter the race. Also, since he is better looking, to be honest, he could have win her over, without much game and yes, I am becoming lately a bit more black pilled, because I am seeing all around me guys with little or no game getting hot chicks, just because of their looks. That being said, I will never stop gaming and I am not exiting the race.

I know about male competitiveness and how this is normal, but when it comes to be in a practice, things are definitely felt. Yeah, I know I sound whiny and what not, but I am just honest here with y'all.

Do you encounter situations like these in your life and how do you deal with them?

Never go out gaming with non-gaming friends UNLESS its situational gaming, meaning an unexpected opportunity pops up.

If you are going out gaming and must go with someone take a gaming wing or two, never a layman.

Yes I have had that experience. The first couple of times the reaction of laymen will be shock and awe..especially if you pull in a situation that most couldn't. Like Hooters for example. Most Hooters are like strip clubs without the naked titties. Teasin' but no pleasin'.

The shock and awe turns to resentment when you pull some chick they wanted and failed to get OR my personal favorite, when you've already GOTTEN the chick they wanted.

Example
A couple of guys from the same building I worked at tried to game two chicks at a nearby eatery, both of whom I had already pulled and banged.

Not a threesome situation. The girls knew each other but they weren't BFFSs or anything.

Both of them quickly made it clear they preferred to hang out with me and after the two guys wouldn't quit, both made it clear they both KNEW me in the biblical sense.

One guy took it in stride. The other commenced to clearly but politely hating my guts and I'm sure had we worked at the same place instead of just the same building, if he could have had some means to directly retaliate, I have no doubt he would have and if he would have been my boss....
04-12-2019 12:19 PM
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
@Darth
This was an unexpected opportunity for me, but I understand what you mean in the rest of your post.
04-12-2019 12:56 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
I've dealt with worse and I've dealt with better. I'll talk about them respectively.

Example 1:

I used to be friends with this guy I met in the army through my roommate. We were in different units but stationed at the same shitty post. Met him September 2016. He was funny, likeable, at first. But he had a terribe habit of getting too drunk to the point I had to take care of him or someone else did. Still, I still hung out with him a few times my roommate until April 2017, the moment he had tried to cockblock me. I had heard stories from my roommate about our mutual buddy cockblocking him, but I guess I thought maybe it was just small potatoes since they had remained friends. We'll call this friend George.

We went to a small pool-hall type biker bar called The Spot. We were a group of four, my roommate, our (former) mutual friend George, and a new guy in my unit. After 20 minutes of chatting and playing pool, George spots a cute redhead who was skinny and had a nice ass. They start to chat and play a game of pool. After only one game, he whips out her phone and tries to get her number. We can all see her mouth the words, "I don't give my number out to people I just met". He walks back to the group and mutters something like, "she's impossible anyway" or "she's not here to meet dudes". To me, he swung and missed. It was clear he got shot down.

So when I noticed her giving me eyes, I didn't hesitate to walk up there and play a game with her. One game turned into three as our conversation consisted mostly of us giving each other increasingly flirty glances and me staring at her ass through he reflection on the mirror. At this point, George is watching and unhappy and walks up to me saying, "Dude we gotta go!". I'm not in a rush and in fact I am the DD, but I didn't say anything because he wanted to go to "Zydeco". And it just so happened that the cute redhead whispered into my ear that she had to leave with her friends to Zydeco, but maybe come see me if you want. So we all left to this shitty dancehall type bar. Sure enough she was there, but she was dancing with friends so I focused on playing pool with my buddies. But then she drunkenly finds me, separates me from the group and we chat for what feels like only 5 minutes but probably was closer to half an hour. Out of seemingly nowhere, George comes to me saying, "Geomann180, we gotta go. I'm gonna give you 5 minutes." I tell him to fuck off for a minute and the redhead without skipping a beat asks me for my phone, has me unlock it, and then types her name and number in my phone. "Do you have any other Courtney's in your phone?". I did, so she included a last name. Then I hugged her and left. I saw her a few times afterwards but it didn't last for reasons unrelated to the circumstances of how we met.

The way I saw it, George and I were acquaintances more than friends, so I didn't feel like I was obligated to play by gentlemen's rules. It's just my style. I felt like I gave him wide enough berth to crash and burn before I even talked to the girl. I think half the reason he knew what was going on his state was because my roomate kept stirring the pot, "Hey George, he's stealing your girl." I stopped hanging out with George after this night because the juice just wasn't worth the squeeze and this night was just one thing among many that led me to make that decision. Mostly I don't like drinking with belligerent drunks, especially if I feel like their antics might have influence on the terms of my employment the next day, let alone theirs.

_________________________________________________
Example 2:

My bestfriend and I went out in March this year. Went to a popular bar in the nearby area that even has Karaoke but struck out and picked the wrong night. Nevertheless we decided to see if we couldn't still get into trouble. We talked to a few girls who didn't give us much attention, briefly entertained slightly older ladies, one of whom was married, until we found two girls and one guy. Both girls were attractive. He chose the blond and I chose the Brunette. The Brunette was dating the guy and I entertained both of them while my buddy talked to his girl, who I think doesn't even know my name. Or that's the only thing she knows about me. Can't remember. We left the bar, me with nothing and him with the blond's number. But we both had a good time.

Why? Several reasons. Aside from the bias of him being my best friend, we worked out several important things early on in the friendship.

1. For the most part we both have a different taste in girls. So we rarely ever go for the same girl.
2. We both let each other know who we want before we engage.
3. Whoever talks first (say it's spur of the moment), gets first pick
4. Ultimately, we try to be "beta" to each other. Sometimes that means jumping on a grenade. Sometimes that means one guy will duck out if he sees the other guy getting somewhere. Sometimes one of us will ditch a girl he's making progress with to hang out with his buddy. Because his friendship is more important than any broad I'd ever chat up.
5. If we got an issue, we tell the other guy behind closed doors and work it out there.
6. If someone gets a girls number and makes progress, that girl is pretty much invisible to the other guy
7. If in a relationship, we'll try to wing one another unless otherwise stated (it goes without saying, we don't report what happens to any lady friends)

Because of these rough guidelines (hey, we are human after all), we've remained good friends and avoided a lot of common pitfalls. I'm sure I may have accidentally ruined a set for him, and him me, but we both know the intentions behind things and have procedures in place to avoid them in the first place. We'll have been good friends for 8 years this August.
___________________________________

TL: DR I recounted these two different events to give context to the advice I'm giving you.

That is, try to develop some guidelines before you go out. No one's a mind reader, so if your buddy has a problem, it's on him to tell you. If he wanted to try for this waitress, he should have told you at some point. Though if you got there first, it's rude of him to butt in even if he thought he had a better chance than you did. Luckily, your friend is a guy. So the easiest way to fix an issue like this is to just be straight with him. Find sometime that's not inconvenient and tell him your problem. Offer a solution or two, "Hey I don't mind you jumping in, just tell me before hand so we both know it's may the best man win rules and not you stepping on my toes".

If you can't talk to this guy about these sort of things, then I suggest you just hang out with him outside the bar scene. Obviously I don't know the extent of your friendship or the various idiosyncracies that comprise it, so do what makes the most sense to you.

Hope this helps.

G
(This post was last modified: 04-12-2019 04:04 PM by Geomann180.)
04-12-2019 04:02 PM
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sterling_archer Offline
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Post: #23
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
You gave a good advice that helped me put things into perspective a bit more. Even though my friend and I talked about this event day after and I explained to him my viewpoints, I think I want to do it in person also, like "last time we talk about this but here is what I want".
(This post was last modified: 04-13-2019 01:29 AM by sterling_archer.)
04-13-2019 01:29 AM
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Beirut Online
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Post: #24
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
Friends don't hit on their friend's target.

But best friends fuck her and show you the sex tape the next day while rubbing it in your face.

Beirut
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04-13-2019 06:54 AM
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Incubus Offline
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Post: #25
RE: How to deal with jealousy and competing friends in Game?
Reminds me of my buddies (years ago)

Any bar or social gathering I'd do the work getting the girl(s) and my buddies would "in their minds do clean up" it got annoying particularly when they would run me down to the girl I just "warmed up"

Later whenever I had a LTR the same buddies would hit on the girl friends I was going out with.

One night I had a chat with my buddies it went like this:

Me> Hey man show me a little respect.
Buddy 1> your just a male slut.
Buddy 2> "nods" drinks his beer

I could not refute that kind of logic...and we carried on into the evening.

Too Add
I would go through 2 sets of buddies over the course of a week. Begging wingmen to go out is tough when they don't get any girl excitement (the guys with girlfriends..tougher) So I just learned to make sure we all stuck together, partied,had a good time and let the girl stuff work itself out but I wasn't going to get bent over girl indulgent buddies ...there is always a next night different venue I wanted to go to.
Hate to say it but a lot of my friends girlfriends or wives where my cast offs.....which kind of ended friendships on it's own.

Moral of the story.....if there is one waitress and 3 thirsty guys and you don't go out a lot expect someone to be sniffing your lunch. Try to go out more often and where there is more girls for everybody.

............LIFE isn't a DRESS REHEARSAL.........
(This post was last modified: 04-13-2019 07:35 PM by Incubus.)
04-13-2019 06:55 PM
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