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My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
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GreenGrow Offline
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Post: #1
My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
This is my first post, so before i start i would like to say thank you to all who contributed to this forum, as well as on ROK site - it won't be exaggeration if i say that your advices saved my life from being total disaster. I wish that one day i will be able to return the favor back.

I'm 25, and in LTR for ~5 years now. I feel that i need to decide now if i want to marry her, or not. This decision seems extremaly hard (one day i am ready to end, next day i am looking for apartment to buy for us). I have many reasons to make both choices, but problem is that she is really caring, sweet women and never crossed the line with her behavior, so at the end of the day i always justify our relationship...

... Until this weekend. She went to club with her female friend to dance (thats not problem, im doing same shit, and im okay with that). One of her friend is single and find a guy with whom she danced etc. Guy was with his friend, who, of course, end up talking with my GF. They left club togheter, and go to the beach to watch sunrise. Now - my gf promise she said she has boyfriend, and nothing, even dance happened, but still, went to the beach. Let's assume she is saying thruth and nothing happened between them (as this is what bothers me) - would it be too hasty to end it because of that situation? I feel totally disrespected. Like i said, i can't think clearly, so i would understand if thats obviousness for someone/everyone, but for me it's real struggle so my question is serious..
07-15-2019 11:19 AM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #2
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
There are 2 schools of thought here.

Part 1: if you marry this woman, you know up front she will hang out with her slutty friends who will constantly encourage her to do slutty things. You know this up front so you can't get surprised later if and when it happens. You dodged a bullet, end the relationship and tell her it is because you think she isn't really ready to be with you.

School of thought 2:
You have already done the hard work of finding a good woman who is not a slut and will potentially be a good wife and mother. Marry her and have kids with her with no regrets.

I think you have to go with option 1. Be warned, it is a very different dating game out there right now and you may struggle at first to adapt. Maybe not. If your girlfriend was happy with you, she would not be going to the beach at 5am to watch the sunrise with some random club dude. You should thank her for showing her true colors now and saved you a lot of time and anguish later.

If you stay with her you will constantly have in the back of her mind if you can ever truly trust this girl. She is already out window shopping for a new boyfriend(or maybe she already fucked him, you will never get an answer to that), don't tolerate her slutty behavior, end it now.

Team yoga pants
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...FO1O020uyw
07-15-2019 11:43 AM
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roberto Offline
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Post: #3
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
If she's never crossed the line with her behavior before, where exactly have you drawn the line in the past?

Sounds like a major red flag to me.

They who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety- Benjamin Franklin, as if you didn't know...
07-15-2019 12:03 PM
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Tex Offline
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Post: #4
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
End it.

PapayaTapper Wrote:you seem to have a penchant for sticking your dick in high drama retarded trash.
07-15-2019 12:10 PM
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LeveragedMan Offline
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Post: #5
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
If already questioning the relationship, and she did that.

I'd refer to option 1 that eradicator said.
(This post was last modified: 07-15-2019 06:20 PM by LeveragedMan.)
07-15-2019 06:17 PM
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Latan
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Post: #6
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
^ You will have an uphill battle if you have these kinds of arguments with her and she does not back down. She is arguing about something that she really should be willing to end entirely if she is married (going to clubs, sunrises on the beach etc.) If she is not willing to end her singles lifestyle, she will be difficult in marriage.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
07-15-2019 06:58 PM
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Baphomet Offline
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Post: #7
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
On the beach all alone with a guy in the romantic moonlight till sunrise...

Brother, if you seriously believe that she and this guy stayed up all night talking about virtue and piety, you are not using your brain. They spent the night together alone.

As a MAN, what would YOU be doing with a friendly girl on the beach all night? What do you think he did? I can tell you what he did not do. He did not leave that beach with full balls.

If you let this behavior pass I can promise you that she will slowly grow to despise you for your weakness. (If she doesn't already.) And this behavior WILL repeat until you are literally a full on cuckold.

I suggest you end this relationship.

The ending conversation should include something along the lines of:

"The fact that you spent that night alone with another man tells me very clearly that you have zero respect for me, and for our relationship. As a man, I am unwilling tolerate that. With your demonstration of that disrespect, our relationship is over. "

Disclaimer - I am pretty hard line on fidelity, so keep that in mind.
07-16-2019 10:01 AM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #8
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
Look at the bright side, maybe she only gave her club guy a blowjob or a handjob, that way she could say "hey we never actually had sex". OP if you are cool with that, then carry on.

Team yoga pants
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pla...FO1O020uyw
07-16-2019 10:16 AM
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Latan Offline
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Post: #9
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
OP, you already know the answer.
Just read your own post, as if a stranger was telling you his story.
07-16-2019 11:51 AM
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #10
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
OP

This relationship is in it's last legs. I get you still have this 5 years of attachment to this girl, so it's hard to pull away. The guys above me pretty much gave good responses.

My main point here is to tell you to get the thought of marriage out of your head. Period. Especially with this woman! She will repeat this act again.

There's no need to add an unnecessary liability on your deck that can crush you with a moments notice. Do not marry anyone.
07-16-2019 11:38 PM
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GreenGrow Offline
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Post: #11
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
Well, that was exactly what i needed to hear, so thank you. It will probably be hard, because, as pointed out by SilentOne my attachment to her is heavy, but there is no future for that relationship, so it is better to end it now. Wish me luck.
07-17-2019 01:10 AM
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Bienvenuto Offline
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Post: #12
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
(07-17-2019 01:10 AM)GreenGrow Wrote:  Well, that was exactly what i needed to hear, so thank you. It will probably be hard, because, as pointed out by SilentOne my attachment to her is heavy, but there is no future for that relationship, so it is better to end it now. Wish me luck.

Good luck buddy.
07-17-2019 02:25 AM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #13
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
OP

The good news is that you're 25. That means your future wife is about to start kindergarten in the fall

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
07-17-2019 10:54 AM
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fmman Offline
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Post: #14
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
(07-16-2019 10:01 AM)Baphomet Wrote:  On the beach all alone with a guy in the romantic moonlight till sunrise...

Brother, if you seriously believe that she and this guy stayed up all night talking about virtue and piety, you are not using your brain. They spent the night together alone.

As a MAN, what would YOU be doing with a friendly girl on the beach all night? What do you think he did? I can tell you what he did not do. He did not leave that beach with full balls.

He doesn't and you don't know this. I was out with the guys and met some girls, one of them shagged my mate, the other 2 had boyfriends back home, they were out all night but they didn't have sex with us. Don't get me wrong I would have done but they weren't interested. Truth is OP you have no idea what happened or what didn't apart from what she tells you
07-18-2019 08:34 PM
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rudebwoy Away
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Post: #15
RE: My judgement is not clear - i need wake up call
(07-17-2019 10:54 AM)PapayaTapper Wrote:  OP

The good news is that you're 25. That means your future wife is about to start kindergarten in the fall

Ohshit

Our New Blog:

http://www.repstylez.com
07-19-2019 05:35 PM
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