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Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
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shakeitt Offline
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Post: #1
Lightbulb Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
This thread is for discussing how to respond to a girl when she asks you "do you have instagram" or any variation of the following:
  • You don't have instagram?
  • What? Why don't you have instagram?
  • No instagram? Well how do I know you're you / a real person then?
  • I don't text, I use Instagram
  • etc

The thing is, young women (18-22) are increasingly using IG for various things:
  • texting / video chatting
  • verifying your social status to see if you can back up your game
  • etc


And it's really fucked.

The thing is, now she has time to look you up on social media...and if you give her either a shitty IG profile...or none at all, there are a few scenarios that could kill your chances...

1) She might not like what she sees on your IG...or basically she will see you're not as cool as you're portraying... (even if you are a superstar...girls are increasingly using IG as the metric to determine your social status...)

2) She might wonder why you didn't hand out your IG -- if this is the direction you go --- and be creeped out...or too nervous about meeting up with you again ("what is he hiding?")

I think the two consequences above can be avoided.

First, I do think that men who want to bang young 18-22 year old women (without hiring them Tongue) should build an instagram account, if even just 5-10 DHV pics, sort of like Tinder...

But if not...then let's talk about the other way: overcoming the request for your Instagram if you don't have one, or it's not that great, or you want to delay giving her your account for various reasons.

Here's some questions / objections / shit tests and rebuttal ideas:

Girls says:

"Do you have instagram? / What's your instagram? / Why don't you have Instagram?"

or

"I want to make sure you're a real person. How do I know you are who you say you are without IG?"

You say:

"I don't have one. I'm not really into social media, I prefer the real world (smile as to seem confident and kinda smug but not crusty and jaded) I'll take your number though..."

or

"I get it, but don't you trust your own eyes and ears over photoshopped exaggerated highlights of someone's life that they want you to see? I'm right here in front of you...what more do you want to know? Shoot Wink"

or

"I'm actually doing a social media fast right now, it's this 30 day challenge me and my friends are doing...ever tried that before? (blah blah...now you seem like a unique guy who is doing a cool challenge / is more worldly...now you have some conversation going and you've dropped a little DHV'ing into it)"

or

"I'd love to connect on Instagram, but I don't just give my IG out to random people. I have to get to know better first...hey what are you doing tomorrow afternoon?" (this frames you as the prize...she's chasing you...you need to vet her first...flips the frame)

or sort of an alternate of the previous one

I don't actually give my IG out to girls I just met...I had this crazy stalker / ex gf stalking me recently...she was messaging all my friends telling them we were madly in love...she even messaged my mom and told her we were getting married! Haha, but maybe after I know you're not a crazy stalker Smile (continue gaming / go for number close instead)

Let's hear your thoughts guys.
(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019 10:28 AM by shakeitt.)
05-12-2019 10:27 AM
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joseph15 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
I think you're overanalyzing this. Just say you don't use it. Don't critique or undermine others for using it, and don't start a discussion on why Instagram is unhealthy/bad/stupid/etc.

If someone really insists on knowing why, you could just say you don't care for social media, or you're not that type of person who cares about documenting their life, or you don't have time for it. Always say less than necessary, if you're giving her a university speech on why you don't have Instagram, you've already lost.
(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019 11:44 AM by joseph15.)
05-12-2019 11:41 AM
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Zenta Offline
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RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
I had a girl(24) ask me for my instagram at the bar friday night, I told her I don't have Insta and snap as I'm trying to reduce my social media usage and she said "I respect that". I took her phone and put in my number and texted her instead. Its that simple. If a woman gives me real shit for not having instagram or snap I honestly couldn't give one fuck about it or her.
05-12-2019 01:05 PM
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Post: #4
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
As Joseph already said, you seem to be overanalysing this. If a girl asks for instagram I just say no I don't have it, thats all. If they ask why I usually just say I don't really use social media or I don't have time for that stuff. Then thats the end of it.
I think if a girl isn't going to give you the time of day because you don't have instagram, she isn't really worth pursuing in the first place.
05-12-2019 01:36 PM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
There's already a thread on this.
05-12-2019 01:52 PM
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shakeitt Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
I get where you guys are coming from.

I really do.

But more and more, girls are interpreting "I don't do social media" or a lack of an Instagram presence as "I don't have a cool life worth sharing."

This is not the age of Facebook anymore.

It's so easy to take great, quick photos and videos and post them....even if it's just 5-10 photos and you don't constantly post new stuff...

I think that's why the implication of a lack of a social media presence is more damning.

Now I'm all for determining your own reality...being your own man...not becoming a social media addict.

But high value males have cool photos and videos of them...or have teams that take shots of them . Adding to their social value.

It's not that you're lower value inherently by not having that... it's that you're being compared to other good who are willing to put their personality on the line online...and thus it's easier to point to the guy who has social proof readily available on IG...and comparatively you're lower value in comparison...

Yes there are girls who will appreciate a rebellious attitude toward social media...but that might be harder to build your value with her when she can get access to the highest value males on the planet on IG (who have set the new standard of alpha as a guy who has a killer IG)..

And is also simultaneously getting validation from every beta in her messages...increasing her real and perceived sexual market value....

There will always be a pocket for a guy who is refreshing with his unapologetically negative attitude toward social media...but those pockets I feel are decreasing until perhaps the pendulum finally swings the other way and it becomes cool to not be on social media...which I feel is 7-10 years out or so...and based on that assumption...I'd rather be on the upswing of the trend on both sides....
05-12-2019 01:55 PM
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redbeard Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
The stern and direct "I don't use social media" line is the winner, but it's even more effective if you build it up with a joke.

"What do I look like, a 13 year old girl?"

"No, I got banned for posting about Trump."

"No, I got kicked off for posing with too many half naked bikini models."

"Why, so you can make sure I don't have a secret girlfriend?"

Then say "nah I'm just kidding, I don't use social media. Give me your phone #."

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05-12-2019 02:33 PM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
I dont have IG i'm not a gay makeup influencer.

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05-12-2019 04:10 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
"Do you have instagram? / What's your instagram? / Why don't you have Instagram?"

"I'm not seeking attention like most girls."

Did you hear that sweet sound? This the panties that just dropped.

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(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019 04:17 PM by ksbms.)
05-12-2019 04:16 PM
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Zenta Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
(05-12-2019 01:55 PM)shakeitt Wrote:  snip

I think you need to decide what you're looking for from these girls. Are you just looking for a quick lay with an 18-22yr old? Then increase your chances and get a tailored Instagram and use it only for that purpose of giving it out to them to show some sort of perceived SMV value and get in their panties. The sad reality is that social media game is real and if you want to just bang these girls your chances go way up if you play it too.

If you're looking for something more of a LTR then congratulations, you don't want any of these sluts that wont talk to you because you don't have instagram anyways.

I'm at an age where I'm starting to look for a LTR instead of casual lays. The only social media I have now is FB(Which I plan to severely continue neutering my friends list more than I already have) and if a girl doesn't like that then even better, I don't want to waste a minute of my time on her.
05-12-2019 04:31 PM
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shakeitt Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
I think you're onto something. That is what I'm looking for right now...casual sex with no expectations ...and 18-22 yr olds tend to want the same thing...and be more attractive to me in various ways...thus if I have to spend 30 minutes a week to post some photos and vids to maximize my chances...so be it.
05-12-2019 04:52 PM
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dirty_old Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
The "problem" is not your line/response, you are just overanalyzing. I guess this might vary regionally for example whatsapp or other chat apps are mandatory in some parts of the world, its possible instagram could become mandatory in some countries as well (if/where girls dont always have phone service and are often texting over wifi etc, for example).

It's not close to that point yet from anything I've experienced even with the 18-21 crowd.

The way I see it those very few girls who might have been "willing" to give you the instagram but wouldn't cough up the digits were not serious prospects anyways. It is a "soft" rejection, and a way for her to gain followers. Win-win as far as she sees it.

Sure with a top 10% instagram you might be able to sway a rare few of these, perhaps, but not worth it.

I've personally never had ANY issue with either humor/teasing or straight up response to this the few times girls even brought up instagram in a cold approach type scenario with me. I've never had any issue at all. Maybe that's because it's congruent with my personality/approach or whatever, but the "truly don't give a fuck" attitude will always be attractive to (most) girls and i don't see things changing for me personally.
(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019 08:58 PM by dirty_old.)
05-12-2019 08:55 PM
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felix_vagabondo Offline
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RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
It's a good thing that she is asking.

It's either an IOI or a shit-test, which is a form of IOI

Hence, whether you do or do not give her a profile does not matter.

If it's an IOI, then just take it as a compliment that she is interested and enjoy your moment to bask in her affection.

If it is a shit-test, then let her know that it is up to her to justify why you should give her access to your social media.

You don't give it out to every Jane Doe.

You could make fun of her very gently by saying something to the effect of

"Why, so you can fill my news feed with all your salacious photos?"

Attempting to justify your decision makes you look like you care about her opinion, which is needy.

You don't want to give it to her (unless it's a dope profile that increases your perceived value)

What matters is that you fully own your decision and do not sell yourself out.


Keep a hold of the narrative.

I would avoid the immediate pivot to phone number.

Address the shit-test.

She needs to know that your frame is strong enough that you can fully own the decision not to connect on social media.
(This post was last modified: 05-12-2019 09:14 PM by felix_vagabondo.)
05-12-2019 08:58 PM
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Barron Online
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Post: #14
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
Troll

This is op's 9th thread about IG this week.

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05-13-2019 01:08 PM
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shakeitt Offline
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RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
(05-13-2019 01:08 PM)Barron Wrote:  Troll

This is op's 9th thread about IG this week.

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05-13-2019 01:26 PM
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travolta Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
Build a life that's interesting enough so you have cool stuff to post on IG, or just tell girls you don't have one. I don't see why this is such a big deal. I have an IG and I post cool stuff on it, lots of girls will comment like "I saw that you visited X location." You are seriously overanalyzing this. Your mental energy is better used towards making money. Build up your IG account so it can somehow contribute to your business, stop posting stupid threads.
05-13-2019 02:05 PM
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shakeitt Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
(05-13-2019 02:05 PM)travolta Wrote:  Build a life that's interesting enough so you have cool stuff to post on IG, or just tell girls you don't have one. I don't see why this is such a big deal. I have an IG and I post cool stuff on it, lots of girls will comment like "I saw that you visited X location." You are seriously overanalyzing this. Your mental energy is better used towards making money. Build up your IG account so it can somehow contribute to your business, stop posting stupid threads.

^This guy advices
05-13-2019 02:41 PM
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rudebwoy Away
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Post: #18
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
My job doesn't allow me to have social media.

I had to a security check to get the job.

What do you do for work?

I rather not divulge that at this point.

Our New Blog:

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05-13-2019 06:10 PM
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lunchmoney Offline
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RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
If you are worried that a 18-22 year old GIRL won't be into you because of your IG profile, you have far worse issues than just getting laid.
05-13-2019 06:14 PM
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felix_vagabondo Offline
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RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
(05-13-2019 06:14 PM)lunchmoney Wrote:  If you are worried that a 18-22 year old GIRL won't be into you because of your IG profile, you have far worse issues than just getting laid.

It should go without saying that 18-22 year old girls, relative to those same women at a later time in their lives, are more fertile and thus in general closer to the upper end on the scale of sexual marketplace value.

If you want to write off the finest trophies in game in order to please your taste for mature companions who have their lives figured out... fine by me. I'll be hanging out over with the crazy daddy-issue drama princesses who like to party and whose firm, lithe bodies and glowing skin make my manhood stand up and my imagination run wild.

The question of how to game very young women is thus of extreme interest, and it's an important topic to discuss.

It just so happens that social media is not a useful or necessary tool in this pursuit. But still, these are precisely the questions that players should be contemplating.
(This post was last modified: 05-16-2019 07:13 PM by felix_vagabondo.)
05-16-2019 07:10 PM
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compgeek718 Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
I just tell her I don't use social media and proceed to ask for her number. Instagram is a safe space for attention whores and I side-eye grown men who really believe that's it some hidden goldmine to score chicks.

Also, contrary to popular belief, the more handsome you are, the less interesting you need to be to women. Tyson Beckford could talk to a woman for an hour about paint thinner and still get in her pants.
05-16-2019 07:41 PM
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Mentavious Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
What’s Instagram?

A man is only as faithful as his options-Chris Rock
05-16-2019 08:13 PM
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tugofpeace Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
"Sorry I don't give out my instagram to people I just met, but you're welcome to have my number"

Using this means you just negged her as lower value for saying she's not worthy of having your instagram yet, and you also put yourself in a higher position by allowing to her have your number because YOU are the prize, not her, and you put the ball in her court. Now she has to initiate.

Only way this can backfire is if she says she doesn't want your number.
(This post was last modified: 05-16-2019 10:57 PM by tugofpeace.)
05-16-2019 10:55 PM
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felix_vagabondo Offline
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RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
(05-16-2019 10:55 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  "Sorry I don't give out my instagram to people I just met, but you're welcome to have my number"

Using this means you just negged her as lower value for saying she's not worthy of having your instagram yet, and you also put yourself in a higher position by allowing to her have your number because YOU are the prize, not her, and you put the ball in her court. Now she has to initiate.

Only way this can backfire is if she says she doesn't want your number.


The girl asking for your socials "needs to feel you out" before she can decide whether she wants you.

That means you haven't yet established enough value. You're not showing off the best parts of your personality, but rather letting the conversation get bogged down in this petty bullshit about an IG profile.

Turn her request into the opportunity to make fun of her while insinuating that social media is for losers and you're capable of showing her a way better time than she could ever hope to enjoy with a plastic smartphone.

But you're not dying to give it away or desperate. Only the girls who please you and earn your admiration are going to get the opportunity to be savaged by you.

Offering up your phone number tells her that you have less value, since its an overt expression that you already approve of her.

Tell her a long, ridiculous story about how your buddy got stalked via Instagram by a drug-addicted prostitute who thought he was the baby daddy. If she's at all interested in you, she'll be amused and simultaneously offended, and the internal tension or drama will captivate her.
05-16-2019 11:22 PM
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Bogart Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one
Context is everything here.

Asking for an IG of an older guy can be a shit test, a combined rejection and harvesting of value, or a subtle offer of a socially acceptable means of progressing seduction at a more opportune time.

The golden rule with your response shouldn’t be to use a canned line. Show congruence and frame. The only way this will fail you is if you feel less than you should because you don’t have IG. Maybe that is fair. E.g if you’re a high energy, life of the party dude or you want to find a new avenue for connecting with younger people on their terms. In which case go fix it so that you are who you think you should be.

Your anxiety about gen z and social media (evidenced by the multiple threads you started) isn’t unfounded. Yes that’s their new medium - sliding into the DMs is a great way to interact with chicks in a low investment manner and to do recon to calibrate seduction. But chasing after women is generally an unwise decision if it comes at the cost of your sense of self, and should be of only moderate importance to you unless literally everything else in your life is where you want it to be.

TLDR; thread is pointless. The only actionable advice is: get IG or answer the question in a way that expresses the IDGAF attitude stopping you from joining the masses and proceed normally.
05-17-2019 12:11 AM
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