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A mid thirties journal
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BalanceLife Offline
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A mid thirties journal
Bio:
Mid 30s, Asian, 5'8, average-looks-and-built, (sometimes girls say I am cute, mostly in Asia), knows game since 2008 but very on and off practice. My journal is a learning journey - I very welcome any comments and suggestions.

Background:
In the past few years I've approached girls, maybe several openings each month, and it's really not going anywhere I'd like and I ended up doing a lot of online gaming which I realized, by now, it's a waste of time.

I've started to game more seriously by my standard since beginning of April and opened around 30 sets in April, 70% of my openings were night games, but I've also pushed myself to open in days which I think were about 10 give or take. I had two lays so am happy with the progress in a month but want to 1) improve and 2) be consistent.

My journals for April:
Blowing out the whole bar, closed one in disco
Another day (and night) running game
EDM music gig alcohol free night game, expat bar make out
Follow up dates, and hotel make outs

PS: From now on I'll be putting my journals directly in this thread.

Thanks
(This post was last modified: 05-05-2019 11:19 AM by BalanceLife.)
05-05-2019 11:01 AM
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BalanceLife Offline
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Post: #2
RE: A mid thirties journal
First week of May
I now live in a hotel in a Chinese city called Shenzhen for a few weeks cos of work. The night and day game are broken down into time when I am alone without friends or colleagues.

One night I number closed a Chinese girl at my hotel lounge. She’s my type but is leaving soon for holidays at another Chinese city. So there wasn’t any progress but still it felt good to number close a quality set and we created connection as we chatted for over half an hour. Hopefully she comes back to Shenzhen soon and we can reconnect.

A few nights later I am went out with an English girl I number closed at the club. She suggested red wine by the beach so for me it's game on, she didn't create so much eye contacts and social queues at the beach, but we chatted well into in midnight, which by then I tried to be touchy after three hours of talking, mainly by carassing her hands and touching he cheek, it didn't take long until she came over and kiss me. We started making out by the beach and then she suggested we leave. There was resistance when we waited for the bus, she said "mine is this direction, yours is that" but I just stayed on in the same bus station and waited until her bus came which I hop on with her. I stayed calm and didn't react to questions like "Oh, you are still around bla bla bla" so in the end she rationalize the whole process by saying "oh so you are sending me back", which I just smiled and say yes. When we got into her place, we had a bit more chatting and banter. The rest was history and I came twice that night. The next day was equally well which we had a few more chats, walked down the park at her apartment and I left her by late morning heading back.

I had a good night's rest and the second night after my close I invited Cantonese girl to my place. I played in natural by just leading her to the subway and she started starring at me devilishly and started questioning me when am I leading her, she kept throwing questions at me, accusing me of a player bla bla bla, but still following me to my place nonetheless. I could only smile and say "yea, I am bringing you to the hotel" half innocently and half with a smirk. Once in the room she continued throwing questions at me such as if I have girlfriend or wife. She wanted to make sure that she was not in the way of any relationship and was fine with an open relationship, after we established the idea that it will be an open relationship, we started making out and then made love. After sex, we chatted a bit more, had simple dinner and parted ways.

Lessons learnt
I am extremely lucky to get back into the game and close two girls in the first week of May. It also helped me boost my confidence of opening four sets the day after the second lay, confidence breeds confidence. I was confident enough to open a tall girl which speaks Chinese - I mentioned before I have anxiety speaking Cantonese to girls, some issues with my ABC identity, that day I could briefly shed this anxiety and opened her twice, she avoided me once and I continued opening her the second time. I also opened three sets that day so I am happy that the momentum kept going.

Apart from a girl who studied in England, I realized most girls were not warm to day game in Shenzhen and Taipei, in fact that girl who studied in England I could create the chemistry because she was sitting and waiting at the hotel. I don't think I should create this stigma that day game is harder, so I am just making a statement but will not reduce my day game frequencies.

Due to my own issues, I have the idea of "Oh she is from Thailand, she must be easier to game", "Oh she is from Hong Kong, she probably looks down on me on my broken Cantonese, or think I am a return FOB" internal issues like this make me stereotype girls, which is not helpful. I should treat all girls equal, as do I treat all human being.

i can become physical more comfortably, back then I used to worry that girls will worry about my sweaty and cold palms, I still have such issues, but by being clearerer with logistics and maybe slightly more at ease, I didn't break into sweat the few times I became physical and it allowed me to touch at ease. I know this is weird for guys who has sweat issues, I have had palmar hidrosis which is a sweat syndrom since small. I still wonder if it's my mental state that caused this since I was a kid, for example my palms now are slightly sweaty even though I am in an air conditioned room.

So far in May I have approached about four sets. A notable set is the tall girl I mentioned in Hong Kong, and also a Brazilian girl sun tanning by my hotel pool. Both were flakes and politely ignore me but it also felt liberating to not be needy and just smile and walk away.
(This post was last modified: 05-06-2019 02:13 AM by BalanceLife.)
05-06-2019 02:11 AM
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BalanceLife Offline
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Post: #3
RE: A mid thirties journal
Time: 3 hours
Location: Mall strip, lots of foot traffic and tourist
Sets: 4

First set: 20s white girl
“Hi are you from around here or visiting” (clearly a tourist)
Girl “Visiting”
“Oh where are you from?”
Girl “Sweden”
Bla bla bla love Sweden, etc etc, I love your city bla bla
Girl “So we are going to Chiang Mai after this place”
Bla bla bla for 5 mins and bye.

Things I learn: when she said “we are going to Chiang Mai tonight ” I should have ask if it’s with her boyfriend so that I get her status immediately.

Second set: young teen shopkeeper, dark completions
“How much are these” gaming shopkeeper
“X price”
“Where are you from”
“South Africa bla bla bla”
“I love SA, I visited Africa bla bla” chat for 10 mins
I ejected, walked off and came back 20 seconds later and asked for her whatsapp, she wrote her number down and we chatted a bit more

Things I learn: I banter and chatted on in whatsapp but she realized she is only 18 so I am really unsure...I am twice her age, i told her that and she guessed I was 23. ADVICE NEEDED. She is replying to my text

Third set: 20s skinny girl
(Same routine) “So where are you from”
Girl “Ukraine, for holiday”
“Are you travelling alone”
Girl “ya”
She smiles but tries to walk away, I follow and bla bla I love Ukraine your capital is beautiful bla bla, she gave me her number.

Things I learn: I push ahead by being persistent, not pushy but enough to get her engaged the second time after she tried to walk off and it paid off with a number close. I felt more confident when she said she is from Ukraine cos I have had good experience with ladies over there, HOWEVER I need to learn to stop stereotyping as I will in turn feel inferior with girl type/country that I have less success with. Later I learnt that she works in bar and nothing happened

Forth set: late 20s Asian lady
“Hey where are you from”
Girl “Macau”
Bla bla bla, at that point I got really nervous cos I get nervous speaking in Chinese (Cantonese) cos I have to worry about speaking right (afraid of failure) and gaming. So I get nervous and stumble along.
Girl “I am married but since you are so nice let’s get a cup of coffee”
So we ended up on a 30 minutes coffee

Things I learn: was nervous to escalate by touching a little, cos I just wanted to keep the conversation going (as an ABC I have issues speaking Cantonese always worrying that if I don’t speak well people would assume I am Banana). The nice thing was she told me she is an air stewardess and we had a nice coffee session, exchanged number and eject - it was more friendly than tension - which was not good for gaming.

All in all three numbers closed out of four openings so I guess it is my better performing days. Since HK is a super international city I try to target non locals as they are more open to lay in their holiday trip here.

Today’s summary
Issues: wanted to open a few sets of older lady, late 30s and 40s (Some of the milf are hot) but am worried that they ask me to bugger off, can I call this milf approach anxiety?

I have a feeling that none of the sets will be a close. I didn’t really adhere to Roosh’s advice which is only number close when you guys are torn apart but at that circumstances it was already pretty good. At least for me it was more opening set than window shopping (which happened most of the time previously)
(This post was last modified: 05-14-2019 04:51 AM by BalanceLife.)
05-14-2019 04:48 AM
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outback Offline
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Post: #4
RE: A mid thirties journal
really enjoy this thread... high quality Game and aware of vulnerabilities.

18yo is surely looking for you to lead her, 18 is legal.
05-14-2019 05:36 AM
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BalanceLife Offline
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Post: #5
RE: A mid thirties journal
Mall stripe continued.....
Time:20 minutes
Sets: 2

I continued gaming after an early dinner at the same mall strip, opened two more sets in the span of 20 minutes - one girl from China and a pair from Indonesia. That’s all for today and I am calling a day well-spent because I challenged myself successfully to open 6 sets, a good number for me given it’s a day game.

I also realized a subtle change in girls’ reaction recently. The challenges I did were - NoFap, NoPorn, NoCaffeine, LowSugar. Not sure which helped but overall I feel that ladies’ complimenting me more than before.
05-14-2019 11:59 AM
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BalanceLife Offline
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Post: #6
RE: A mid thirties journal
These things resonate strongly after reading Roosh’s that I decided to share it

Try lots of different things
Instead of thinking, “I want to learn more about them because I want to get good at fucking them,” try this instead: “I’m going to try a lot of different things until I find out what works to get good at fucking them.”

Do the approaches
Do the approaches. You should be doing five day approaches every day and ten each on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights (do five each on Tuesday and Wednesday nights, if possible). This should come out to a minimum of 50 approaches for your stay. Because it’s so labor intensive, you have to eat right, get a full eight hours of sleep.

BalanceLife’s own comment: The above sentence is meant for a full day (holiday) spent on gaming, again it can be brought into daily life.

Learn the ability to talk for hours
You should be able to talk for hours without stopping. If a crowd wouldn’t form, you’re not interesting. There’s ways to become interesting, but it’s probably not by what you’re doing now.

Do not leave your spots
Do not leave your spot to meet up with a girl. She must come to you. I don’t care how lame the bar you’re at is or how much you like the girl or how sincere she seems in wanting to see you, but you must never relinquish home field advantage by going to where she is.

Make her think she’s not pretty
Make her think she’s not good-looking enough. When you’re with her in a night venue, point out a girl hotter than her and ask, “What do you think of that girl?” She will give her answer and then ask you if you think she’s hot. Poorly evade the question by hesitating for a few seconds and then saying something like, “Her high-heels are nice.” Tight game here is having a roaming eye on exceptionally beautiful women.

BalanceLife’s comment: have not done this, will try.

Make her think you will flake
Make her think you’re going to flake or stand her up. Take a long time to confirm dates, almost as if it was an afterthought. Then show up 15 minutes late, enough so that she texts you asking where you are. You’re doing it right if she’s visibly annoyed by the time you arrive. Tight game here is being forgetful, busy, or putting her last in a list of things you need to do.

Don’t exchange numbers
Rather, the number should only be exchanged when absolutely necessary, when the forces of nature will separate you and the only way you’ll ever see her again is if you get her contact information.

Finally,

Without struggle there is no man

Whatever good that happened to u is bad, and whatever bad that happened to u is good
05-18-2019 11:02 PM
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BalanceLife Offline
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Post: #7
RE: A mid thirties journal
Saturday bang

I went to the girl’s place. We met three years ago and back then she gave me a head job so was there to finish things off. A work done nonetheless, but has little to do with my journal progress since April - it’s a easy task without game.

I visited her apartment, talked for five minutes and started kissing for another five minutes, let her give me a head job and then we made love.

It’s an 8 which I wanted to close for a few years. Since getting back into the game early April and putting more effort and challenging myself more, I have closed four sets.

Sunday target practice

Today I open three sets, well it’s hardly an open for all three but more asking for directions, so rather uneventful day, but recording it nonetheless.

Set 1
Me “Are you familiar with this area?”
Girl “No”
Me “Any cafes to recommend”
Girl “You can go there, there’s a row of cafeteria” and she walks away

Set 2
Me “Are you working here” in a gallery
Girl “Yes”
Bla bla bla, no chemistry smiles and walk away

Set 3
Me “I think I saw u just now” which is true because she ends up in the same elevator as in the same hotel, after I saw her by the streets
Girl “Really?” Looks surprised and walks away

Observation:
The last time I game was a ltitle over a week ago but this Sunday practice felt soft and tired legs. I was not really opening and not as motivated. Is it because I just banged a set yesterday or AA set backed in so fast? Or maybe just preoccupied with work happening next week.
(This post was last modified: 05-19-2019 05:43 AM by BalanceLife.)
05-19-2019 05:42 AM
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BalanceLife Offline
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Post: #8
RE: A mid thirties journal
Some notes from Roosh’s Book

Don’t sit back
The temptation for some guys is to sit back and take occasional shots at the girls they especially want. So a guy has no prospects, gets one, fails with her, and then goes back to having no prospects. This strategy has two consequences: his game remains in a state of rustiness and he gets overly excited at the prospects that do come his way. With no harem to keep his cock golden and ego elevated, he devotes all his mental energy into one girl at a time. Bad, needy game leaks out as a result.

Fuck opener
The opener is the least impactful part of the pickup.

Don’t give a shit
I can’t tell you how important not giving a shit is. I never met a successful player who cared. The only problem is it’s hard to fake.

Alcohol is sex fuel
Ice cream dates are cute and sometimes fun, but if you’re going for speed, always get drinks. Just one drink increases the chance of getting laid by at least 50%. Alcohol is sex fuel, whether you like it or not.

Don’t compliment
You should never compliment a girl, until that time your brain tells you that complimenting her will get you in her pants faster. It may take a while for that to happen.

BalanceLife’s comment: still very unsure about this, somehow deep inside I still think we can create positive feeling type game, instead of just neg.

No Fap
If there is one thing that has transformed the attention I get from women it is no-fap and I've tried a boatland of things: working out, dressing better, nootropic stacks, different types of openers and venues, but no-fap takes the cake by an insane margin. It's so potent in terms of the positive attention you'll receive from random women, you'll think you've crossed the rubicon of sanity. As I'm writing this I can hardly believe what I've just experienced in the last few hours, it's that mental, it's that intense. I feel like wherever I go now, I'm a casino.

BalanceLife’s comment: how is this even possible? I think I just felt this too, but how?!
05-23-2019 03:51 AM
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