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My sister has just died
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #1
My sister has just died
I'm shaking right now. I just had a call. Please, I need help and strength. Please I need company, help me, talk to me. I don't have anyone to talk to. Please. Pray for me. Help me, talk to me. Even if I don't respond, I just need to know people care.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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04-21-2019 08:43 AM
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JohnKreese Offline
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Post: #2
RE: My sister has just died
You and your family are in my prayers. You will get through this.

"In America we don't worship government, we worship God." - President Donald J. Trump
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 08:45 AM by JohnKreese.)
04-21-2019 08:44 AM
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Hypno Offline
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Post: #3
RE: My sister has just died
thoughts and prayers sent
04-21-2019 09:02 AM
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Zep Offline
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Post: #4
RE: My sister has just died
Go to a church my friend, it's sunday, there should be one near you?

Call up churches, homeless shelters, the YMCA, places like this.

You WILL get through this.

Breath in 1, 2, 3, 4, breath out, 1, 2, 3, 4, focus on this simple action, it will help prevent you from spiraling out of control.

You're going to be alright brother, you are stronger than you think.
04-21-2019 09:05 AM
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therajraj Offline
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Post: #5
RE: My sister has just died
Sorry for your loss bro.

Go lie down and cry yourself to sleep
04-21-2019 09:09 AM
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Vladimir Poontang
Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #6
RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 09:05 AM)Zep Wrote:  Go to a church my friend, it's sunday, there should be one near you?

Call up churches, homeless shelters, the YMCA, places like this.

You WILL get through this.

Breath in 1, 2, 3, 4, breath out, 1, 2, 3, 4, focus on this simple action, it will help prevent you from spiraling out of control.

You're going to be alright brother, you are stronger than you think.

Thanks. The thing is, I'm kind of neutral. My mother is upset, the ambulance are there (she lives 10 mins walk from me) and she wants me to go there. I can't do it. I have panic attacks. I told her to wait until the ambulance and whoever else have done what they need to do and then I'll call her a cab and she can come to me.

In a way I'm relieved. She had depression for years and years, and schitzophrenia, and more recently b canc (I can't type it). I feel a bit bad because I would expect to be crying. I'm crying inside. I'm more worried about my mother though. I'm feeling strangely stoic.

What a way to spend a sunday. Rossh if you're around talk to me.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 09:09 AM by Vladimir Poontang.)
04-21-2019 09:09 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #7
RE: My sister has just died
I'm thankful for everything I have in my life, I forgive everyone who has ever wronged me, and I'm sorry for everything I've ever done to anyone. I trust God. I don't know why you've done this, but your will man.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
04-21-2019 09:10 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #8
RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 09:05 AM)Zep Wrote:  Go to a church my friend, it's sunday, there should be one near you?

Call up churches, homeless shelters, the YMCA, places like this.

You WILL get through this.

Breath in 1, 2, 3, 4, breath out, 1, 2, 3, 4, focus on this simple action, it will help prevent you from spiraling out of control.

You're going to be alright brother, you are stronger than you think.

Listen to Zep.

Light a candle and let it be your focus. It can help to still your mind from racing.

The public will judge a man by what he lifts, but those close to him will judge him by what he carries.
04-21-2019 09:39 AM
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GT777733 Offline
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Post: #9
RE: My sister has just died
Thinking of you mate

If you have a crisis support hotline in your country - they can be worth a call if you need just any human to talk to say what's on your mind
04-21-2019 09:45 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #10
RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 09:45 AM)GT777733 Wrote:  Thinking of you mate

If you have a crisis support hotline in your country - they can be worth a call if you need just any human to talk to say what's on your mind

I just spoke to a friend who's offering to come and see me now. But it's quite a long drive, and I'd feel bad.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
04-21-2019 09:46 AM
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Beirut Offline
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Post: #11
RE: My sister has just died
Have two sisters, cant even imagine your pain OP. Very sorry for your loss OP.

Go be with your Mom. You both need it.

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04-21-2019 10:01 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #12
RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 10:01 AM)Beirut Wrote:  Have two sisters, cant even imagine your pain OP. Very sorry for your loss OP.

Go be with your Mom. You both need it.

It's ok I'll arrange for her to be driven to my place. I'm not very far. I don't know why but I'm feeling quite lighthearted. It feels like such a normal day.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
04-21-2019 10:06 AM
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SlickyBoy Offline
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Post: #13
RE: My sister has just died
If you meant cancer, been there too. Sucks; and you never stop wondering why.
But you also rarely go a day without remembering the one you lost.
Agree, your family needs you now as much as you need someone to talk to.
And a grief counselor/hotline if available might help if that doesn't work out. Just don't be alone & festering with guilt.

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04-21-2019 10:21 AM
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doc holliday Offline
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Post: #14
RE: My sister has just died
Vladimir, man that's awful. I'm so sorry she died, especially on Easter Sunday. Try and be strong for your mother, she needs you. God bless you and your family
04-21-2019 10:39 AM
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Brother Abdul Majeed Offline
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Post: #15
RE: My sister has just died
I'm very sorry to hear this Vladimir. Your family is in my prayers today. Take care man.
04-21-2019 10:42 AM
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Roosh Offline
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Post: #16
RE: My sister has just died
Acute grief can't be solved. Just refrain from hurting yourself.

Either spend time with your family or be alone in your apartment or in park where you can grieve. You're in for a hard road, though the first week is the roughest.

My condolences.

Roosh
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04-21-2019 10:52 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 10:52 AM)Roosh Wrote:  Acute grief can't be solved. Just refrain from hurting yourself.

Either spend time with your family or be alone in your apartment or in park where you can grieve. You're in for a hard road, though the first week is the roughest.

My condolences.

I feel so neutral. I've had moments when I cry for just a few seconds then suddenly stop and feel ok. Otherwise I feel so calm. I'm so worried that at some point I'm going to freak out. I've had panic attacks in the past and I'm concerned that I might have one. And it feels like such a normal day. I feel very capable of being stoic, but when I think of my mother I feel like I'm going to have to carry something that I can't carry.

Roosh you're so calm and if I didn't read your blog or hear about it I'd never guess about your situation. How can you continue a blog and make videos like that? I just mean how do you deal with it and still present yourself as you usually do?

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
(This post was last modified: 04-21-2019 10:58 AM by Vladimir Poontang.)
04-21-2019 10:55 AM
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Post: #18
RE: My sister has just died
I'm sorry for your loss Vladimir.
04-21-2019 10:58 AM
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International Playa Offline
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Post: #19
RE: My sister has just died
I'm so sorry for your lost, Vlad
04-21-2019 11:12 AM
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RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 10:55 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  
(04-21-2019 10:52 AM)Roosh Wrote:  Acute grief can't be solved. Just refrain from hurting yourself.

Either spend time with your family or be alone in your apartment or in park where you can grieve. You're in for a hard road, though the first week is the roughest.

My condolences.

I feel so neutral. I've had moments when I cry for just a few seconds then suddenly stop and feel ok. Otherwise I feel so calm. I'm so worried that at some point I'm going to freak out. I've had panic attacks in the past and I'm concerned that I might have one. And it feels like such a normal day. I feel very capable of being stoic, but when I think of my mother I feel like I'm going to have to carry something that I can't carry.

Roosh you're so calm and if I didn't read your blog or hear about it I'd never guess about your situation. How can you continue a blog and make videos like that? I just mean how do you deal with it and still present yourself as you usually do?

Sorry for your loss Vladimir.

Losing a sibling must be even worse than losing a parent.

Don't feel like you need to react in any specific manner. You're doing good. You're reacting like a man and like God intented you to react. This is not something you should think about. You're stoic and by being that, you will get through the shock and be able to participate in the funeral and the wake. This is important that you participate and listen to friends, family and priest. Their words will bring meaning.

Tell them that you appreciate that they talk about her. Tell them that you want them to talk about her. It's important that you talk about her. It will help heal, but most people think they should act like it didn't happen out of care for you. The reverse is true. The more you talk, the more she lives on and the easier you will get through the grief.

Be prepared to be hit hard after the funeral and ritual mourning is over. It will probably last for a long time and you'll feel everything you don't feel now. This is when you'll need someone to talk to, but most people will think "you should try to get over it". That's not what you want. Let people know that you will be mourning for at least one year and that they should talk to you about it and your sister for that entire time.

If you want, you can always write to us here. I don't know you, but I know where you're at and I'll listen to you if you want.
04-21-2019 11:17 AM
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Post: #21
RE: My sister has just died
(04-21-2019 09:09 AM)Vladimir Poontang Wrote:  
(04-21-2019 09:05 AM)Zep Wrote:  Go to a church my friend, it's sunday, there should be one near you?

Call up churches, homeless shelters, the YMCA, places like this.

You WILL get through this.

Breath in 1, 2, 3, 4, breath out, 1, 2, 3, 4, focus on this simple action, it will help prevent you from spiraling out of control.

You're going to be alright brother, you are stronger than you think.

Thanks. The thing is, I'm kind of neutral. My mother is upset, the ambulance are there (she lives 10 mins walk from me) and she wants me to go there. I can't do it. I have panic attacks. I told her to wait until the ambulance and whoever else have done what they need to do and then I'll call her a cab and she can come to me.

In a way I'm relieved. She had depression for years and years, and schitzophrenia, and more recently b canc (I can't type it). I feel a bit bad because I would expect to be crying. I'm crying inside. I'm more worried about my mother though. I'm feeling strangely stoic.

What a way to spend a sunday. Rossh if you're around talk to me.

Don't feel bad. I didn't cry a single tear when my grandmother died and I felt guilty about it. But then I realized that's just who we are. We're men. I don't mean it's wrong or unmanly to cry, but it doesn't mean you love her less because you don't. It's nature's way of telling you you need to remain strong so you can help and support your family.
04-21-2019 11:19 AM
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #22
RE: My sister has just died
Sorry to hear it bro. Hang tough.

Don't second guess yourself or your emotions.

It's your sister and your life and you have a right to deal with it any way you see fit.

Prayers incoming.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
04-21-2019 11:21 AM
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Post: #23
RE: My sister has just died
Vlad, I'm sorry for your loss. Get through this.
04-21-2019 11:23 AM
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Post: #24
RE: My sister has just died
So sorry for you Vladimir. What a terrible loss. In all my life I"ve never found any solution for this. It's just bad. That's all it is. All you can do is give yourself time to grieve your sister properly, the way she deserves to be remembered. God bless you.
04-21-2019 11:29 AM
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Post: #25
RE: My sister has just died
Very sorry for your loss.
04-21-2019 11:31 AM
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