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Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
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jackgig Offline
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Post: #1
Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
I feel that a few years ago I had higher energy so a lot of my routine was solitary things. Now that I'm pretty burned out one of the few things that keeps me engaged is hanging out with people.

The problem with this is often these people are of low quality. For example compared to reading an audiobook that could better my life a lot of these people just have terrible belief systems, egos, negativity etc. But I can't help but succumb to hanging out.

Often higher quality people are busy and lower quality people are more available.

I guess to answer my own question to be able to just avoid these people I need to think of something that keeps me just as engaged and less energy intensive.

Perhaps = podcasts, audiobooks, just laying down, TRY to make better friends, hang out with plates.

Even though the girls that I get are quite quality I always find there's antagonist relationship with men and women. Even the sweetest women are constantly testing your strength so it's a less honourable relationship.

Perhaps a business partner? Or take more time to have conversations with people and book appointments with meeting with higher quality people. Since it's kind of a craving I end up hanging out with the lowest common denominator. Dig your well before you're thirsty.

Similar to nofap I find that if I go too long without ejaculating it's extremely hard to not want to wack off. Probably same with human interaction need to find my sweet spot. I think for me it's if I have sex less then 3x a week I have the compulsion to watch porn and jerk off. So perhaps find minimum effective dose of friendship time?

I was able to go years without really hanging out with guy friends though. I don't know why now it's such a craving.

I'd ideally only want people who are a positive to my life or nothing at all but this seems hard and I don't know why.
(This post was last modified: 07-22-2019 03:34 PM by jackgig.)
07-22-2019 03:33 PM
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scotian Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Find some buddies you can watch porn and jerk off with, get two birds stoned at once.

Don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.
07-22-2019 04:40 PM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Are you the kind of high quality person that other high quality people would be willing to sacrifice their valuable to time to be around?
07-22-2019 04:49 PM
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Dr. Howard Away
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Post: #4
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
(07-22-2019 04:40 PM)scotian Wrote:  Find some buddies you can watch porn and jerk off with, get two birds stoned at once.

aka join a Canadian Junior A hockey team.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
07-22-2019 05:57 PM
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Emperor Constantine Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
You need good friends, man. Like God said, it is not good for man to be alone.

Worthwhile things are usually hard. I went to great lengths to find good friends (sleep deprivation, lots of pushups, time away from civilization... thanks Uncle Sam!) and it worked out. Where there's a will there's a way.
07-22-2019 08:13 PM
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Poor quality friends can jam you up real quick. They will constantly make poor decisions and rarely take any responsibility for their actions. Misery loves company. I'd take solitude over being with them any day.

You just have to raise your value up so that the people you are interested in take notice. Learn multiple languages, workout and travel more. Tryout new activities and you will find making quality friends a bit more easier.
07-22-2019 10:11 PM
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Graft Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
It really depends on what you mean by "low quality." I've had dozens of friends in adulthood, the vast majority of them will snake you out as soon as there is money/pussy/status on the line.

At some point in my adult life, I realized that expecting some kind of WWII marine bro code of honor from friends was a fools errand. Friends are definitely not important for this kind of expectation. I also realized that if I ever want to shoot the shit in unfiltered conversation or ask for life advice without getting crucified, it's going to be with all you anons on the Roosh V forum.

Friends are super important in my experience for one thing: getting and keeping girls. It's so much easier to have a group of normies to mix in with your girlfriend/date once in a while to give you that social proof. It's so important to have a bunch of pictures with you hanging out with people, even if they are friends in name only. If a young hot girl ever finds out that you don't have friends, even if you have tons of value, you'll be left with your dick in your hands wondering why she's dating some broke 22 year old bartender who rolls 15 deep to a lounge in Hoboken.

I don't have normie friends for any other reason besides using them to hide the fact that I'm a loner weirdo who posts about 18 year old Serbian virgins on an alt-right forum Bananatard

I built this empire and I did it by myself. Nobody did it for me. Not Ivana, not Marla. Nobody! ~Donald Trump
07-22-2019 10:44 PM
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jackgig Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
(07-22-2019 10:44 PM)Graft Wrote:  It really depends on what you mean by "low quality." I've had dozens of friends in adulthood, the vast majority of them will snake you out as soon as there is money/pussy/status on the line.

At some point in my adult life, I realized that expecting some kind of WWII marine bro code of honor from friends was a fools errand. Friends are definitely not important for this kind of expectation. I also realized that if I ever want to shoot the shit in unfiltered conversation or ask for life advice without getting crucified, it's going to be with all you anons on the Roosh V forum.

Friends are super important in my experience for one thing: getting and keeping girls. It's so much easier to have a group of normies to mix in with your girlfriend/date once in a while to give you that social proof. It's so important to have a bunch of pictures with you hanging out with people, even if they are friends in name only. If a young hot girl ever finds out that you don't have friends, even if you have tons of value, you'll be left with your dick in your hands wondering why she's dating some broke 22 year old bartender who rolls 15 deep to a lounge in Hoboken.

I don't have normie friends for any other reason besides using them to hide the fact that I'm a loner weirdo who posts about 18 year old Serbian virgins on an alt-right forum Bananatard

yeah this is what I'm saying as well. I don't really need friends to get laid because I worked on my game for a long time. When I started getting the results I wanted I spent less time with guy friends. Now that I get women relatively easily though I find that female company isn't the best. There is definitely a level of positivity / unfiltered conversation I can have with good male friends that I can't with women.

The snake out thing seems real in a lot of ways.

I have some high level friends but they just seem like workaholics and think that when they get some magical goal their life will be complete instead of just striving but also enjoying the present a bit more. Seems like everyone is running to an imaginary finish line.
07-23-2019 12:55 AM
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Leads Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
I’m having the exact same situation. Living in a small town for a year and everyone is low quality (zero ambition, heavy smokers, constantly broke, never traveled, immature, etc). I’ve had to step back a bit after realizing it. I once lived in my car for a year and the loneliness eliminated any outside influence, making me pursue my goals harder. (paid off 3 credit cards, worked out more, etc). I recently heard Gary V talk about this in a podcast - gotta align with people at your level or higher.
07-23-2019 07:32 AM
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John Dodds Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
When you're with your friends, drink plenty of beer, after a bottle or two, you'll forget they're 'low quality'.
Bet to not allow women when you're hanging out with your pals, it avoids competition and virtue signalling.
(This post was last modified: 07-23-2019 08:37 AM by John Dodds.)
07-23-2019 08:35 AM
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Hombre de hielo Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Why are lower quality people often available? Everything has a reason!
07-23-2019 03:46 PM
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fokm Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
I had a couple of close friends for over a decade. After it was clear that they didn't treat me with respect (constant flaking, that sort of thing), I cut all ties. I'd rather have no friends outside of work than people like that.

A few years later, I am now around much higher quality people. If you spend your time on people who don't respect you, you will not have time to find those who do. Cut out lower quality people asap.
07-26-2019 10:08 AM
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scotian Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
I’ve had to cut some friends loose over the years, like legit criminals, meth heads, thieves, etc. But as far as having buddies to hang out with, I never have a shortage of dudes around and maybe it’s because I don’t have a laundry list of expectations like an entitled chick on Tinder. If a guy is into hiking, diving, fishing, guns, carpentry, the gym, etc then I’m down for hanging out. If a guy wants to sarge HB8s and run day game then I usually run for the hills although I’ll still sometimes meet up because weirdos fascinate me.

Don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.
07-26-2019 11:51 AM
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jackgig Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
(07-26-2019 11:51 AM)scotian Wrote:  I’ve had to cut some friends loose over the years, like legit criminals, meth heads, thieves, etc. But as far as having buddies to hang out with, I never have a shortage of dudes around and maybe it’s because I don’t have a laundry list of expectations like an entitled chick on Tinder. If a guy is into hiking, diving, fishing, guns, carpentry, the gym, etc then I’m down for hanging out. If a guy wants to sarge HB8s and run day game then I usually run for the hills although I’ll still sometimes meet up because weirdos fascinate me.

Kind of reminds me of the concept of compartmentalization. Talk business with the business folks, game with those with game. My problem is I'm a very holistic person so game / money / art / health is all linked up together so it's hard not to get into those conversations without bringing it up. My friends who are really into politics and have good red pill thoughts on it also have a lot of white knightery / blindspots when it comes to women.
07-26-2019 01:09 PM
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Post: #15
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
(07-26-2019 01:09 PM)jackgig Wrote:  
(07-26-2019 11:51 AM)scotian Wrote:  I’ve had to cut some friends loose over the years, like legit criminals, meth heads, thieves, etc. But as far as having buddies to hang out with, I never have a shortage of dudes around and maybe it’s because I don’t have a laundry list of expectations like an entitled chick on Tinder. If a guy is into hiking, diving, fishing, guns, carpentry, the gym, etc then I’m down for hanging out. If a guy wants to sarge HB8s and run day game then I usually run for the hills although I’ll still sometimes meet up because weirdos fascinate me.

Kind of reminds me of the concept of compartmentalization. Talk business with the business folks, game with those with game. My problem is I'm a very holistic person so game / money / art / health is all linked up together so it's hard not to get into those conversations without bringing it up. My friends who are really into politics and have good red pill thoughts on it also have a lot of white knightery / blindspots when it comes to women.

So your autistic?

Half kidding. Normal people dont make everything holistic like that for every conversation, sounds like you lack the most basic social skills.
(This post was last modified: 07-26-2019 03:48 PM by Repo.)
07-26-2019 03:39 PM
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jackgig Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
(07-26-2019 03:39 PM)Repo Wrote:  
(07-26-2019 01:09 PM)jackgig Wrote:  
(07-26-2019 11:51 AM)scotian Wrote:  I’ve had to cut some friends loose over the years, like legit criminals, meth heads, thieves, etc. But as far as having buddies to hang out with, I never have a shortage of dudes around and maybe it’s because I don’t have a laundry list of expectations like an entitled chick on Tinder. If a guy is into hiking, diving, fishing, guns, carpentry, the gym, etc then I’m down for hanging out. If a guy wants to sarge HB8s and run day game then I usually run for the hills although I’ll still sometimes meet up because weirdos fascinate me.

Kind of reminds me of the concept of compartmentalization. Talk business with the business folks, game with those with game. My problem is I'm a very holistic person so game / money / art / health is all linked up together so it's hard not to get into those conversations without bringing it up. My friends who are really into politics and have good red pill thoughts on it also have a lot of white knightery / blindspots when it comes to women.

So your autistic?

Half kidding. Normal people dont make everything holistic like that for every conversation, sounds like you lack the most basic social skills.

Not autistic. Wouldn't autism lend more to compartmentalization? I type as an INFJ myerrs briggs so I think it's just a common thing of the neurotype to view holistic patterns across realms. It does connect, I mean Roosh V has sub forums for a reason.
(This post was last modified: 07-26-2019 04:34 PM by jackgig.)
07-26-2019 04:33 PM
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thedonald Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Same situation exactly.

Friends despite starting off red pill seem to have the remarkable capacity of self rationalization for making poor decisions.

As we get older, its like everyone starts to give up at around 30...Like as if they accept this is their life forever, I can feel it too.

Only thing that's kept me going was books and podcasts to try and overcome that voice in my head telling me to give up and settle down.

Where does one find high quality friends apart from this forum of course.
08-12-2019 09:08 PM
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Vladimir Poontang Offline
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Post: #18
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
They say that you become like the top 5 or 6 people that you hang out with. If you don't personally know the kinds of people that you want to be like or be influenced by, podcasts/youtube/forums/books are very useful. I have lots of inspiring friends but they don't know it.

That's not how we do things in Russia, comrade.

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08-13-2019 02:59 AM
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Parlay44 Offline
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Post: #19
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Misery loves company. Poor quality friends will keep you from growing and evolving. They’ll keep you poor quality with their piss poor attitude and mentality. Last thing they want is for you to be successful because it highlights their laziness and inadequacies.

Who you choose to have around you tells you who you are.

Team Nachos
08-13-2019 06:36 AM
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perros Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Loneliness Vs. Poor Quality Friends
Its ok to be a loner every once in a while.
08-13-2019 08:20 AM
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