I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
Discussion Regarding Love
Author Message
EndsExpect Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 969
Joined: May 2016
Reputation: 23
Post: #1
Discussion Regarding Love
I think this topic deserves it's own thread.

I know we got some long timer forum members that happily bang random sluts all day or are constantly spinning plates. My experience with this is that while it helps abundance mentality... it also hinders the creation of deep meaningful bonds. We talk about getting sex from women all the time. Should we also be looking for intimacy? Is there a point to such a thing? Do we need women who know us deeply and still accept us?

What is love and how do we use it to make our lives better? Thoughts?
06-25-2019 02:11 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes EndsExpect's post:
wwtl
Baphomet Offline
Chubby Chaser
**

Posts: 522
Joined: Oct 2013
Reputation: 10
Post: #2
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-25-2019 02:11 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  I think this topic deserves it's own thread.

I know we got some long timer forum members that happily bang random sluts all day or are constantly spinning plates. My experience with this is that while it helps abundance mentality... it also hinders the creation of deep meaningful bonds. We talk about getting sex from women all the time. Should we also be looking for intimacy? Is there a point to such a thing? Do we need women who know us deeply and still accept us?

What is love and how do we use it to make our lives better? Thoughts?

OK, we need to put a stop to something, and we need to stop it right now.

"It's" is not a possessive pronoun. It is a contraction of the two words "it is".
"Its" is the possessive form of the pronoun, "it".

My apologies. We return now to our regularly scheduled discussion.
06-25-2019 02:55 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Baphomet's post:
RoastBeefCurtains4Me
Sankt Michael Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 5
Joined: Dec 2018
Reputation: 0
Post: #3
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
I recently got my first real girlfriend with 24 years through a Roosh miracle. Before I just had drunk one night stands and so on.
I am aware that it could be over any moment, but I don´t like the idea of going back chasing woman I don´t like and don´t love.

There was a time in my life, not long ago, where I wanted all those "player" experiences, and now that I got them I feel regret for some. Like Roosh explained in one of his recent articles.
I may be becoming Blue Pill again, but I rather be chaste than going back to all this immoral behavior, which seems to destroy my soul.
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2019 03:49 PM by Sankt Michael.)
06-25-2019 03:46 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like Sankt Michael's post:
wwtl, Janardan, palandi, bucky
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #4
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-25-2019 02:11 PM)EndsExpect Wrote:  I think this topic deserves it's own thread.

I know we got some long timer forum members that happily bang random sluts all day or are constantly spinning plates. My experience with this is that while it helps abundance mentality... it also hinders the creation of deep meaningful bonds. We talk about getting sex from women all the time. Should we also be looking for intimacy? Is there a point to such a thing? Do we need women who know us deeply and still accept us?

What is love and how do we use it to make our lives better? Thoughts?

The English term "love" is a very broad term covering everything from infatuation to a mother's unconditional love for her child.

What is the thing you want to talk about?
06-25-2019 04:38 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like wwtl's post:
Montrose, questor70
Janardan Offline
Banned

Posts: 36
Joined: May 2019
Post: #5
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-25-2019 03:46 PM)Sankt Michael Wrote:  I recently got my first real girlfriend with 24 years through a Roosh miracle. Before I just had drunk one night stands and so on.
I am aware that it could be over any moment, but I don´t like the idea of going back chasing woman I don´t like and don´t love.

There was a time in my life, not long ago, where I wanted all those "player" experiences, and now that I got them I feel regret for some. Like Roosh explained in one of his recent articles.
I may be becoming Blue Pill again, but I rather be chaste than going back to all this immoral behavior, which seems to destroy my soul.

Agree with this.

The player lifestyle can start to just kind of blow after a certain point. I had a four month period where I was living pretty wholesome, just exercising, meditating, reading books, spending time with friends and family, and going outside. After suffering a minor injury (couldn't play my favorite sport for ~1 month) I got back on Tinder out of boredom.

The month I was back on Tinder was probably the worst month of the year. I had an STD scare, spent hours upon hours messaging girls, flaked on girls, got flaked on by girls. I was noticeably more anxious and depressed in this period. I was constantly on my phone checking the app and checking my texts, and stressing about when I was going to meet the next girl. My life just felt really complicated and strung out. I felt like a drug addict without ability to stop convulsively checking and using the app.

My injury healed, I'm back in the gym, and am moving back to my old lifestyle. Reading spiritual literature, doing martial arts, and being with my childhood friends and family is a superior existence IMO to trying to date at this point in my life.

For me I either want to be with a girl I actually like, or I'd rather just be alone. I have a high enough notch count, whatever needed to proved has been proved. Being reliant on sex, even for entertainment, is a losing move.
06-25-2019 05:08 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Janardan's post:
Sankt Michael, emoney, JiggyLordJr
GT777733 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 190
Joined: Jan 2018
Reputation: 19
Post: #6
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
I don't want to be an a**hole.

But, I'm going to cut to the chase on this thread (this is something I've been contemplating the last year or two quite regularly and deeply - so, I've actually had to get brutal with myself and ask myself some really cut throat questions).

No healthy guy, or guy that is thinking eventually that he might want a family, is going to sit there and tell you he wouldn't take an awesome connection and LTR with a girl tomorrow if it came along (although there are a very very small number of exceptions - guys that are just naturally wired differently and can live fulfilling and productive lives perennially single or in temporary multi year relationships where everyone wins).

These are the real questions that need to be answered:
1) What type of girl do you feel you deserve based for an LTR based on what you offer as a person and a man (if you've dated a lot of girls and put a lot of time into building out the rest of your life - you're going to expect a lot more than the average guy)
2) Does this girl realistically exist and in a general sense, where/how are you going to come across her (and why hasn't some other guy already snapped her up yet if she's that great?)

I can answer question 1, but not question 2 (and it's not through lack of effort).

Which leads me to my next logical conclusion ...

If we can't find women that we feel we deserve (for various reasons - social influences, logistics etc.) based on what we offer as men and people, and we reach our 30's and 40's and want stability, and eventually families in our lives, should we cut our losses and get with a super compliant and very agreeable 7 with a good/in shape body and passable looks?

Personally, for all the extra time, energy and sacrifice it can take to find an 8+ that is actually LTR material with decent relationship logistics, I am starting to think that the risk (of getting older and wasting time), and ROI of finding this isn't worth it. When I think about where social trends are going (and I'm not being negative here - these are accurate observations) - increasingly advanced and accessible technology (especially smartphones and social media), globalisation, heavier pushing of social justice issues and indoctrination in education systems etc. ... I lean towards this thought more heavily. 90%+ women are so heavily influenced by their environment, friends, family etc.

Although, I do see some guys have found success in Europe (if you're willing to live there and learn the language and culture etc ... I'm actually leaning towards going back and giving it one last crack from a dating perspective before Westernisation has taken a full hold), and other guys who are actually into it, SEA. Although, Europe is definitely not a guarantee to find something long term.

Also note, there's a huge difference between LTRs that go the distance, and the ones that end up falling apart for a whole host of reasons. There's also a difference between guys that go into a relationship expecting to be monogamous, and guys that go into it knowing they will be cheating regularly or irregularly.

I don't have the answers right now to all this though.

I just think that long term LTRs that you want to turn into something serious like marriage/and or kids, needs serious consideration. You don't want to spend years in a relationship, only for it to fall apart and you've wasted all that time off the dating market, or worse - you have marriage and kids involved, and now your future life and the life of others (kids) is potentially compromised. You want to do everything in your power to minimise that risk (although some risk will always be present). I'm not sure how much thought some guys put into these things.
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2019 09:58 PM by GT777733.)
06-25-2019 09:40 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like GT777733's post:
wwtl, Montrose, RedKurrant, Perspicacity
Meliorare93 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 193
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 2
Post: #7
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
I prefer the Greek words of love:

- Eros, or sexual passion. ...
- Philia, or deep friendship. ...
- Ludus, or playful love. ...
- Agape, or love for everyone. ...
- Pragma, or longstanding love. ...
- Philautia, or love of the self.

When I met my wife I felt Eros which I thought was Love....

This gradually changed into Ludus and then eventually into Philia...

Then it disintegrated until I found the red pill and I appreciated Philautia which made sure my relationship with my wife now is a form of Pragma.
06-26-2019 12:15 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 11 users Like Meliorare93's post:
wwtl, Montrose, Sankt Michael, PapayaTapper, rottenapple, Zenta, Perspicacity, RoastBeefCurtains4Me, emoney, Felix88, JiggyLordJr
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #8
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-25-2019 09:40 PM)GT777733 Wrote:  These are the real questions that need to be answered:
1) What type of girl do you feel you deserve based for an LTR based on what you offer as a person and a man (if you've dated a lot of girls and put a lot of time into building out the rest of your life - you're going to expect a lot more than the average guy)
2) Does this girl realistically exist and in a general sense, where/how are you going to come across her (and why hasn't some other guy already snapped her up yet if she's that great?)
(06-26-2019 12:15 AM)Meliorare93 Wrote:  I prefer the Greek words of love:

- Eros, or sexual passion. ...
- Philia, or deep friendship. ...
- Ludus, or playful love. ...
- Agape, or love for everyone. ...
- Pragma, or longstanding love. ...
- Philautia, or love of the self.

When I met my wife I felt Eros which I thought was Love....

This gradually changed into Ludus and then eventually into Philia...

Sexual passion with the usual bang on the first or second date never lead into commitment for me. Girls I consider for LTR start in the Ludus department and Eros develops slowly afterwards, along with Philia. Which interestingly is much more in line with traditional courtship. Of course, the girls where that process actually works are rare as unicorns in the West, they usually flake long before.

(This doesn't touch the question if two persons "deserve" each other, which I consider off topic and won't discuss here.)
06-26-2019 12:57 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes wwtl's post:
Montrose
Montrose Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 663
Joined: Dec 2017
Reputation: 11
Post: #9
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
Most people have abysmally low Emotional intelligence and are unable to understand the different types of emotions that have been called Love. Most people think of Love as an indefinite positive emotion felt in the presence of a sexual partner.

A useful concept is Limerence (passionate emotional Love, see wikipedia), even though few people will actually experience Limerence in their life.

Also note that in a philosophical or religious sense, Love is not an emotion.
06-26-2019 01:58 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Montrose's post:
PapayaTapper, wwtl
Vladimir Poontang Offline
Alpha Male
****

Posts: 1,389
Joined: Feb 2017
Reputation: 26
Post: #10
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
What often happens is that some guy can't get laid or can't get a girlfriend, and rarely gets any female validation. Then he learns game or goes abroad, or both, and sees good results. Then he gets carried away and before he knows it he's addicted to the drug called "See? See? I CAN get female validation!" That's where the problems start.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

http://inspiredentrepreneur.weebly.com/
06-26-2019 04:23 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Vladimir Poontang's post:
RoastBeefCurtains4Me
firat113 Offline
Recovering Beta
*

Posts: 150
Joined: Jan 2018
Reputation: 2
Post: #11
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(08-04-2017 09:08 AM)Noir Wrote:  
(08-02-2017 05:17 PM)polar Wrote:  A broader interpretation of love: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love

As a Greek speaker, the way that those words are used, in Modern Greek essentially translate in to 'to love someone' and 'being in love with someone'.

In love would be a state, bordering with lust. (Erotas, from Eros)

Loving someone would be a feeling, similar to affection. (Agapo, verb from Agapi). You also call people 'agapi mou' (my love).

I use this in my outlook of making a distinction between loving someone and being in love.

The other two examples, Filia (mainly friendship but sometimes, companionship) and Storgi (affection/supporting nature) wouldn't really apply here.

My take on love without going into chemicals/dopamine/endorphins and physiological reactions...

Most 'I love you's' were more of a natural, I love you because I appreciate you. Mother, grandmother, family members. It's an acknowledgment of an investment in yourself, taken for granted as you had no choice and you developed your reaction to that in the form of appreciation and 'love'. It's a natural state of being.

Everyone shows it in different ways.

I have only told one woman I loved her and that was a consequence of being in love. It was a charged 'ILY' but also, it slipped. This was way past learning game, frame control and all the other shit, it came from a meaningful place.

At the same time, it was from a place of fear; fear of losing that person.

I told her I loved her last night, before we went to bed. It was a completely different meaning. This meaning is not really touched upon but universally understood as having 'matured' since the first time.

Now, looking back, it's an umbrella term for appreciation within a subjective context. Depending on this, it could express lust, gratitude, acceptance among other things.

Sometimes, it's a ping sent out, to receive a response that gives you feedback, that the other person is feeling the same way.

Occasionally, it's the acceptance of the status quo and an indirect way of acknowledging that person's effect on your psyche and emotional state.

As GS mentioned, it's also a way of showing vulnerability, letting your partner know that you don't always just want them, sometimes you need them and indeed, that is also an acknowledgement in itself.

For me, love can mean many things. I love certain people unconditionally due to having certain people who have been incapable of expressing love (due to psychological difficulties). It's a different thing to being in love. This is, in Greek, agapi.

To me, being in love (erotas), is being in a state that alters between various 'microstates';

- lust
- appreciation
- passion
- anger
- hope
- excitement
- uncertainty
- infatuation

It's the romantic aspect of it and the current state of mind you buy into, or rather, allow yourself to get swept in.

Sometimes, you can love someone and be in love.

Sometimes, you can love someone without being in love due to the non-romantic nature of the relationship.

Sometimes, you can be in love, but not love them as it's not reciprocal and this could turn out in to bitterness.

A lot of us discovered game because we over-invested and misread the signals being given off by women.

We mistook our state of being 'in love' with 'loving' someone.

This is a difficult concept to fully grasp as we are conditioned to 'love' when it's reciprocal.

There is a reason we want what we cannot have and pedestalize it. This is the lustful part of our characters and this can definitely be misconstrued as any of the above.

There is also a reason we fall in love when we aren't around people anymore.

It's the fear of loss, the acceptance of our appreciation for them (the stimulus of their presence is taken away) and of course, the physiological changes that occur in our body when they are there vs when they are not.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.

I enjoy discussing these things with women, even more-so pre-bang.

Alas, I am in a relationship now of multiple years, so my opportunities have waned but I do get in a good shot every now and then.

Apart from planting seeds for later on, it's very interesting to actually discuss with females and get their opinion on it.

The yin and yang, so to say.

Not sure if the US posters will agree on that, judging from the reported state of US women currently.
06-26-2019 07:55 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #12
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
Quote:Most 'I love you's' were more of a natural, I love you because I appreciate you. Mother, grandmother, family members. It's an acknowledgment of an investment in yourself, taken for granted as you had no choice and you developed your reaction to that in the form of appreciation and 'love'. It's a natural state of being.

Everyone shows it in different ways.

I have only told one woman I loved her and that was a consequence of being in love. It was a charged 'ILY' but also, it slipped. This was way past learning game, frame control and all the other shit, it came from a meaningful place.

Cultural differences play a big role. Some like to throw around "Love ya"s like candy. But translate "I love you" literally to German and you're not far from a marriage proposal in terms of meaning. So one usually uses softer statements like "I like you" to display affection. Also relatives don't use ILY for that reason.
06-26-2019 08:48 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
questor70 Offline
True Player
*****

Posts: 2,036
Joined: Jan 2017
Reputation: 19
Post: #13
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
Red pill says women can't love men the way men want to be loved, and I think that's generally true. I think women can temporarily behave in a way that makes men think they're being loved the way they want but then the rug invariably gets pulled from under them.

So you have to decide whether to go with the flow of that or throw the baby out with the bathwater.
(This post was last modified: 06-26-2019 08:55 AM by questor70.)
06-26-2019 08:54 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #14
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-26-2019 08:54 AM)questor70 Wrote:  Red pill says women can't love men the way men want to be loved, and I think that's generally true. I think women can temporarily behave in a way that makes men think they're being loved the way they want but then the rug invariably gets pulled from under them.

Men can make conscious assessments and decisions about their emotions.

Women cannot, they are overwhelmed by them. So the question if a woman can be in love with a man or love a man doesn't even matter, because her behavior can still be completely erratic, depending on her cycle. Wink
06-26-2019 09:10 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like wwtl's post:
Montrose, Cup_Cake, JiggyLordJr
Montrose Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 663
Joined: Dec 2017
Reputation: 11
Post: #15
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-26-2019 08:54 AM)questor70 Wrote:  Red pill says women can't love men the way men want to be loved, and I think that's generally true. I think women can temporarily behave in a way that makes men think they're being loved the way they want but then the rug invariably gets pulled from under them.

I have no idea where this idea comes from. What kind of 'man' wants to be loved in a certain way? Sounds so beta. In my view real men don't care if they are loved, let alone *how* they are loved. I expect my wife to be affectionate and obedient, 'how she loves' is none of my business.
06-26-2019 12:19 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Montrose's post:
mr-ed209
EndsExpect Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 969
Joined: May 2016
Reputation: 23
Post: #16
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-25-2019 02:55 PM)Baphomet Wrote:  OK, we need to put a stop to something, and we need to stop it right now.
"It's" is not a possessive pronoun. It is a contraction of the two words "it is".
"Its" is the possessive form of the pronoun, "it".
My apologies. We return now to our regularly scheduled discussion.

I truly and honestly appreciate the correction.

(06-25-2019 03:46 PM)Sankt Michael Wrote:  I recently got my first real girlfriend with 24 years through a Roosh miracle. Before I just had drunk one night stands and so on.
I am aware that it could be over any moment, but I don´t like the idea of going back chasing woman I don´t like and don´t love.
There was a time in my life, not long ago, where I wanted all those "player" experiences, and now that I got them I feel regret for some. Like Roosh explained in one of his recent articles.
I may be becoming Blue Pill again, but I rather be chaste than going back to all this immoral behavior, which seems to destroy my soul.

What does that have to do with love? Relationships require a slightly different skillset than drunk one nighters, but first relationships very often fail because you have not learned the important lessons that you need to handle a woman. I'm barely capable and I'm just shy of 40. Maybe I'm slow on the uptake, but still take this advice to heart and learn as much as possible.

(06-26-2019 12:15 AM)Meliorare93 Wrote:  I prefer the Greek words of love:
- Eros, or sexual passion. ...
- Philia, or deep friendship. ...
- Ludus, or playful love. ...
- Agape, or love for everyone. ...
- Pragma, or longstanding love. ...
- Philautia, or love of the self.
When I met my wife I felt Eros which I thought was Love....
This gradually changed into Ludus and then eventually into Philia...
Then it disintegrated until I found the red pill and I appreciated Philautia which made sure my relationship with my wife now is a form of Pragma.

This post is gold for breaking down the subject and showing how it applies to life and relationships. I think maybe people can learn from what you posted here.

It's true that the English word Love is essentially meaningless. What makes it usable is modifiers and context.
06-27-2019 04:06 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like EndsExpect's post:
wwtl, Meliorare93
EndsExpect Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 969
Joined: May 2016
Reputation: 23
Post: #17
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-26-2019 01:58 AM)Montrose Wrote:  Most people have abysmally low Emotional intelligence and are unable to understand the different types of emotions that have been called Love. Most people think of Love as an indefinite positive emotion felt in the presence of a sexual partner.
A useful concept is Limerence (passionate emotional Love, see wikipedia), even though few people will actually experience Limerence in their life.
Also note that in a philosophical or religious sense, Love is not an emotion.

Of the guys who post here that I would like to go drink beers with... you are very high on that list. I think you have essentially encapsulated this issue well.

(06-26-2019 12:19 PM)Montrose Wrote:  
(06-26-2019 08:54 AM)questor70 Wrote:  Red pill says women can't love men the way men want to be loved, and I think that's generally true. I think women can temporarily behave in a way that makes men think they're being loved the way they want but then the rug invariably gets pulled from under them.
I have no idea where this idea comes from. What kind of 'man' wants to be loved in a certain way? Sounds so beta. In my view real men don't care if they are loved, let alone *how* they are loved. I expect my wife to be affectionate and obedient, 'how she loves' is none of my business.

Montrose, I believe your attitude here represents the ideal attitude all men should strive to achieve.

With that said... I believe many men both red pilled and not, are looking to a woman to provide them with some kind of unconditional love. No woman I've ever encountered is capable of unconditional love for a romantic partner... so this statement is correct in this regard.

I say this to any man reading. If you expect a woman to love you unconditionally, then you are a fool. If you need a woman to love you unconditionally... then you are broken.

If you love yourself unconditionally, then you don't need it from a woman. Validation comes through her obedience and affection as Montrose points out. Wise men should listen to his words regarding this!
06-27-2019 04:17 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes EndsExpect's post:
Montrose
EndsExpect Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 969
Joined: May 2016
Reputation: 23
Post: #18
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
To my opinion I believe that it's important to make a girl fall in love with you IF you plan to have a long term relationship with her. It is important to determine what type of chemistry she most responds to, and what makes her feel loved. The Chemistry is what starts the process. Guys who are good at game essentially are learning how to quickly build chemistry with women. To continue that process you need to start pressing the buttons of her love sensors. A girl that needs lots of attention, then give her lots of attention. If a girl needs gifts... give her gifts and they don't have to be expensive. Shit, flowers I picked on the side of the road have been more effective than jewelry.

When a woman starts to feel love towards you the rest of the relationship starts moving in the right direction. We all know it's important to fuck her well, but even that becomes less important. Spoke to a woman who spent 10 years with a man who didn't even have a functional penis (injury) and never had sex once, yet still described the first few years as the best relationship of her life.
06-27-2019 04:30 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes EndsExpect's post:
Montrose
Donfitz007 Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 699
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 3
Post: #19
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
In my opinion a guy needs to be at the point where he’s cold enough to not care about love, but warm enough to embrace it. Meaning he should not pursue it. Also it depends on the man, I don’t think I’m build for relationships. But I know men who are disgusted by the player lifestyle.
06-27-2019 05:31 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Donfitz007's post:
Zenta, emoney, JiggyLordJr
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #20
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-27-2019 05:31 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  In my opinion a guy needs to be at the point where he’s cold enough to not care about love, but warm enough to embrace it. Meaning he should not pursue it. Also it depends on the man, I don’t think I’m build for relationships. But I know men who are disgusted by the player lifestyle.

I got red-pilled a long time ago, long before the term RP even existed, but was disgusted by the player lifestyle as well, so I didn't embrace it. Instead I did go monk mode a decade ago and didn't pursue women (anymore). Now I'm dealing with the consequences of these decisions. I'm unsure if I can recommend this lifestyle to anyone.
06-27-2019 05:59 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Zenta Offline
Beta Orbiter
*
Gold Member

Posts: 82
Joined: Mar 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #21
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-27-2019 05:59 AM)wwtl Wrote:  
(06-27-2019 05:31 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  In my opinion a guy needs to be at the point where he’s cold enough to not care about love, but warm enough to embrace it. Meaning he should not pursue it. Also it depends on the man, I don’t think I’m build for relationships. But I know men who are disgusted by the player lifestyle.

I got red-pilled a long time ago, long before the term RP even existed, but was disgusted by the player lifestyle as well, so I didn't embrace it. Instead I did go monk mode a decade ago and didn't pursue women (anymore). Now I'm dealing with the consequences of these decisions. I'm unsure if I can recommend this lifestyle to anyone.

What are the consequences? I find myself in an interesting position. I've had an 8yr failed LTR, I've had some 1yr failed LTR's in there and short dates that don't work. I've lived the player life style the last few years and am burned out on it. I'm not interested in MGTOW yet all I see now is more failed relationships than positive ones and don't have much reason to believe that at this point I will have a successful one. While I need to always work on frame better, I just find it difficult to keep a woman in this clown world where they are constantly connected to the net 24/7. Monk mode seems like it gets rid of the relationship problems but it brings a host of all new problems.
(This post was last modified: 06-27-2019 11:42 AM by Zenta.)
06-27-2019 11:41 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
wwtl Offline
Beta Orbiter
*

Posts: 126
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #22
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
(06-27-2019 11:41 AM)Zenta Wrote:  What are the consequences? I find myself in an interesting position. I've had an 8yr failed LTR, I've had some 1yr failed LTR's in there and short dates that don't work. I've lived the player life style the last few years and am burned out on it. I'm not interested in MGTOW yet all I see now is more failed relationships than positive ones and don't have much reason to believe that at this point I will have a successful one. While I need to always work on frame better, I just find it difficult to keep a woman in this clown world where they are constantly connected to the net 24/7. Monk mode seems like it gets rid of the relationship problems but it brings a host of all new problems.

"1yr failed LTR's in there and short dates that don't work" was essentially my experience before going monk mode for a long time. And that was before they were permanently connected to the matrix.

But getting back into dating from monk mode without (recent) experience is really hard, even with game basics already embedded in the subconscious. So I wouldn't recommend dropping out entirely.
06-27-2019 11:58 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes wwtl's post:
Zenta
SilentOne Offline
Game Denialist

Posts: 63
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 1
Post: #23
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
Love is an unconditional act. You doing a positive act to someone or something else without expecting a reward. Your intent is huge. Sometimes things don't go well even if you do everything right. It's the thought that counts.

There's nothing wrong with being in love. It's a fun and exciting experience. The bond you two share is so great it's like you two are living in your own worlds full with optimism.



Just don't get married!
06-27-2019 10:55 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like SilentOne's post:
Zenta, DoneDeal
jackgig Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 11
Joined: May 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #24
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
I'm curious if possessiveness actually is effective or not.

For example if you say you want your girl to be exclusive to you and watch her like a hawk does it increase chance she won't stray?

Or if a girl is going to stray they will just do it anyways?

2 schools of thought is that mate guarding shows low value and insecurity so can push her to another guys arm. Second if you're not possessive she'll find a man who makes his claim more rather then being hands off.

I've been mostly hands off because seems pretty impossible to control people. I just find the people who the feelings are mutual. I find I can't really force things besides an initial approach and invite. Making sure my energy level is good so I can communicate and express what I want with charm and enticement etc.
06-28-2019 04:12 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Montrose Offline
Wingman
***

Posts: 663
Joined: Dec 2017
Reputation: 11
Post: #25
RE: Discussion Regarding Love
Being hands off is better. If you watch her like a hawk, it reduces slightly the chances that she cheats, but it's not worth it because:
- strong men are outcome-independent. If you look like you can't stand losing her, you come off as weak and you'll lose her respect
- if she wants to cheat, she will find a way to cheat anyway
- it's a better use of energy to focus on keeping her emotionally attached to you.
06-28-2019 09:49 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Montrose's post:
jackgig, emoney, Dream Medicine
Post Reply 


Possibly Related Threads...
Thread: Author Replies: Views: Last Post
  Moma and RudeBwoy RoundTable Discussion on Black Man Game Options Moma 10,711 2,615,246 07-01-2019 06:49 PM
Last Post: Moma
  Finding a Religious Wife - Discussion EndsExpect 72 8,426 07-01-2019 06:18 AM
Last Post: wwtl
Lightbulb Discussion: How to respond when a girl asks for your Instagram and you don't have one shakeitt 26 2,775 05-17-2019 06:45 AM
Last Post: No More Mr. Soy Boy

Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 2 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication