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Damage control
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #1
Damage control
So I took a girl home from a bar and banged her in the bathroom while my friend and her friend was in the other room Angel

Since then we have had sex three times. Two days ago she asked me what I was doing and I said I was going to a bar to meet my friend. Then she didn't want to meet on the day we had talked about meeting. Now I believe I might have pushed her away because we have been exchanging hearts and love emoticons and she believes, rightfully, that I went to the bar to pickup some other girl.

What can I say to her?
04-14-2019 04:41 AM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Damage control
Don't say anything.
You don't owe her any answers because shes not your girlfriend.
If she asks what you're doing on a day you dont have plans to meet up with then it's not any of her business. In the future just answer "my friend is coming over to watch the game". If/when you go out to the bar, and run into her, just say he got hungry and we went eat and met up with some people we know from school/work/sports club.


However, if you are interested in keeping her around as a fuck buddy/friends with benefits situation then i suggest you meet her in person and establish some ground rules and curb expectations if she thinks because you're fucking she gets exclusive access to your dick.

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04-14-2019 05:31 AM
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Damage control
Thanks.
04-14-2019 06:53 AM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Damage control
So, what happened?

G
04-17-2019 01:00 PM
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Damage control
She messaged me and we are meeting on Friday like nothing happened.
04-17-2019 02:29 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Damage control
Keep us posted.

G
04-17-2019 02:46 PM
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Damage control
Ok
04-17-2019 03:00 PM
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Damage control
Earlier in the week she suggested we meet on Friday. We sent some messages back and forth and then on Friday I asked if she wanted to watch a movie at my place. She said maybe. I said ok and then she didn't say anything so there was no meetup.

Now I'm thinking it was a trap to see if I have other things to do a Friday evening and fear it decreased the attraction, it certainly feels so. Knew I should have said let's reschedule to another day but gave in to old way of thinking. Next time I will.
04-20-2019 12:40 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Damage control
Could you give an example of text exchanges/time between texts?

G
04-21-2019 09:54 PM
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Illusionist Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Damage control
Seems more the case that she's upset you're still going out without her. You probably need to set expectations as Kinjutsu said if you still want to keep in contact with her.
Yesterday 03:17 AM
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Damage control
Geomann180 I'll give examples later don't have time right now.

Today this conversation transpired:

Her: hi
Me: Hi <name>
Her: what's up
Me: out in the sun. what about you?
Her: nothing. home.
Me: come have dinner tonight.
Her: what time?
Me: 6pm
Her: okey maybe we meet hehe razz

What would you respond to that? Now it's 5:50 pm.
Yesterday 10:50 AM
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heavy Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Damage control
Sounds like...You won the upper hand when you banged her so quickly. You continue winning with your actions going out without her.

The next step is for her to know you still want her. This is a universal need for women.

She questions that you still want her when you go out without her.
She questions that you still want her when she prompts the text exchange.
She questions that you still want her when she has to initiate any exchange.

So, do you still want her around? Then let her be the woman she wants and don't make her initiate. Or treat her as if you don't care and are just interested in banging chicks, and she'll only stick around a few weeks. Up to you.

Most women will only stick around so long being an occasional accessory.
(I'm speaking from experience. I used to want girls to stick around, but also be single. In my early days I kept a girl around for a year. Now I know, it really is up to you how you want to frame the relationship. It's up to her to agree to it or not.)

Those who make peaceful impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.
(This post was last modified: Yesterday 11:31 AM by heavy.)
Yesterday 11:25 AM
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Phanes Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Damage control
(04-21-2019 09:54 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  Could you give an example of text exchanges/time between texts?

G

13th of april 11:52
Me: good morning
her: good morning
Me: how are you?
her: good
me: thumbs up. What are you doing?
her:nothing
me: do you want to meet later?
her:you want meet me?
me:Yes (in mongolian, she is mongolian)
her:haha okey
me:9pm?
her: mmm maybe
tounge sticking out emoji
12:11
me:ok talk to you later tounge sticking out emoji
12:45
her: okey
13:20
her: today you ask job?
me: you said you were not interested in job
her: not for me I have a job it is my mom who need job
15:24
me: ok
her:thanks
16:30
me: do you want to have dinner at 6 pm?
her: mmm maybe hehe
me: ok

14th april
18:38
her: hej what's up
19:09
me: hey, I'm taking a walk
her:aha

20:18
me: Do you want to meet and watch a movie?
her:next friday I no work, we meet friday?
me:ok kissing emoji
her: bear doing thumgs up

22:51
me:thumbs up

23:25
her: love emote
me: heart emote
her: love emote

23:44
me: laughing emote, good night
her: okey good night



(Yesterday 11:25 AM)heavy Wrote:  Sounds like...You won the upper hand when you banged her so quickly. You continue winning with your actions going out without her.

The next step is for her to know you still want her. This is a universal need for women.

She questions that you still want her when you go out without her.
She questions that you still want her when she prompts the text exchange.
She questions that you still want her when she has to initiate any exchange.

So, do you still want her around? Then let her be the woman she wants and don't make her initiate. Or treat her as if you don't care and are just interested in banging chicks, and she'll only stick around a few weeks. Up to you.

Most women will only stick around so long being an occasional accessory.
(I'm speaking from experience. I used to want girls to stick around, but also be single. In my early days I kept a girl around for a year. Now I know, it really is up to you how you want to frame the relationship. It's up to her to agree to it or not.)

Thank you for your reply.

How do I let her know I still want her?
Yesterday 12:55 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Damage control
^Pretty sparse texting. Sounds like there's a communication barrier as she appears to text only a small bit because she doesn't understand English well or is embarrassed by her own. Or she's one of those girls who doesn't like to talk much. You need to do more talking, which is better if you can get her on the phone rather than text.

Stop asking her if she wants to meet. Decide on something you want to do and then invite her along. Tell her to come with you.

"I'm gonna sing Karaoke tonight. Come with me."

"Ok, when?"

"Meet me at X location and at X time"

Then if she shows up, have a good time, try to kiss her or at least make some progress to see if you actually have chemistry. If she doesn't, enjoy the activity you were gonna do anyway, and try no more than one or two times more to invite her out somewhere. If you can, pick someplace close by her so it's easy logistics for her. With Asian girls, especially ones who seem to not be so talkative, you gotta do more leg work and get things moving yourself. They're not as forward as...American girls, for example.

Also, when texting, take more initiative to keep the conversation going. When she asked you what you were up to and you said you were taking a walk, she replied, "Aha" and then you left it. Why didn't you ask her what she was doing? What she was up to? It looks to me you're trying not to be too eager or aloof through text, which is commonly advised when texting American girls. But in this case, it probably just looks like you're not that interested, to her. Don't expect her as a girl to reach out to you - as long as she keeps responding when you text her, you're doing fine. Also when she sent the heart emotes, and you took 20 minutes to say good night, you coulda just sent it right after the heart emotes. It's a small thing but it looks strange if you don't reply right away to certain things which is a simple way for me to explain that right now (will try to explain better later).

And remember, I'm a guy on the internet, 10s if not 100s or 1000s of miles away, making educated guesses based on the medium of text. A very finicky, imprecise way to communciate with someone else. Take my advice/observations with a grain of salt.

Hope this helps.

G
Today 10:29 AM
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