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I caught oneitis for a slut
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The King Offline
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I caught oneitis for a slut
Hey guys, no clickbait titles here.

I'll keep this brief. I've caught feelings for a girl I'm 99% sure is a promiscuous slut, and I don't like it.

Background: I met up with a Tinder girl around 2 months ago. Met her in a bar and banged in her place afterwards. Kept seeing this girl every few days which is still ongoing. I like her looks and the sex is great. The girl also buys me food and cooks for me...etc.

The thing that bothers me is the foreign cocks that have been inside all her holes before she even knew me. It bothers me because I know that it's in the past and I'm powerless to change it. I like the girl but I don't like what she's done.

The girl claims that I'm her 7th lay, however the way she describes her past makes it seem like she's had many more. "I've had 4 boyfriends" and "I usually prefer fuck buddies". Doesn't seem like you can fit all of that into 6 notches before me. I still think Roosh's maths of multiplying the girls years living alone x3 is sound for estimating notch count.

The girl has 2 small tattoos on her arm, had a year long history of recreational drug use and obviously gave up the pussy on the first night. She also admits that she's very sexual/thought she was addicted to sex before. I didn't give a crap about this at the time, because she was just another one of my field reports (we have a group chat where we post them up). Now that I've been seeing her over 2 months I've become attached.

The girl hasn't done anything to make me suspicious since we've met. Her phone is open and clearly visible when I'm next to her, and the content looks pretty tame and not filled with cocks. She treats me very well and with absolute respect. She will automatically say sorry if she acts out of line which I like.

I'm not afraid of the girl cheating. I'm not afraid of the people she's been involved with (I've seen pictures and they look like innocent beta boys). I'm a good looking guy who racked up more notches than her or any guy she's spoken to, I have no doubt about that.

No self respecting man wants to be involved with a slut. What I'm afraid of is falling for a girl who I thought was normal, and then realizing that she's promiscuous. I don't want to be romantically involved with someone who was just another lay for other people. I find it disgusting.

My limit until this point was 5+ notches = not relationship material, regardless of the circumstances. The girl I'm talking about has at the minimum 7 notches.

Guys, did I fall for a slut? If so what should I do or how do I fix this?

I have been seeing other people at the same time but it's made no difference. All I want is a normal girl with a low notch count who's not sexually damaged.
08-20-2019 04:26 AM
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The King Offline
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Post: #2
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
Admins:

I don't think this post breaks any of the new rules, but if so then I apologise. I am not promoting a casual sex lifestyle for men or women.

All I want is clarity and direction from somebody who knows how bad this feels. Please just allow me to have that.
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 04:30 AM by The King.)
08-20-2019 04:29 AM
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Borges Offline
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
She's ridden the carousel for longer than you're comfortable with. You know it's not a good idea to date her. You know you shouldn't fall for her. You're self aware - you recognise this as 'oneitis'. You probably have a gut feeling telling you to be careful. You know you can't turn a hoe into a housewife.

It's weird to put it like this, but part of being a man is just plain repressing your feelings. There's no magic fix for this kind of situation. If you don't think she's girlfriend material, what else can you do? Accept your feelings for her, accept the fact they're at odds with what your brain tells you to do, keep them at bay, and move on.
08-20-2019 05:05 AM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 04:26 AM)The King Wrote:  I'm not afraid of the girl cheating. I'm not afraid of the people she's been involved with (I've seen pictures and they look like innocent beta boys). I'm a good looking guy who racked up more notches than her or any guy she's spoken to, I have no doubt about that.

No self respecting man wants to be involved with a slut. What I'm afraid of is falling for a girl who I thought was normal, and then realizing that she's promiscuous. I don't want to be romantically involved with someone who was just another lay for other people. I find it disgusting.

My limit until this point was 5+ notches = not relationship material, regardless of the circumstances. The girl I'm talking about has at the minimum 7 notches.

Guys, did I fall for a slut? If so what should I do or how do I fix this?

I have been seeing other people at the same time but it's made no difference. All I want is a normal girl with a low notch count who's not sexually damaged.

What makes you think you're not sexually damaged yourself and would be a viable and healthy option for a low or zero notch girl?

Think about it: Who do develop feelings for and why? Do you believe that happened by coincidence?
08-20-2019 05:43 AM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
If she checks all those boxes, maybe take a few more weeks and see how it goes. Just watch for other red flags. You may need to accept her past if you want a future with her. That is not weak IMO.

**Edit** You are still the man and need to lead her, no more talk about lays, bangs and notches. It's not now, it's in the past. You shouldn't care, because as you say, you know you are better then those betas she was with before.

I know most here will disagree with me, but the hypocrisy of some on this board annoys the hell out of me.

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(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 06:12 AM by ChefAllDay.)
08-20-2019 06:08 AM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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Post: #6
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
Equanimity.

She doesn't belong to you, it just happens to be your turn right now.

I falled for a girl like that, that cooked nice meals for me and was sweet but my gut feeling screamed danger because I knew she had been with far more promiscious than I was comfortable with. I knew she was never going to become my wife so I had to repress the feelings and remind myself that it wasn't going to last. Eventually she had a mental breakdown one day and I went from hero to zero in a matter of hours for a minor argument and I haven't talked with her since.

So be prepared for that. A woman who have been with so many men don't have the same ability to bond and have an inability to see a long term relationship as a commitment and could and would drop you for the smallest of things. It will never last in the long run even if you yourself could become comfortable with the idea that your woman have had many other men's sperm in her face.

So either you decide that you're going to take a stoic approach and just make the most of it why it lasts and then move on and never look back or you decide to not waste time on her and try to find a more quality woman with more respect for herself.
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 06:28 AM by No More Mr. Soy Boy.)
08-20-2019 06:26 AM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 06:08 AM)ChefAllDay Wrote:  I know most here will disagree with me, but the hypocrisy of some on this board annoys the hell out of me.

The ability to bond goes two ways.

I'm convinced the girls you fall for represent your own inner game. I had a similar problem in my youth. It took me over a decade in solitude to heal. And it worked, as my targets changed entirely.
08-20-2019 06:40 AM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 06:08 AM)ChefAllDay Wrote:  If she checks all those boxes, maybe take a few more weeks and see how it goes. Just watch for other red flags. You may need to accept her past if you want a future with her. That is not weak IMO.

How many more red flags do we need?
She slept with him on the first date and she has been with many more men than him. That's not a sign of a high quality woman, rather the exact opposite.

According to statistics and the science we've seen her on the forum, it's a very very very bad idea to try and make a wife from a woman that have been with even just 3 men. And it gets worse the higher the notch is for women while the same don't apply for men.

To advice OP to have anything serious with this woman would be as rational as telling him to sell everything he owns and pick a number on the roulette wheel.

So I don't agree. I believe it is weak for a man to just get caught up in feelings when basically everything tells him it's a bad idea; statistics, gut feeling, rationality, self-respect. Strength is to have equanimity, an unshakable balance of mind which is rooted in the insights of how bad promiscious women are for long term relationships.
08-20-2019 06:46 AM
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sterlingarcher Offline
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Post: #9
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
10/10 for thread title
08-20-2019 07:13 AM
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wi30 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 06:46 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  
(08-20-2019 06:08 AM)ChefAllDay Wrote:  If she checks all those boxes, maybe take a few more weeks and see how it goes. Just watch for other red flags. You may need to accept her past if you want a future with her. That is not weak IMO.

How many more red flags do we need?
She slept with him on the first date and she has been with many more men than him. That's not a sign of a high quality woman, rather the exact opposite.

According to statistics and the science we've seen her on the forum, it's a very very very bad idea to try and make a wife from a woman that have been with even just 3 men. And it gets worse the higher the notch is for women while the same don't apply for men.

To advice OP to have anything serious with this woman would be as rational as telling him to sell everything he owns and pick a number on the roulette wheel.

So I don't agree. I believe it is weak for a man to just get caught up in feelings when basically everything tells him it's a bad idea; statistics, gut feeling, rationality, self-respect. Strength is to have equanimity, an unshakable balance of mind which is rooted in the insights of how bad promiscious women are for long term relationships.

I sure hope so...
08-20-2019 07:14 AM
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The King Offline
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Post: #11
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
Just to clear things up; I've been with more people than her no doubt, but no matter how many notches I have it doesn't 'undo' any of hers.

7 cocks at age 21 just screams slut to me. Can someone confirm to me that 7 cocks at that age is actually promiscuous or am I just exaggerating here.

Regardless of what my decision is, I'm gonna keep banging the girl. However if there's no hope for romance then I'll downgrade her to fuck-buddy status and move on
08-20-2019 07:24 AM
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John Dodds Offline
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Post: #12
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
Nothing wrong with sluts, and generally far more fun than young Christian virgins.
I've had LTRs with both, sluts win every time.
Most women start having sex between age 12 and 14.
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 08:22 AM by John Dodds.)
08-20-2019 07:54 AM
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Luke Stranahan Offline
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Post: #13
RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
So, a few years ago, I hooked up with a chick on E harmony. She told me she had been with 35 dudes, and she had been living alone for ~12 years, so it fits. I was shocked. I realize now it was probably 135.
08-20-2019 08:00 AM
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FullThrottleTX Offline
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 04:26 AM)The King Wrote:  I have been seeing other people at the same time but it's made no difference. All I want is a normal girl with a low notch count who's not sexually damaged.

I think your notch count or the quality of those notches is too low. You're obsessing over a 21 year old chick you had relations with on Tinder on the first date... The red flag isn't her notch count (which is low in my opinion for a Tinder girl), but the fact she is talking about it having not known you well - which is not respectful. What the hell makes you into a chick that talks about her past flings? Enjoy her body and move on.

For any girl I date, I don't want to know her sexual history. If I do, that's bad. Being obsessed with a girl's notch count is bad game. You have to expect if you met and had sex on the first date she's not virginal. Honestly, even considering this anything but casual is crazy.
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 08:46 AM by FullThrottleTX.)
08-20-2019 08:39 AM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 04:26 AM)The King Wrote:  I'm a good looking guy who racked up more notches than her or any guy she's spoken to, I have no doubt about that.

I don't care how a good looking of a guy you are, stop assuming this. You may be right about the latter, but not the former. Girls are made to get plowed with no effort. All she has to do is breathe and lie down on her back.

In the age of sexual liberation, miniscule relationships, and being on a dating app; she is without a doubt in my mind having a notch count in the 100s.

You must be able to accept that to still be with her. She is not in the single digits. Just assume any single girl living alone on those apps that their notches are in the 100s and you won't be shocked anymore.
08-20-2019 08:47 AM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 07:24 AM)The King Wrote:  Just to clear things up; I've been with more people than her no doubt, but no matter how many notches I have it doesn't 'undo' any of hers.

7 cocks at age 21 just screams slut to me. Can someone confirm to me that 7 cocks at that age is actually promiscuous or am I just exaggerating here.

Regardless of what my decision is, I'm gonna keep banging the girl. However if there's no hope for romance then I'll downgrade her to fuck-buddy status and move on

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(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 11:38 AM by PapayaTapper.)
08-20-2019 11:11 AM
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NoMoreTO Offline
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
This feeling isn't really going to go away. Facts are facts. There maybe are men who have brainwashed themselves to not care about notch count. That doesn't seem to be you, it's not me.

Take a lot less number in Any sort of number that you were given vs. actions such as (1) going home with you the first night (2) being on tinder (3) fuck buddy comment.

Yes, a slutty girl often has no manners, can't cook, and a vapid personality. Still there are slutty women who have these traits, I had an Ex like this, and I dumped her because in the end I knew she was a slut. After the dust settled, plus some things that happened after the fact, it was easier to see the facts.

It sucks to find a girl who checks the good boxes, but the promiscuity checkbox is a big red flag.

“Where the danger is, so grows the saving element.” ~ German poet Hoelderlin
08-20-2019 03:12 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
08-20-2019 03:30 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
As the other guys are saying, basically, trust your gut. Make sure it's your own feeling based on your observations directly though (not just blindly adopting "the forum" perspectives without understanding the reasoning behind them).

However, along with telling you what you want to hear in regards to "low notch count"... girls are also going to tell you what they think you want to hear about other things (like the fuck buddies comment could be her perception of what she thinks you want to hear, for example). As Papayatrapper's comment shows more eloquently, your vibe at least in writing comes across a little oblivious in the wannabe player way.

But for a westernized 21yo, 7 notches, if she is being honest, is low. The recent change of this forum seems to have sent a lot of you guys hunting for mythical virgin (or low notch count) girls. Any girl with the less than 3 notch count you guys are apparently setting as a bar for "relationship material" is, in the west, going to be either socially under-developed/shy, low self confidence/fat, or strong family values/religious. There are no exceptions, and religion is far from a sure fire indicator on it's own.

I think you are going about it the wrong way. NO POINT in asking any girl directly things like how many people she has slept with. Now if it came up indirectly, there is a better chance she might be telling the truth.

If you're considering her as serious relationship material I think if you need to figure out other ways to test her "morality"/values & truly get to know her: pay close attention to how she treats other people, friends, family, & strangers. If you're considering a relationship, look at how she follows your lead. Look at her level of investment.

Tinder/slept with you on first night is of course a red flag, but from the info you've given us I think there is some possibility she is relatively inexperienced and just telling you what she thinks you want to hear (ex fuck buddies comment). There is the small chance that your connection was strong and she is just really into you, and that's why she slept with you right away (example: you're just her type). I don't know much about healthy relationships developing from tinder these days, but the odds are stacked against it.
08-20-2019 05:26 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 04:26 AM)The King Wrote:  My limit until this point was 5+ notches = not relationship material, regardless of the circumstances. The girl I'm talking about has at the minimum 7 notches.

Guys, did I fall for a slut? If so what should I do or how do I fix this?

She's into party favors. She's tatted. She's on Tinder.

Run the Numbers.

7 x 3 = 21.

That's a pretty good body count, but who cares if you enjoy her company and you're not settling down with her.

If this sort of thing bothers you just know she's built for speed, not distance.
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 05:58 PM by arafat scarf.)
08-20-2019 05:48 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
I am dealing with the same issue, recently mentioned in Players log. The same age, but even higher notch count (7 isn't that bad).
But it's interesting to see the same situation happening to someone else than me. What would I say? Just get the most out of it and expect nothing. Go with the flow.

I understand that having oneitis for such girls sucks and the only solution could be quiting it and never seeing her again. Is that solution? No. If it was, then you can go to forests and live alone until the end of life. If this girl isn't gonna screw you up, it will be another. Is there a man who isn't facing this reality? I doubt. Be glad you belong to that low percents of men, who have options.

I guess I should follow the same.
08-20-2019 06:16 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
If you guys really think the average girl body counts are in the single digits in this era, you are delusional.

The easy access of dating apps has skyrocketed there numbers. That's why serious LTRs are getting harder now. By the time shes out of college at the age of 22, her count are in the 20s and that's being generous. They aren't sweet angels like you were told. Why do you think they are tired of having there fun and now want something serious Laugh
08-20-2019 06:48 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 06:48 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  If you guys really think the average girl body counts are in the single digits in this era, you are delusional.

The easy access of dating apps has skyrocketed there numbers. That's why serious LTRs are getting harder now. By the time shes out of college at the age of 22, her count are in the 20s and that's being generous. They aren't sweet angels like you were told. Why do you think they are tired of having there fun and now want something serious Laugh
I'm not going to quarrel with you. I'm old and the landscape has changed drastically. Even when things got wild in the 70s gals with double digit notches were maybe not rare but hardly common. I don't know what you young guys are going to do. The options seem to get narrower with each advancement in narcissistic technology. The problem is worldwide it seems.
08-20-2019 06:57 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
(08-20-2019 06:48 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  If you guys really think the average girl body counts are in the single digits in this era, you are delusional.

The easy access of dating apps has skyrocketed there numbers. That's why serious LTRs are getting harder now. By the time shes out of college at the age of 22, her count are in the 20s and that's being generous. They aren't sweet angels like you were told. Why do you think they are tired of having there fun and now want something serious Laugh

I assume that basically when a girl is online dating (esp with the swipe apps), she's probably fucking a lot of dudes. I also assume she's going to be flaky in general.

I am pretty much done with online dating. I feel like a girl who is out of the house, at some kind of event/bar and doing something other than Netflix and chill is a better prospect anyway. Anyway, this is a better story to tell than "met on Tinder" anyway...
(This post was last modified: 08-20-2019 07:17 PM by FullThrottleTX.)
08-20-2019 07:16 PM
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RE: I caught oneitis for a slut
“She said she only fucked with 4 or 5 niggas, that means you always gotta multiply by 3” - J Cole
08-20-2019 07:20 PM
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