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How to end a FWB maturely?
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coffeedrinker Offline
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How to end a FWB maturely?
I'll be moving from the city (maybe even country) I currently live soon and have never had to deal with being the one to end things with a girl.

Even though we both told eachother that it's casual from the start, I think we both have at least some feelings, in particular her for me. It may sound lame to some of you but she's the first girl to make me feel wanted as a man and I want to remain as friends without benefits and end things without potentially hurting her.

The fact that I'm moving away gives me a reason but it sounds like a cop out and hoping for some advice here on how best to phrase everything (before the new forum rules kick in).

I'm particularly cautious about her because she's had a rough childhood with abandonment and I don't want to be the cause of any further pain.
(This post was last modified: 05-31-2019 05:29 PM by coffeedrinker.)
05-31-2019 05:26 PM
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kaotic Offline
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
There is nothing wrong with ending things the right way.

To be honest, ending things probably means you won't be hooking up with her again.

It's probably going to hurt a little bit, so you might as well rip the bandaid off.

If you want, meet her in a public place or call her.

Just be super straight forward that you're going to be moving and you don't want to string her along.

It's only fair to both of you to end things on a good note.

It's really simple, there might be some crying, so before you leave, hug close her, give her a kiss, and tell her you'll of course hit her up if you're ever in tow (or she'll say that to you).

Easy peasy.

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05-31-2019 05:37 PM
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coffeedrinker Offline
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
(05-31-2019 05:37 PM)kaotic Wrote:  There is nothing wrong with ending things the right way.

To be honest, ending things probably means you won't be hooking up with her again.

It's probably going to hurt a little bit, so you might as well rip the bandaid off.

If you want, meet her in a public place or call her.

Just be super straight forward that you're going to be moving and you don't want to string her along.

It's only fair to both of you to end things on a good note.

It's really simple, there might be some crying, so before you leave, hug close her, give her a kiss, and tell her you'll of course hit her up if you're ever in tow (or she'll say that to you).

Easy peasy.

Thanks for that. The last sentence is exactly what I was looking for. I understand and have accepted it would mean we would not be hooking up again. I rather let her move on as quickly as possible and hopefully we remain as friends as she's truly achieved a lot given what she has been through.
05-31-2019 05:48 PM
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kaotic Offline
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
I'll be honest remaining friends with a hook up isn't going to happen, don't tell her that you'll still be friends either.

Just end it as nicely as possible and move on.

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05-31-2019 05:54 PM
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
Id do as kaotic suggests. Be honest and direct.

Take solace in the fact that she'll likely be "past it" before you will even if she is more invested than you.

"Nothing gets you over that last one like the next one"

Its way easier for girls

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06-01-2019 11:48 AM
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fmman Offline
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
(06-01-2019 11:48 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  Id do as kaotic suggests. Be honest and direct.

Take solace in the fact that she'll likely be "past it" before you will even if she is more invested than you.

"Nothing gets you over that last one like the next one"

Its way easier for girls

I had an FWB, we were on and off for years. We parted as FWB many times and it wasn't easy especially if she was the first to make you 'feel like a man', mine did too. When we finally parted we were more than FWB and all the more painful. Better to do it nicely, firm and fair then let it drag on and off for years. There's a reason (either from her side or yours) why you are FWB, best for either of you to say goodbye at this point. Staying friends over the phone might seem like a good idea but it has the potential to be a temptation back to familiarity.
06-13-2019 03:47 PM
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TooFineAPoint Offline
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
I am not speaking from experience here... but I heard a story about Derek Jeter and how he ended it with his many babes.

He got them a nice present, emphasized all the great memories they had that he (and she) will always cherish, and wished them well in the future.

If you do it right, the chick will feel almost as good as having a real relationship that worked, because she can fantasize about how "that moment in time was perfect for me when I was ____" forever. And she will keep that memento in a trunk somewhere forever, and look at it when she is feeling unfulfilled.
06-14-2019 12:45 AM
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questor70 Offline
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
Never underestimate the fury of a woman scorned, even one you thought was a unicorn. I can't tell you how much energy I've spent trying to end things gracefully in situations like this. I'd get locked into hours of gut-wrenching therapy sessions, then I'd keep getting pulled into one more booty-call for the road, then another, then another. Then when it seemed like I made enough progress to make a polite exit I'd receive some final nasty text or email afterwards that made me question why I bothered in the first place. That kind of thing is really about how fragile women's egos are than a sign of any real mistreatment. But because of this, I think men need to learn to simply say their piece and then shrug off the drama.
06-14-2019 12:35 PM
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RE: How to end a FWB maturely?
(06-14-2019 12:45 AM)TooFineAPoint Wrote:  I am not speaking from experience here... but I heard a story about Derek Jeter and how he ended it with his many babes.

He got them a nice present, emphasized all the great memories they had that he (and she) will always cherish, and wished them well in the future.

If you do it right, the chick will feel almost as good as having a real relationship that worked, because she can fantasize about how "that moment in time was perfect for me when I was ____" forever. And she will keep that memento in a trunk somewhere forever, and look at it when she is feeling unfulfilled.

Nice touch.
06-14-2019 03:46 PM
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