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Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
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StrikeBack Offline
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Post: #26
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
Distant Light, with all due respect, just because you had a bad relationship doesn't mean that we all suffer from the same.

Also, here's why men are interested in finding a good wife: legacy, meaning children, and grandchildren etc. their family line. It's a concept that the bonobos do not understand, but men do.

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05-28-2019 07:15 PM
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Post: #27
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
What are you doing in this thread Distant Light?

You seem to have a habit of dropping in on wife hunting threads to tell people that they're dumb for wanting monogamy.

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05-28-2019 07:47 PM
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Post: #28
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
@Endsexpect hahaha @hippie BS, as I always say...

Experience > Belief,/Theory/Idealism

Sorry to say monogamy is "no movement" forward beyond self-sacrifice for KIDS. However, tons of IN NEED KIDS who need adopting so that aspect is void.

Humans been having issues since hunters & gatherer days. Power, Control, Manipulation...We have evolved into data collectors for sake of marketing. All most everything revolves around cutting corners, exploitation & keeping humans deluded with entertainment & trinkets...

It isn't moving forward for things beyond scope of this thread...

Bonobos = Peaceful & higher quality than average human

@Strikeback & Geoman as you just stated the same ole EGO purposes "legacy". What legacy? How do you know your family tree is "solid". One ottoman ruler had 1,000+ kids...Some UK royalty had 11 illegitimate kids...Have you heard of the churches in spain where 300k+ newborns were displaced sent to churches for orphanage?

It is this selfish " seperation" of humans that spawn such dysfunction...

My "relationship" would've been IDEAL for the typical redpill, from society standpoint I had the perfect relationship.. A self-deluded fantasy bubble of 2. However I PERSONALLY value consciousness growth over 2 people in deep love alienated & waiting to die all to say "I have a loving wife & family". It is no wonder people tolerate the arguing, melodrama & stress because they don't know what true peace happiness & joy is.

Thing is, prior to experience I had no one mentioning BE SKEPTICAL and warn me. Just a bunch of deluded people lying. If it were all FUNCTIONAL every pro-monogamous person would have 1-2 relationships and reach IDEAL. It is hilarious people are serial daters.

Look at history, look at older men...Broken men who settled with the backwards rationalization of " family". Men who are lying to themselves. Men who have regressed, stuck in a mental rut for decades and at the gates of death as there is little room to grow anymore.

Fact is humans in general are low quality. I wouldn't be so blunt if I hadn't experienced happiness, joy & peace. If I ever truly feel need for "kids" I know there are millions of orphans who need direction...They are already here stuck in "the BS"

While I may be extreme, I understand some have affinity for "monogamy". Life for them can be a 24/7 hanging out bliss till death. Is what it is...

However, it is funny as THIS is some hippie shit, we see it in he world everyday. People in monogamy living a lie. Type in sex in google section and look how much dysfunction is going on...

P.S...Show me 1 pure loving monogamous relationship that is void of arguing, melodrama, controlling, manipulation...And transcended both parties into unconditional love, happiness, peace & joy with this reality and those around them.

P.S.S...Although yes earlier in such topics was sort of trolling...I am being 100% GENUINE. If I am still alive 2/5/10/15 years from now PLEASE email me your success story in monogamy where there is 0 arguing, melodrama, social stress. Redpill is already on a bad footing due to innate controlling & manipulation. Out of respect for ex I never can go into details BUT she preferred the redpill man way. A fast track to isolation, stagnation and no life outside the delusionary bubble...I'll stick to the so called hippie BS as past experiences yielded happiness peace joy & immense growth.

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05-29-2019 09:30 AM
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StrikeBack Offline
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Post: #29
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
Distant Light, there is nothing Red Pill about letting your family line and your genes come to an end, and raising other people's kids even as heart warming as in the orphan adoption case. As you like to make the case that we are like animals, well animals have survival and reproduction as their #1 missions in life. If you are not reproducing, you are not Red Pill. The alpha in the animal pack isn't the one dying with no offsprings, the omega is. Roissy/Heartiste would often say something like "the God of biomechanics does not care about your hamster". Whether you believe in God, or nature, or biology, or Red Pill philosphy, you are the ultimate loser in this game of life if you do not have children and your genes end with you.

You are clearly struggling for meaning in your life, you are not growing despite what you are trying to tell yourself. You are delusional if you think every man who has built and led a successful family is broken and lying to himself. Otherwise, I don't see why you are jumping into this thread where it clearly does not suit your desired lifestyle, and there is nobody here condemning it either.

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05-30-2019 01:10 AM
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MichaelWitcoff Offline
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Post: #30
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
The real answer, and the one that many don't want to hear, is that marriage isn't for everyone and just because you want a wife doesn't mean it's the path for you. St. Paul specifically says he would prefer if everyone could be celibate like he is, but makes the concession that if you can't control your lust, then it's better to have sex within a marriage than to be a fornicator or adulterer. He further writes that if you're unmarried when you devote your life to God, you should not seek a wife but remain as you are.

He gives the same exhortation to women as he does to men - basically "whatever you are, stay that way." This is one of the many passages of the Scriptures that Protestants like to pretend doesn't exist, because the culture of their churches tends to be very marriage-and-family focused and they have absolutely zero emphasis on monasticism / asceticism. In fact they have zero monasticism, period, and would probably even argue that it's wrong or bad somehow.

All this stuff about "but the monkeys do this or that" is just a rationalization to be enslaved to one's basest instincts without putting the work in to overcome the animal in us to become fully human (or at least, MORE fully human). It's an anti-civilization argument, since as Freud said (and forgive me for quoting him), "It is impossible to overestimate the degree to which civilization is built on the renunciation of instinct." And there's an irony in "polyamorous / PUA guys" who whine that women's destructive instincts are tearing our society apart, when they're engaging in the exact same behavior.

To make a long story short, a spouse and family is in God's plan for some people and not for others. If you really put your trust in God to lead you down the path that's best for you, give up your own design and humbly say "Thy will be done." Whether His will for you is marriage or consecrated celibacy, it will benefit you far more in the long run - literally for eternity - to give up your own desires to the greatest extent that you're capable of doing so, and put your life in His hands instead. I know people don't want to hear this answer, but read the Scriptures and Church Fathers and you will see that it's the one most in line with ancient Christian thinking. Cheers

Return Of Kings contributor and best-selling author of "On The Mason And Their Lies."
(This post was last modified: 05-30-2019 04:58 AM by MichaelWitcoff.)
05-30-2019 04:55 AM
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StrikeBack Offline
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Post: #31
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
Unless you're an asexual like St Paul, the rest (99.99999%) of us who have a sex drive should marry and make babies, as God commands. Yes it is in His plan for nearly all of us, not "some", with very few exceptions. The modern Churchians keep twisting this to sound like God gives them a "gift of singleness" when it's simply due to their poor social skills and low attractiveness (self sabotage) that they are failing to attract a mate. If you find the opposite sex attractive still, that is God telling you that marriage and children are on the card for you. He designed you that way for a reason.

Also, Paul said "burn with passion", that is not lust. Lust is desiring someone else's spouse. The Bible is very specific on sexual sins, with clear cut examples given for each of them. "Passion equals lust" is yet another lie that the anti-sex Churchians came up with to justify why their marriage sex life is horrible. God gives us sexual passion so we may marry and be fruitful, and marriage gives the perfect moral context for us to exercise our passion.

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Post: #32
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-30-2019 07:10 PM)StrikeBack Wrote:  Also, Paul said "burn with passion", that is not lust. Lust is desiring someone else's spouse. The Bible is very specific on sexual sins, with clear cut examples given for each of them. "Passion equals lust" is yet another lie that the anti-sex Churchians came up with to justify why their marriage sex life is horrible. God gives us sexual passion so we may marry and be fruitful, and marriage gives the perfect moral context for us to exercise our passion.

So is it ok to notice that a woman looks good and look at her lustfully but without any intention of trying to have sex with her? Is it ok to go out of your way to spend time noticing? I don't want to criticize Jesus but maybe he could have made himself clearer. Then again what he said was translated into other languages, so maybe it was clear, who knows.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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05-31-2019 04:32 AM
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Shifty Offline
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-30-2019 04:55 AM)MichaelWitcoff Wrote:  The real answer, and the one that many don't want to hear, is that marriage isn't for everyone and just because you want a wife doesn't mean it's the path for you. St. Paul specifically says he would prefer if everyone could be celibate like he is, but makes the concession that if you can't control your lust, then it's better to have sex within a marriage than to be a fornicator or adulterer. He further writes that if you're unmarried when you devote your life to God, you should not seek a wife but remain as you are.

He gives the same exhortation to women as he does to men - basically "whatever you are, stay that way." This is one of the many passages of the Scriptures that Protestants like to pretend doesn't exist, because the culture of their churches tends to be very marriage-and-family focused and they have absolutely zero emphasis on monasticism / asceticism. In fact they have zero monasticism, period, and would probably even argue that it's wrong or bad somehow.

All this stuff about "but the monkeys do this or that" is just a rationalization to be enslaved to one's basest instincts without putting the work in to overcome the animal in us to become fully human (or at least, MORE fully human). It's an anti-civilization argument, since as Freud said (and forgive me for quoting him), "It is impossible to overestimate the degree to which civilization is built on the renunciation of instinct." And there's an irony in "polyamorous / PUA guys" who whine that women's destructive instincts are tearing our society apart, when they're engaging in the exact same behavior.

To make a long story short, a spouse and family is in God's plan for some people and not for others. If you really put your trust in God to lead you down the path that's best for you, give up your own design and humbly say "Thy will be done." Whether His will for you is marriage or consecrated celibacy, it will benefit you far more in the long run - literally for eternity - to give up your own desires to the greatest extent that you're capable of doing so, and put your life in His hands instead. I know people don't want to hear this answer, but read the Scriptures and Church Fathers and you will see that it's the one most in line with ancient Christian thinking. Cheers

Never expected this forum to advocate inceldom. (In incel forums they have the "voluntary" ones too).
(This post was last modified: 05-31-2019 04:55 AM by Shifty.)
05-31-2019 04:53 AM
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Post: #34
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-30-2019 07:10 PM)StrikeBack Wrote:  Unless you're an asexual like St Paul, the rest (99.99999%) of us who have a sex drive should marry and make babies, as God commands. Yes it is in His plan for nearly all of us, not "some", with very few exceptions. The modern Churchians keep twisting this to sound like God gives them a "gift of singleness" when it's simply due to their poor social skills and low attractiveness (self sabotage) that they are failing to attract a mate. If you find the opposite sex attractive still, that is God telling you that marriage and children are on the card for you. He designed you that way for a reason.

Also, Paul said "burn with passion", that is not lust. Lust is desiring someone else's spouse. The Bible is very specific on sexual sins, with clear cut examples given for each of them. "Passion equals lust" is yet another lie that the anti-sex Churchians came up with to justify why their marriage sex life is horrible. God gives us sexual passion so we may marry and be fruitful, and marriage gives the perfect moral context for us to exercise our passion.

For the Orthodox, a man's vocation (marriage or celibacy) is not something to be taken lightly, but discerned carefully and prayerfully together with his priest and/or spiritual father (if his spiritual father isn't his parish priest). I don't think your logic here plays out, though; it sounds like saying "I desire a Lamborghini and therefore God's will for me is to attain wealth." One of the reasons I left the world of Protestantism behind was specifically because "God's will" to most Protestants is simply "whatever they wanted to do anyway." But our emotions are tricky, and there's a reason the Scriptures warn that we are "led away by our own desires."

To your second point, the Bible is not actually all that clear on what constitutes sexual sin besides adultery and sex outside of marriage in general. For example, the Bible says nothing about anal sex within marriage - something Orthodoxy very strictly calls sin, but which I've heard Protestants say is perfectly fine. It also says nothing about watching pornography or masturbating - both sins to every Orthodox, but only to some Protestants (depending on which denomination you're in and who you ask).

This is why we don't go by "sola Scriptura:" there are a lot of things not explicitly written in the Scriptures, but are contained in other ancient Church documents and/or Ecumenical Councils and/or local councils and/or canons. All these things together are what guide our faith, not just our desires or personal interpretation of Bible passages. This is how we can help kill off the sins of pride and idolatry (of ourselves and our own opinions), by humbly submitting to what the Church has always taught on these and many other topics.

To your final point, saying "God gives us sexual passions" is theologically and anthropologically incorrect. Before the Fall there was neither sex nor the desire for sex; these things are the result of the Fall and of the entrance of sin and death into the world. There's nothing wrong with normal sex within the context of marriage, which is ideally about a lot more than just sex, but we have to be careful which of our feelings we attribute to God when Christ Himself - our ultimate role model - didn't see any need to partake of it Himself.

Return Of Kings contributor and best-selling author of "On The Mason And Their Lies."
05-31-2019 04:56 AM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-31-2019 04:53 AM)Shifty Wrote:  
(05-30-2019 04:55 AM)MichaelWitcoff Wrote:  The real answer, and the one that many don't want to hear, is that marriage isn't for everyone and just because you want a wife doesn't mean it's the path for you. St. Paul specifically says he would prefer if everyone could be celibate like he is, but makes the concession that if you can't control your lust, then it's better to have sex within a marriage than to be a fornicator or adulterer. He further writes that if you're unmarried when you devote your life to God, you should not seek a wife but remain as you are.

He gives the same exhortation to women as he does to men - basically "whatever you are, stay that way." This is one of the many passages of the Scriptures that Protestants like to pretend doesn't exist, because the culture of their churches tends to be very marriage-and-family focused and they have absolutely zero emphasis on monasticism / asceticism. In fact they have zero monasticism, period, and would probably even argue that it's wrong or bad somehow.

All this stuff about "but the monkeys do this or that" is just a rationalization to be enslaved to one's basest instincts without putting the work in to overcome the animal in us to become fully human (or at least, MORE fully human). It's an anti-civilization argument, since as Freud said (and forgive me for quoting him), "It is impossible to overestimate the degree to which civilization is built on the renunciation of instinct." And there's an irony in "polyamorous / PUA guys" who whine that women's destructive instincts are tearing our society apart, when they're engaging in the exact same behavior.

To make a long story short, a spouse and family is in God's plan for some people and not for others. If you really put your trust in God to lead you down the path that's best for you, give up your own design and humbly say "Thy will be done." Whether His will for you is marriage or consecrated celibacy, it will benefit you far more in the long run - literally for eternity - to give up your own desires to the greatest extent that you're capable of doing so, and put your life in His hands instead. I know people don't want to hear this answer, but read the Scriptures and Church Fathers and you will see that it's the one most in line with ancient Christian thinking. Cheers

Never expected this forum to advocate inceldom. (In incel forums they have the "voluntary" ones too).

I am not "advocating inceldom." I am advocating for Christians to work on overcoming their lust, so as not to be enslaved by it. Even for those who are married, being enslaved to lust is not a good thing (nor does it magically go away when you're pronounced husband and wife).

Christianity is hard, which is why most people in the modern world don't try it. They want a McDonald's life: cheap, fast, and easy. Ultimately of course, just like McDonald's, the cheap fast and easy route leads to sickness and death.

I am advocating "Say no to McDonald's and pick up your cross!"

Return Of Kings contributor and best-selling author of "On The Mason And Their Lies."
(This post was last modified: 05-31-2019 04:59 AM by MichaelWitcoff.)
05-31-2019 04:59 AM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
How do you "overcome lust"?

Every healthy male with normal testosterone levels needs sexual release sooner or later.

If you choose repression instead of dealing with it in a healthy way then it's going to be a coin toss on what manias they develop.
05-31-2019 06:58 AM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-31-2019 06:58 AM)Shifty Wrote:  How do you "overcome lust"?

Every healthy male with normal testosterone levels needs sexual release sooner or later.

If you choose repression instead of dealing with it in a healthy way then it's going to be a coin toss on what manias they develop.

On our own, and by our own power, we are capable of basically nothing like this. As Lorenzo Scupoli so eloquently put it..."If you rely on yourself in the spiritual warfare, you will not be able to resist even the smallest attack of the enemy." I completely agree that trying to "repress" urges leads to problems, but that isn't quite the way to do it (this is where Freud and his followers completely failed, amongst many other areas - they saw it as a battle that people were trying to do on their own, and instead of saying "you need God for this" they went in the opposite direction and said "it's not possible to repress so you should just 'be liberated' instead").

St. Porphyrios gave more actionable advice, writing "Do not fight to expel the darkness from the chamber of your soul. Instead open a tiny aperture for light to enter and the darkness will disappear."

Not that I'm perfect or anywhere close to it (or likely ever will be), but what progress I've been able to make over the last few years has followed this kind of wisdom. You must become humble enough to recognize how powerless you are to overcome the passions on your own, constantly praying and asking God for help and to send His angels to your side. What is impossible for us is effortless for Him, but we can only reap the benefits of this dynamic once we've really come face-to-face with our own weakness (and His love and power by comparison).

I believe in one of my last articles for Return of Kings, the one about good resources for Christian men, I mentioned the book "Victory In The Unseen Warfare." That's the book the Scupoli quote above is from (in the Father Jack Sparks translation/edition), and the entire three-book "Unseen Warfare" series is phenomenal. I can't recommend it enough.

Return Of Kings contributor and best-selling author of "On The Mason And Their Lies."
(This post was last modified: 05-31-2019 10:23 PM by MichaelWitcoff.)
05-31-2019 10:19 PM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-27-2019 11:28 PM)SW15 Wrote:  If a guy wants to find a religious wife, he has to be as religious as she is in most cases. A lot of men have been chasing pre-marital sex. A lot of men who are passionate about chasing pre-marital sex are not actively practicing a religion. The Millennial generation, the current cohort of 20/30 somethings, are probably the least religious generation ever.

Since I have not been practicing religion since turning 18, I do not have deep roots within any religious community. That would not help my cause in finding a religious wife.

Eventually, when I get the desire to settle down, the fact that I have struggled to find god will make me more interesting to the Christian chicks. Being born Christian and always devout like a choir boy is not an interesting story to tell...

Part of the reason I moved to Dallas was I was pretty put off by the soullessness in NYC. It rubbed me the wrong way that all the chicks there seemed so unhappy and dead inside. First thing I did in Dallas was go to Church...

Especially before my past relationship, I had the opportunity to date a few Christian girls and tell them that story and it resonated very well. At the time I wasn't ready to commit myself to being fully Christian and all the machinations and self-denial that goes with it... I eventually met another girl who was decidedly Athiest, a nice girl, I didn't need to adapt much as an East Coast guy, but not someone who made me want to have babies/married...

As an aside, Dallas and places like it: economically thriving, yuppy-dense cities with a lot of transplants, jobs, and rich people are probably not good places to find a decent wife. Maybe that's obvious, but I don't think it's been said. Sure, a lot of Dallas chicks claim to be Christian (it's a religious town), but they're also feminist at the same time with their high powered careers and yuppy lifestyles... Don't move to a place just for work, that's the lesson. Become more location independent.
05-31-2019 11:48 PM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-31-2019 11:48 PM)FullThrottleTX Wrote:  
(05-27-2019 11:28 PM)SW15 Wrote:  If a guy wants to find a religious wife, he has to be as religious as she is in most cases. A lot of men have been chasing pre-marital sex. A lot of men who are passionate about chasing pre-marital sex are not actively practicing a religion. The Millennial generation, the current cohort of 20/30 somethings, are probably the least religious generation ever.

Since I have not been practicing religion since turning 18, I do not have deep roots within any religious community. That would not help my cause in finding a religious wife.

Eventually, when I get the desire to settle down, the fact that I have struggled to find god will make me more interesting to the Christian chicks. Being born Christian and always devout like a choir boy is not an interesting story to tell...

Part of the reason I moved to Dallas was I was pretty put off by the soullessness in NYC. It rubbed me the wrong way that all the chicks there seemed so unhappy and dead inside. First thing I did in Dallas was go to Church...

Especially before my past relationship, I had the opportunity to date a few Christian girls and tell them that story and it resonated very well. At the time I wasn't ready to commit myself to being fully Christian and all the machinations and self-denial that goes with it... I eventually met another girl who was decidedly Athiest, a nice girl, I didn't need to adapt much as an East Coast guy, but not someone who made me want to have babies/married...

As an aside, Dallas and places like it: economically thriving, yuppy-dense cities with a lot of transplants, jobs, and rich people are probably not good places to find a decent wife. Maybe that's obvious, but I don't think it's been said. Sure, a lot of Dallas chicks claim to be Christian (it's a religious town), but they're also feminist at the same time with their high powered careers and yuppy lifestyles... Don't move to a place just for work, that's the lesson. Become more location independent.

Hey though, at least you're in Texas. Might be the best place to meet women in the US, in my experience. Generally a cool state that I enjoy a lot. Maybe some looking outside of Dallas/Ft. Worth might be in order.

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06-01-2019 08:19 PM
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Post: #40
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
I think it's preferable to find a woman who will rely on and have her relation to God (the masculine) through your guidance (the masculine).

I've chatted with very religious girls in the Philippines who think they know all the answers already and are looking for you to subscribe/agree with them. For me, that's not a good fit.

Sometimes a religious woman (a bad one) will use the priest as a way of castrating your masculinity. They will ignore you and deify the priest.
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06-01-2019 08:30 PM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
Most Church's in Australia don't have anyone under 40 years old, not easy to find a religious wife when your a young guy in Australia.

Women these days would rather worship Worship celebrities.
06-01-2019 09:18 PM
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RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-31-2019 04:59 AM)MichaelWitcoff Wrote:  
(05-31-2019 04:53 AM)Shifty Wrote:  
(05-30-2019 04:55 AM)MichaelWitcoff Wrote:  The real answer, and the one that many don't want to hear, is that marriage isn't for everyone and just because you want a wife doesn't mean it's the path for you. St. Paul specifically says he would prefer if everyone could be celibate like he is, but makes the concession that if you can't control your lust, then it's better to have sex within a marriage than to be a fornicator or adulterer. He further writes that if you're unmarried when you devote your life to God, you should not seek a wife but remain as you are.

He gives the same exhortation to women as he does to men - basically "whatever you are, stay that way." This is one of the many passages of the Scriptures that Protestants like to pretend doesn't exist, because the culture of their churches tends to be very marriage-and-family focused and they have absolutely zero emphasis on monasticism / asceticism. In fact they have zero monasticism, period, and would probably even argue that it's wrong or bad somehow.

All this stuff about "but the monkeys do this or that" is just a rationalization to be enslaved to one's basest instincts without putting the work in to overcome the animal in us to become fully human (or at least, MORE fully human). It's an anti-civilization argument, since as Freud said (and forgive me for quoting him), "It is impossible to overestimate the degree to which civilization is built on the renunciation of instinct." And there's an irony in "polyamorous / PUA guys" who whine that women's destructive instincts are tearing our society apart, when they're engaging in the exact same behavior.

To make a long story short, a spouse and family is in God's plan for some people and not for others. If you really put your trust in God to lead you down the path that's best for you, give up your own design and humbly say "Thy will be done." Whether His will for you is marriage or consecrated celibacy, it will benefit you far more in the long run - literally for eternity - to give up your own desires to the greatest extent that you're capable of doing so, and put your life in His hands instead. I know people don't want to hear this answer, but read the Scriptures and Church Fathers and you will see that it's the one most in line with ancient Christian thinking. Cheers

Never expected this forum to advocate inceldom. (In incel forums they have the "voluntary" ones too).

I am not "advocating inceldom." I am advocating for Christians to work on overcoming their lust, so as not to be enslaved by it. Even for those who are married, being enslaved to lust is not a good thing (nor does it magically go away when you're pronounced husband and wife).

Christianity is hard, which is why most people in the modern world don't try it. They want a McDonald's life: cheap, fast, and easy. Ultimately of course, just like McDonald's, the cheap fast and easy route leads to sickness and death.

I am advocating "Say no to McDonald's and pick up your cross!"

I agree with both of you. Trust God's plan, but for most of us we should actively be looking for a wife. If we can't get a wife, or if we believe that becoming a monk is what God wants out of us than so be it. But at the same time we can't make that as an excuse for not having kids. Throughout history women were not necessarily handed to men on a silver platter. You will have to do some work and do some courtship (both of her and her family)
06-01-2019 11:05 PM
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bobmjilica Offline
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Post: #43
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-31-2019 06:58 AM)Shifty Wrote:  How do you "overcome lust"?

Every healthy male with normal testosterone levels needs sexual release sooner or later.

If you choose repression instead of dealing with it in a healthy way then it's going to be a coin toss on what manias they develop.

A healthy way is to only fornicate inside marriage if at all.
If you don't satisfy the lust, you'd actually be surprised, but you can channel it into other things and the itch will more or less go away. Napoleon Hill talks about this and he calls it sexual transmutation.
06-01-2019 11:08 PM
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Post: #44
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-29-2019 09:30 AM)Distant Light Wrote:  @Endsexpect hahaha @hippie BS, as I always say...
Experience > Belief,/Theory/Idealism
Sorry to say monogamy is "no movement" forward beyond self-sacrifice for KIDS. However, tons of IN NEED KIDS who need adopting so that aspect is void.
Humans been having issues since hunters & gatherer days. Power, Control, Manipulation...We have evolved into data collectors for sake of marketing. All most everything revolves around cutting corners, exploitation & keeping humans deluded with entertainment & trinkets..
It isn't moving forward for things beyond scope of this thread...

At this point in your life you should understand the flaws of human nature. We want monogamy but don't want to give it. If you don't want monogamy or don't feel jealousy... you are a broken man who is incapable of love.

My suggestion is that you fight the parts of your nature that impede the life you wish to achieve. If you wish you can receive monogamy from a woman, and not give it in return. As a young man, I felt this was optimal and had this arraignment in several relationships... none of them lasted.

As an older man who has an established career and children... monogamy is very comfortable. Sex is just one driving force in life and sometimes it's not the biggest. It's nice to have that available whenever you want with little to no effort. If that changed... then the relationship would not be as worthwhile.

(05-29-2019 09:30 AM)Distant Light Wrote:  My "relationship" would've been IDEAL for the typical redpill, from society standpoint I had the perfect relationship.. A self-deluded fantasy bubble of 2. However I PERSONALLY value consciousness growth over 2 people in deep love alienated & waiting to die all to say "I have a loving wife & family". It is no wonder people tolerate the arguing, melodrama & stress because they don't know what true peace happiness & joy is.
Thing is, prior to experience I had no one mentioning BE SKEPTICAL and warn me. Just a bunch of deluded people lying. If it were all FUNCTIONAL every pro-monogamous person would have 1-2 relationships and reach IDEAL. It is hilarious people are serial daters.
P.S...Show me 1 pure loving monogamous relationship that is void of arguing, melodrama, controlling, manipulation...And transcended both parties into unconditional love, happiness, peace & joy with this reality and those around them.

Listen my friend, nobody tells you the truth of life straight out... and even if they did you wouldn't believe it until you fell on your face a few times.

You had a bad relationship. If you constantly find yourself with women that fight with you... then you need to be a different man. If I look back at my relationships the ones with the most bullshit and turmoil were the ones when I was the most blue pill. The more I centered and strong I become, the more women almost always fall in line. Part of that is I've learned how to stop arguments and the like before they occur. Most fights arise from female insecurity... OR female expectations that are out of whack.

My best suggestion is to approach your woman from a managerial perspective at some point. Openly lay out your expectations and requirements. Unless you are a really Type A mutherfucker she is going to come back at you with way more expectations than you have for her. This is where you make her understand what you can and will do for her. This is the greatest way to reduce the bullshit in a relationship that I have ever found.

Regarding female insecurity... fuck her long, hard, and often. The response to any insecure statement she gives you should be very ardent and passionate sex.

The greatest struggle in life is understanding and then coming up with a way of handling human nature. You seem to be starting to come to an understanding, but instead of figuring out how to make it work... you are just giving up. Listen, people have been dealing with these issues for 20,000 years. Our ancestors settled on monogamy because it was the best trade-off. The "free love" cultures of the ancient world had their men slaughtered and castrated... their women hauled off as sex slaves to serve men who demanded monogamy of their females.
06-02-2019 08:42 AM
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Post: #45
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(05-31-2019 11:48 PM)FullThrottleTX Wrote:  At the time I wasn't ready to commit myself to being fully Christian and all the machinations and self-denial that goes with it..

As an aside, Dallas and places like it: economically thriving, yuppy-dense cities with a lot of transplants, jobs, and rich people are probably not good places to find a decent wife. Maybe that's obvious, but I don't think it's been said. Sure, a lot of Dallas chicks claim to be Christian (it's a religious town), but they're also feminist at the same time with their high powered careers and yuppy lifestyles... Don't move to a place just for work, that's the lesson. Become more location independent.

I know a lot of Christian men and have had some meaningful discussions on this topic. Self denial is just another way to say self control. It seems that the more you practice it, the more it feels good and you enjoy it. Within reasonable limits.

You make a really good point an addition to the ideas of this thread. A good Religious wife should not be focused on material things.

On some level, you will never find the perfect girl. You have to be willing to find one that is a good fit, and then push her in the direction you need. It's not as difficult as it sounds either, because fundamentally women like to follow.
06-02-2019 08:53 AM
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Post: #46
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
I'm beginning to think that some societies are more "evolved" towards monogamy.

What I can't figure out is if its by virtue of extreme cultural and societal standards, or perhaps some form of (compartively speaking) evolution in the short term.

Allow me to explain. I am an Arab American, grew up in an Arabic family, with a large extended family, cousins, uncles, aunts, etc.

My family, for the most part, seem to represent what I call the perfect blend of eastern and western values, living for the most part an American Lifestyle, whilst keeping Islam and culture close.

Now, of every major "group" (group being a broad term here, but I hope I can make my point clear), I have noticed that Muslims seem to have the most successful marriages, with the lowest divorce rates, as well as infidelity. Overall happy family lifestyle, many children, and overall: Balanced Happiness.

Now again, I can't account for what goes on behind closed doors, as we all have skeletons in our closet. However, I can speak based on what I see and experience.

I myself have been in a relationship with a fellow Muslim lady for a number of years, and while we have our ups and downs, we are still in it for the long run. I can attest to her character, as she prays 5 times daily, reads the Quran with love, and attempts to be a better Muslim as much as she can.

She is, quite literally, a better human than I (religiously speaking).

The key here is to find a women who ACTUALLY fears God.

Not someone who merely follows a faith half wittedly because she was born into, but someone who actively seeks to practice it everyday as much as she can, because she genuinely loves it. Because she fears God.

How will you know? Simple, the years have taught me; She has to push YOU to follow a faith more closely. She has to push YOU to pray more, read scripture more. No drinking, no pre-marital sex, nothing. But this must be done with balance, as an over-bearing religious heart is pretext for compensation for unseen sin and vice (as in when one partner cheats on the other, the cheating partner will attempt to shower their partner with gifts, attention etc in a vein attempt to make up for what they did, in their minds)

Social awareness and understanding of human nature helps you screen out for this type of person. Life has taught me, and perhaps few of you will believe me, but they do exist. I promise, I swear. But they are incredibly, incredibly rare. There is a certain luck factor involved, akin to winning the lottery.

As I've said before, I don't know if these types of women exist because of Nature or Nurture, but regardless...

Islam is merely one conduit for this, Christianity works just as well. All these religions are merely conduits with different rituals to worship the same One, True God.

The only method for finding a good spouse, is through religion, is through God. There is NO other way.
06-02-2019 09:33 AM
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Radu Anghel Offline
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Post: #47
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
Hello everyone, I am new here and this is my first post. I would like to share a link with some suggestions on finding a wife, it is an Orthodox view but it can apply for nonOrthoox as well. http://www.pravmir.com/orthodox-life-fin...ox-spouse/
(This post was last modified: 06-02-2019 12:25 PM by Radu Anghel.)
06-02-2019 12:24 PM
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bobmjilica Offline
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Post: #48
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(06-02-2019 12:24 PM)Radu Anghel Wrote:  Hello everyone, I am new here and this is my first post. I would like to share a link with some suggestions on finding a wife, it is an Orthodox view but it can apply for nonOrthoox as well. http://www.pravmir.com/orthodox-life-fin...ox-spouse/

Saint Anthony the Great of Egypt said that a time will come when the world will be so insane that people will see a man in his right mind, and call him the insane one.
06-02-2019 05:00 PM
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Kungfu Offline
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Post: #49
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
Good luck to everyone trying to pursue their goals of having a wife and family, especially in this day and age but tbh I find it really worrisome that some people have almost reverted back to the same way of thinking that burned them in the past made them abandon the idea of wanting family and kids in the first place.

Religion and conservatism can help keep women's natural instincts at bay at best, but it won't change who they really are.

There are women out there who check off all the boxes that the OP laid out, but when push comes to shove are no different than your typical thot.

Women have the ability to rationalize their worst behaviors then go to church the next day and pass a lie detector test at the same time.

Times have changed. It's hard to ask for a faithful partner when the culture you're in churns out the worst partners imaginable.

Best of luck to all the guys looking for a wholesome partner, but they're getting rarer by the day.
06-02-2019 06:28 PM
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Post: #50
RE: Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion
(06-02-2019 06:28 PM)Kungfu Wrote:  Good luck to everyone trying to pursue their goals of having a wife and family, especially in this day and age but tbh I find it really worrisome that some people have almost reverted back to the same way of thinking that burned them in the past made them abandon the idea of wanting family and kids in the first place.

I agree with the rest you wrote, but I didn't understand what you meant here. I'm sorry if I missed the backstory, but what way of thinking are you referring too? How did it burn them?

EDIT: I read it again and I understand what you're saying now. I agree with you, if I understand you right, the current culture (The Zeitgeist) tends to Trump any kind of formal religious upbringing
(This post was last modified: 06-02-2019 08:29 PM by Onto.)
06-02-2019 08:10 PM
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