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Being soft spoken
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Mikeyd03 Offline
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Post: #1
Being soft spoken
Anyone here have a quiet demeanor/soft spoken?

Reason I ask is because it has affected my social and professional life.

Been through a couple sales jobs not much success.

I have the capacity to be louder, but it feels forced and I don’t enjoy talking all that much.

Im aware of toastmasters. Just curious if anyone else is of a quiet nature.

I’m aware that my soft voice can be perceived as weakness...and while I don’t care much about the perception, it has affected me.

Thanks in advance.
09-06-2019 04:42 PM
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tonysoprano Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Being soft spoken
Similar situation here, sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it until someone asks me to repeat myself 3 times in a row.

I've learned to adapt when needed and project my voice better, like when on the phone with a client. It feels forced at first but you get used to it after a while and can turn it on and off without thinking.
09-06-2019 07:29 PM
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tugofpeace Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Being soft spoken
Get jacked. People won't think you're weak if you're quiet and jacked. They'll just think you'll fuck them up, and consequently show deference.
09-06-2019 10:07 PM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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RE: Being soft spoken
(09-06-2019 10:07 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  Get jacked. People won't think you're weak if you're quiet and jacked. They'll just think you'll fuck them up, and consequently show deference.

This. I'm by nature an introvert, but I'm also shredded from calesthenics + low-carbs. Changes the game completely - people will see you very differently.

Soft spoken and skinny = shy loser

Soft spoken and jacked = calm alpha
09-07-2019 02:40 AM
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tugofpeace Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Being soft spoken
(09-07-2019 02:40 AM)JiggyLordJr Wrote:  
(09-06-2019 10:07 PM)tugofpeace Wrote:  Get jacked. People won't think you're weak if you're quiet and jacked. They'll just think you'll fuck them up, and consequently show deference.

This. I'm by nature an introvert, but I'm also shredded from calesthenics + low-carbs. Changes the game completely - people will see you very differently.

Soft spoken and skinny = shy loser

Soft spoken and jacked = calm alpha

There was a guy at my work - ex marine, 6'6'', muscular, bald, goatee, dude never smiled or nodded in agreement, moved slow, and was dead quiet. At the top of his field (electrical engineering), he even had patents. Guarantee nobody ever gave him a hard time for being quiet.
09-07-2019 08:49 PM
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Chad's Day Off Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Being soft spoken
(09-06-2019 04:42 PM)Mikeyd03 Wrote:  Anyone here have a quiet demeanor/soft spoken?

Reason I ask is because it has affected my social and professional life.

Been through a couple sales jobs not much success.

I have the capacity to be louder, but it feels forced and I don’t enjoy talking all that much.

Im aware of toastmasters. Just curious if anyone else is of a quiet nature.

I’m aware that my soft voice can be perceived as weakness...and while I don’t care much about the perception, it has affected me.

Thanks in advance.

I'd call myself reserved, in terms of personality with others, you could describe me as a mix of a Finn (prone to long periods of quiet, around others, especially even good friends, but intensely social in some situations. Alcohol being the situation hahaha). Sometimes, don't know what it is, seems like people aren't listening to me when I speak up. Still not sure how to fix it. I'm starting to think it's body language or something i could be subconsciously project. Maybe something about my physical presence... But to project more confidence I speak with confidence and precision. By doing that, I feel more confident, as circular as that sounds.

Like you I was in sales, I think I was a bad fit b/c I was not building the right rapport or projecting the right thing to the customer. I just concluded sales was not for me. Even though I would not say in a narrow sense that I am not an introvert (or soft spoken).

I think for the both of us it could be some physical projection (or lack therof) or maybe a charisma issue (which is fine because many learn it). I suspect I will be reading a book on it, or studying charisma methods, along with that maybe comes having good anecdotes and working on small talk and building common ground with strangers. Dang, I may even start small talk more with strangers, and be more mindful to be more phsyically "there", when I engage in conversation. Maybe I'll work on varying voice tone, pace, too, so I sound less monotone. I'm thinking out loud here, but maybe, one of these things will help.

Related, if your soft (volume) a trick you can use is to speak from your diaphragm, I'm not going to describe it right, but just imagine speaking from the bottom of your lungs or with your muscles in your chest. Look it up. In brass playing, we breathe from the diaphragm/ support our airflow with it, while in acting, I believe actors speak from it to project on stage. It should at least help you a bit, and allow you to speak louder.
(This post was last modified: 09-07-2019 09:29 PM by Chad's Day Off.)
09-07-2019 09:23 PM
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