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Ghost or Something Else?
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LeveragedMan Offline
Male Feminist

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Post: #1
Ghost or Something Else?
Hey all -

(First of all, I know strong lurker on this post as its my first here, and feel this belongs in Newbie. I appreciate all the info on this forum, I come on here when I could use some great advice, and it never fails)

About 3 weeks ago:

Met a girl <25 out at a bar on a Friday night, brought her back to my place, yada yada yada. I was out doing shit Sunday and enjoyed hanging with her, so I hit her up and told her to come by and she did, we went back after that did our thing again, we chilled all night, she stayed the night.

Again, I liked hanging out with her and shouldn't have taken it for granted, probably.

Next week, we meet up again on a Friday night and do it all again, hang out pretty much all day Saturday - did the same thing...

3rd week rolls around and we go out to dinner/drinks, except this was pretty much sober this date, and we did the same shit had a lot of fun, come back to my place.

AND THIS (below) - I believe is where I messed up.

She asked me after we were done hanging: "Are you seeing other girls"...

And I was not ready for the question and essentially responded yeah, but not really. (Should have said no, I know that, popped out lol). She said she didn't care, but I think she did, I sensed a bit of sadness. But she seemed like she was over it then.

In that 3 week period I had a couple of other encounters, but did not actually like hanging with those girls as much although goodlooking.

I went out of town for the weekend, we were plannin meetin up when i got back for a fun date, but eventually she just totally stopped responding.

Idk what it was, but I sent some text and she didn't respond - sent another a day or two later to "make sure she got it cause my phone is shit", no response. Not going to send any more.

Still has not responded, I go back to town in a day or so - my thought is just let it die and she'll come back if she wants.

But, my thought is it was one of four things:

1) She didn't like my answer to the question she asked and I fucked up with
2) I was a rebound to an ex, and they got back together since I saw texts come in from guys I'm fairly positive are exes
3) Low chance somethings wrong with her phone as it was actually constantly malfunctioning when i was with her, but don't think this is the case
4) She found another shiny object when I was out of town (which prob tails on my shitty response to her question)

Other notes: although a cool girl, def has orbiters and many guy friends.

What are your guys thoughts on this besides the obvious I messed up on answering that question...and whether I should continue to pursue?

Not really oneitis here, but maybe a minor case solely bc idk what went wrong (besides my answer).

Thanks all

(Edit: per new forum rules, may make some things sound vague but hope its clear.)
(This post was last modified: 07-01-2019 10:55 PM by LeveragedMan.)
07-01-2019 10:33 PM
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Lost in Transfiguration Offline
Banned

Posts: 162
Joined: May 2019
Post: #2
RE: Ghost or Something Else?
You have to strike when the iron is hot given girls limited attention spans. When you're pursuing a new relationship or arrangement or encounter especially if it's not a serious thing you will be shit tested. If things aren't serious you deny deny deny, blow her off, or reframe the conversation.

Girls flake, girls ghost. It already seemed like you've answered your own question.

How far did things go? That maybe is the problem here you were acting like too much of a chump I don't know. You have to remain in control and you have to take the lead. I'm going to guess she got tired of being in date mode.
(This post was last modified: 07-02-2019 01:18 AM by Lost in Transfiguration.)
07-02-2019 01:17 AM
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LeveragedMan Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 7
Joined: Oct 2017
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Post: #3
RE: Ghost or Something Else?
(07-02-2019 01:17 AM)Lost in Transfiguration Wrote:  You have to strike when the iron is hot given girls limited attention spans. When you're pursuing a new relationship or arrangement or encounter especially if it's not a serious thing you will be shit tested. If things aren't serious you deny deny deny, blow her off, or reframe the conversation.

Girls flake, girls ghost. It already seemed like you've answered your own question.

How far did things go? That maybe is the problem here you were acting like too much of a chump I don't know. You have to remain in control and you have to take the lead. I'm going to guess she got tired of being in date mode.

Yeah - was hesitant to describe how far things went due to the new rules.

But, we the deal was closed on the first night (after a pick up at the bar), morning and every time after that and it was great.

It wasn't just dates, just ways to keep the interaction going that I enjoyed doing anyway with/without her.
(This post was last modified: 07-02-2019 09:29 AM by LeveragedMan.)
07-02-2019 09:29 AM
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rudebwoy Away
Innovative Casanova
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Posts: 7,979
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Post: #4
RE: Ghost or Something Else?
radio silence

If you liked her, then why did you tell her you are dating other people.

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07-02-2019 05:36 PM
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standard Offline
Male Feminist

Posts: 12
Joined: Apr 2019
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Post: #5
RE: Ghost or Something Else?
1. (most important) you’re an idiot across multiple dimensions
2. ghosting means everything didnt go well. it doesn’t mean something in particular went wrong.

based on your synopsis, it sounds like you telling her you were seeing others got her really disappointed. she was hoping for something more from you. specially with the texts you sent (idk the contents but based on the behavior) you came off like a player.

I wouldn’t count on things proceeding well with her but I do think its possible that shell send you a text within the week. you might be able to play that off well if you try and once you meet her in person youve already won. qualm her fears and show that you like her. do some gesture. if you don’t like her then cut her off. its psychopathic and really ruins a girl for the rest of us if you abuse her psychologically by lying and dragging her on.
(This post was last modified: 07-02-2019 09:41 PM by standard.)
07-02-2019 09:40 PM
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