I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Author Message
wonderer1 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2016
Reputation: 3
Post: #1
Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
I've been dating a girl for 5/6 months. Just found out she is a high class escort and has been lying to me about various things and her work. Obviously this cannot continue and I wont be seeing her again, I've managed to get concrete evidence. Do I talk to her about this? Or do I just ghost her?
04-21-2019 05:11 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Mig Picante Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 312
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 0
Post: #2
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Sorry to hear that man.
You've phrased it 'give closure' but I think it's probably more about your closure.

I don't like leaving things left unsaid personally, so I'd tell them why, it's like drawing a line in the sand and then move on.
You don't have to ever speak to them again after that.
04-21-2019 06:14 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Mig Picante's post:
Sp5, gework
Sp5 Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 2,692
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 97
Post: #3
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 06:14 AM)Mig Picante Wrote:  Sorry to hear that man.
You've phrased it 'give closure' but I think it's probably more about your closure.

I don't like leaving things left unsaid personally, so I'd tell them why, it's like drawing a line in the sand and then move on.
You don't have to ever speak to them again after that.

The main thing is for you to have legal protection.

Keep the contact minimal. Under the circumstances, maybe a text to her explaining what you know and a good bye / good luck is sufficient. That way it would deter her from accusing you of something, as her attempts at revenge would have a context.

The amount of hamstering involved in being an escort yet maintaining relationships must be astounding. Crazy, and a crazy chick is dangerous.
04-21-2019 06:30 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Sp5's post:
gework, the.king
wonderer1 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2016
Reputation: 3
Post: #4
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 06:30 AM)Sp5 Wrote:  
(04-21-2019 06:14 AM)Mig Picante Wrote:  Sorry to hear that man.
You've phrased it 'give closure' but I think it's probably more about your closure.

I don't like leaving things left unsaid personally, so I'd tell them why, it's like drawing a line in the sand and then move on.
You don't have to ever speak to them again after that.

The main thing is for you to have legal protection.

Keep the contact minimal. Under the circumstances, maybe a text to her explaining what you know and a good bye / good luck is sufficient. That way it would deter her from accusing you of something, as her attempts at revenge would have a context.

The amount of hamstering involved in being an escort yet maintaining relationships must be astounding. Crazy, and a crazy chick is dangerous.

what do you mean about the hamstring? I didn't understand. she is an escort but she wants a husband (she wanted that to be me)..

legal protection? what for? I never had sex with her and she stopped letting me kiss her saying she would only do this for her husband. I ended up catching feelings for her and wanted to scope things out more for a future. we would talk about passions, she is desperate for marriage and a kid, when I said what kind of husband are you looking for she said me.

now I'm thinking there's no point bringing this up, there would be 3 scenarios I can think of which would get me nowhere:

1. she denies and says it was a joke - I look like an idiot
2. she says she will change - puts me in an awkward situation, we know she cant work a normal life now.
3. she gets defensive, aggressive, says she doesn't like me etc - will make me feel more hurt.

I should just go ghost?
04-21-2019 09:12 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
travolta Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,160
Joined: May 2011
Reputation: 15
Post: #5
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 09:12 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  legal protection? what for? I never had sex with her and she stopped letting me kiss her saying she would only do this for her husband. I ended up catching feelings for her and wanted to scope things out more for a future. we would talk about passions, she is desperate for marriage and a kid, when I said what kind of husband are you looking for she said me.

Wait... you dated an ESCORT for 5 months and never had sex with her, and she stopped letting you kiss her? And you want to give this girl closure? lols
This belongs in the newbie section
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 09:17 AM by travolta.)
04-21-2019 09:16 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 20 users Like travolta's post:
Barron, Tinder Scientist, Lobster, crudeloyalist, Donfitz007, endless11, BBinger, Benoit, gework, Akwesi, Mig Picante, the.king, [email protected], Davidovich, Hombre, No More Mr. Soy Boy, LatinoHeat, Obermarschall, Built to Fade, Argot
Black Caesar Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 414
Joined: Jan 2018
Reputation: 15
Post: #6
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Damn bruh ol girl strung you out for 6 months without putting out and you were talking marriage and seriously considering wifing her up?

How did you meet this chick?

Ghost her and get some Game ASAP
04-21-2019 09:18 AM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 14 users Like Black Caesar's post:
travolta, Barron, Tinder Scientist, Lobster, BBinger, PapayaTapper, debeguiled, robreke, [email protected], Davidovich, Hombre, Obermarschall, Built to Fade, Argot
Barron Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,658
Joined: Feb 2013
Reputation: 44
Post: #7
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
The closure you seek is sex, but her pussy ghosted your ass months ago and she's been mind fucking you ever since.

Hopefully all that time and money you invested will teach you a valuable lesson. When sex isn't happening within the first couple weeks, manipulation most likely is.

If you decide to confront her about it, be sure to record the exchange and share the link here.

popcorn

two scoops
two genders
two terms
04-21-2019 09:45 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 7 users Like Barron's post:
BBinger, PapayaTapper, gework, No More Mr. Soy Boy, Built to Fade, Argot, Alpha_Romeo
wonderer1 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2016
Reputation: 3
Post: #8
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 09:16 AM)travolta Wrote:  
(04-21-2019 09:12 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  legal protection? what for? I never had sex with her and she stopped letting me kiss her saying she would only do this for her husband. I ended up catching feelings for her and wanted to scope things out more for a future. we would talk about passions, she is desperate for marriage and a kid, when I said what kind of husband are you looking for she said me.

Wait... you dated an ESCORT for 5 months and never had sex with her, and she stopped letting you kiss her? And you want to give this girl closure? lols
This belongs in the newbie section

She is muslim and said this doesn't happen in her country (she is Uzbek). I also believe she was withholding to get me to marry her.

In the heat of the moment I wanted to confront her to get everything off my chest and see how she would react.

I considered long term as she did things for me, I spoke with her mum occasionally, she would cook for me, buy me small gifts (nothing expensive), travelled from Moscow to see me on valentines day (she lives in Moscow, me in London). I never paid for anything for her, she bought her own tickets, I didn't want to be a provider. Enjoyed travelling, as did I, was very close with her family.

she definitely wants a husband and to have kids. I don't know how she will ever be able to do this.
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 10:20 AM by wonderer1.)
04-21-2019 10:18 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Tinder Scientist Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 133
Joined: Dec 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #9
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
You need to reevaluate your whole dating mindset if you allowed this to happen to you.

You are not "dating" her if you weren't having sex with her and much less when she stopped letting you kiss her...

Come on man... I at least hope you were seeing other women while this was happening.

The bigger issue here is not that she was lying to you (It can't be avoided and it happens sometimes), the issue is that you allowed yourself to "date" a girl who wasn't even into kissing you.

Also stop letting women dictate your life, it sounds like she wanted to long con you into being her husband and you were going to allow this?

Never put yourself in that position again.
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 10:53 AM by Tinder Scientist.)
04-21-2019 10:48 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Tinder Scientist's post:
PapayaTapper, gework, Built to Fade
Lobster Offline
Banned

Posts: 3
Joined: Mar 2019
Post: #10
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Get a friend to book her for an hour then you wait at the hotel. Pay her the cash and fuck her.
04-21-2019 11:36 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 8 users Like Lobster's post:
Donfitz007, PapayaTapper, gework, Perspicacity, Dirtyblueshirt, Hombre, Built to Fade, Argot
Donfitz007 Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 649
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 3
Post: #11
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
this is 1 step away from being a troll thread

Ghost her with no closure, Learn game, get a better woman, actually fuck her.

I understand her effort is very attractive, but sounds to me she's playing you. I personally don't understand how she's and escort AND waiting for marriage but im sure I'm overlooking a detail.
04-21-2019 12:52 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Donfitz007's post:
Sp5, Built to Fade
rudebwoy Away
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,818
Joined: Nov 2010
Reputation: 121
Post: #12
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
You don't need closure, the relationship never got started.

Ghost on her, no need for drama.

Lesson learned, you got played like a fool.

Our New Blog:

http://www.repstylez.com
04-21-2019 01:46 PM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like rudebwoy's post:
debeguiled, arafat scarf, Davidovich, Built to Fade
wonderer1 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 160
Joined: Nov 2016
Reputation: 3
Post: #13
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 12:52 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  this is 1 step away from being a troll thread

Ghost her with no closure, Learn game, get a better woman, actually fuck her.

I understand her effort is very attractive, but sounds to me she's playing you. I personally don't understand how she's and escort AND waiting for marriage but im sure I'm overlooking a detail.

playing me for what reason?
04-21-2019 01:54 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Tinder Scientist Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 133
Joined: Dec 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #14
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 01:54 PM)wonderer1 Wrote:  
(04-21-2019 12:52 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  this is 1 step away from being a troll thread

Ghost her with no closure, Learn game, get a better woman, actually fuck her.

I understand her effort is very attractive, but sounds to me she's playing you. I personally don't understand how she's and escort AND waiting for marriage but im sure I'm overlooking a detail.

playing me for what reason?

She probably realized you have money and are easily manipulated. When she was able to control you for months without even having sex she knew you were a prime target for emotional/financial manipulation in the future.

I would say forget about relationships for the time being, you are obviously not ready. I'm not trying to be harsh but you sound like someone who is maybe a bit too "nice" you should try aiming for the other extreme with game so you can find a balance.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt of assuming you are not trolling, how exactly did you find out? And I'm assuming she knows you are wealthy. At the end of the day it doesn't matter, just cut off contact with her and don't fall for this again.
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 04:01 PM by Tinder Scientist.)
04-21-2019 03:59 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Tinder Scientist's post:
Mig Picante, Built to Fade
PapayaTapper Away
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 4,780
Joined: Mar 2014
Reputation: 144
Post: #15
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
[Image: oxymoron-n.jpg]


One more example..."high class escort"

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
04-21-2019 04:03 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 11 users Like PapayaTapper's post:
debeguiled, Tinder Scientist, Tactician, robreke, gework, Barron, Anchor Man, Off The Reservation, [email protected], Sooth, Built to Fade
PapayaTapper Away
International Playboy
******
Gold Member

Posts: 4,780
Joined: Mar 2014
Reputation: 144
Post: #16
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 12:52 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  this is 1 step away from being a troll thread

Ghost her with no closure, Learn game, get a better woman, actually fuck her.

I understand her effort is very attractive, but sounds to me she's playing you. I personally don't understand how she's and escort AND waiting for marriage but im sure I'm overlooking a detail.

That detail is called "reality"

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
04-21-2019 04:09 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 5 users Like PapayaTapper's post:
Tinder Scientist, robreke, Off The Reservation, Leonard D Neubache, Built to Fade
Anchor Man Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 219
Joined: Oct 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #17
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Dude there is no dating without sex.Period .
Unless the girl is virgin and she wants to stay so until the marriage .
You were pretty her friend maybe close friend .
Ghost and learn the game
04-21-2019 04:40 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Anchor Man's post:
BlastbeatCasanova
gework Offline
Alpha Male
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,112
Joined: Apr 2017
Reputation: 64
Post: #18
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 10:18 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  I also believe she was withholding to get me to marry her.

Hard to know how she held off so long Hump Arrow tard

I was in a situation some time a go. A girl did something really stupid. Not as stupid as what this girl has done. I got out of the country and told her what I thought of what she did. She didn't listen. She didn't deny, but didn't accept it. She just refused to talk about it. And she didn't learn her lesson, because about 9 months after I blocked her she contacted me with another number, sending me photos of her new gym body.

Dangerous shit. Hard to turn away a gym body. Luckily she sloped off. One of the scariest things of my life was seeing the deep, dark despair in her eyes as I walked away from her for the last time. Probably a borderline-BPD.

I think the best way could be to try and close this off in a nice as way as possible. You don't know how crazy she could become when you are of no use to her and cast her aside, after she had a big deceptive plan for you.

The kind of woman who gets into prostitution and then plays a chaste, virgin game is probably pretty dangerous.

You ghost and she could get angry and retaliate.

Confront her that she is a pro and she could get angry in retaliate.

I would say something final, but vague like, "After thinking about things I can't see us having a life together...". Whatever questions she throws, bat them off. Your decision is final.
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 05:00 PM by gework.)
04-21-2019 04:58 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes gework's post:
Sam Malone
rudebwoy Away
Innovative Casanova
*******
Gold Member

Posts: 7,818
Joined: Nov 2010
Reputation: 121
Post: #19
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Do not confront her about what she does!

You will come across butt hurt and lose your cool, ghost on her and give her no reason.

Learn the lesson and thank your lucky stars it never went further.

Don't feel bad, I've heard similar stories and they didn't end well for the guy.

Our New Blog:

http://www.repstylez.com
04-21-2019 05:59 PM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like rudebwoy's post:
NoMoreTO, wonderer1
Brodiaga Offline
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,404
Joined: May 2013
Reputation: 79
Post: #20
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
delete
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 06:07 PM by Brodiaga.)
04-21-2019 06:04 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
icrus Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 169
Joined: Nov 2016
Reputation: 32
Post: #21
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Women do this all the time without even thinking about it for a split second. Yet here you are, wondering whether you should continue being a good girlfriend after all this time.

Think twice about what the correct answer is.

http://www.moscownightguide.com
04-21-2019 06:05 PM
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Sgt Donger Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 172
Joined: Aug 2018
Reputation: 2
Post: #22
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
(04-21-2019 05:11 AM)wonderer1 Wrote:  Just found out she is a high class escort

Dude, don't over-think the situation...if you enjoy the sex then maybe you just gotta accept that you need to hand over some cash.

If you are wanting anything more than the sex...just tell her that it's not working out and go find a new girl.
04-21-2019 07:02 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
flyinghorse Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 349
Joined: Jan 2018
Reputation: 1
Post: #23
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Drop her a quick message just saying you see no future with her and you want to move on.
04-21-2019 08:33 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Off The Reservation Away
True Player
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 2,487
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation: 91
Post: #24
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
I guess you Sir should have taken her to Dubai like she asked. Just think of it from her perspective, here you are a fine young Pakistani guy Sir with the lustiest chick from Tashkent who is willing to give up her lifestyle for you Sir and you don't even take her where she wants to go Sir.

Sometimes art can be helpful we have quite a bit here on RVF dedicated to your situation Sir. I hope it soothes the pain of losing that damp, pasty white skin you only touched on the arm a few times. At least you did Sir! It is better to have loved a little in your thoughts and in your palm than not to have loved at all !!!

[Image: attachment.php?aid=8787]

https://www.npr.org/sections/codeswitch/...off-limits
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 09:33 PM by Off The Reservation.)
04-21-2019 09:16 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 5 users Like Off The Reservation's post:
PapayaTapper, Tinder Scientist, No More Mr. Soy Boy, Built to Fade, Benoit
Mig Picante Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 312
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 0
Post: #25
RE: Give closure before going ghost? or just go ghost?
Wow, this is even worse than your initial post revealed.

You need some serious self development in order to develop some personal standards around what you accept and how you let other people treat you.
A sexless 'relationship' where she withheld kissing, has continually deceived you and you've gone and taken her on an overseas holiday? Come on, man.

You should not confront this person as they are a far more cunning, skilled and powerful adversary.

Good luck! You can improve from here. You need to recognise how you allowed this to occur and prevent it from happening again.
04-21-2019 11:26 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Mig Picante's post:
ManOfTheTimes, Built to Fade
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Friendzone The girls who ghost you, to turn the tables around understandbpd 18 3,104 09-01-2018 02:03 PM
Last Post: torridon747
  Is the 'Soft Next' or 5 day Ghost Beta? RatInTheWoods 11 3,090 05-01-2018 06:53 PM
Last Post: PapayaTapper
  The Ghost Bang (TM?) Thread Natural Nomad 7 3,629 02-09-2015 09:11 AM
Last Post: ikemen

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication