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Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
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Bill Oreilly Offline
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Post: #1
Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I have found a foreign virgin from a good family, and I am already reaching the twilight of my game career. She seems like a good prospect for marriage of the type I won't find easily again so I've decided I'll try to angle it in that direction. I'm around a couple of months in, I've taken her virginity already and she is falling in love with me.

Here is the problem. As I have done with every girl all my life (I never took them seriously), I lied from the start about several key things: My name, age, occupation, nationality and background. I am confident I can keep these lies going as long as necessary. Obviously if I had known it was going to be a long term prospect I wouldn't have lied but I did so now I have to deal with it.

If it is going to lead toward marriage she has to find out the truth eventually. I am not keen to do any reveals until she is deeply pairbonded and I have her by the balls completely. Another problem obviously is that once it gets serious she will tell her family about me and it will be even harder to get out of the pickle, but telling her now before she is deeply pairbonded may be in itself a great risk.

However here is the crux of the matter: What is the smartest way to reveal these things to her? The most intelligent way to maximize damage control. I'm thinking perhaps I can wait until I propose to her and she is deeply pairbonded then make the reveals (come up with some excuses) and the positive/negative emotions will make her leaving me less likely. Another idea I had is to perhaps make the reveals gradually, plant seeds etc.

If you were in this situation and had to come up with a really really smart way of doing this to maximize the chances of a good outcome, what would it be?

EDIT: The motivation for these lies in the first place were prior convictions and history she could have found by googling me. They were necessary in order to be in this position in the first place, and I have used them from the start of my game career to great effect. A girl is more likely to overlook these things if deeply in love with you than on the first conversation (in short flings it doesn't matter, and I have even had LTRs that I wasn't going to marry where I kept the lies going for years). I am not so much worried about her criticizing my past convictions (a girl in love doesn't care about this), but it will be a huge shock to her my name and background were lies. That is why I need an intelligent way to make these reveals.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 04:58 AM by Bill Oreilly.)
05-23-2019 04:13 AM
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RatInTheWoods Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I'm glad I would never, never be in that situation.

I hope she reacts the same way I would if a woman I was dating squared off with me and told me everything she told me was a lie, and all that the relationship was founded on was a deceit.
05-23-2019 04:34 AM
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Bill Oreilly Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 04:34 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I'm glad I would never, never be in that situation.

I hope she reacts the same way I would if a woman I was dating squared off with me and told me everything she told me was a lie, and all that the relationship was founded on was a deceit.

Come on man, what kind of male feminist response is that? Haven't met many serious players who are morally indignant about lying to women.

Without these lies I wouldn't have been able to take her virginity. Now I just need a smart way to fix the problem.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 04:44 AM by Bill Oreilly.)
05-23-2019 04:42 AM
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Montrose Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I don’t understand. What’s the point of these lies? Why would you lie about your name and nationality? (Age I understand, but lying on your name sounds pathological). What is the downside of telling the truth now? Will she find out dark things about you like prior convictions and fraudulent bankruptcy?
05-23-2019 04:45 AM
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Bill Oreilly Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 04:45 AM)Montrose Wrote:  I don’t understand. What’s the point of these lies? Why would you lie about your name and nationality? (Age I understand, but lying on your name sounds pathological). What is the downside of telling the truth now? Will she find out dark things about you like prior convictions and fraudulent bankruptcy?

That is correct, prior convictions and history she could have easily found by googling me. The lies were fundamental to even be in this position right now. I think she is far more likely to overlook these things if deeply in love than on the first conversation, but the reveals have to be done in an intelligent way and that is what I am seeking advice for. I am not worried about her criticizing the convictions themselves, a girl in love doesn't care about these things, but rather about the shock of everything else being a lie.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 04:59 AM by Bill Oreilly.)
05-23-2019 04:52 AM
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Pytonga Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I can understand age - funnily I have got exactly same problem with my current FB -especially that her ex is younger then me...and she brags how old he was Smile

but Name and nationality. Why?

Take into account that sooner or later she is going to tell her girlfriends and family about you and after this it is going to be difficult to her to swallow truth about real age, name and nationality..
But make sure that she is deeply in love first.
Keep me posted - interesting post
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 04:55 AM by Pytonga.)
05-23-2019 04:54 AM
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Barron Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 04:42 AM)Bill Oreilly Wrote:  
(05-23-2019 04:34 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I'm glad I would never, never be in that situation.

I hope she reacts the same way I would if a woman I was dating squared off with me and told me everything she told me was a lie, and all that the relationship was founded on was a deceit.

Come on man, what kind of male feminist response is that? Haven't met many serious players who are morally indignant about lying to women.

Without these lies I wouldn't have been able to take her virginity. Now I just need a smart way to fix the problem.

If you're right, and she's in love with you, she'll do whatever mental gymnastics are needed in order to continue the relationship.
Like all women in love, the truth is relative to their emotions. Any facts that happen to be inconvenient to her emotional state will simply be dismissed, assuming she feels strongly enough for you.

Let her find out the truth on her own. When she confronts you about it and she's angry, you'll know it won't matter as:
The degree of her anger = The degree of her love

Simply pass it off as her being creepy/stalky and finish with some one-liner like, "have I ever intentionally hurt you?" And proceed to fuck her with passion. All will be well.

It's amoral but it also happens to be the truth, and it's also why I no longer have any problem lying to women I'm pursuing. Facts simply mean nothing to them.

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05-23-2019 04:56 AM
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Montrose Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
Well your problem is not exactly how to reveal your lies. It’s more how to hide your past.

It doesn’t really matter how long you lie or when you tell. What matters is how she will react to the real you. This is very difficult to predict. My advice would be to tell the truth know. No matter how much in love she is, the deciding factor will be the nature of the hidden facts.

Alternatively you could try to perpetuate the fraud forever. It’s complicated but probably not impossible. It’s highly unethical though.
05-23-2019 04:58 AM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
Unfortunately it's sometimes necessary to lie, even about your name.

When deciding what you want to lie about and what you want the lie to be, you should also make sure that you come up with a plausible reason for lying (the reason that you will give, not necessarily the real reason), which will make you look good. Ideally one that is partially true. Also the lie itself should have a grain of truth in it. All of this will make revealing the truth easier if it becomes necessary. Ideally you should think this through early on (before you start lying).

Why not go through all your lies and try to find "reasons" that are both understandable and make you look good, and then reveal the truth gradually. But I would suggest telling her your real name as soon as possible. Telling someone that what they thought was your name isn't really your name is risky, and not good for trust. Your name is very personal. Leaving a long time before revealing that is a bad idea.

Maybe you could say that the name you gave is one that some people call you, so you'd be left with a minor lie but one that is inconsequential.

You could also say that you've had issues with trust blah blah blah and that's why you lied, but that she's so different to all the others (flatter her) that you just have to tell her the truth.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 05:03 AM by Vladimir Poontang.)
05-23-2019 05:00 AM
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Bill Oreilly Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 04:58 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Well your problem is not exactly how to reveal your lies. It’s more how to hide your past.

It doesn’t really matter how long you lie or when you tell. What matters is how she will react to the real you. This is very difficult to predict. My advice would be to tell the truth know. No matter how much in love she is, the deciding factor will be the nature of the hidden facts.

Alternatively you could try to perpetuate the fraud forever. It’s complicated but probably not impossible. It’s highly unethical though.

Not worried about a girl in love caring about convictions. The lies are because women judge these things on first impression. What I am worried about is the shock of name/nationality/background being a lie. Hence the need for an intelligent way to reveal.
05-23-2019 05:00 AM
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Bill Oreilly Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 04:56 AM)Barron Wrote:  
(05-23-2019 04:42 AM)Bill Oreilly Wrote:  
(05-23-2019 04:34 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  I'm glad I would never, never be in that situation.

I hope she reacts the same way I would if a woman I was dating squared off with me and told me everything she told me was a lie, and all that the relationship was founded on was a deceit.

Come on man, what kind of male feminist response is that? Haven't met many serious players who are morally indignant about lying to women.

Without these lies I wouldn't have been able to take her virginity. Now I just need a smart way to fix the problem.

If you're right, and she's in love with you, she'll do whatever mental gymnastics are needed in order to continue the relationship.
Like all women in love, the truth is relative to their emotions. Any facts that happen to be inconvenient to her emotional state will simply be dismissed, assuming she feels strongly enough for you.

Let her find out the truth on her own. When she confronts you about it and she's angry, you'll know it won't matter as:
The degree of her anger = The degree of her love

Simply pass it off as her being creepy/stalky and finish with some one-liner like, "have I ever intentionally hurt you?" And proceed to fuck her with passion. All will be well.

It's amoral but it also happens to be the truth, and it's also why I no longer have any problem lying to women I'm pursuing. Facts simply mean nothing to them.

Quote:Unfortunately it's sometimes necessary to lie, even about your name.

When deciding what you want to lie about and what you want the lie to be, you should also make sure that you come up with a plausible reason for lying (the reason that you will give, not necessarily the real reason), which will make you look good. Ideally one that is partially true. Also the lie itself should have a grain of truth in it. All of this will make revealing the truth easier if it becomes necessary. Ideally you should do this early on.

Why not go through all your lies and try to find "reasons" that are both understandable and make you look good, and then reveal the truth gradually. But I would suggest telling her your real name as soon as possible. Telling someone that what they thought was your name isn't really your name is risky, and not good for trust. Your name is very personal. Leaving a long time before revealing that is a bad idea.

Maybe you could say that the name you gave is one that some people call you, so you'd be left with a minor lie but one that is inconsequential.

You could also say that you've had issues with trust blah blah blah and that's why you lied, but that she's so different to all the others (flatter her) that you just have to tell her the truth.

This is what I'm thinking. Both your points are correct. A girl in love will perform any mental gymnastics she has to in order to continue the relationship. And there also has to be a plausible reason these lies took place. I'm thinking if I wait until the deep pairbond is complete and then I come up with some reason I had to absolutely tell her these lies (like for instance the nature of my "dangerous job", for her "security" etc.) this could indeed be a smart way of making the problem go away completely.
05-23-2019 05:06 AM
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lika91 Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I would play asshole game here.

About the name, you can say it is a nick name, when it comes to the fact that she will see your passport or official documents.

Age and nationality, just wait for the moment she asks something about your country and then say 'uhhhm im not from there?' like it was her mistake. Same with the age. The less importance you give to it, the less she will. Jut play it cool. If she doesnt accept it, well then you have to live with it. But why would you bring such drama in your life and yourself in a position to be soooo sorry (when you are actually not, because you are asking how to solve this issue and not how to solve your stupidity of lying about little things)?
05-23-2019 07:05 AM
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DarkTriad Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
The way to deal with lying is often waiting until she's completely in love with you, then a pre-emptive break up. She'll keep asking why and begging to get back together, you eventually tell her you can't have a relationship based on lies. She says no lie is worth giving up what you have, then you tell her that you can't be together because you lied about your age. She'll say it's no big deal and beg to have you back. This is powerful, but I have no idea of it's strong enough to overcome multiple lies about a whole identity.
(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 07:40 AM by DarkTriad.)
05-23-2019 07:37 AM
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I think an important factor is what the convictions are for. Stealing bread to feed a starving family or child porn? If you can come up with some kind of romantic bullshit story that explains how you were wrongly convicted, etc it's going to go down much easier.
05-23-2019 08:43 AM
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I love a good liar. Don't ghost on us like others, OP! Update till you win! Or lose Banana
05-23-2019 12:05 PM
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Deepdiver Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 07:37 AM)DarkTriad Wrote:  The way to deal with lying is often waiting until she's completely in love with you, then a pre-emptive break up. She'll keep asking why and begging to get back together, you eventually tell her you can't have a relationship based on lies. She says no lie is worth giving up what you have, then you tell her that you can't be together because you lied about your age. She'll say it's no big deal and beg to have you back. This is powerful, but I have no idea of it's strong enough to overcome multiple lies about a whole identity.

I have used a variant of this myself - was dating a girl for a couple of years on weekends who was incredibly naive about sex and life in general however she had her successful father and medically trained mother's High IQ and would have been above average wife material. During this time I had my Tuesday and Thursday night Divorcee who kept my manly needs satisfied. Until the FWB Divorcee with no kids after two years decided to drop an ultimatum no more slumber parties if I did not start showing up on the weekends (Surprised it took two years).

Anyways not wanting to gamble on a big Virgin Maybe versus a sure twice a week or more thing...

I decided to execute a takeaway on the Virgin and told her about my sordid military hit and run past with women and that I was nowhere as perfect as she imagined... And that we need to stop seeing each other as I cared for her and her family too much. To my surprise, she put on a full court press driving to my place every Friday after work and learned how to give me a Shower and Soap massage that I like.

When the divorcees ultimatum finally went into effect that's when the virgin's cherry was broken and she bonded like Gorilla Glue for several good Years - unfortunately because I gave her a new found sexual awareness she went AWALT and her seemingly once good girl loyalty waned as I gave her an ultimatum after 5 years time to get married and move in together and raise a family.

Unfortunately, her parents did not want to see their only princess daughter move away so I stuck to my guns and moved on as pretty much a serial monogamist until the new ones would eventually AWALT on me.

Bottom line is the takeaway move where you are taking yourself away from a relationship where she has actually fallen in love with you - they can overlook almost anything just to keep you in their lives - then you have to transition to Wife game a combination of actual caring provider and occasion Asshole Dread game to keep her from straying along their path of natural hypergamy.

Break her in and guide her right - execute a clean takeaway move and she might remain loyal for decades.

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(This post was last modified: 05-23-2019 01:05 PM by Deepdiver.)
05-23-2019 12:59 PM
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I'd agree with other posters :
1.don't over think it...
2. Make a point to bring up the name thing asap. that is a hard lie for anyone to swallow and the longer you wait the harder it becomes. the suggestion to say the name she knows you by is a nickname that friends call you etc is a good one. Her reaction to this will tell you how you can proceed with the other lies.
3.Lies/reveal with a grain of truth of course would initially make the most sense. Maybe you had a crazy ex stalker you were trying to get away from? A criminal record/different nationality could turn into some crazy story about "witness protection"?...probably a stretch and avoid telling more lies if at all possible (especially elaborate ones that are hard to remember details of) but just throwing things out there.
4. Making a semi-"dramatic" show about how you have something "terrible" you need to tell her or you need to break up with her (perhaps, but not what I'd do) could be another good suggestion for age/past criminal history or etc. Tell her you need to talk. Somehow let her stew on it for awhile. She will think you're going to break up with her or her mind will go to worst case scenario so when you tell her, for example, your real age, no big deal.
5. Nationality maybe you can play off as something like you lived in the country you claim to be from for awhile, or you were working on getting citizenship from there and it fell through, or something like that, perhaps. or see above hiding from crazy stalker ex.
6. Criminal record I'm not sure if I'd bring it up. She may never google you and you can cross that hurdle if/when it comes up.
7. Asshole approach also would work, just act like she shouldn't care, tell her you love/care about her, hold your frame and avoid drama / unnecessary discussion at all cost.


So in the past you were able to sustain multiple year relationships (mentioned above) giving girls a different name? How did this work, I'm just curious.. were you just protective of your ID, only really hang at your place never going out together, or what?
(This post was last modified: 05-24-2019 10:06 PM by dirty_old.)
05-24-2019 09:59 PM
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the.king Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
You need to bring yourself in a position where you don't need to lie about your name/nationality/background (at least). Not just for this girl but in general.

If there is negative information about you on the web do something about it (hire people to suppress it, upload positive things to drown it, etc).

If its impossible to whitewash things then consider changing your last name if needs be. Use your real first name and a fake last name for the short term. Anyway its easier to explain a different last name in the short term.
05-25-2019 05:45 AM
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818 Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
I guarantee you, it wouldn't matter to her one bit. Well, maybe would be as hurtful as a mosquito bite.

She's invested in you (emotionally, mentally, and with time) too much.

Leave you over this? I'm willing to bet you ANYTHING you want that IF the feelings that she's projecting is genuine and she doesn't actually NOT have romantic feelings towards you and is only with you for ulterior motives, then none of what you've hidden from her will matter. You could be a serial killer and she'll rationalize, in an instant, that it's OK to be with you. At most: change you.

Actually, it might even have her love you more because this new information will only create new feelings. Whether the feeling is negative or positive is irrelevant. Only the intensity matters. The more emotions you create, the more she's hooked.
When you should worry is when you're NOT creating emotions anymore.

That being said, don't tell her. Don't have a "we gotta talk" session. That'll just make it serious when, as far as you know, it might in actuality not even be that big of a deal to her.

Let her find out herself. And when she does, chances are, she won't even confront you or mention them. You probably won't even know when exactly she found out because there would be no changes in her demeanor.
(This post was last modified: 05-26-2019 04:58 AM by 818.)
05-26-2019 04:40 AM
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EndsExpect Offline
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RE: Smartest way to reveal lies to LTR
(05-23-2019 05:06 AM)Bill Oreilly Wrote:  This is what I'm thinking. Both your points are correct. A girl in love will perform any mental gymnastics she has to in order to continue the relationship. And there also has to be a plausible reason these lies took place. I'm thinking if I wait until the deep pairbond is complete and then I come up with some reason I had to absolutely tell her these lies (like for instance the nature of my "dangerous job", for her "security" etc.) this could indeed be a smart way of making the problem go away completely.

If you want something serious with her, then you should be upfront and honest as soon as possible. The longer you drag it out the more likely it is to become a problem. If she finds out on her own at some point it shoots your credibility and she will always wonder what else you are hiding.

Unless your conviction is for child molestation... what you did will sound shady but understandable. If you are a kiddie didler... this isn't the forum for you anyways.
05-26-2019 09:36 AM
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