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losing my invisibility cloak
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sauron Offline
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Post: #1
losing my invisibility cloak
I found my self hanging out regularly with a bunch of attractive women in my social volunteer group. Id say the fall in the 6-8 range. I'm not very sexually attracted to any in particular, but I wouldn't say no if the opportunity arises.

The problem is I find myself regularly surrounded by them but as the only guy its hard for me to "game". I can't game all 10 of them at once and isolation is equally difficult. I frequently find myself disappearing. It almost like I become invisible and they just start having girl talk. I'm curious to know how to handle the dynamics of such a situation. On one hand I feel like I need to do something to command attention, on the other hand I hate coming off as attention seeking. I also don't want to be the nice "beta" guy of the group because fuck that.

I'm not strongly attracted to any girl in particular but I would like to make the most of this social goldmine of attractive girls. I don't mind being friends at all, I just don't want to be a "beta" friend. How would Chad handle this situation?

TLDR Find myself being invisible amongst group of girls. How can I be Alpha as the only guy in the group without coming off as attention seeking?

[I believe this post is Roosh 2.0 compliant]
07-12-2019 03:25 AM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #2
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
Become the most interesting man in the room.
Forget all that alpha/chad non sense.
Become fun to talk to and be around. Girls will want to talk to you.

Make a game of them picking out a girl for you and have them bring her over into your friend ground.

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07-12-2019 03:56 AM
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not-a-pua Offline
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Post: #3
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
Women know other Women.
Expand the relationship. Go to partys. Maybe take one of them you like out for a hike.
There is really no need to try and emulate an Alpha - you are or you aren't.
07-12-2019 04:50 AM
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jcrew247 Offline
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Post: #4
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
(07-12-2019 03:25 AM)sauron Wrote:  I found my self hanging out regularly with a bunch of attractive women in my social volunteer group. Id say the fall in the 6-8 range. I'm not very sexually attracted to any in particular, but I wouldn't say no if the opportunity arises.

The problem is I find myself regularly surrounded by them but as the only guy its hard for me to "game". I can't game all 10 of them at once and isolation is equally difficult. I frequently find myself disappearing. It almost like I become invisible and they just start having girl talk. I'm curious to know how to handle the dynamics of such a situation. On one hand I feel like I need to do something to command attention, on the other hand I hate coming off as attention seeking. I also don't want to be the nice "beta" guy of the group because fuck that.

I'm not strongly attracted to any girl in particular but I would like to make the most of this social goldmine of attractive girls. I don't mind being friends at all, I just don't want to be a "beta" friend. How would Chad handle this situation?

TLDR Find myself being invisible amongst group of girls. How can I be Alpha as the only guy in the group without coming off as attention seeking?

[I believe this post is Roosh 2.0 compliant]

I'm a little confused here, if you don't want to date any of them, then there isn't much of a problem being "just friends" and the "beta male"
If you want to secretly date one of them or privately hookup without anyone in
the group knowing about it, then it might be easier to be in the background and having less rumors and gossip about who you are dating/shagging. It sounds like you want to try to date one of them, and it might be easier to privately talk to whichever girl you were interested in and develop a stronger connection.

The problem with large groups is that if you make a wrong move and
piss off/break up with one of the girls, then you can get ostracized from
the group, and then you lose 10 of the girls instead of just 1 girl. Just figure out if you want to date anyone of the women and be alpha to her
only. Otherwise, if you are hitting on all 10 of the women as an alpha
male you run the risk of creating unnecessary drama/jealous and
potentially getting kicked out of the group.

Do you want to try to date their friends? If so, you can be the beta friend, to try to have them set up blind dates for you. What are the ages of these women and what type of charity is it? If you behave to
macho and alpha, you run the risk of being seen as a narcistic player-type which
can damage your standing in the charity.
07-12-2019 06:56 AM
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Captain Gh Offline
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Post: #5
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
Don't shit over there if you need this volunteering experience for your career goals! Since they're comfortable around you... There's no tension aka no attraction towards you from the leaders of that group... and the Herd then fallows!

Nothing wrong with that. Simply use this volunteering to climb economically, and Game other Women online or by cold approaches. Turning this group towards attraction would require ridiculous Hard Work. Not worth it. Women are plentiful remember that
07-12-2019 01:36 PM
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mkultra22 Offline
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Post: #6
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
^^He has a point.

Maybe you want to use the girls in the group as props, for getting another girl not in the group? That seems like a good way to leverage them but also to avoid alienating them as a friend group.

This is going to weird but maybe you also want to make yourself more comfortable around the group and learn how they tick. In such circumstances it would be a good idea to work on your story telling, humor, body language, touching, etc. And also, compliments. Compliment things they wear, their bags, whatever you can think of. Doing this makes you be someone that want to hang around with, and will give you a leg up in future interactions with women. Use it as an opportunity to hone your female skills.
(This post was last modified: 07-12-2019 01:50 PM by mkultra22.)
07-12-2019 01:44 PM
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jcrew247 Offline
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Post: #7
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
I suppose this is less about the group and more about your own insecurities as a Beta male.
You think the women in the group view you as a "gay BFF" or unattractive male. And you don't want to hear their "girl talk" but prefer that they flirt
with you since you are the only guy in the charity.

The reality is that (1) this is a charity so its focus is on helping others and not being "alpha-jerks looking for hookups" (2) your standing in the group is mostly based on your efforts at leading the charity and being an alpha leader of the volunteering, whether its promoting the charity, doing fundraising, or helping the poor. (3) As a charity, your level of attraction is based on being a "nice guy who cares about other people" - this is like being a Church volunteer, you don't need to be an alpha to get women, they likely want to be around and trust men in the Church and want to marry these type of men. (4) if those women want to date alpha-players then they are meeting them at bars, and not at a charity. So if you want to be alpha, then go to bars and hit on women.

Lastly, there is nothing wrong with being a "gay BFF" because you will earn the trust and comfort of the women. If you want to date them and escape the friend-zone that is a risk. But you can do that by building sexual chemistry, offering massages, etc. Can you tell jokes and have interesting conversations that create an emotional connection with these women? It sounds like you may be inexperienced with women, so maybe you can try to date other women to biuuld up your confidence first.
07-12-2019 04:25 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #8
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
You need to change the story youre in.

Throughout history men have been drawn to stories about the hero. Myths , The legends, tales etc that compel masculine men are about heros. Heros that overcome adversity, defy the odds, conquer evil etc. Look no further than modern movies and you will see the same hero in a different skin: seemingly normal everymen that end up accomplishing the extraordinary. Neo in The Matrix, Luke Skywalker in Star Wars, King Arthur etc etc....the examples are almost endless. In every culture the myth of "the hero" is prevalent in the folklore. Even super heroes start out as ordinary men and through extraordinary circumstances are compelled to become great. These stories resonate with us because the hero could be us... with the required ingredients of course. We want to be the hero

For women however the stories that resonate are not myths but rather fairytales Classic tales like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Beauty And The Beast, Snow White etc have a common theme: the girl is not the hero but the one being rescued by him. Cinderella might be the central character in her story is not the hero. She is not vanquishing her evil step mother and step sisters but rather is being rescued from them by Prince Charming. They dont want to be the hero...they want the hero to want / choose them

The modern fairytale might look different but its themes are the same. One need only look at 50 Shades of Grey for example with this in mind to realize that its simply Cinderella's story with an R rated skin layered on. The 'heroine" of the story is waiting and hoping that the her "hero" (the billionaire, sexually dominant man) to save her from a life of bland mediocrity. Its no coincidence the crappy book sold millions of copies and a was turned into an equally crap movie...it's themes resonate with modern women

So what in holy hell does this have to do with OPs situation? Everything.

Women are attracted to the hero, the knight, the leader, the father, the teacher...all larger paternal figures. The sidekick never gets the girl

If you turn yourself into the the buddy the vassal, the assistant, the butler, they can NOT and will NOT remain attracted to you. By over exposing your self socially youre diminishing your perceived value and through accessibility youve made yourself "smaller"...the metaphorical sidekick

Find a way to be the group leader. Are you good at pool? Take them to play pool Are you knowledgable about art? Lead them on a museum excursion. Teach them something.

Find a way to position yourself as the authority figure in a situation. Be the hero of the story. This will change how they view you and you will end up attracting more than one of them

But you need to do this ASAP. The longer youre seen as a minor character in this story the harder it is to overcome that pidgeon hole

Caveat: You need advanced game to bang several of them and / or not piss any of them off

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 07-12-2019 05:35 PM by PapayaTapper.)
07-12-2019 05:16 PM
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sauron Offline
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Post: #9
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
The ideal case would be to date one of their friends. I guess what I’m asking is how can become more dominant around women. I want to be seen as the strong male who they can see as protector and someone they respect. Not the kind of guy that they’re around for months and barely remember the name. If I had one or two other guys I feel it would be easier for me to get in touch with my manliness in such situations.
07-22-2019 01:14 AM
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jcrew247 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
There are different ways of being attractive (without being dominant or masculine).
One way is to be seen as a leader.
This is done by being the best volunteer, pro-active
in helping others, showing initiative in creating new programs
and activities, being the first to show up, being the first to
help when asked, just displaying a lot of energy and enthusiasm
for the charity, raising a lot of money, being the best builder/cook.
By showing energy and being seen as good at something, then
women will see your increase in SOCIAL VALUE (SMV) and want
to date you because you have energy and are seen as capable of
taking care of yourself and knowing how to take care of a wife/GF
with compassion and caring. If you are helping out with kids/children
this will show you can be a good father and a compassionate person.

Attraction is also gained by being a sexual person. You don't have to
be alpha to be sexual. There are plenty of beta/creative artist, musician
types that weren't strong enough to play on the football team.
But wimpy guys like the Beattles and One Direction can get all
the women they want. So, you can learn an instrument, learn how
to be emotional with girls. You can escalate to sexual comfort,
but this is dangerous if you mess up and are then branded a creep.
So work on slow sexual escalation and flirting or being a friendly flirt.
Such as making jokes, creating lots of comfort.
07-22-2019 11:56 AM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #11
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
(07-22-2019 01:14 AM)sauron Wrote:  The ideal case would be to date one of their friends. I guess what I’m asking is how can become more dominant around women. I want to be seen as the strong male who they can see as protector and someone they respect. Not the kind of guy that they’re around for months and barely remember the name. If I had one or two other guys I feel it would be easier for me to get in touch with my manliness in such situations.



I answered this, made specific suggestions, and even explained the historical psychology behind it all

What part of my post did you not understand?

To be seen as the strong male you have to first put yourself in a position and act like one

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 07-25-2019 05:29 PM by PapayaTapper.)
07-25-2019 05:25 PM
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #12
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
I had a work experience like this. Deep undercover in the world of women. I would skip the gaming and soak up all the intel you can. The scales will fall from your eyes. This situation is a gift.

“The greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents.”

Carl Jung
07-26-2019 11:53 AM
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nixtnext Offline
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Post: #13
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
"How would Chad handle this situation?"

Chad wouldn't be there at all. He'd be having fun with his buddies. Sorry to be blunt. It's hard to be Chad in a group of 10 gossiping chicks unless they're all fawning over you and you have your way with them.
07-31-2019 03:40 PM
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sauron Offline
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Post: #14
RE: losing my invisibility cloak
(07-25-2019 05:25 PM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  
(07-22-2019 01:14 AM)sauron Wrote:  The ideal case would be to date one of their friends. I guess what I’m asking is how can become more dominant around women. I want to be seen as the strong male who they can see as protector and someone they respect. Not the kind of guy that they’re around for months and barely remember the name. If I had one or two other guys I feel it would be easier for me to get in touch with my manliness in such situations.



I answered this, made specific suggestions, and even explained the historical psychology behind it all

What part of my post did you not understand?

To be seen as the strong male you have to first put yourself in a position and act like one


Thanks for the great advice. That comment wasn't directed towards you. I just wanted to clarify the situation
08-05-2019 03:31 AM
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