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Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
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Barron Offline
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Post: #1
Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
I just realized that any time I ever let a friend or family member pass my info to a girl they knew that they thought would be a good match for me, she has never been hot.

I'm wondering if anyone can corroborate this or if anyone has ever been hooked up with a girl they thought was beautiful through friends or family?

It has never happened in my experience and there's gotta be a reason why.
I stopped allowing friends/family to introduce me to any single girls years ago. For someone reason I was reminded of this recurrence and figured all these people most likely see me as a desperate beta and I'll take whatever I can get?

I even remember getting annoyed at my cousin for thinking I'd go anywhere near her fat ass friend. Weird times

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08-23-2019 03:47 AM
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tomzestatlu Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
I actually ask my friends to hook me up with hot girls they know, because my natural social circle lacks girls. Actually these were only two in my lifetime, but one ended as two year LTR (actually fiancee lol) and another was good LTR material too.
I am just going to meet super hot blonde, friend from my friend´s wife.

But I would never let my family initialize this.
(This post was last modified: 08-23-2019 04:37 AM by tomzestatlu.)
08-23-2019 04:36 AM
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The Catalyst Online
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Post: #3
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
I know British and Aussies tend not to realise normal people care about attractiveness...
08-23-2019 04:59 AM
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RougeNoir Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
You must train your family and friends how to treat you. Look them in the eyes sternly and whisper, "no fatties and no uglies. Got it? Good." If they resist, make them pay.
08-23-2019 07:51 AM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
If these are women doing the setting up, you have to take into account that women rate other women's appearance on how they feel about them personally. That is, a guy can recognize that a girl is a total bitch but still pretty hot physically. Women don't really have that ability and will think another girl is "cute" if they find her generally sweet and non-threatening, even if she has an ugly face, bad hair, is fat, or even all three.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
08-23-2019 08:40 AM
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Spectrumwalker Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
Because misery loves company.

Dreams are like horses; they run wild on the earth. Catch one and ride it. Throw a leg over and ride it for all its worth.
Psalm 25:7
https://youtu.be/vHVoMCH10Wk
08-23-2019 09:20 AM
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Chetthebaker Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
The sad truth is that barring shear luck ie a girl who just got out of a relationship, the girl on the other side of this deal probably has a reason she’s in a position where she’s being set up. Chances are she’s either not that attractive or just crazy.

Combine that with the relatively new phenomenon of any average girl being able to get unlimited attention through social media, and you can see how there’s just very few girls to be set up with in such a natural organic way anymore.

It might have been Roissy or someone else on this forum that said something like the following; that cute niece of your parents neighbor that’s just moved to town who you would’ve been set up with back in the day...well...that girl is now juggling 10 guys/has 300 tinder matches/thousands of IG followers/orbiters.

Still, despite all this, there are plenty of women out there. Not many relationship worthy, but passably attractive. There’s girls who are loners, ones who are new in town, ones that are just not that into social media and just into going out and doing stuff. Some of these girls are kinda cool.

Go find them.
08-23-2019 09:47 AM
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Zenta Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
This happens often to a viet restaurant I goto. Been going there 10+ years and all the ladies there know I like Vn and vn ladies. Every once in a while they try to hook me up with a "cute" or "beautiful" niece/friend/cousin etc and they will pull up zalo and show me a 4 and I have to keep face and just smile alot and tell them how I'll think about wow thanks.

As chetthebaker says theres always a reason. In my case in the viet restaurant I feel they are just trying to get their family over here with a man who they assume is decent. Can't blame them for shooting their shots.
08-23-2019 11:20 AM
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Arado Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
Another thing I noticed is they will try to make you feel guilty for wanting to date someone at least a few years younger or imply that you are superficial for wanting someone who isn't overweight.
08-23-2019 05:41 PM
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Rush87 Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
In all honesty, they probably view those girls at your level. You introduce them to more attractive girls you're dating and that probably stops happening.
(This post was last modified: 08-23-2019 05:44 PM by Rush87.)
08-23-2019 05:43 PM
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NoMoreTO Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
(08-23-2019 07:51 AM)RougeNoir Wrote:  You must train your family and friends how to treat you. Look them in the eyes sternly and whisper, "no fatties and no uglies. Got it? Good." If they resist, make them pay.

^^ Agree strongly with the above comment.

Also, consider whether they are setting YOU up or setting their FRIEND up. For instance, if a buddy sets me up I know he is looking out for me, maybe one of his girlfriends' friends' is attractive and single so he is on the lookout. BUT if my buddies girlfriend sets me up, she might be doing the opposite. Ideally they actually believe its a good match, but they have to know you and what you like.

“Where the danger is, so grows the saving element.” ~ German poet Hoelderlin
08-23-2019 05:46 PM
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Rorogue Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
My uncle is 47 now and still single- dated dozens and dozens of good looking women in the last 25 years.

My Indian family have been trying to get him an arranged marriage for 20 years.

One time, my mother (his older sister), showed him a picture of an Indian dentist.

Uncle: "I don't like her"
Mum: "No, No, I think she's very beautiful"
Uncle: "Then you eat her pussy".

My mum never introduced him to a girl again.
(This post was last modified: 08-23-2019 05:54 PM by Rorogue.)
08-23-2019 05:51 PM
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Rocha Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
I learned long ago to count just with me to get some hug closes.

Have you guys ever seen an advertisement about Swiss cheese, french wine or russian caviar?

And you know why you have not?

Because they all are good and sell by themselves.

"Поехали!!" (Yuri Gagarin, 1961)

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(This post was last modified: 08-23-2019 07:23 PM by Rocha.)
08-23-2019 07:16 PM
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pk9090 Offline
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Post: #14
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
(08-23-2019 07:16 PM)Rocha Wrote:  I learned long ago to count just with me to get some hug closes.

Have you guys ever seen an advertisement about Swiss cheese, french wine or russian caviar?

And you know why you have not?

Because they all are good and sell by themselves.

Ahahaha good one Rocha.

My mother actually had a chance to introduce me to the daughter of her hairdresser who was at the 11th or 12th grade at same time than me. This girl was absolutely beautiful and was modelling part time at that moment. My mother didn't do it because she didn't like the daughter. I could have lost the V card to this top girl at 16 or something instead of some years later. Instead my mother tried to set me up with this fat girl that I obviously didn't like.

Also had one of my uni friends trying to set me up with this ugly girls that were studying with his girlfriend at the time, after that day told him "I would never tried to set my friends with ugly girls!", he never tried to set me up again.

Finally, I also remember this time were one girl was asking for me to a friend and he cockblocked me from her. Girl was a legit 10, still is I believe. He tried after to set me up with this ugly girl, which I obviously didn't like.

Looking back on my life I did have a lot of good opportunities but lacked the luck to enjoy them.
08-23-2019 09:43 PM
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Hombre de hielo Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
Only feature attractive women when they know that the guy will be rejected! Humans are like this!
08-23-2019 11:18 PM
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TooFineAPoint Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
(08-23-2019 05:46 PM)NoMoreTO Wrote:  
(08-23-2019 07:51 AM)RougeNoir Wrote:  You must train your family and friends how to treat you. Look them in the eyes sternly and whisper, "no fatties and no uglies. Got it? Good." If they resist, make them pay.

^^ Agree strongly with the above comment.

Also, consider whether they are setting YOU up or setting their FRIEND up. For instance, if a buddy sets me up I know he is looking out for me, maybe one of his girlfriends' friends' is attractive and single so he is on the lookout. BUT if my buddies girlfriend sets me up, she might be doing the opposite. Ideally they actually believe its a good match, but they have to know you and what you like.

This distinction is important.

Back when I was much younger and perpetually single (and also a total moron with women), I noticed this:

- family would set me up with people above my pay grade
- male friends would set me up with girls who were passable but easy (thanks guys!)
- girlfriends of male friends would set me up with the most disgusting and insufferable females possible (my true market value at the time)
08-24-2019 02:29 AM
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Arcite Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
(08-23-2019 05:46 PM)NoMoreTO Wrote:  Also, consider whether they are setting YOU up or setting their FRIEND up. For instance, if a buddy sets me up I know he is looking out for me, maybe one of his girlfriends' friends' is attractive and single so he is on the lookout. BUT if my buddies girlfriend sets me up, she might be doing the opposite. Ideally they actually believe its a good match, but they have to know you and what you like.
I came in here to say the same thing. 9 times out of 10, when a girl tries to set you up, she's not trying to help you, she's trying to help the girl.
08-24-2019 10:48 AM
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Dr. Ron Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
It depends on who your friends and family are. If they're narcissistic in nature it's more likely they would set you up with a "suitable" low tier woman rather than someone who is very attractive, because if you were to date an attractive woman that might damage their ego in some way.

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.
08-24-2019 12:13 PM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
(08-23-2019 08:40 AM)bucky Wrote:  If these are women doing the setting up, you have to take into account that women rate other women's appearance on how they feel about them personally. That is, a guy can recognize that a girl is a total bitch but still pretty hot physically. Women don't really have that ability and will think another girl is "cute" if they find her generally sweet and non-threatening, even if she has an ugly face, bad hair, is fat, or even all three.

Not sure why this got upvoted so heavily. You should be glad that a woman is filtering out the "girl who is a total bitch" - your friend basically filtered out a low-quality girl on your behalf. So what if she's physically attractive? Keeping unpleasant company is a fast track to lowering your quality-of-life. Remember, women are an addition to your life; if they're not pleasant and feminine they immediately get the boot. The lay is secondary, as I assume you are a man of abundance.

I get concerned when I see guys pursuing girls who are hot but have a shit personality. Really shows how low standards have fallen.
(This post was last modified: 08-25-2019 12:48 AM by JiggyLordJr.)
08-25-2019 12:45 AM
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Caux Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
Cause you're ugly
08-25-2019 12:46 AM
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nixtnext Offline
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Post: #21
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
Same experience as OP. I figure a girl friend would want to do a favor to her friend, not you, so who knows what you get. The only exception was an older male relative who approached the thing like a guy would naturally think and connected me with a goodlooking chick.
08-26-2019 12:11 PM
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Kilgo Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
Back home for the summer after my freshman year of college, the girlfriend (and now wife) of a good friend of mine from high school hooked me up with one of her friends. This was before the days of smart phones being commonplace, let alone cell phones in general, so I went in somewhat blind on it.

But it turned out the girl I got hooked up with was very attractive and there was a spark. We went out a few times, messed around, but we both had different colleges in different states to get back to and that was it.

Fun while it lasted. But a definite anomaly as far as the "let me hook you up with this girl..." setup.

Especially as I've gotten older through the years, the SMV dynamics shifted my way as they do for nearly every man. They're not trying to help me; I became the prize. Instead, they're trying to help the girl out.
08-26-2019 12:23 PM
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SlickyBoy Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
As another comment intimated, if she were that attractive, she wouldn't need setting up. Any girl who needs family to help her out probably doesn't have the appearance to take full advantage of social media avenues.

Rational Male put out a chart a while back showing the graph of how couples first met (church, family, club, social media, etc.) the trend is skewed madly over the past.

Here is an active graph showing the same trends, by decade. Notice the rise of college in the 1970s (coed dorms), then coworkers into the 80s (more women working), and the severe jump from 1990s through 2010s of online, which likely includes social media.

It is what it is; react accordingly.

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08-26-2019 12:50 PM
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Kid Twist Offline
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RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
(08-23-2019 09:47 AM)Chetthebaker Wrote:  The sad truth is that barring shear luck ie a girl who just got out of a relationship, the girl on the other side of this deal probably has a reason she’s in a position where she’s being set up. Chances are she’s either not that attractive or just crazy.

Good post. As Chet says, the only way is via the lotto of branch swinging/stone jumping/etc where you just flat out lucky that a girl who is good looking has just lost her relationship. What's worse here is that in the west these also tend to be mid 30s girls, lol (that just happened to me, and it was only because the girl in question wanted to be her friend/do couples dates more than actually do something for me or her).

Yes, 95% of women don't look at women like you do, so they generally give you average to below average setups.

The rest, we've been over. Women worked there way out of being valuable partners, as they can just "do it on their own". Oh yeah, people forgot to tell them that biologically they always want someone better than them.

Add a dash of in the west men not being [appropriately] valued, and there you go.

See below. Idea

Get your passport ready!
(This post was last modified: 09-07-2019 10:23 PM by Kid Twist.)
09-07-2019 10:22 PM
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melikey Offline
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Post: #25
RE: Why do friends/family always hook me up with ugly girls
The older the get and the more I tried this I realised that it's just how it is. Like you are not getting high quality girls from friends or family setting you up.

Exactly why would a girl need someone to set her up? Assuming a girl is attractive she has litterally hundreds of guys lining up in her social circle, work, instagram and dating apps. Something is going to be wrong with her the majority of times, I do understand that there is some outliers. But I dont think this is a game worth playing, it's just wasting you and your friends/family time.

The sayin "Nothing worth having comes easy" fits very well for this situation.
09-09-2019 05:24 AM
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