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Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
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copperwire Offline
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Post: #1
Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
This is one of the strangest aspects of male female attraction. The extreme ends of the continuum evoke such similar responses from women.

Ugly guys: women are repulsed, angered, they want to get away from these men, avoid them. These guys create extreme discomfort and a very strong emotional reaction overall.

Very good looking guys: oddly, when women are over-aroused, they exhibit a lot of the same behaviors and physiological responses at least superficially speaking. This is because many women are uncomfortable having a strong sexual response immediately, except in very specific situations.

In most situations: work, school, daytime chores, etc., most women want to maintain the facade that they are not feeling strong attraction towards a man. So when they are attracted, and the more strongly attracted, they harder they will fight their own physiological response.

As a result, they will often avoid very good looking men, try to get away from them, become angry, flustered, etc. I am often amused and sometimes embarrassed, seeing women lose control in all kinds of situations where I have done nothing besides show up.

What's annoying is that there are fewer restraints on women's behavior than ever. You can't tease them, you can't correct them. The best you can hope for is that their initial wave of anger blows over and then they are ready to hang out, become comfortable (enough) with you, acknowledge their own attraction until they are willing to submit sexually.

I just had to vent about this. Women are really getting more and more out of control, and it's astonishing that we don't really have any practical way of controlling them.
05-22-2019 11:55 PM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Yep this happens to me all the time
05-23-2019 12:48 AM
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Bogart Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
I’m guessing you’re a young guy who’s still figuring it all out.

You’re expressing some troubling views that sound a bit incel/Eliot Rogers ish. This sounds like the kind of thing I could have thought when I was a fair bit younger. You’re probably not bad looking but aren’t very well calibrated socially and don’t have much experience with women. Thats fine and easy to fix and something we all generally go through at one point or another.

Step one is for you to realise that the only thing you can control is yourself not women. Stop expecting them to love you outright and start doing things that make you love yourself. Do that and you’ll stop noticing if they act a certain way around you - and start experiencing what it’s like for a women to be very attracted to you.

Some women are undoubtedly uncomfortable around attractive men. A minority of the Uber feminists tend to even be aggressive if they realise the guy is out of their league. But it has way more to do with how the guy acts and treats others and himself. Good looking guys that have high esteem and confidence don’t get or take shit from women, and often they’re treated very well. I’ve experienced it and seen it - it’s called the halo effect by science.

Aspire to improve your SMV through tools provided on this incredible forum; but also to do the things that will make you happier and more confident generally as an individual (sport/writing/rock climbing etc) and you’ll start to experience this as well.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 01:03 AM by Bogart.)
05-23-2019 01:01 AM
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copperwire Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
^^LOL, way off base. It's hard to imagine how strange the situation is until you experience it first hand. Carry on.

Let's Eliot Rodger meme because. smh.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 01:12 AM by copperwire.)
05-23-2019 01:11 AM
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Shifty Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Is this something you made up in your head or actually seen in the real world? Seems like some angry rant to me.

The only women who act like that towards "very good looking guys" are probably fat feminists, and even then I bet they would treat the ugly guy worse. (Assuming both guys have the same personality).
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 01:37 AM by Shifty.)
05-23-2019 01:25 AM
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Post: #6
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
I think the OP is actually on to something. I don't know if I'd put it as them treating you like you're ugly, but I've found it to be a pretty common theme throughout my life that certain women act really hostile towards you if they're immediately attracted to you, almost as if you're some kind of threat or they have to prove how unattractive you are to them.

It's usually pretty clear to outsiders, especially other women, what's really going on. I'd often run into some girl who immediately started being hostile and noticed bystanders (esp other women) would make comments that she obviously wants to fuck - that's what initially clued me in as a youngster. So I think this has an archetypal element in our culture.

I'm not sure if this is somehow specific to Western culture (I don't notice it as much in Asia), but back in America I'd often run into girls (especially in bars and at parties) who'd immediately be antagonizing and hating on me. I found that if I could jut be playful about it and not get too annoyed, we'd often hook up after they had a couple more drinks or at some later date.

Some of them would later comment on what an "asshole" they supposedly thought I was when they first met me.

To be clear, I'm not a bad-looking guy, but I'm not saying I'm "very good-looking" either. I do put off a real aura of self-assuredness, though, that can be pretty polarizing for some people, in one way or the other.

I remember when I was a bartender, on some nights a fatter or older woman would post up at the bar and spend her whole night staring at me and trying to start a psuedo-argument just to get my attention, which became really annoying while trying to help other customers. every time you'd talk to someone, they'd have something to say.

I sent one fleeing out of the bar in tears one time when I turned to a good-ole boy drinking beer beside her and referred to her as a "silverback." Big Grin

Caveat: I find these types of birds, hot or not, to end up being way more drama than they're worth. I think they have some kind of revulsion-impulse tied to their own attraction and part of them actually does resent you at the same time that they want you. This isn't always the case, but I've learned the hard way plenty of times by not steering clear of these angry birds.

My buddy and his girlfriend back in CA had a roommate once that treated me this way for years, and it became so overbearing I stopped coming by his house. Then she'd get a couple drinks in her and make "jokes" about trying to get me in her room. Again it was clear to everyone what was really going on and a sense of endless amusement that she turned into such a basketcase around me.

I would have been happy to bang her, but I know it would have only made my life worse. I banged her sister and her friend that lived in the apartment upstairs instead. Wink

Other times I haven't been quite so controlled.

The behavior may be linked to your personality type. If you're an attractive man (to her) and you seem cocky/arrogant, that could explain the visceral reaction.

Beyond All Seas

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To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 01:50 AM by Beyond Borders.)
05-23-2019 01:33 AM
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Shifty Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Beyond borders, while I agree that can happen sometimes if you are good looking + have an "alpha" personality, I would consider that behavior to be another form of shit test. Now let's be real, very ugly guys don't get this treatment, they are simply not noticed.

There is simply nothing similar about being a very ugly man vs a very handsome one.

The very ugly guy 99% of the time will be ignored and receive the minimal amount of attention.
The very handsome guy will sometimes receive negative attention, the girl might go out of her way to shit talk you just to prove something, but she still engages you, talks about you.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 01:45 AM by Shifty.)
05-23-2019 01:43 AM
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copperwire Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Increasingly, we're living in a man hating culture. Anything positive about masculinity is therefore increasingly likely to evoke a negative response. In other words, female biology is wired to feel strong positive emotions towards an attractive man. However, women are now taught that men are evil, and therefore being attracted to men is evil.

This is the internal turmoil I am referring to: biological instinct vs clown world indoctrination. I waver between bemusement and annoyance when I see it, which is often.
05-23-2019 02:00 AM
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Shifty Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
(05-23-2019 02:00 AM)copperwire Wrote:  Increasingly, we're living in a man hating culture. Anything positive about masculinity is therefore increasingly likely to evoke a negative response. In other words, female biology is wired to feel strong positive emotions towards an attractive man. However, women are now taught that men are evil, and therefore being attracted to men is evil.

This is the internal turmoil I am referring to: biological instinct vs clown world indoctrination. I waver between bemusement and annoyance when I see it, which is often.

I still fail to see the point you are trying to make. No matter how "man hating" the culture is, the top men will always be treated better (Looks, fame, wealth).

In fact I would argue there has never been a time to be a top man thanks to hypergamy, the ones getting fucked over are the "average" men who are disregarded by women in favor of the top 20%.

Ugly guys do not get treated the same as good looking guys.

I think you are either most likely have some weird ideas in your head/personality issues that causes women to be angry at you.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 03:06 AM by Shifty.)
05-23-2019 02:13 AM
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Post: #10
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
An artifact of Western culture, whose women I've given up on trying to figure out.

When I was a kid, some neighborhood girl my age or a year older would kick me every chance she got. Of course I didn't like it, but others pointed out to me that it meant that she liked me. At the time, it made no sense to me. One day, I got tired of that shit so I kicked her back (despite everyone having told me that you should never ever ever hit a girl). She was shocked in an oddly delighted way, as if she was thinking "wow! finally! I didn't think you had it in you to dish it back towards my shitty behavior!"

Psychos.

EDIT: That was more than 25 years ago. If this happened today, I would have been arrested and tossed into juvie.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 02:45 AM by CleanSlate.)
05-23-2019 02:39 AM
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Montrose Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
I agree with OP. For example in movies, successful romantic relationships often start with a conflictual situation between the lovers.

Sometimes on first dates I meet a girl who, when she sees me, looks annoyed, eye rolls, bites her lips, frowns. Usually I interpret it as a sign of interest. She is frustrated, and looking for a way to attract attention from a man whom she’s not sure she can seduce. Happened to me last month; fucked her on fourth date. OTOH, if I meet a girl and she looks surprised when she sees me, it’s usually a bad sign.
05-23-2019 03:08 AM
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
^ Yep, a woman's emotional wet dream.

Girl meets bad boy. Bad boy instantly annoys her. What a prick he is for existing! But this time it's "different." He has that "something" about him that gets her emotions running especially high. She can't just ignore him like she can the other assholes she comes across.

Then, lo and behold...she starts to recognize a soft and caring side of him lurking underneath that confidence and tough, antagonistic, or just stoic, exterior he puts on. Then she "tames" him and brings out the actualized man inside. The man only she could have brought out of him (i.e. she's special).

How many movies did I just describe?

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To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 03:27 AM by Beyond Borders.)
05-23-2019 03:18 AM
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subterfuge Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
I love this thread because I can tell myself for a second that my harsh rejections (of which I get a fair few) are because i'm so handsome! Smile

However, not buying it unfortunately. My wing is like model handsome and despite his lack of game, i'd put him up against any top PUA/coach I've ever seen lol. His results are insane. (Usually girls approaching him though, tbh. IN fact, almost always. Don't think he's got the balls too approach. I've maybe seen him open 3 sets in a decade!)

My journal : https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57783.html
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 04:43 AM by subterfuge.)
05-23-2019 04:14 AM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Yeah my 6'4" elvis lookalike wing man gets nothing but derision and rejection as well....

/s
05-23-2019 04:36 AM
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The Stronger Sex Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Being a Supreme Gentleman is not the easy ride simple mortals think it is.
05-23-2019 05:17 AM
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brazilian Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Looks are pretty deceiving, put yourself on these women's shoes...
How many times you were walking down the street and saw an 10 and had 100 thoughts about her personality without even knowing her name?! " She is a gold digger ", " She is into rich man " and so on...
Its part of the human protective instinct to make guesses about people based on their looks.

Everytime that Im surrounded by familiar females I see that their notion of beauty is really different from my male friends. Women rules the fashion and beauty market so they know from miles away what is behind all your clothes and manners.
05-23-2019 05:27 AM
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IAMSEXY Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
what a load of fucking shit.
just go out.
05-23-2019 06:12 AM
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Tanapiko Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
When we get soft rejections, does it mean they pity us?
05-23-2019 06:48 AM
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IAMSEXY Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
(05-23-2019 06:48 AM)Tanapiko Wrote:  When we get soft rejections, does it mean they pity us?

No.
05-23-2019 06:52 AM
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Tanapiko Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
^^^ that we average folks and we do not deserve extreme reactions?
05-23-2019 07:10 AM
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The Stronger Sex Offline
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
I don't tend to provoke repulsion in women. Does that mean I'm average?
05-23-2019 07:39 AM
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Happens to me all the time. Don't wanna humble brag but what OP says is true. Ive had girls openly confess they don't wanna smash because they think I'm too good for them (which I am). Girls in the 5-6 range are very hesitant because they can't believe I actually wanna plow em.

Imagine this situation... A sexy blondr big titted 18 yr old virgin walks up to you strips naked and tells you to fuck her in the middle of a crowded room. You would be hesitant.

Does she have aids? Why would she pick me over Chad right beside me? You would be suspicious. This is how girls feel when I either talk to them on tinder, as a warm up at a bar or whatever.

Even girls who are in the top tier feel it occasionally. Even if they have massive fake tits they're still insecure little hoes who know their only value stems from their slut body and even had to put in implants so people would notice em.

My dad who is a fucking legend told me the shit was happening to him too when he was a young buck.

Anyways. Here is the solution for you OP. You need to be super humble, don't DHV yourself, don't use Negs. Talk to everyone INCLUDING THE FUGLIES so that the pretty girls won't be scared to talk to you. Women hate gettiing rejected and the fact that you talk to a fugly makes it more possible you would talk to them if approached.

My 2cents for you.
05-23-2019 09:36 AM
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Even if you're not very good looking, you can easily experience what the OP is talking about (or at least, something very similar) by being directly flirtatious with fat/ugly chicks. They are in disbelief that a guy out of their league seems to be going for them, so they react in all sort of negative ways. Ironically enough, you get better reactions from these girls by acting like a shy self deprecating male soyboy type (not my personal experience, but it's something RSDTyler wrote about in one of his early forum posts). You need to get on their level, so to speak.

There's a reason attractive male celebrities sometimes go the "I'm really just a sensitive shy feminist who thinks women are just amazing" route. It makes someone who is normally 'out of your league' come off as more accessible. The same kind of phenomenon applies when an attractive woman (even a mildly attractive one) exhibits geeky or even autistic traits, making them seem more accessible to lower value men.

So OP, if you're really massively good looking, try playing the shy self deprecating guy around these girls who initially react negatively, and see if it helps.
05-23-2019 10:37 AM
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RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
(05-23-2019 02:39 AM)CleanSlate Wrote:  An artifact of Western culture, whose women I've given up on trying to figure out.

When I was a kid, some neighborhood girl my age or a year older would kick me every chance she got. Of course I didn't like it, but others pointed out to me that it meant that she liked me. At the time, it made no sense to me. One day, I got tired of that shit so I kicked her back (despite everyone having told me that you should never ever ever hit a girl). She was shocked in an oddly delighted way, as if she was thinking "wow! finally! I didn't think you had it in you to dish it back towards my shitty behavior!"

Psychos.

EDIT: That was more than 25 years ago. If this happened today, I would have been arrested and tossed into juvie.

I once had a girl in grade school throw a dirt clod at me because she liked me.

A few years ago I banged her daughter as payback

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05-23-2019 10:48 AM
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Post: #25
RE: Strange Irony of Attraction: Very Good Looking Guys Treated Like Ugly Guys
Ok this is why when you’re extremely good looking you can be super nice and don’t need to be a dickhead nearly as much as other guys.

There will be obviously times you do not take shit and maintain frame etc etc

But, girls will be much more sensitive to cues you put out.

It is more about keeping girls comfortable, staying cool, having a laugh and not fucking it up.

It is absolutely a different game when you are brutally handsome. Very easy to adjust to though.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 12:52 PM by elRey.)
05-23-2019 12:52 PM
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