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How can I know why a girl rejects me?
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Dart Offline
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Post: #1
How can I know why a girl rejects me?
A girl can reject a guy for a variety of reasons. There could be a hundred possible reasons for a girl to reject a guy. Sometimes she'll reject a guy for one big reason, sometimes for several reasons together. Hypothetically, if I knew exactly why I was rejected by any girl I was interested in, then that knowledge could be so powerful. I would know exactly what I need to change in order to do better with that type of girl in the future. However, girls don't give me any feedback when they reject me. It's a mystery. I have no clue why I was rejected. How can I get some clues and understand why a girl rejects me?
08-26-2019 05:17 AM
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kinjutsu Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
If you take care of the major obvious things like personal hygiene, fat/fitness, clothes/style and being relaxed...then you weren't generating enough attraction with her.

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08-26-2019 05:43 AM
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FiremanDPP Offline
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Post: #3
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
Who gives a shit why they reject you. Next them and move on.
08-26-2019 06:52 AM
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Dart Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
(08-26-2019 05:43 AM)kinjutsu Wrote:  If you take care of the major obvious things like personal hygiene, fat/fitness, clothes/style and being relaxed...then you weren't generating enough attraction with her.

Thank you. That provides some insight, but only a little. Why wasn't I generating enough attraction with her? There can be many explanations, and these will vary.

(08-26-2019 06:52 AM)FiremanDPP Wrote:  Who gives a shit why they reject you. Next them and move on.

If I don't learn from my experiences, then I will continue to make the same mistakes.
08-26-2019 07:10 AM
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ThriceLazarus Offline
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Post: #5
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
“Why wasn't I generating enough attraction with her? There can be many explanations, and these will vary.”

“If I don't learn from my experiences, then I will continue to make the same mistakes.”

You are absolutely correct. However, this may be a data management problem at the moment. It’s difficult to analyze individual cases unless you’ve banked up relative experiences. You probably need about 300 approaches before you can do some solid data analysis and spot the trends - there are just so many variables that you’re working blind beforehand.

Make a note of the particulars (set and setting, vibe, the girl’s level, how you felt in set, etc.) and keep it rolling.
08-26-2019 09:20 AM
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iThinkThereforeIam Offline
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Post: #6
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
You can ask but unless you seem like the most chill guy ever most women that aren't hardened and manly will be evasive as they don't want to set off some psycho to go vengeful on her.

For me personally it's totally unimportant though. If you dress well, are fit, feel comfortable then you will be ok either way.

If you are a bit fragile only go for those that initially show some IOIs. (but IOIs don't really mean much if she imagined you to be a totally different person)

I look like a male model and when girls looking to get into the industry find out that's not what I'm doing anymore they tend to go cold quickly.

Others perceive themselves to be of higher social status compared to my position in life so they go cold as well.

Again - don't expect honest answers from most women. They don't need an upset guy to blow up on them.
08-28-2019 01:35 AM
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outback Offline
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Post: #7
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
It's perceived social status.

It needs to be obvious because women are attracted to men who'll boost their social status with no questions asked - if they have to explain to a girlfriend or colleague why you're actually awesome then there is doubt about it, justified or not, and it gives her rivals some leverage. If you have a talent, or burning desire, or did have, it means nothing cos women need the now.

That's why they're attracted to athletes, actors and guys with money - their clique can't do anything to weaken that social status.. It's obvious and everyone knows. Same goes for guys that went to a name-brand school or work in an exclusive company.

You can test this really easily too. When you meet a girl, be your outgoing, charming, witty self and see her fall for you instantly and do whatever you want, 'cos you're a king among men. Then some time later, tell her you don't want to socialise and just want to read books and stay at home, because that's who you really want to be. Watch her drop you fast, and treat you like dirt, and ignore you thereon. It's a proven way to toy with her self-belief that she's a good person (she's not) and also a smooth way to end a relationship.
08-29-2019 01:41 AM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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Post: #8
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
First: Look in the mirror. If you're not impressed by what you see, then you have your answer. Doesn't matter if you have crazy good inner game (confidence, etc.) - if your outer does not match this, it will be lost on most women.

Solution: Start looksmaxing immediately

If you're impressed by what you see in the mirror, then it is probably due to a lack of...

Game: Given you're posting on the Newbie forum, I would assume you are new to game. I would recommend reading as much material as you can, and trying to put it into practice. Women can sniff out a newbie, and to them that equates to beta.

Solution: Learn game

If you are game-aware, and followed all of the strategies listed in relevant literature, then it's probably due to a lack of inner game. There's little you can do about this, as inner game is primarily developed through a combination of life experience and being at the top of your game (looks, financials, health, etc). As long as you're actively working on getting your shit together, your inner game should improve over time.

And if you've hit all the boxes but she still rejected you anyway, well... women are frankly random and unpredictable. She could have rejected you for a reason as frivolous as the weather. You never really know.

Solution: Don't sweat it, keep improving, keep approaching.
08-29-2019 05:36 AM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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Post: #9
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
I wasted so much of my time in my early 20's of trying to figure out why a particular woman did this or that or rejected me and why someone was really into me at first and so on.

You don't want to do the same mistake as me and look back on your life and realise that you wasted so much time, energy and stressed yourself out just because of a woman or some women. The sooner you can adapt a stoich approach to this, focus on the process of becoming better instead and just accept that you will never know exactly why a woman acted a certain way, the less stress you will have in your life, the more energy you will have, time for other stuff and the more you will get out of life.

Sure outback has a point that it is often about perceived social status. But not always, there has to be context and therefore you should be careful with making rules like that, that it's always this reason or always that reason.

Sometimes they can go for a guy with less social status just because he's the easier choice and they seek something long term or because you live too far from each other or because her jealous friends are pushing her to go for a guy similair to their boyfriends. And you might even run into a slut is just broken from the inside who will just not stand the same man after a while and can't form longer relationships which really got nothing to do with you but with her. Women are not logical and rational so it can be unpredictable in a way.

So just accept that there are some things that our out of your control in life (like the decision of women) and move on with your life and instead of focus on them, focus on your career, your hobbies or whatever it might be.

Most women are pretty dull and boring anyway.
08-29-2019 06:03 AM
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John Dodds Offline
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Post: #10
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
The only reason a girl rejects you, is because she doesn't think you're gonna buy her a house.
Unless you're a gang member, a drug dealer or a murderer, they'll bang them for nothing.
(This post was last modified: 08-29-2019 07:28 AM by John Dodds.)
08-29-2019 07:25 AM
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Dart Offline
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Post: #11
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
These responses are helpful. There are a lot of things to think about.

To clarify, I'm talking about a perceptive ability that could let me discern, in any particular case, the reasons why someone chose to reject me. It certainly isn't the same reason every time. I have plenty of imperfections. That perceptive ability would be like a superpower. Women generally tend to be too clever for men in this regard. Men generally give up on trying to develop this ability. But still I wonder to what extent it is possible.

(08-29-2019 05:36 AM)JiggyLordJr Wrote:  women are frankly random and unpredictable

(08-29-2019 06:03 AM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  Women are not logical and rational so it can be unpredictable in a way.

Of course, we can say that. But, doesn't everything have a scientific explanation? I think so, even if it's unusually difficult to find.

(08-26-2019 09:20 AM)ThriceLazarus Wrote:  You are absolutely correct. However, this may be a data management problem at the moment. It’s difficult to analyze individual cases unless you’ve banked up relative experiences. You probably need about 300 approaches before you can do some solid data analysis and spot the trends - there are just so many variables that you’re working blind beforehand.

Make a note of the particulars (set and setting, vibe, the girl’s level, how you felt in set, etc.) and keep it rolling.

This statistical, experimental approach would help. I have done hundreds of approaches, but I haven't recorded data. It seems like a huge chore, and it would take a lot of patience. But maybe it will pay off. I'll really consider it.

(08-29-2019 05:36 AM)JiggyLordJr Wrote:  Solution: Don't sweat it, keep improving, keep approaching.

That's what I'm doing, for the most part. And I'm pretty confident. But "improvement" is a broad concept. I'm improving myself in ways that are important to me, but I also want to improve my game. I can continue in a straight line like a bulldozer and get some results. But I also want to become much more perceptive about women's behavior. I have a good scientific understanding of women, gained from books and from the experiences of other men. But my mind-reading ability is lacking.
08-29-2019 07:43 AM
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MusicForThePiano Offline
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Post: #12
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
Dart , you gotta go to that dark place, gotta stop caring.

Life gets easier afterwards. Read Roosh's articles on his personal website about flaking. You can't eliminate this behavior, its in their dna.

The less fucks you give, the more you flake on them (the flakes you have to be able to spot), the more attention they will give you. Still a numbers game in its entirety too. Get your T levels as high as possible and go out and talk to as many as you can. 4-step Kino + alcohol = easy pickings, just have car and place logistics in order.

Now its like you have to bang them before getting serious with them or they'll think you're inexperienced or a loser. The rare ones who you can court honestly are getting rarer.
08-30-2019 01:04 AM
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Captain Gh Offline
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Post: #13
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
JiggyLord has the perfect answer... all you can do is focus on Yourself!

Reading game litterature will also tremendously help you! I personally recommend Wayne Elise aka Juggler, of course Roosh's Bang and Bobby Rio to know the psychology of women.

Once you truly develop your "women's intuition" you'll realize they're all different, but the same! And when you mess up, you'll be able to pinpoint exactly where your misstep took place
08-30-2019 05:26 AM
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captain_shane Offline
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Post: #14
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
Focus on body language. This is about as close to mind reading as you'll get. Once you get really good at reading people you'll be able to spot the exact moment you mess up.

In-Depth Body Language
08-30-2019 09:41 AM
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Nightcrawler Offline
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Post: #15
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
Some good advice here in this thread.

The way I deal with rejection is by simply not giving a fuck. I am very average-looking, I need to lose weight. I will be rejected by many women because of this.

However, especially in SEA, there are millions of women who will jump into bed with me. That is where my focus is. NEXT!
(This post was last modified: 08-31-2019 12:34 PM by Nightcrawler.)
08-31-2019 12:34 PM
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Eazy_E Offline
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Post: #16
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
What do you do when you've got a little bit of a narcissism problem? I'm 6'4, not ugly, and funny. Obviously, if she don't hop in the sack with me, she's the problem, right?
08-31-2019 02:01 PM
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ksbms Offline
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Post: #17
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
You're asking a wrong question. Even if a particular girl had exquisite introspective capability and gave you a genuine answer, she would give you only her own opinion. Also, people are generally not good at giving good post-factum reasons. They often make up the reasons after a decision/situation took place.

Rather, reach for literature which gives a synoptic view of human behaviour and motivations. Evolutionary psychobiology shows us what drives a human female to have sex. There are plenty reasons for a human female to have sex but often they relate to some key subset of desirable traits in a male that will, in some form provide to her:

a) survival success
b) reproductive success.

The a) trait is usually related to a man's socio-economic status. The b) is partially intertwined with a), and such traits as height, strength, intelligence, facial symmetry, dominance, generic attractiveness, kindness, will be the ones she'll seek out in a male. All in all, the more traits that are deemed useful as per a) and/or b) you have, the less likely a female will reject you. Some are under your control, some aren't. Focus, as per advice above, on maximising the ones you control, and the rest is rolling the dice.
(This post was last modified: 08-31-2019 04:04 PM by ksbms.)
08-31-2019 04:02 PM
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Rush87 Online
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Post: #18
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
Attraction. Chances are, you'll know exactly why.
08-31-2019 04:48 PM
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subterfuge Offline
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Post: #19
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
I tend to think it's simple - 99% of the time, when she rejects you, you're basically just not he type and nothing you say can change that, so it's not worth worrying about.

My journal : https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-57783.html
(This post was last modified: 09-01-2019 04:08 AM by subterfuge.)
09-01-2019 04:08 AM
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Emperor Constantine Offline
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Post: #20
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
You can ask, but they will probably make something up.

Not all girls are looking for a guy at any point in time; a lot of times when a girl rejects you it could just be:
- She has a boyfriend
- She's in a bad mood
- She's distracted by something else
- She's in a hurry
- She only dates in her social circle
- For whatever reason she's just not looking for a guy at that particular moment

If you take care of your appearance and have decent game, it's probably one of the above.
09-02-2019 01:58 PM
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bigbeardedman Offline
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Post: #21
RE: How can I know why a girl rejects me?
I get rejected now because I don't have sex with the girl.
(This post was last modified: 09-05-2019 03:47 AM by bigbeardedman.)
09-05-2019 03:40 AM
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