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Health I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
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unitm Offline
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Post: #1
I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Hey everyone,

I'm having trouble dating and I'm wondering if anyone can offer up advice. Obviously there is a lot to say about this but I'll try and keep things concise.

I'm 28 years old and I haven't slept with a woman for roughly 5 years now. Standing here now, I can tell you I haven't felt attracted to a woman for a long time. I see them and I talk with them and I beat my meat to a screen but in person, woman don't make my dick hard. (inb4 "maybe you're gay bro" - nah, not at all. Not into it.)

Believe it or not, I've had good success with women in the past. I was never a player, with multiple side pieces, but I was involved with the PUA. I sarged with all sorts of guys with good success. It was fun phase.

Then I went to college and found a long term relationship. Things were great. Sex was abundant and I had a massive libido. So did my girlfriend, so we had some great chemistry. I had some serious anxiety issues in school so I never got far and then I left, and when I left, I broke it off with her. I don't feel I took it as hard as she did.

Because I screwed up in school, I moved to another city, one I hadn't been to before. I moved in with my mom, where, for about 6 months, I did nothing(and I mean nothing) but smoke dope and watch TV. Then I found a job and made some new friends. But I wasn't into girls very much anymore.

Now I'm 28. I've worked a lot and I've partied a lot, it's just getting laid hasn't been a big part of that. Recently, I've been focusing hard on my career but only have disappointments to show for it. I thought if I invested enough time, and dropped enough bad habits for professionalism, I would move up in the workforce. I quit drinking, I meditate, and I only really smoke weed in the evenings nowadays.

But I'm envious and a bit jealous and bitter when I see naturals live their life, talking about girls they want to bang, people they matched on Tinder, spontaneous hookups etc. Because that's not really coming to me anymore. I understand that mindset, considering I went to college. I also watched a lot of the social circle mastery series by Braddock, several times over the course of many years. I understand it but I can't be fucked to live it. And that's a big challenge for a young guy like me right now.

I take full responsibility for my decisions here. There is no one to blame but myself. But I feel nowadays I dont have the time to pursue women anymore, like I'm inadequate. Everyone's time is so limited and mine is no different. Over the years of being alone, I've instilled a lot of good independent-living habits, which is great, but I can't imagine having a girl in my life that I can fit in with my limited time.

I speak with a therapist about my problems all the time and he's been great. Through him, I've found myself seeking bigger challenges and bigger incomes. But this is something I haven't solved yet. He tells me to go do activities where I'll meet girls. I agree but I dont feel I have that time to commit. Also I dont want to come off as a creep anymore. Nowadays I'm more concerned about being a nice professional guy that being a sdx partner.

So what do I do? Where do I turn? Is there anyone that has had this experience before?
06-25-2019 06:10 PM
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n0000 Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Stop jerking off dude. Nofap
06-25-2019 06:53 PM
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Captain Gh Offline
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Post: #3
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
^ I'm currently reading a book by Gabor Mate called in the Realm of Hungry Ghosts... and you might want to check it out since there's a couple things you mentioned that stood out to (unfortunately) psychological expert like me!

I've been deep in NLP since 2012... and this book single handedly lays out the roots of psychological / intimacy issues better than anything out there (even not getting plates when you know how involves intimacy and/or psychological issues)

I have over 200 street approaches under my Belt with Toronto women (As per Uncle Roosh: The Worst City in North America for Men)... and haven't gotten laid in 2 years... because is not even something I want to contemplate doing. Psychological issues are like taking an elevator: once you've reach the top floor: you must get out or go back down. If the top floor's blocked... you have to remove it to advance (go back down)

I might be projecting Big Time Here... but if you COULD get laid... yet are not even INTERESTED in doing so... something's going on. If you're Broke... then something's DEFINITELY going on!

Know Thyself, and analyze your situation to grow from it. Uncle Roosh went from International Playboy to the Future of Red Pill Christianity! Anything is possible for a rational Red Pill man willing to put in some work
06-25-2019 06:59 PM
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RawGod Offline
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Post: #4
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Lay off the weed and porn.

Dr Johnson rumbles with the RawGod. And lives to regret it.
06-25-2019 07:02 PM
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Repo Online
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Post: #5
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Part of the problem with your brain is it's been so long since you've been laid that your brain has stopped associating women in real life with getting laid, hence the lack of boner.
06-25-2019 07:25 PM
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jbkunt2 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Quit the porn immediately. it fries your brain.

Google "your brain on porn" if you somehow missed it.
06-25-2019 10:37 PM
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tomzestatlu Offline
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Post: #7
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
You don´t have time to meet girls, but you have time to smoke weed in evenings?
Right now you are telling us you work every day of the week from 5am till 11pm. I bet you are not. You are just throwing excuses. "Meditation" while being high from weed won´t get you anywhere.

Stop porn and weed and start lifting ASAP. Weed is for loosers.

"Love your life, perfect your life, beautify all things in your life. Seek to make your life long and its purpose in the service of your people."
06-26-2019 05:32 AM
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Mikestar Offline
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Post: #8
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Tom is right. Also what may help you is to go to an environment where sex is a big part of everyday life, such as Latin America. Quit porn, weed, lift weights and get your blood pumping everyday with a good diet with some sun exposure. You are not inadequate man, you are whatever you make yourself. Start slow, you will get there, vices like weed, movies and porn won’t will place you two steps backwards.
06-26-2019 06:49 AM
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Sword and Board Offline
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Post: #9
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Ditch your current Therapist. Your new therapist should be a personal trainer.
06-26-2019 07:06 AM
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Koolman Offline
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Post: #10
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
You are still young: 28. stop worrying. You can find a girlfriend still when you are 35 or older.
06-26-2019 08:48 AM
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BeardedMastodon Offline
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Post: #11
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Life is just like that sometimes man. We’re not entitled to these things like sex and relationships. We can strive torwards them. But sometimes. It does seem like banging our head on the wall
06-27-2019 02:09 AM
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internetprince Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
focus on $
06-27-2019 07:26 PM
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Tail Gunner Offline
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Post: #13
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
(06-25-2019 06:10 PM)unitm Wrote:  and I only really smoke weed in the evenings nowadays.

Gee, I wonder what could be wrong?

Laugh4
07-02-2019 11:43 PM
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joecolombia
L.A Boy Offline
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Post: #14
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
definitely stop w/ the porn.
07-03-2019 01:33 AM
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MusicForThePiano Offline
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Post: #15
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
If you have trouble with porn and jerking off, its usually from touching yourself. If you can't control touching yourself, wear underwear with a cup in it. Also don't sit in front of the computer for too long. Turn off your internet, literally unplug your router, or cable if you have wired, whenever you're not using it. Too many EMF waves can cause hormonal instability and trap you in the negative feedback loop of porn --> arousal --> jerking off --> not going out hunting / not copulating with a woman --> more depression --> lower testosterone --> boredom --> repeat

Just be more social. Women don't seem to notice loners from what I've experienced, unless you're a hunter. You need to dedicate more of your life to building a crew, or your own tribe.
07-03-2019 04:00 AM
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Sargon2112 Offline
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Post: #16
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
Cease & desist with the weed and the porn, man. Exercise after you get the first two dropped. If you have trouble with stationary exercise, like weights or machines - try cycling or mountain biking. You're moving and you essentially force yourself to double the workout, since you have to ride back.
(This post was last modified: 07-03-2019 01:48 PM by Sargon2112.)
07-03-2019 01:38 PM
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Eddie Winslow Offline
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Post: #17
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
I can relate to this post alot. There’s no doubt cutting out the vices will help you face the root issue more head on (mine was poker), but it will not solve it for you. Your problem is psychological, as mine was/is.
You’ve even been introspective enough to identify that the problem is feelings of inadequacy (and probably deep-rooted fears of rejection or something similar), which is excellent.

Improving your life requires ACTION, and the RIGHT action. You tell yourself that you are working at it by going to therapy, meditating, watching the same social circle course five times, etc. This is all fluff and mental masturbation.

What you need to do is challenge your feelings of inadequacy by putting yourself in real-life situations and working through them in real time. The most uncomfortable situations are the ones will provide the most growth at the fastest rate.

-Approach a girl you like in the day as your honest self and tell her she’s cute. Let the feelings of creepiness and inadequacy and social anxiety come over you. Feel the sting of rejection.

-If you find yourself in a decent conversation with a girl at night, try to isolate her or ask to go home with you, even if it feels way too early to do so. See what happens.

-Spend the money on a bootcamp if you really think you need help being held accountable for taking proper action (although realize if you aren’t fully committed to challenging your mental hangups, the benefits and results will be temporary).

TLDR - be honest with yourself and take action or STFU
07-05-2019 09:14 AM
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Pete Offline
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Post: #18
RE: I'm having trouble dating anyone, period
I can relate.

I moved out of my country about 2~ years ago because of a natural disaster and my father's death. It was supposed to be temporary. In my country I had 4-5 girls I used to fuck regularly,was poorer but happier, had many friends, etc.

I moved to Boston and got a job and got nice money, got comfortable. On the 2yrs I've been here I've only had sex once, I'm lonely (no friends-people here only get closer to you to take advantage of stuff you have), I'm stressed becauseof a job I don't care, etc.

About a month ago I decided I'll move back to where I belong and work to make my goals a reality even if I have to starve for a while. I could stay here and be miserable and hate my life or I could take control of my future.

I decided to take control of it. What are you going to decide?

If something on your life is not going as you want it is not because of an external factor. You're the determining factor. You're the one who has to work to get what you want.
(This post was last modified: 07-05-2019 10:15 AM by Pete.)
07-05-2019 10:14 AM
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