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Do you want your LTR to have a job?
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Robert High Hawk Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(04-24-2019 01:18 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  $4k after taxes/insurance/10% 401k is about $70k/year.

If you actually believe that a job which requires a 4 year degree that pays $70k a year is going to leave a girl burnt out, I have a bridge to sell you..

I'd like to see that bridge. Please name a typical 4 year degree that starts at 70k. Again, we are talking a typical 4 year degree for a woman, from a typical college. We are not talking about outliers, exceptions, and high achievers. If 70k jobs were so chill, the average salary for a college grad in the US would not be 50k. 50k factors in all the top STEM grads, overwhelmingly men - who bust their ass.

Furthermore, In many white collar work places, the men working there aren't alpha chad thundercock type guys. They're average joes with terrible diets, receding hairlines, and beta personalities. Sure there are your occasional alphas, but that is limited, and limited even moreso based on industry. On top of that, not every guy is out to get pussy when they're at work, and for the few guys that are, there's no guarantee the girl he's hitting on is going to find him attractive or even tolerate his advances, given the #metoo nature of society now.

Maybe true, maybe not. Depends on the industry and circumstance. Then again, it's also quite possible that the wife that does not work isn't going to peruse Tinder all day, as you insisted multiple times. I wrote about that to say that unless you have some hard evidence saying that it will definitely happen, you can easily just say there is a risk in the workplace, or that she'll tinder at work. Either your wife is the unfaithful type or not. If not, don't marry her. Pretty simple...

On top of that, workplaces are not male dominated anymore. Many times women do the same jobs as men (white collar) and they do it even better. This whole notion that a girl is surrounded by alpha domineering male model chauvinistic men who are trying to fuck her during their lunch breaks is ridiculous. Too much porn consumption, not enough roots grounded in reality.

Agree, except that once you start getting into higher income brackets... ironically right around the 70k range you wrote about earlier, there WILL be more men, who ARE more alpha. Either way, I'm not emphasizing that as my main point, just simply saying that there is risk there just like there is risk at home in "idleness". You are postulating based off of just your opinion of what you think women will do at home, I'm saying you can also opine in the other direction, since workplace affairs happen all the damn time.

Finally, I don't know who came up with the idea that women don't have stamina/energy. My sister is just 20 years old and spends 12-14 hours a day studying in med school. Hardest worker I've ever known in my life. Most of her classmates in the med program are also women. Some of the smartest fucking doctors I've met are women.

Women do not have the same amount of stamina and energy as men. Are you serious? Your sister is 20 years old, that basically proves the point. She is at the peak of her mental and physical productivity. We talk about the wall here, do you not think it doesn't apply to other aspects of women as well besides purely their looks? Take a look at investment banking women, - vanishingly few, and those are in it are basically High-T harpies. Your sister may very well be an outlier (wall survivor to-be, if you will), but the reality is that any kind of remotely demanding job will quickly drain the already fleeting energy levels of a woman, especially if she has kids.

At the end of the day, something has to give. Women cannot have it all or do it all, they can either focus on the family, their husband, or their career. If an extra few shekels a month is worth the meaningful presence of a wife and mother at home, then so be it. I TOTALLY understand that this may be a requirement in today's economic environment to have a medium standard of living, but let's not try to convince ourselves that things should be this way, or that things are better this way.

I'm no supporter of feminism, but at the same time, I don't share the sentiment that women are incompetent and lazy. It's probably more to do with the type of women you pursue/date rather than women as a whole.

Never said they were lazy or incompetent, that's more or less what you are arguing, saying that UNLESS they get a job, they will fall into idleness and not know how to productively fill their time. Only big daddy corporation can give women the fulfillment in their life that they need.

Would you not say that's kind of condescending and basically a feminist talking point?
04-24-2019 03:23 PM
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partyfowl Offline
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Post: #27
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(04-23-2019 02:44 PM)Zenta Wrote:  My woman can run a flower shop that I'll open for her.

Perfect job for her, I'm fine with my wife doing a job that emphasizes her femininity.
05-01-2019 12:49 PM
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ilostabet Offline
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Post: #28
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
Yes, raising my kids.

My wife just lost her job, incidentally. Not in a rush to get a new one. Since we don't have kids yet, though hopefully soon, she can get a job as long as it doesn't interfere with her house duties - part time would be perfect. Once there are kids though, raising them will be her job and it's the most important one she can have. Women need that job as much as the kids need them to perform it, especially for the first 5 or 6 years (well, given how the globohomo is pushing every kind of depravity on schoolkids since elementary maybe even homeschool). But it's incredible how this natural path that was the norm for all of history has become socially oddball. Whenever we say that she will be staying at home instead of dumping the kids on day care everybody looks at us like we're from Mars. Then they wonder why their kids are messed up.

For those who are thinking of having children and having them raised at home (instead of day care), a good rule of thumb before they come around is to live on the man's salary alone even if the woman has a job, because that way you learn the discipline to not over extend yourself on useless spending - you learn really quick what's essential and what's consumerist bullshit. Unless you're rich, I do think it's good for the woman to bring some money while there are no kids to take care - allows for more saving and avoids the bored housewife syndrome, after all, house chores are not that time consuming when it's just two people. But once there are, it's barefoot in the kitchen with her. If your woman is not happy with being a dedicated mother and foregoing her stupid globohomo career, she's not wife material.
05-02-2019 09:16 AM
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Lonos Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
heck no I see the only reason for a woman to have a job is if your living in the u.s and you dont make very much and you have no kids. or you live overseas and you are extremely poor and dont have a sustainable income. I'ts a bad idea especially in the u.s.
05-02-2019 10:12 AM
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partyfowl Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(05-02-2019 10:12 AM)Lonos Wrote:  heck no I see the only reason for a woman to have a job is if your living in the u.s and you dont make very much and you have no kids. or you live overseas and you are extremely poor and dont have a sustainable income. I'ts a bad idea especially in the u.s.

Exactly, the single income household is now more or less dead. I'm more concerned in HER job than if she's employed or not.
05-02-2019 10:37 AM
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tremont Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
If there are no children, I'd rather she works at least part time. There is a difference between working and being a career woman who completely ignores her family.

Maybe its me, but I can't stand a woman who just sits around doing nothing except spending a mans hard earned money on trivialities. She has to contribute something to the household, and if there aren't children then she can help the family budget.

The worst are the big shot hedge fund guys. Who wives don't work but also have nannys taking care of the kids and servants taking care of the house. They just sit around drinking wine, gossiping, going to yoga classes, and fucking Tyrone behind hubby's back. That whole concept makes me want to vomit.

One thing you have to be careful about women who have never worked. They often have no appreciation for the value of money and will spend you into credit card oblivion. If they don't want to work they probably also don't have much education. They often don't have basic math skills and don't understand simple concepts like how to calculate compound interest or how taxes work. Even a woman I was with a long time who used to work but couldn't when she was with me in this country, after a couple years of not working she started spending more and more on shopping and activities because she was bored when I was at work.

The modern era on online shopping, masterful advertising, and easy access to credit cards makes most people (especially women) to be poorly equipped to make smart financial decisions. Everything in our society is optimized to make the "easy" and "natural" human behavior (system 1) lead you right into getting fooled to lose your money. You have to become an unfeeling logical robot to avoid getting scammed out of your hard earned dollars. Women are way more susceptible to this than we are as they always default to wanting to do the easy and fun thing without thinking too much.

This has been my experience in 2 marriages. The first putting me in the poor house despite my nice 6 figure income. The second causing money issues to be a constant source of tension in the relationship.

There is also the reality of the economy in many parts of the western world. The cost of living in most places is adjusted against 2 working parents, so unless you're a high end baller you are going to struggle with a mediocre lifestyle. Especially when the kids arrive...
(This post was last modified: 05-04-2019 02:32 PM by tremont.)
05-04-2019 02:24 PM
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gework
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Post: #32
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
For marriage I am looking at a setup where my wife works with me, but will primarily be in charge of the kids (lots of them). Chances are I'll be able to have her making more working 10-20 hours per week from home than in whatever career they might have planned. Particularly as this will be in a low income country.

I have no interest in a woman who has a career plan. It saps their femininity with them slogging in a job they don't really like for a little bit of cash, coming home tired etc. It also gives them completely the wrong idea of how things should be setup. It leads to her becoming more masculine and that will make you both less happy. One of the greatest feelings in the world is to be in a relationship with traditional gender roles.

Issue is that not everyone can do that. In the case money is more important and your not location independent I would look for a girl who has a skill that can be marketed from home. Someone posted on here that their girl/wife does handicrafts and sells them online on sites like ETSY. She could sell stuff on eBay. I know a woman who makes a living playing occasionally in an orchestra and selling doodles online. Maybe she grooms dogs or does something equestrian.

If you are going for a girl who wants to be a career pro, you'll have more money, but she will be around all the kinds of things that corrupt women and make them more likely to divorce. I have come to the conclusion that any woman who has any desire for a career is a write-off. I've wasted time on women due to this. A big issue is I mixed up what a friend should be into what a wife should be. It doesn't matter if your wife has similar interests as you. What matters is you have the same ideas on family and how your life should pan out. There are plenty of girls who would rather scrabble about on the career path than give it up for a husband that can make multiples of what she makes. It's been so ingrained into Westernised women that career is important that won't go without it. Avoid them.

Two options (UK taxes)

Both of you have upperish-middle-class jobs at £40,000 / year. After tax that is £60,000.

You have the £40K job, she pulls in £15,000 from a casual home-job. After tax that's £44,000.

So the cost is about 27% of your both 9-5 income. That's the cost of raising your kids properly, having a feminine wife etc.

If you have lots of cash then you have lots of options, though the supply of aspiring housewives is not that plentiful, they do exist.

Otherwise one of the main things you should be looking for is a girl who wants to work from home.
05-04-2019 05:13 PM
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bgbusiness Away
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Post: #33
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
I think it would have been cool if she was a fitness training, yoga instructor, chef, etc so that she can cook for me, fuck like rabbits, and workout together.

However, if I got my finances straight, she shouldn't be working. I would like her to be like my manager/secretary who takes care of me and my family tbh.

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."
- Heat

"That's the difference between you and me. You wanna lose small, I wanna win big."
(This post was last modified: 05-04-2019 10:29 PM by bgbusiness.)
05-04-2019 10:29 PM
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Post: #34
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
The single earner family household is dead in Germany. You need two professionals working full time, just to be able to afford the mortgage. To be able to afford the downpayment (25%), you need to have very well off parents. All of this is true for Big cities (Berlin, Hamburg, Duesseldorf, Cologne, Frankfurt Stuttgart and Munich), where houses are at least 600 K EUR for an object in a desirable location. Unless you already make six figures (and got a house handed down by family), there is no way to afford a family and have just a single earner.

The happiest couples I know, are the ones where the wife works part-time a job she likes.
05-06-2019 05:52 AM
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EwartGrogan Offline
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Post: #35
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(04-23-2019 02:42 AM)the.king Wrote:  You met a woman who wants to ''prioritise her career at this stage of her life'' and she is 'smart' and 'educated' (= she prefers to dedicate her energy to another man's business for 2,000 euros per month)?

Great way of putting things into the right perspective.
05-06-2019 10:31 AM
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el_cunado Offline
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Post: #36
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
05-08-2019 10:49 AM
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tugofpeace Offline
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Post: #37
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(04-23-2019 02:42 AM)the.king Wrote:  You met a woman who wants to ''prioritise her career at this stage of her life'' and she is 'smart' and 'educated' (= she prefers to dedicate her energy to another man's business for 2,000 euros per month)? Good luck

Having a career doesn't mean that you prioritize it. If you think every person in the working world, even in high paying positions, puts their job over everything else, you are mistaken.

There are plenty, PLENTY of jobs that pay well, even six figures, that require nothing more than a 40 hour work week. Much of that week is spent bullshitting with coworkers and pushing paper. Not every job demands 50-70 hours of grueling work.
05-08-2019 03:05 PM
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the.king Offline
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Post: #38
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(05-08-2019 03:05 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  Having a career doesn't mean that you prioritize it. If you think every person in the working world, even in high paying positions, puts their job over everything else, you are mistaken.

There are plenty, PLENTY of jobs that pay well, even six figures, that require nothing more than a 40 hour work week. Much of that week is spent bullshitting with coworkers and pushing paper. Not every job demands 50-70 hours of grueling work.

I agree a woman can get a six figure job in the States (and the equivalent in Europe) which requires not more than 40 hours per week

TERMS & CONDITIONS

- Such jobs are of course not available for unskilled 18 year olds. Such jobs require specialisation which comes YEARS after studying for professional qualifications, and having plenty of grueling work years to show on your CV. So yeah if a woman wastes her 20s and maybe even early 30s, she'll have a cushy job when she's 35.

- Such jobs are mostly available in shitty blue-pill mega-cities like London which are shit for raising families.

- Its never 40 hours. Its another hour of lunch every day, plus commute, plus the corporate party this Friday night etc etc

- If your girlfriend comfortably makes 100k then her manager makes 175k and his boss makes half a million. Goes without saying women want the highest value man within reach, so make sure you come on top when it comes to such competition.

etc etc....
(This post was last modified: 05-09-2019 01:43 AM by the.king.)
05-09-2019 01:19 AM
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the.king Offline
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RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
delete
(This post was last modified: 05-09-2019 01:38 AM by the.king.)
05-09-2019 01:33 AM
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CleanSlate Offline
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Post: #40
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
Unlike many others here, I don't want a stay at home mom.

It's too easy for SAHMs to go down the social media rabbit hole because housework doesn't really take all that much time. Even with kids, we don't need to be watching them every hour of the day, especially when they start preschool.

Here's what I prefer, in the following order:

1. Wife who works remotely from home through a freelance business (kinda like me)
2. Wife who works a low-pressure job where she's allowed to come home at a reasonable time before dinner
3. Wife who works or volunteers part-time while homeschooling the kids

While I wouldn't want her sitting at home all day twiddling her thumbs doing nothing (fuck no) I also wouldn't want her working a high-pressure career job where she comes home late and complains about me not "pulling my weight" around the house (fuck no). There's a happy middle somewhere between the two extremes, AS LONG as the wife prioritizes family over career, every time, every day.
(This post was last modified: 05-09-2019 01:54 AM by CleanSlate.)
05-09-2019 01:54 AM
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Laner Offline
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Post: #41
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(05-09-2019 01:54 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  Unlike many others here, I don't want a stay at home mom.

It's too easy for SAHMs to go down the social media rabbit hole because housework doesn't really take all that much time. Even with kids, we don't need to be watching them every hour of the day, especially when they start preschool.

Here's what I prefer, in the following order:

1. Wife who works remotely from home through a freelance business (kinda like me)
2. Wife who works a low-pressure job where she's allowed to come home at a reasonable time before dinner
3. Wife who works or volunteers part-time while homeschooling the kids

While I wouldn't want her sitting at home all day twiddling her thumbs doing nothing (fuck no) I also wouldn't want her working a high-pressure career job where she comes home late and complains about me not "pulling my weight" around the house (fuck no). There's a happy middle somewhere between the two extremes, AS LONG as the wife prioritizes family over career, every time, every day.

I can agree with most of that, but I would say that when you see your kid hit pre school age you will most likely NOT want them in there. Fuck school for little kids. I am not even sold on kindergarten yet. Kids don't need other little fuckheads being shitty influences on them until they have build up more self regard.

I was watching the my neighbor this morning on his tractor doing some discing. His 5 year old was up in the cab with him, an extra set of eyes on the discs. I thought, shouldn't he be in kindergarten? Then I remembered, oh yeah, hes out there with his dad learning how life actually works instead of being read shitty books about inclusive rainbow families and painting with their fingers.
05-09-2019 11:56 AM
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JStrongbow Offline
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Post: #42
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
Yes and No....

No because we live in Clown World, but
Yes because it puts more Bacon on the table

Mixed feelings here on that one!
05-09-2019 12:13 PM
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PrettyBoyAJ Offline
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Post: #43
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
Woah this is crazy.

Of course she needs her own career. Who else is going to pay her bills? Not me.
05-09-2019 07:04 PM
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travolta Offline
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Post: #44
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
Definitely. Years back I had this live-in girlfriend who didn't have a job. I was paying for everything and she was ALWAYS around. I'm not going to bankroll some girl's lifestyle and have her spend my money all day. I wouldn't want her to have some intense career where she works all day, but she at least needs a part time job to help split bills.
05-09-2019 08:33 PM
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tugofpeace Offline
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Post: #45
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(05-09-2019 07:04 PM)PrettyBoyAJ Wrote:  Woah this is crazy.

Of course she needs her own career. Who else is going to pay her bills? Not me.

Yea. America is a consumerist culture no matter how you look at it. Even if I could easily support a wife and kids, there's no fucking way I'd want that. I've seen it with my own mother; she took care of my sister and I as a stay at home mom, and now that we've left, she has nothing else to do but to take care of my dad when he gets home from work.

I feel sad for her because all she does every day is watch TV, cook, and keep the house clean. She has a few friends here and there, but she's lonely and doesn't have a sense of purpose or anything to look forward to. I really wish she had a job that she enjoyed just to fill her time. Sometimes I wish she could live with me when I start a family, so that I could keep her occupied with my kids.

The other thing is, she's a traditional wife in that she fits the patriarchy bill. She's not a feminist. Imagine what a girl in modern day society would do staying at home.. it's a disaster waiting to happen.
05-10-2019 02:41 PM
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Post: #46
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
For all the guys who say if there are no kids involved, they don't mind their wife working, I know many personal trainers (male) who thank men who let their wives do that. Being the shoulder to cry on during their gym session as they get their pre-baby body back, then blowing their back out all before dinner.

More than a porn storyline, it happens in suburbia on a daily basis.
05-10-2019 05:46 PM
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robreke Offline
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Post: #47
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
My LTR is pregnant. My child of course. 8 mos.

She's on "trial period" with me as far as marriage.

She keeps mentioning things like "I need a good job (meaning after the child comes) " I feel I have so much to offer" "I have untapped potential" blah blah.

It's a red flag and gets on my nerves when I hear it but, being she's very pregnant and essentially on PMS-emotion overdrive 24-7, I keep my suggestions and advice on the softer side.

I'll say things like "I liked that idea you had about you working from home. I think we should look at some home work job possibilities, etc" Today she countered with "But I like getting out and being around other people, I've worked from home before, I get bored, etc"

I stated the obvious "well, before honey, you didn't have an infant son in the house with you. Now you will. You won't be alone" She was all "don't say it like that...like I'm not thinking about that" etc.

Like I said, she's on a trial period now. On that note, Laner recently mentioned watching other children as a good day job for a woman.

Anyone else been able to get their LTR a good home job so she could stay at home/ at home with the kids?

- One planet orbiting a star. Billions of stars in the galaxy. Billions of galaxies in the universe. Approach.

#BallsWin
(This post was last modified: 05-10-2019 06:24 PM by robreke.)
05-10-2019 06:20 PM
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flaghunter Offline
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Post: #48
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
My LTR is doing seasonal work which is keeping me grounded in the same country more than I would like.

I'm thinking to get her teaching English online a couple of days a week (I work online also) and keep hopping countries with me - I don't mind funding her for a while to be more mobile.
05-16-2019 11:51 AM
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TheFlyingPortuguese Offline
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Post: #49
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
(04-22-2019 04:16 AM)flaghunter Wrote:  Do you want your LTR to keep working and making income?
If not at what point do you want to start funding her?

I would rather travel fulltime with my GF than the current setup of her working a couple of seasons a year and travelling a few months a year.
I work online and have funds to bankroll my GF to travel with me, but I've known her less than a year, and doubt she would want to stop making income.

I've suggested that she could teach English online while travelling, which earns $15-20 per hour, and could try to tie this in with my work schedule.

I have seen this happen way to often... I reckon it soon become a very unbalanced relationship and it might put a strain on it. Moreover, girls nowadays shy away from that kind of dependence... at least in the western!

You suggestion seems rather fair... but you have known this girl for less than a year and you want her to abandon everything to trot the globe with you?! Good Luck mate Big Grin
05-16-2019 01:47 PM
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BigTedSven Offline
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Post: #50
RE: Do you want your LTR to have a job?
For me the best girl to have an LTR with is someone who truly loves their job. If you are with someone for 6 months you will be able to determine if this is the case or not.
Hard to find, but if you aren’t at the stage of your life where you are looking to have kids, a woman with purpose (a job she enjoys) is ideal I believe as this will mean a better relationship.
If she hates what she spends most of her days doing then that resentment will slowly seep into the relationship.
Now if I was looking to have kids I still haven’t figured that one out yet, but the reality is that it’s very hard to live a good life without a double income these days.
05-18-2019 09:23 PM
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