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Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
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flaghunter Offline
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Post: #1
Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
I get the most sex appeal from slutty, tattoed girls or a girl who is cheating on her bf with me - excitement rush of lusting with a girl that isn't mine.

For a LTR I don't want her to have been slutty or unfaithful - and of course she will be mine, so the same sex appeal above won't be there.

Is this a problem from too much notches and porn?
Is this common, and how should I deal with it or find a balance?
06-09-2019 08:09 AM
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PixelFree Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
Back in the day we used to call this the Madonna-Whore complex - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Madonna–whore_complex

I don't have any answers unfortunately, although it's worth understanding it's part of life for guys with options.
06-11-2019 07:33 AM
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flaghunter Offline
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RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
Yeah that's it alright - time for me to try to find a solution now, I'll report back if I find one.
06-13-2019 02:56 AM
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Mage Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
Most likely the problem comes from your mother.

My mother is a faithful woman, has never been with another man but my father and is practicing Catholic, married for more then 30 years, probably till death does them part.

I tend to be attracted to the same type of women - decent, reliable girls with splendid behavior, no tats and modest style. Sluts and crazies disgust me. I am married to a very beautiful woman with very decent behavior too. It took me learning game to find a top quality woman like that but it was my correct archetype of a woman set by my mother that made me search for the right type of woman right away instead of wasting time banging sluts. I tried banging sluts like typical player in my twenties, but I found that I take very little pleasure from communication with them and sex was not worth it, so I dedicated all my powers to finding a woman to marry very quickly after mastering game.

I suggest you watch Stephan Molyneux freedomain call videos where he teaches people how to get over bad parents.
(This post was last modified: 06-13-2019 05:58 AM by Mage.)
06-13-2019 05:57 AM
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PixelFree Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
I'll also add...

While I haven't figured it out, I think it'll have something to do with learning to tame your 'monkey mind'. The part of us that constantly seeks out fun and new sexual encounters that essentially lead nowhere.

Having said that, I too suffer from the problem of getting bored with LTRs. In the past I have tried threesomes / open relationships, serial monogamy as well as staying single for as long as I can living the PUA lifestyle, but they are far from perfect. Some guys do it by cheating and/or prostitutes.

At the moment I'm thinking it's just something we have to live with - if we want a woman to commit her entire body and life to us and our family and raise children, then it's something we need to do for her and our family. That, along with declining desire through a combination of mastery over the mind with age/wisdom and potentially a drop in testosterone as we age (which isn't inevitable, but that's another topic).

It's not a pretty thought, but that's where I am. We'll eventually get bored, but that's life. For me this happens at two years. Historically, have LTRs/Marriages been erotic and lustful long term anyway? I don't think they have.
06-13-2019 06:08 AM
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Mage Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
(06-13-2019 06:08 AM)PixelFree Wrote:  Historically, have LTRs/Marriages been erotic and lustful long term anyway? I don't think they have.

The point of any LTR or marriage is to have an easy access outlet for sexual needs so that you can concentrate on higher things in your life - spirituality.

If you are a common atheist, who perceives sex is the highest pleasure, then you are merely an animal controlled by lust and you will destroy any LTR you build. Do not even attempt an LTR if you think there is nothing spiritual and sex is highest pleasure! You will only cause more suffering for yourself or for the woman and defiantly for the children.

If you think there is nothing after death and sex is the best thing in life and goal of life is to have as much crazy sex as possible then do not let traditions intimidate you and just continue to sleep around with similarly minded people until maybe something changes your perception. If a spiritual experience won't then an old age eventually will.
06-13-2019 06:17 AM
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Post: #7
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
(06-13-2019 05:57 AM)Mage Wrote:  Most likely the problem comes from your mother.

My mother is a faithful woman, has never been with another man but my father and is practicing Catholic, married for more then 30 years, probably till death does them part.

I tend to be attracted to the same type of women - decent, reliable girls with splendid behavior, no tats and modest style. Sluts and crazies disgust me. I am married to a very beautiful woman with very decent behavior too. It took me learning game to find a top quality woman like that but it was my correct archetype of a woman set by my mother that made me search for the right type of woman right away instead of wasting time banging sluts. I tried banging sluts like typical player in my twenties, but I found that I take very little pleasure from communication with them and sex was not worth it, so I dedicated all my powers to finding a woman to marry very quickly after mastering game.

I suggest you watch Stephan Molyneux freedomain call videos where he teaches people how to get over bad parents.

I don't believe it comes from the mother but rather just how evolution made us.

The best thing that could happen to you as a man back in caveman time, was being one of the few that got to reproduce and have children. Then you pretty much won the lottery.

If you could also cuck some other man that you disliked at the same time and have a child with "his" woman and let him raise your kid without any investment from yourself, then you pretty much hit jackpot. So I think it makes sense to have a fetish like OP. My mum is wonderful and have been loyal to my father but I have had the same fetish like OP.

It's a degenerate omega fetish but it's just one of those things. I think the first step is to realise that this could have detrimental effects if you wake up at say age 50 and realise you should have searched for a woman to create a family with instead of living out this superficial fetish.

The second step is much harder but like anyone with an unhealthy fetish you would have to actively try and surpress that fetish and search more high quality women instead.
A lot of people don't want to put in the hard work and don't want a high quality woman and family bad enough to stop wasting time on sluts. So depends how bad you want it.
06-13-2019 06:50 AM
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Mage Offline
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RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
^

I think you confuse cucking another man with preferring good/bad girls. While you defiantly spoil the woman in the process it is not the same thing.

If anything - preference for used up sluts is a beta trait. An alpha goes and seduces fresh rather untouched women, while the beta must come over the disgust of taking a used woman to procreate.

I actually believe men are the romantic sex and many men would prefer to find a girl of their dreams and live happily. I think Madonna/Whore complex is the anomaly.

It might be that there are other factors besides mother that contribute to this. Maybe western crazy culture in general. But the example of mother is definitely a factor that explains it for many men.
(This post was last modified: 06-13-2019 07:47 AM by Mage.)
06-13-2019 07:40 AM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
I think good girls can have sex appeal. My LTR dresses very modestly for her day to day activities but takes good care of herself and looks ridiculous naked. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets kind of thing.

I understand the appeal of tattooed hotties that ooze sexuality, garnering the attention of every man in her vicinity, and eliciting envy of the man she is with. However in a lot of cases these women have negative traits that do not make them good long partners.
06-13-2019 10:13 AM
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flaghunter Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
(06-13-2019 07:40 AM)Mage Wrote:  If anything - preference for used up sluts is a beta trait. An alpha goes and seduces fresh rather untouched women, while the beta must come over the disgust of taking a used woman to procreate.

That's a decent way of looking at it to try and direct my lust towards good, fresh girls instead.
I do think porn has a part to play - it shows these used women and my brain is programmed to view them as more sexual than good women.
06-14-2019 05:40 AM
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Laner Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
If by LTR you also mean after kids, then it important to focus on some things about her that will likely never change.

I would assume every guy would not be wifing up a hippo, or someone who over eats or drinks horrible drinks. I am assuming that they are getting into a LTR with someone who enjoys clean, healthy food and takes time to stay fit. Even just walking, for a woman who eats healthy, is enough to stay trim.

Now.

There are things to focus on so you can develop a sort of fetish for your LTR. Faces and hands get wrinkly in their late 30's. Breasts take a bit of a beating after kids. Nothing can be done about this, other than surgery. If you are a big tit guy, then those DD's will look vastly different after a kid. If that's your only thing, you might be in trouble.

Some things on women stay beautiful well into their 50's. Namely the hips and thighs. Even her stomach if she eats clean. A nice, shapely and tight waist-hip zone can look sexy for decades even as her tits are like airless balloons.
06-14-2019 12:01 PM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Does your ideal LTR have sex appeal?
(06-14-2019 12:01 PM)Laner Wrote:  If by LTR you also mean after kids, then it important to focus on some things about her that will likely never change.

I would assume every guy would not be wifing up a hippo, or someone who over eats or drinks horrible drinks. I am assuming that they are getting into a LTR with someone who enjoys clean, healthy food and takes time to stay fit. Even just walking, for a woman who eats healthy, is enough to stay trim.

Now.

There are things to focus on so you can develop a sort of fetish for your LTR. Faces and hands get wrinkly in their late 30's. Breasts take a bit of a beating after kids. Nothing can be done about this, other than surgery. If you are a big tit guy, then those DD's will look vastly different after a kid. If that's your only thing, you might be in trouble.

Some things on women stay beautiful well into their 50's. Namely the hips and thighs. Even her stomach if she eats clean. A nice, shapely and tight waist-hip zone can look sexy for decades even as her tits are like airless balloons.

I misread you at first and thought you were saying that a woman can't do anything to avoid losing her looks as she ages. I see now that that's not what you're saying, and as you point out some women retain sex appeal well past the 25 years old that used to be considered the absolute maximum in this corner of the Internet. That said, it's not easy to find a woman who's willing to put in the work, although game helps a lot in getting her to eat right and work out.

Good point about the DDs. Time isn't kind to them. That's why I was always more into form and perkiness than size when it comes to boobs. Sort of a long-term investment, if you will.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
06-15-2019 03:07 PM
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