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22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
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jackthenerd Offline
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22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Recently found this, thought you guys would find it interesting: https://www.vox.com/science-and-health/2...loneliness

I looked a bit in the thread "I have no friends in my everyday life". A few of the comments are saying that it is a natural occurence of becoming an adult. Looking at the article though, the generations before us have more "friends". Maybe their definition of friends are different, or maybe people tend to have more friends early and late in their life, and less in the middle of their life. Or maybe this generation is just utterly f*cked.
08-06-2019 05:08 AM
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iThinkThereforeIam Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Smartphones gained wide acceptance in my mid 20s and they were a total game changer.

Before that parties were fairly relaxed and people were happy to talk to each other to make some new friends.

Now everybody is staring on their phone + combative feminism + most guys feeling like losers outside of tech because they can barely afford their own studio apartment while living hand to mouth.

The main reason to make friends was to help a brother out and gain some new perspectives.

Guys can barely help each other anymore into anything noteworthy and you can get most perspectives from youtubers these days.

Only in the 3rd world strong friendship building is very valued because they are the only ones that can help you get anywhere and have your back when you need assistance as there are pretty much zero safety nets of any kind.
08-06-2019 10:49 AM
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John Dodds Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
I had friends until I married (age 23).
Then my wife didn't let me have any friends, but I was allowed to mix with her friends husbands, until she divorced me age 52.
I've had friends since my divorce.
Re-married but don't let my new wife control me.

First thing a woman does in a LTR is try to break up all your pre-marriage friendships and replace them with her friends husbands.
Don't fall for it like i did.

@ITTI
Not found locals in the 3rd world (Asia) open to friendship.
Their friends are their blood relatives, nobody else.
(This post was last modified: 08-06-2019 06:44 PM by John Dodds.)
08-06-2019 06:41 PM
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nek Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Anytime I see people complaining about modern social isolation - and there are some merits to the complaint - I have to wonder what kind of a honest effort they're making to reach out and connect with people. Just my own view, but I see a lot of people essentially waiting for others to make the "first move", as if there is some ego investment in making sure they are the ones being reached out to vs. being the ones doing the reaching out. Make an effort, make plans. Good relationships, like anything good, takes effort and a dose of humility.

Civilize the mind but make savage the body.
08-07-2019 01:39 AM
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Obermarschall Online
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
(08-07-2019 01:39 AM)nek Wrote:  Anytime I see people complaining about modern social isolation - and there are some merits to the complaint - I have to wonder what kind of a honest effort they're making to reach out and connect with people. Just my own view, but I see a lot of people essentially waiting for others to make the "first move", as if there is some ego investment in making sure they are the ones being reached out to vs. being the ones doing the reaching out. Make an effort, make plans. Good relationships, like anything good, takes effort and a dose of humility.

The problem is even if you make the first move and try to connect with people, it just seems very superficial. When I was a teenager, I always tried to make a lot of friends or acquaintances, but except for drinking parties or whatnot, it remained very superficial. The older I grow the stronger I feel this superficiality.

Except for few friends I had since kindergarden and primary school, but they became bitchy for the fact that I was looking for jobs like crazy and working my ass off (I had no money, they had families with a lot of money) than spending time with them. They didn't understand my situation at all.

Paired with the fact that my country is very multicultural, so even on a basic level in terms of languages I can't connect already with 50% of the population. When I say hello in my native tongue, people will look and think like 'wtf dude'.

You might now say, 'ok join a club' I did that (language club, sports club, book club, you name it) and it was more like drinking in a bar than establishing friendships. No thanks, I can also sit alone in a bar and drink. At the end it is just too much work for what it's worth it and you can't trust anyone here in the West. You know people in the West don't have a genuine interest to know a person and if this genuine interest doesn't exist, you will have a lot of superficial, drinking friendships.
08-07-2019 02:24 AM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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Post: #6
RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
There are many reasons for this phenomenon, many of which have been discussed in recent threads. The general consensus is that the biggest contributing factor to the social incompetence of men is the dominance of digital culture. It usually goes like this:
Men spend more time behind their screens, and thus less time with their fellow men. This tends spiral quite quickly, and in combination with the many other ills of modern society, you end up with a majority who are more comfortable behind their screens than they are in the company of others.

Another important thing to note - which is not often discussed - is that high-quality men are hard to reach, which makes forming quality friendships with them rather difficult. As many on this forum can attest, men with their shit together will often be fully absorbed in their mission, and thus reluctant to forsake productive momentum to go and "hang out." Meeting and forming bonds with these types can be damn near impossible, unless you happen to be working in the same occupation, or are pursuing the same goals. That's assuming they're not flying solo, which they generally tend to do. It's possible the friendless men the article mentions have subconsciously picked up on the dearth of high-quality men, and have given up searching altogether.
(This post was last modified: 08-07-2019 09:16 AM by JiggyLordJr.)
08-07-2019 09:14 AM
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perros Offline
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Post: #7
RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Social media and iphones pretty much.

I feel like Google will be our god in 10 years. We use it for everything.
08-07-2019 09:23 AM
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thedonald Offline
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Post: #8
RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Apart from this forum of course, how do you guys find quality men to hang out with? I've seen things like 'show around' site, but I imagine that is not a real solution.
08-12-2019 08:55 PM
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iThinkThereforeIam Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
(08-12-2019 08:55 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Apart from this forum of course, how do you guys find quality men to hang out with? I've seen things like 'show around' site, but I imagine that is not a real solution.

What's a quality guy to you? Some guy working an average job that you consider introspective and trustworthy and maybe have shared interests with or someone with money and power?

Go to meetups, go to parties, go to industry events etc. and sooner or later you will probably vibe with someone very well.

Then you have to make sure that there is some balance in the relationship - a give and take rather than a one sided beta bucks type situation.

The older you get, the more commitments guys have, the bigger their circle of friends is, the harder it gets to make serious friends with guys your age because they're likely maxed out unless you bring something special to the table.

Mentoring younger fresh out of college guys can be more rewarding if you lack friends age 35+ and you can make money off this as well if you're a business minded guy.
08-13-2019 02:12 AM
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perros Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
(08-12-2019 08:55 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Apart from this forum of course, how do you guys find quality men to hang out with? I've seen things like 'show around' site, but I imagine that is not a real solution.

What I found is to join events, clubs, meetups, or get togethers from things that interest you and there you will find like-minded people and meet people.
08-13-2019 08:56 AM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Gyms are the easiest place to find friends. Cigar lounges are another easy place to find friends. Gun shops can be easy if you have 0 knowledge of guns or a lot of knowledge. Book stores also work.
08-13-2019 10:27 AM
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scotian Offline
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Post: #12
RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
Find a local shooting range or fishing club, makes friends and learn some useful skills.

Don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.
08-13-2019 10:07 PM
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N°6 Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
(08-13-2019 10:27 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Gyms are the easiest place to find friends. Cigar lounges are another easy place to find friends. Gun shops can be easy if you have 0 knowledge of guns or a lot of knowledge. Book stores also work.

What type of gym do you do to? Gyms must be one of the most anti-social places I know of.

I got into more friendly conversations with men and women in CrossFit in one week than I did in five years of a commercial chain-gym.
08-14-2019 01:25 AM
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Post: #14
RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
A great quote I heard once was "Women make friends face to face, Men make friends shoulder to shoulder". That is to say, women bond with friends through conversation and smart phones, men bond with men by working on things together.

As a man, if you just go out and find something to do you will make friends. Scotian's hunting/fishing example is great, volunteering for work projects through church is great, casual sports leagues are great, even extreme nerd hobbies like tabletop games at your local comic book shop are pretty good. For me, I've found it takes about 6 months for new men you work along side with to 'vet' you to see if you are trustworthy or crazy. You have to be consistent, like be part of a sports league for 2 seasons etc.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
08-14-2019 03:24 AM
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brianmark Offline
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RE: 22 percent of millennials say they have “no friends”
This used to be an older guy thing, mainly 40+ guys. Guys in the west are very competitive and if they get married their wives control them. They wrote a book about it "Bowling Alone." It now is becoming a young guys thing too. It's very sad, that people believe friends on social media are real friends. People should force themselves to get out. I do.

08-14-2019 04:12 AM
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