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Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #276
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-24-2019 10:17 AM)SeaFM Wrote:  I only got married because of the pregnancy.

I don’t feel like it changed anything. I’ve been with the child’s mother for 5+ years. It’s working pretty well.

I think the key to a successful relationship is just not listening to the jibber jabber. My wife talks, I pretend to listen with carefully inserted “yeah’s” and “mmhmmm’s” and “that’s crazy’s” and she pretends to listen to me when I talk.

It’s perfect.





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(This post was last modified: 08-25-2019 11:53 AM by PapayaTapper.)
08-25-2019 11:51 AM
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Post: #277
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
That’s awesome.

Having my kid is by far the best thing that happened in my life. Nothing is even close, and I’ve done a lot of cool shit.

I don’t see it as a burden. I see it as me doing what I’m on earth to do.

Being older is a blessing in one sense. I don’t feel like my child is cramping my style, or preventing me from doing anything. I already did what I wanted, when I wanted for at least 30 years. I’m diving head first into my new life and loving every moment of it.
08-25-2019 08:42 PM
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Post: #278
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-25-2019 08:42 PM)SeaFM Wrote:  That’s awesome.

Having my kid is by far the best thing that happened in my life. Nothing is even close, and I’ve done a lot of cool shit.

I don’t see it as a burden. I see it as me doing what I’m on earth to do.

Being older is a blessing in one sense. I don’t feel like my child is cramping my style, or preventing me from doing anything. I already did what I wanted, when I wanted for at least 30 years. I’m diving head first into my new life and loving every moment of it.

Yes. I had my first kid in my mid-forties. I don't know why everyone says having small children at my age is terrible. As long as you marry wisely and keep in shape, it's not a problem.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
08-26-2019 06:36 AM
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Post: #279
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-26-2019 06:36 AM)bucky Wrote:  Yes. I had my first kid in my mid-forties. I don't know why everyone says having small children at my age is terrible. As long as you marry wisely and keep in shape, it's not a problem.

I think a lot of people look at their parents and grandparents and see how broken down physically they were in their 50s/60s/70s and assume they'll be the same - to the point where they worry about the impact it would have on their parenting.

But lifestyles are much, much healthier now. Casual exercise/fitness just wasn't common in most of the Western World before the the 1980s, and smoking and drinking rates were through the roof. If you spend your 20s/30s/40s/50s not smoking, not drinking a huge amount, eating healthy and regularly exercising etc its possible to be very lithe into your 70s these days. And I would imagine in 30-40 years time things will be even better.

I have relatives in their 70s now who've lived very healthy lives who have more energy, and more physical ability, than co-workers of mine who're in their 50s who've spent 30 years abusing their body. Mileage on the clock is more important than the manufacturing date of the car in a lot of ways.
08-26-2019 07:04 AM
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Post: #280
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(07-31-2019 03:38 AM)RawGod Wrote:  There's a lot of perfectionism in this thread. It's not ideal to have young kids when you're over 45, it's awkward when your father in law is only a couple of years older than you, what if you die before you have grandkids, etc. I don't get it. Life is what you make of it. I'm a pretty scarred and patched up individual, I accept that. You just go on and make the best of the what you have in front of you. It's impossible to stay 30 years old with a hot young wife who will never age or divorce you. Seems like that's what some people are holding out for.

This forum has been about getting information out to help optimise your life and become aware of options you may not have known about. But this mentality can lead to a kind of paralysis where you want things to be perfectly optimised and guaranteed.

If nothing else, remember that you're going to die, and quite possibly not in the way you would wish. I've seen numbers of guys who have "done it right" check out suddenly, while the ones who have made a bunch of mistakes and lived a colorful path have known great 2nd and third acts in their lives.

I'm partly talking to myself here. I'm looking at finding a wife and having a family later in life - if it should go that way. It won't be perfect. I might stroke out from old age on my daughter's wedding day. I might get nasty looks every single day due to an age gap. I might get divorced instead of my wife looking after me in my old age. So what. I've lived with worse things than these fears every single day of my adult life and come through. That's life. Just go live it.

Well written my friend, a lot of truths in what you wrote.

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08-26-2019 11:26 AM
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Post: #281
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(07-31-2019 03:38 AM)RawGod Wrote:  I might get nasty looks every single day due to an age gap.

I love those. Few things sweeter in life, and it just means you're doing it right.

As long as we're not talking about a Macron-style age gap where she's a lot older than you.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
08-28-2019 06:47 AM
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Incubus Offline
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Post: #282
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
Here is a link about how millenial's are from The Atlantic magazine

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatla...le/596728/

Anyone over 38 (22 to 38 is millenial) is considered to have a good job and money and probably a house

I can fully understand why a guy who has made it in life and secure financially would want kids in his 40's 50's and Trumps case 60's

I can also see why millenial women would go for relationship with a steady Eddy over 40's and older

I know the mantra from the millenials was "old isn't cool" but that saying could be changing to "I want a friggin life"

To safeguard the financial aspects common law is best and from my own experience millenial girls prefer it (being a little shy about showing off the guy 20 yrs or older to her
friends/family)

My other finding with younger girlfriend/live in
was her eagerness to want to keep me secret by moving to another city where she could have "her life" more private. So be prepared to offer that up before she does (if relationship is getting very serious)

Finally 100 years ago people got married as teens and 20 years later after kids were born somebody died from old age in there 40's
So yeah have 10 kids in your 40's or whatever age....there is never a good time to have kids period...when your ready your ready

the avg life span is late 70's for men and beyond for those that really want to live longer
(look at Ruth Ginsberg she is really wanting to live...lmao)

Some scientists have discovered a way that women can delay menopause into there 50's and of course all the women are SO HAPPY about being mom at 55 ...... yet here us guys sit wringing our hands over old man fatherhood... hilarious!

............LIFE isn't a DRESS REHEARSAL.........
(This post was last modified: 08-29-2019 08:04 PM by Incubus.)
08-29-2019 08:00 PM
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Post: #283
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(05-08-2019 09:37 PM)gework Wrote:  I think a lot of problems with finding the right one is our own fault, or rather a certain part of our anatomies' fault. If you have a fairly-good looking girl who has all the right ideas about marriage and another girl who is extremely naturally beautiful and has fairly decent (EE) ideas on marriage, which will you choose?

Then there is the other thirst. The thirst of just one more girl, maybe one from another ethnicity, a super-petite baby, one with a coco-bongo behind...

Or thinking just a few more years. Given my situation I know I could wait 10-20 years and still pick up a fertile young girl. But at that point the market has narrowed. I'd mainly be looking at Asia, Africa or LatAm as possibles. EE would be much tougher at that point. And then you're looking at 20-30 year age gaps. It has it's strong appeal, but you know it's going to cause problems and be a bit weird; having your wife's teenage friends over when you're in your 40s or 50s.

I think a 10-15 year age gap is best. It's a manageable and satisfying seniority that shouldn't kill your social life as a couple.

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I agree on the 10-15 year age gap. Perfect, as long as you stay in shape and use game judiciously. Once I was in my thirties, most of my LTRs were at least close to a 10 year gap, and now that I'm in my forties my wife is 12 years younger.

I look back fondly on many of the women who were close to my age when I was younger but to see them now, post wall and with all I understand about women now, makes me glad I settled down after 40.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
08-29-2019 09:49 PM
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Post: #284
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
Be careful here Bucky
Working out is a personal choice as is eating or sleeping
Thinking at any point in life be it 18 yrs old or 100 that "because working out" I am a better this or that ...is wrong
Sex performance is 100% mental (unless medical)
I chatted with my neighbor the other day he looks good lives alone and maybe 78 ish ... long story from him (short for here) he said he doesn't like old women.
I thought to myself ... fuck I don't either
He said all he wants is a mistress somebody to screw
I said ...lots out there go get one
He said ... too old can't anymore
I tried to offer solutions ....get on a plane fly to countries were women appreciate a older guy...No can't
Get dressed up and go out....Don't have the money
Go to the gym.... No thats for young people
....this guy then tells me his biggest fear is dying alone in his home.....yet his mental state keeps him alone in his safe lonely isolated world

Mental barriers can become real....daily deadend routines will eat your life up. Western Societal approval is not coming for any older male that dares to think young female companion/girlfriend/life partner/wife

Keeping fit is good "personally" but the mental manure is the real problem break through that and find the "one" and no matter how long your dry spells...or previous bad performances...or your self doubts.....you will perform like a stallion (every day)

............LIFE isn't a DRESS REHEARSAL.........
08-29-2019 11:34 PM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-29-2019 11:34 PM)Incubus Wrote:  Mental barriers can become real....daily deadend routines will eat your life up. Western Societal approval is not coming for any older male that dares to think young female companion/girlfriend/life partner/wife

Keeping fit is good "personally" but the mental manure is the real problem break through that and find the "one" and no matter how long your dry spells...or previous bad performances...or your self doubts.....you will perform like a stallion (every day)

Nobody wants you when you're over 50, not even your own kids, they just want you to die so they can inherit.
This isn't a mental problem, this is reality, money can still buy you company but nobody really wants you any more.
(I could have probably put 35 years old and still have been 99% right)
08-30-2019 04:10 AM
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Post: #286
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 04:10 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  Nobody wants you when you're over 50, not even your own kids, they just want you to die so they can inherit.
This isn't a mental problem, this is reality, money can still buy you company but nobody really wants you any more.
(I could have probably put 35 years old and still have been 99% right)

I don't agree with that at all. My parents are in their late 60s, I'd still far prefer they live 20+ years more until their 80s than I inherit sooner. I thoroughly enjoy the regular time I spend in their company. And I know most of my close friends would have similar feelings about their family.

Theres far more to life than money.
08-30-2019 05:12 AM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 05:12 AM)zatara Wrote:  
(08-30-2019 04:10 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  Nobody wants you when you're over 50, not even your own kids, they just want you to die so they can inherit.
This isn't a mental problem, this is reality, money can still buy you company but nobody really wants you any more.
(I could have probably put 35 years old and still have been 99% right)

I don't agree with that at all. My parents are in their late 60s, I'd still far prefer they live 20+ years more until their 80s than I inherit sooner. I thoroughly enjoy the regular time I spend in their company. And I know most of my close friends would have similar feelings about their family.

Theres far more to life than money.

Yes, there are a lot of strange, defeatist attitudes on this thread, like the guy above telling me that being fit isn't important as an older guy. I'm with you, I love absolutely love my parents. They're in their 70s and I'd like them to be around another 50 years at least. I'm almost 50 and my kids adore me. I don't think that will change in a year or so when I hit that arbitrary number.

If you're middle aged and want children go for it if you've got the right woman in your life. There's nothing better in life. Don't listen to the voices that want you to die alone.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
08-30-2019 06:01 AM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
I feel sorry for you that you think that no one will want you past 50.

When my phone rings at a late hour, my heart races thinking that someone has died. I often get a stab of pain in thinking of my life without my parents. I know it will happen eventually, but I pray that they get to live as long as they possibly can.

The old neighbor who doesn't like older women is partially right. The only man who can love an older woman is her husband. To any other man, its gross. But to her husband, she is wonderful. The blinders are real. When I look at my wife through the eyes of a teenager, she is gross. Of course she is, its not natural for a teenager to lust over a mother in her 30's. Teenage boys and men up into their 40's should think older women are gross, as having a relationship with them is unnatural unless only for the sex.
08-30-2019 02:21 PM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 04:10 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  
(08-29-2019 11:34 PM)Incubus Wrote:  Mental barriers can become real....daily deadend routines will eat your life up. Western Societal approval is not coming for any older male that dares to think young female companion/girlfriend/life partner/wife

Keeping fit is good "personally" but the mental manure is the real problem break through that and find the "one" and no matter how long your dry spells...or previous bad performances...or your self doubts.....you will perform like a stallion (every day)

Nobody wants you when you're over 50, not even your own kids, they just want you to die so they can inherit.
This isn't a mental problem, this is reality, money can still buy you company but nobody really wants you any more.
(I could have probably put 35 years old and still have been 99% right)

I'm not quite sure how you came to the conclusion that people over 50 aren't desired even by their own kids.

Probably the most misinformed thing I've read in the past few years, to be honest. If something were to happen to them I would give up all the money I have just to see them again. Can't imagine them not being around to see me get married, have kids, etc.

Actually hurts to think about them not being around. Screw this thread.
08-30-2019 05:14 PM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
Don't overreact to a single and more than curious post form John D.

John, either open up and be truthful about what you are going through, or stop posting. That stuff is just silly. This will be the last time I even entertain such an idea as defeatist as that; especially since it is untrue. Then you even put 35? Man, that's beyond shock jock it's not even laughable, just ... weird.

Get this thread back on track or just leave it.

Get your passport ready!
08-30-2019 06:09 PM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 05:12 AM)zatara Wrote:  
(08-30-2019 04:10 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  Nobody wants you when you're over 50, not even your own kids, they just want you to die so they can inherit.
This isn't a mental problem, this is reality, money can still buy you company but nobody really wants you any more.
(I could have probably put 35 years old and still have been 99% right)

I don't agree with that at all. My parents are in their late 60s, I'd still far prefer they live 20+ years more until their 80s than I inherit sooner. I thoroughly enjoy the regular time I spend in their company. And I know most of my close friends would have similar feelings about their family.

Theres far more to life than money.

How much time did you spend with your parents last week? (Same question to everyone that dissed me)
One of the problems with posters is they state their fantasy of life, not their reality.
You may well love your parents, but I bet you don't actually spend much time (if any) with them. I'm guessing less than an hour (unless you're living in their basement).
Calls, messages, letters don't count, just time in their presence. I guess most of you just visit them for Thanksgiving, and that's it.

This is the reality of the western world.
Entirely different where I live now, kids often live with their parents all their lives.
The western world is broken, along with the people that live in it.

But back to the OP, "settling down at 40+"
Completely pointless as no woman wants a man over 40, she may want his money, pension, home, assets, but she doesn't want him. All he can do is lose his home and assets, better for a man over 40 to accept the life alone he has been dealt, associate with other men, or to move to another country where the laws don't allow a woman to asset strip him. Settling down (in the western world) is something you do in your 20s, after that it's really just too late.
(This post was last modified: 08-30-2019 08:33 PM by John Dodds.)
08-30-2019 08:07 PM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
^ Wow. I don't even know where to begin with that one.

I personally spend far more than an hour a week with my parents and I don't live in their basement. Plenty of people I know are the same way. And I have seen plenty of couples with men in their 40s dating younger women where it isn't all about the money.

You clearly have a very jaded worldview, and obviously you are entitled to that. But making strong broad generalizations like the post above doesn't send the right message.
08-30-2019 09:33 PM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 08:07 PM)John Dodds Wrote:  How much time did you spend with your parents last week? (Same question to everyone that dissed me)
One of the problems with posters is they state their fantasy of life, not their reality.
You may well love your parents, but I bet you don't actually spend much time (if any) with them. I'm guessing less than an hour (unless you're living in their basement).
Calls, messages, letters don't count, just time in their presence. I guess most of you just visit them for Thanksgiving, and that's it.

This is the reality of the western world.
Entirely different where I live now, kids often live with their parents all their lives.
The western world is broken, along with the people that live in it.

But back to the OP, "settling down at 40+"
Completely pointless as no woman wants a man over 40, she may want his money, pension, home, assets, but she doesn't want him. All he can do is lose his home and assets, better for a man over 40 to accept the life alone he has been dealt, associate with other men, or to move to another country where the laws don't allow a woman to asset strip him. Settling down (in the western world) is something you do in your 20s, after that it's really just too late.

Damn man, this made me really sad...for you.

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08-31-2019 12:31 AM
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RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 08:07 PM)John Dodds Wrote:  
(08-30-2019 05:12 AM)zatara Wrote:  
(08-30-2019 04:10 AM)John Dodds Wrote:  Nobody wants you when you're over 50, not even your own kids, they just want you to die so they can inherit.
This isn't a mental problem, this is reality, money can still buy you company but nobody really wants you any more.
(I could have probably put 35 years old and still have been 99% right)

I don't agree with that at all. My parents are in their late 60s, I'd still far prefer they live 20+ years more until their 80s than I inherit sooner. I thoroughly enjoy the regular time I spend in their company. And I know most of my close friends would have similar feelings about their family.

Theres far more to life than money.

How much time did you spend with your parents last week? (Same question to everyone that dissed me)
One of the problems with posters is they state their fantasy of life, not their reality.
You may well love your parents, but I bet you don't actually spend much time (if any) with them. I'm guessing less than an hour (unless you're living in their basement).
Calls, messages, letters don't count, just time in their presence. I guess most of you just visit them for Thanksgiving, and that's it.

This is the reality of the western world.
Entirely different where I live now, kids often live with their parents all their lives.
The western world is broken, along with the people that live in it.

But back to the OP, "settling down at 40+"
Completely pointless as no woman wants a man over 40, she may want his money, pension, home, assets, but she doesn't want him. All he can do is lose his home and assets, better for a man over 40 to accept the life alone he has been dealt, associate with other men, or to move to another country where the laws don't allow a woman to asset strip him. Settling down (in the western world) is something you do in your 20s, after that it's really just too late.

Man, this is so sad.

My wife adores me and she lets me know it every day. I was over 40 when she met me (she's 15 years younger than me). We have 3 kids together and I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. I'm 53 now, she's 38, we met 10 years ago. My kids adore me also, they don't want me to die. My eldest are already in their late twenties and they need me because they will be taking my businesses over from me, but we are having a great time right now as I'm teaching them the ropes.

My wife cooks me a hot breakfast every single day, and when she's not at work (she's a nurse) she will make me lunch also. Dinner's up for grabs, we eat out a lot, but she will make that too when pressed.

I can't spend much physical time with my parents, as one lives in the U.K., the other lives in the Netherlands, and I live in Panama. I see them both every single year when I go to Europe with my family, so I do what I can do. I certainly do not rely on either of them for an inheritance, I made one myself to pass on to my kids.

Stop projecting the small life you have envisioned for yourself onto other people.
08-31-2019 01:29 AM
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Post: #295
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
Just to echo what other posters have noted, life over 40 is really what you make of it. With all due respect John, I think it's absurd to think you become a "leftover" man after 50. After everything you've built in life, one you hit 50 it all of a sudden becomes nullified? Hard to believe that, even as a younger guy.

A grandfather - assuming he's not the typical boomer slob - is generally a respected member of the family and the local community. Even some of my more elderly uncles are seen as wise figures. When one reaches that age, having lived well and created a big family, they exude a certain familiarity and charisma that only seasoned, older men can provide. In a word, they become the patriarchs.

From your posts, both here and on RoK, I know you've been to hell and back with divorces and the like, but to say that your only value at that age is as a provider is just plain silly. I'm sorry that your perspective is jaded from your experiences, but I can assure you that as an older man you bring much more to the table than just your finances. I recommend some soul searching, definitely helps put the twilight years into the right perspective.
08-31-2019 02:10 AM
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zatara Offline
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Post: #296
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-30-2019 08:07 PM)John Dodds Wrote:  How much time did you spend with your parents last week? (Same question to everyone that dissed me)
One of the problems with posters is they state their fantasy of life, not their reality.
You may well love your parents, but I bet you don't actually spend much time (if any) with them. I'm guessing less than an hour (unless you're living in their basement).
Calls, messages, letters don't count, just time in their presence. I guess most of you just visit them for Thanksgiving, and that's it.

This is the reality of the western world.
Entirely different where I live now, kids often live with their parents all their lives.
The western world is broken, along with the people that live in it.

But back to the OP, "settling down at 40+"
Completely pointless as no woman wants a man over 40, she may want his money, pension, home, assets, but she doesn't want him. All he can do is lose his home and assets, better for a man over 40 to accept the life alone he has been dealt, associate with other men, or to move to another country where the laws don't allow a woman to asset strip him. Settling down (in the western world) is something you do in your 20s, after that it's really just too late.

I see my parents physically at least once, sometimes twice a week, so probably in the region of 5 hours a week in their company. And I talk to them every couple of days via phone or the family WhatsApp group, about life stuff, or politics, or even just stuff like the weather.

Almost every person I know sees their parents at least once a week, for a few hours, if they live in the same city as them. Long family Sunday lunches/dinners are pretty much the default for most people's Sundays.

About half the people I know from school, college or work live in their home city. I'd say another 25% live within a 3 hour journey, so are home visiting their parents(and home friends) roughly once a month. Its only the long distance expats who don't see their family regularly, but they don't see their friends either - its a lifestyle choice, not a broken family unit.

It sounds like you might have had a terrible relationship with your parents, but that is not the norm at all - in the Western World or elsewhere.
08-31-2019 06:00 AM
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questor70 Offline
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Post: #297
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
You know, the population as a whole is graying and that trend is only going to continue. Unless everyone wants to stay celibate, they're going to have to be a little less perfectionist. What I've noticed is that the tight correspondence between beauty and chronological age branches off around 40 depending on how well people take care of themselves.

For instance, anyone see the newest Terminator Dark Fate trailer? Linda Hamilton did everything in her power to get into shape for the movie but the damage was done by her bipolar heavy-smoking lifestyle. Her voice has gone the way of Lucille Ball and she's got a terrible turkey-neck. Yeah, she's over 60 now but she didn't have to look so bad. She just didn't. Now if you recoil in horror at the first wrinkle this line of argument is a waste of my time, but just saying there is a wide variability in how people can look as they age.
08-31-2019 09:08 AM
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Post: #298
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-31-2019 09:08 AM)questor70 Wrote:  You know, the population as a whole is graying and that trend is only going to continue. Unless everyone wants to stay celibate, they're going to have to be a little less perfectionist. What I've noticed is that the tight correspondence between beauty and chronological age branches off around 40 depending on how well people take care of themselves.

For instance, anyone see the newest Terminator Dark Fate trailer? Linda Hamilton did everything in her power to get into shape for the movie but the damage was done by her bipolar heavy-smoking lifestyle. Her voice has gone the way of Lucille Ball and she's got a terrible turkey-neck. Yeah, she's over 60 now but she didn't have to look so bad. She just didn't. Now if you recoil in horror at the first wrinkle this line of argument is a waste of my time, but just saying there is a wide variability in how people can look as they age.

Absolutely. Even women can look pretty good into their 50s with decent genetics and a lifetime of taking care of themselves. It's just that so few do make much effort to take care of themselves that we don't have a good sample size to draw from.

Guys? If from your youth you never picked up smoking and excessive drinking and you stay fit and eat properly, you should be fine at 50 and beyond.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
08-31-2019 12:21 PM
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Post: #299
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-31-2019 06:00 AM)zatara Wrote:  It sounds like you might have had a terrible relationship with your parents, but that is not the norm at all - in the Western World or elsewhere.

I didn't have any relationship with my parents, I was away at university at age 19 and they were dead by the time I was 22, before I got back.

I'm just deducing from observing the old white folk I knew and their children.
My Brit wife hated her parents, they were allowed to visit 1 week a year, and that was it. I was OK with them, she wasn't, it appeared they were too poor for her and she found them an embarrassment (although that's only a guess).

The general UK rule appeared to be the wealthier your parents, the less you went to see them as an adult. All the older middle classes, especially the divorced men, were completely alone.
08-31-2019 08:03 PM
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John Dodds Offline
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Post: #300
RE: Dangers of "Settling Down" at 40+
(08-31-2019 01:29 AM)Brother Abdul Majeed Wrote:  
(08-30-2019 08:07 PM)John Dodds Wrote:  This is the reality of the western world.
Entirely different where I live now, kids often live with their parents all their lives.
The western world is broken, along with the people that live in it.

Man, this is so sad.

My wife adores me and she lets me know it every day. I was over 40 when she met me (she's 15 years younger than me). We have 3 kids together and I have 2 kids from a previous marriage. I'm 53 now, she's 38, we met 10 years ago. My kids adore me also, they don't want me to die. My eldest are already in their late twenties and they need me because they will be taking my businesses over from me, but we are having a great time right now as I'm teaching them the ropes.

My wife cooks me a hot breakfast every single day, and when she's not at work (she's a nurse) she will make me lunch also. Dinner's up for grabs, we eat out a lot, but she will make that too when pressed.

I can't spend much physical time with my parents, as one lives in the U.K., the other lives in the Netherlands, and I live in Panama. I see them both every single year when I go to Europe with my family, so I do what I can do. I certainly do not rely on either of them for an inheritance, I made one myself to pass on to my kids.

Stop projecting the small life you have envisioned for yourself onto other people.

So in reality your life is exactly as I described.
You aren't living in the western world, and you hardly ever see your parents.

This is actually a perfect example of the reality disconnect I see all the time.
(This post was last modified: 08-31-2019 08:10 PM by John Dodds.)
08-31-2019 08:09 PM
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