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How to deal with a social circle from a shitty culture when married?
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BlueMark Offline
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Post: #1
How to deal with a social circle from a shitty culture when married?
I was originally going to post this in Strikeback's engagement post but didn't want to derail it, so I am starting a separate thread.

(04-12-2019 07:47 AM)StrikeBack Wrote:  Thanks mate Smile that's my goal for sharing our story here, just to show that it's not all doom and gloom, and you can create a good life with a decent woman even in this day and age.

Yeah she has Instagram accounts: one for her home business selling products she makes, and one to share the occasional photos of her cooking, cleaning or sewing. She follows other home makers, women's fitness, arts and crafts. We use social media but don't touch the attention whoring side of it.

I have a decent job and we are minimalists, we don't really spend that much. That's how we can afford to have her be a home maker.

Her closest friends are a mix of Christian, Buddhist and agnostic, but all feminine and married or in LTR. She has never had a male friend and doesn't believe it's appropriate to have one. She actually has made better friends since meeting me. Her very Christian friends from when she was younger are too Churchian for our liking.

I'm guessing that Strikeback's wife had made new friends through his social circles.

I'm not married but it's something I need to start considering as I enter my mid 30s. I just turned 34.

I am wondering what kind of social circles I will have if I got married. Many of my long time friends back home are too plugged into the SJW matrix and it gets reflected in their lifestyles. I don't mean that they are overtly SJW but that it really permeates the culture where I am from (heavily left leaning American city).

So if I were to get married, I'd be worried about my future wife being exposed to that culture through my friends, and being corrupted. But at the same time, I still would want to have some kind of social circles when married, that doesn't involve hanging out with a PUA crew.

Some examples of my friends who are married or in LTR:
- one guy married a lawyer and hasn't attend social events with her.
- one guy married his wife when she was early 30s and didn't push her to have kids even though he wanted to have kids. Let her get fat too.
- one guy married a decent woman but still let her dictate not having any more kids after the first.
- one guy married his girlfriend who had previously cheated on him.
- a few more are dating or married to obese women.
- most of these are power couple relationships where both have high achieving careers. I know very few married couples where the wife is a stay at home mom.

My friends are all around my age but only two have kids, and one of them was an accidental pregnancy.

These guys are not losers who lived in their mothers' basements until they got married. They're talented, intelligent, hard working individuals with six figure salaries. Some are tall and athletic too. I'm listing all these examples to give you an idea of the zeitgeist of where I come from. Nobody I know sees anything wrong with these lifestyles.

This will not be an issue for me in the short term but I do see the need to start building up new circles ahead of time. I can't just hang with PUA crews when I'm married. I don't live in my hometown anymore, and could possibly live here long term even if married, but I've been so consumed with work the past several months that I haven't had any time to build a new social network.

Here are some questions for those of you who are married:
(1) am I right to be concerned about this in advance?
(2) should I avoid going back to my home town? Upsides include parents being there to support me and and very good job opportunities (but I already make good enough money). Downsides are the feminist/PC/SJW culture as embodied by my friends, and terrible divorce laws.
(3) any tips on building a social circle from where I am currently at (busy professional living in a new city) would be appreciated. Meeting people through work is an option. There are plenty of people I can meet socially whom I will never work with, but keep in mind that my company culture is very SJW too.

I'm not going to be married for at least a few years, but given the poor shape of my social circles, it makes sense to start preparing a social foundation.

Member of the Japanese MILF hunters club

"Man will always be man. There is no new man. We worked so hard to create a society that was equal, where there'd be nothing to envy your neighbour. But ... there will always be rich and poor. Rich in gifts, poor in gifts. Rich in love, poor in love." Danilov, Enemy at the Gates
(This post was last modified: 04-14-2019 12:26 AM by BlueMark.)
04-14-2019 12:09 AM
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SW15 Offline
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Joined: Mar 2019
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Post: #2
RE: How to deal with a social circle from a shitty culture when married?
(04-14-2019 12:09 AM)BlueMark Wrote:  Here are some questions for those of you who are married:
(1) am I right to be concerned about this in advance?
(2) should I avoid going back to my home town? Upsides include parents being there to support me and and very good job opportunities (but I already make good enough money). Downsides are the feminist/PC/SJW culture as embodied by my friends, and terrible divorce laws.
(3) any tips on building a social circle from where I am currently at (busy professional living in a new city) would be appreciated. Meeting people through work is an option. There are plenty of people I can meet socially whom I will never work with, but keep in mind that my company culture is very SJW too.

I'm not going to be married for at least a few years, but given the poor shape of my social circles, it makes sense to start preparing a social foundation.

I am not married but around the same age (35). I live in a major U.S. city that votes 2-1 Democratic. The suburbs of this city are red, but since I live in the central city and do most of my mating in the city, I have a lot of exposure to left ideology. I have to deal with social circle stuff as well.

First off, it's right to be concerned about this stuff. In my specific case, I've let my social circle slip since age 30-31. A few friends moved away, and I have never bothered to replace them. Since turning 18, there has never been a time where I had a social circle that was worthy of a large time investment. Most social circles are pretty lousy. It's a better time investment to be focused on game. With good game, social circle becomes irrelevant. And game does not end once a relationship has been established. Retention is also a part of game.

If you happen to be in a longer relationship, you don't have to go to these meaningless social functions. Most social functions are boring. The focus should be the two of you and keeping a healthy sex life.

I would avoid going back to the city where you spend your formative years. If you had remained in that city from ages 18-34, you'd have an ok social life but since you haven't, I would say staying in your current city is better. You are on this forum, so you are game aware, and your job in the current city is fine. Uprooting your life right now doesn't seem to make a lot of sense.

Are there any sports that you have had a history with playing? You can meet people through sports leagues. For me, tennis has been that sport. I started playing tennis before puberty, so I had a solid base of hours already in before adulthood and more responsibilities. I don't know if I would recommend taking on a new sport at this time, because I'm not sure that you have enough hours available to get good at it and really enjoy it. Golf is another good one for meeting people. Racquetball, hunting, and fishing are some other options.
04-14-2019 09:19 AM
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