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Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
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Graft Offline
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Post: #1
Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
I'm talking about a relationship that started in NYC, went on for 1 year plus, mutually exclusive.

I can't seem to find anyone who is making this work. Starting to wonder whether the women have too much temptation.

I built this empire and I did it by myself. Nobody did it for me. Not Ivana, not Marla. Nobody! ~Donald Trump
06-18-2019 11:44 PM
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The Catalyst Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
I've got a good friend who just married his LTR, they seem rock solid so far. They were in Queens, I don't know if that counts as NYC.

They moved from there though and despise how SJW it is, so I don't know if it counts.
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2019 12:46 AM by The Catalyst.)
06-19-2019 12:45 AM
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FullThrottleTX Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
(06-19-2019 12:45 AM)The Catalyst Wrote:  I've got a good friend who just married his LTR, they seem rock solid so far. They were in Queens, I don't know if that counts as NYC.

They moved from there though and despise how SJW it is, so I don't know if it counts.

Good question I have strong opinions about.

My longest relationship in NYC was 2 months. She broke it off for no reason, through email. I think I sneezed that morning, that was the reason (j/k). I had never been dumped before that happened, I'm usually the one to break it off. Within a few months of dating in Dallas, I found a girl I had a 2 year relationship with. I think just about any other city is better for relationships, even DC. This wisdom actually was one of the reasons I left NYC... I saw the writing on the wall.

I've known people that have moved to NYC with wives and girlfriends and it doesn't last long after that.

NYC is for fornication. If you're looking for an LTR, it's not a good place to be. Every girl wants that Sex in the City lifestyle, and they're amassing a huge notch count.

The only people in NYC I know that have had good relationships are gays. Examples: I had a gay roommate and he was with his boyfriend for over 2 years. I had a gay coworker, he was with his boyfriend for 10+ years. It's kind of amazing, but I have yet to meet more than a handful of straight couples that have a lasting LTR.

If you're a native New Yorker, it may be a little different. For example, if you live in Queens and never come into Manhattan, it's a different scene. If you're dating latinas in Queens, you may also have a different experience honestly. But most of you I know are in Manhattan and it's maybe the toughest place to try to build an LTR... Please don't move to Queens just to get married lol...
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2019 08:52 AM by FullThrottleTX.)
06-19-2019 08:48 AM
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Rang off the Pipe Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
Queens is very much a part of NYC. However, much of it (especially farther east) is isolated from the SJW hotspots in and near Manhattan. There are plenty of more traditional families (often immigrants) who have been living in Queens for years. You have to remember that NYC is a massive city and some of the distant areas are basically suburbs that are little different from those in other parts of the US (except for the unique ethnic demographics).

(06-19-2019 08:48 AM)FullThrottleTX Wrote:  If you're a native New Yorker, it may be a little different. For example, if you live in Queens and never come into Manhattan, it's a different scene. If you're dating latinas in Queens, you may also have a different experience honestly. But most of you I know are in Manhattan and it's maybe the toughest place to try to build an LTR... Please don't move to Queens just to get married lol...


Exactly. For all the people in Manhattan on any given day, there are several more within the city that hardly ever go to Manhattan. There are some people who live in eastern Queens or northern Bronx near the city's borders and go outside of the city for work, shopping, and other activities, and have little reason or desire to set foot in Manhattan on a consistent basis. There are very few adventurous people who go around to multiple parts of the city. Most people stick to their communities and few other areas as necessary.
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2019 08:58 AM by Rang off the Pipe.)
06-19-2019 08:51 AM
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456 Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
Def. had several 1 and 2 year relationships in NYC. (Objectively hot girls mostly met through sidewalk day-or-night game).

Had many 3-6 month flings as well.

Between that were some periods of more casual fornication.

Good relationship game = she becomes motivated herself to avoid temptation.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is [maybe] blackpilling... [or just has had a vastly different experience].

There are hot young girls out there that don't feel the need to be dick-swiping and 4am partying regularly.

I understand @graft is on the side of the New Ways and brings some great perspective -- but allow me to round out the other side here -- it's completely and entirely possible to lock down a girl here for at least a year.

---

I've had outer-boro girls in Manhattan that were down for LTR, I've met new transplants in Manhattan that were down for LTR, upper-east-side wealthy native girl who was begging for a real relationship (she got on my nerves after 6 or so months)... there's no set formula.

Not going to pretend these girls had zero experience "casually dating" during their tenures in NYC (which I've been in/near my whole life), but it's not uncommon at all for some girls to prefer relationships in their early/mid-20s, long before actual "settle and marry" phase kicks in. So you get younger-hotter-tighter without any marriage nagging.

That being said, I have seen female friends do a more stereotypical "settle for a beta chump during BF phase".

Though that's not what I experienced personally since I keep things casual until they start falling for me, then I make a calculated decision whether to monog or not.

(Just to dispel the idea that any girl settling down is aiming low or full of shit. Many are, but not if you are experienced and can filter, and have a modicum of game / hand).

---

I'm no expert, but I have decades here and plenty of "no apps" experience... you can tame hotties here. Gravitas is required.

Age difference helps... most of the relationships the girls were 23 / 24 (as I went from late 20s to mid 30s).

Also helps to have a decent apartment*, and many ideas for random fun and experiences if you want to keep it exciting without too much partying.


*I've had decent apartments in the most central neighbs, and some great apartments further out -- zero difference in girls' willingness to come back with me or extend a fling. Definitely a little difference in inspo to party more.



( Childish wish: "@a beer is enough" please refrain from weighing in on this thread... you somehow manage to blackpill about my favorite city while still bragging about exploits... you skate the line of trolling expertly. )
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2019 09:50 AM by 456.)
06-19-2019 09:36 AM
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FullThrottleTX Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
(06-19-2019 09:36 AM)456 Wrote:  Def. had several 1 and 2 year relationships in NYC. (Objectively hot girls mostly met through sidewalk day-or-night game).

Had many 3-6 month flings as well.

Between that were some periods of more casual fornication.

Good relationship game = she becomes motivated herself to avoid temptation.

Anyone who tells you otherwise is [maybe] blackpilling... [or just has had a vastly different experience].

There are hot young girls out there that don't feel the need to be dick-swiping and 4am partying regularly.

I understand @graft is on the side of the New Ways and brings some great perspective -- but allow me to round out the other side here -- it's completely and entirely possible to lock down a girl here for at least a year.

---

I've had outer-boro girls in Manhattan that were down for LTR, I've met new transplants in Manhattan that were down for LTR, upper-east-side wealthy native girl who was begging for a real relationship (she got on my nerves after 6 or so months)... there's no set formula.

Not going to pretend these girls had zero experience "casually dating" during their tenures in NYC (which I've been in/near my whole life), but it's not uncommon at all for some girls to prefer relationships in their early/mid-20s, long before actual "settle and marry" phase kicks in. So you get younger-hotter-tighter without any marriage nagging.

That being said, I have seen female friends do a more stereotypical "settle for a beta chump during BF phase".

Though that's not what I experienced personally since I keep things casual until they start falling for me, then I make a calculated decision whether to monog or not.

(Just to dispel the idea that any girl settling down is aiming low or full of shit. Many are, but not if you are experienced and can filter, and have a modicum of game / hand).

---

I'm no expert, but I have decades here and plenty of "no apps" experience... you can tame hotties here. Gravitas is required.

Age difference helps... most of the relationships the girls were 23 / 24 (as I went from late 20s to mid 30s).

Also helps to have a decent apartment*, and many ideas for random fun and experiences if you want to keep it exciting without too much partying.


*I've had decent apartments in the most central neighbs, and some great apartments further out -- zero difference in girls' willingness to come back with me or extend a fling. Definitely a little difference in inspo to party more.



( Childish wish: "@a beer is enough" please refrain from weighing in on this thread... you somehow manage to blackpill about my favorite city while still bragging about exploits... you skate the line of trolling expertly. )

I'm not blackpill. Any other city is better for LTRs, as I said, even DC. I've lived all over.

It's not like I'm saying you're a unicorn if you have a relationship in NYC. It surely happens, I coulda made it happen. But it's easier just about anywhere else. I just think it's dumb to shoot for it. Why live in NYC if you're not serial dating and partaking in the party/pickup scene? That's the only benefit honestly... Combine the bad weather with the wacky people and the high cost of living/taxes and you don't have a good recipe for raising kids and having a decent lifestyle well into your 30s and beyond.

Live in NYC in your 20s, have the experience, leave for a more chill/laid back city where you can make something real and lasting. Lifetime New Yorkers live in a different world than the rest of America.
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2019 12:54 PM by FullThrottleTX.)
06-19-2019 12:37 PM
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456 Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
The fact is, Many Many people live here. Why not shoot for it (LTR, or wholesomeness) if you want it? 20 million or so are within an hour from here. 8 or so in NYC proper. Millions at any moment can come in for work or fun.

If you focus your attention one way, you'll only see / experience "modern listless serial dater hell sluts Top 20 Red Flags why bother"-ness.

If you focus another way, you'll find like-minded people who happen to live in/around these dens of iniquity but manage to live fairly wholesome lives.

There are 1000000 sub-lenses you can use. You can have a social lens, brotherhood lens, a romantic lens, sexual lens, money lens, hobby lens, learning lens, through which to experience the city and people. I've changed mine over the years.

---

Even split up Manhattan-centric ( + western BK and QNS i.e. where Citibike docks are) --- and the "rest" (leafy suburbs, ethnic enclaves, hoods) -- if you really want. You can imagine the former is more hyper-sexual-market than the latter, but there's so much crossover of people between those worlds. Millions of people seamlessly blend into both. Too much categorizing and theorizing.

There are so many people here, including attractive women, that only something as banal as "excessive internet forum lens" could have us stereotyping that whole segment as "well she's hot and she's in NYC how could she NOT sample every temptation". What happened to "act as if"? Harboring those thoughts kill my vibe at least.


---

Quote:I just think it's dumb to shoot for it. Why live in NYC if you're not serial dating and partaking in the party/pickup scene? That's the only benefit honestly... Combine the bad weather with the wacky people and the high cost of living/taxes and you don't have a good recipe for raising kids and having a decent lifestyle well into your 30s and beyond.

Sounds like a You problem? Not trying to flame but just consider how those complaints are very personal, even if MANY people share the opinion... it still reflects you individually.

People put up with lots of Bad Factors to live in beautiful wholesome rural Southern states.

Higher cost of living is typically commensurate with higher salary, even for low skill jobs, and there are many ways to live within means if a guy can resist temptations. Just like we're questioning if girls are able to.


Men and women are here to make shit happen, or they are born here / dragged here by family.

All the NY stereotypes in the world don't block anyone from making something work here if they try. I'm talking life-wise, not girl-wise.

If you believe there are no girls out there who are feminine and sweet yet capable of self-respect and resisting temptations, then I'm just a lame NAWALT right now, fair enough, though I'd sooner white knight for my city than for broads at large!

---

To OP -- your post was succinctly put (unlike mines), yes, I see many quality guys and girls get into multi-year relationships / marriage, despite their dwelling in temptation-laden NYC. Yes they skewed to mid-20s more than late teens early 20s, sure. Yes, most people wait longer to have kids, yes that feeds back into culture at large.

I've had the same doubts at many points, but an open mind, open ears, and open (and courageous) mouth will do WONDERS in this city for meeting the Right People.
(This post was last modified: 06-19-2019 01:24 PM by 456.)
06-19-2019 01:06 PM
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Minnesotadrake Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
I am coming up on 2 years with my gf who I met off Bumble. She recently moved in and I liked her because she wasnt into social media and wasnt a huge partier. I think when dating you have to ask the right questions and I found someone who loves to travel and has a great career in nursing....
06-19-2019 04:28 PM
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godzilla Offline
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RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
I know a lot of people who are married around NYC. Every single one of them is either from the area or past mid-30s.

If you're doing a lot of online dating or night game, you're meeting tons of girls who are just on a merry-go-round. There are dating tons of men. They will have no interest in a relationship until they're too old.

Anytime a girl really likes me here and wants something more serious, I kind of always feel I'm dating down in looks too. This shouldn't be surprising. Girls go for the best they can here and will wait forever to see if they can get it.

Personally, I'm happy with the merry-go-round at the moment that women play. Not looking for something serious. But I remember when I was younger how frustrating it was to be looking for a relationship and marriage and feel like I found no one who was interested. It can be difficult. But part of it was on me too (and maybe on all of us), as all I was doing was getting shitfaced and meeting girls at bars.

If you really want something serious, I would head out to the outer boroughs and suburbs. Also, girls who are from the area tend to be looking for something more serious as well but its not always the case. Certainly, Manhattan is not the place.
06-19-2019 05:56 PM
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Post: #10
RE: Has anyone had an LTR in NYC?
I agree with a lot of what everyone is saying here, but to be a little more specific from my experience it’s tough to lock down a really hot chick (8+) as apposed to basically anywhere else in the world that is good for dating. Don’t be nniave and wife hunt in NYC. If it happens then great but I wouldn’t expect it here. But I’d have to agree with Godzilla in his point that dating up or on par for a LTR is more difficult than other places even others in US alone
06-19-2019 10:37 PM
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