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Broke up with my gf because of her past
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idolatry Offline
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Post: #51
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
In the past this forum would have advised you keep banging her while you find another girl, but hey at least you have your morals and your right palm.
09-13-2019 10:42 AM
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Levaduro Offline
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Post: #52
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
My own thoughts are that you should be happy, you have dodged a bullet sir. It's amazing that she has told you the truth (or a lie that has led you to take the right decision because it's likely that she have had more than 10 ONS).

I know that it hurts now but just have to see things from different angle:

-there was no marriage and no children. This basically means that you don't have to pay alimony to anyone or you will have to through the ordeal of divorce
-2 years is not a lot of time. You really haven't invested much time on that girl/
-I am pretty sure that you have learnt quite a lot things that will be helpful for your future relationships.
(This post was last modified: 09-13-2019 11:17 AM by Levaduro.)
09-13-2019 11:15 AM
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Rush87 Offline
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Post: #53
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-11-2019 10:46 AM)General Mayhem Wrote:  Who here has actually followed the advice that Roosh laid out here for any meaningful period of time?

I don't think you can live like a heathen only looking for women in the worst possible places in the west and still bitch that there aren't any unicorns to be found.

The forum is taking a turn but right now it seems like there is more theory being discussed than anything else. It's going to take some guys actually hitting the ground with these new ideas to see what's possible.

Just like the old game where you had to log a lot of approaches, this new game will require similar discipline and persistence but in a different manner.

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. For guys in our position, I honestly don't know how realistic it is to set our sights immediately on finding virgins. Current state, are we the kind of men who deserve to have them? If you believe in god, do you really think he is going to deliver a virgin just because you had a change of ideology?

Let's be honest about the situation on the ground right now. Like it or not, right now the virgin brides are mostly going to the going to young virgin husbands, highschool sweethearts, etc. Last night my mom told me about her co-worker's daughter getting married at 18 to a guy who she had been with for years in high school.

You can't just decide one day to play the new game and expect virgins anymore than you could just decide to become a playboy and slay 10s in the old game.

One thing I committed to as my relationship with my fiance was ending was that wouldn't let the breakup poison my mind. The last thing I need is to be infected with a doomer mentality.

This is truth. There is idealism and practicality. Notch count is also a very flawed metric, because as Loremipsum said, "The only difference between a notch count of 3 and 10 is time". A slut will always be a slut at heart. Catching her at 1 notch doesn't remove the red flag.

If guys are to be truly successful in finding a long term relationship, judging their moral compass must take far higher precedent over her notch count, otherwise I'm afraid most of the men here will remain single and jaded.
(This post was last modified: 09-13-2019 11:27 AM by Rush87.)
09-13-2019 11:26 AM
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loremipsum Offline
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Post: #54
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
Keep in mind thats """10""" ONS from BARS.
Not to mention notches before adult age, or from Tinder, or festivals, or travelling, or girls night outs.

Makes me sick and makes me want to puke.
I am angry at myself for letting it even go this far.
There's a limit to how many men you can imagine blasting onto your "future wife" before going insane and losing all feelings
you had for a woman.

Guys, I'm pretty sure this is karma from pumping and dumping a virgin who was really into me at one time in my life.
Like a faustian deal "Oh you don't like virgins, well here's extra not-virgin for you".
I got what I deserved.
(This post was last modified: 09-13-2019 02:01 PM by loremipsum.)
09-13-2019 01:50 PM
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Rush87 Offline
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Post: #55
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-13-2019 01:50 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  Keep in mind thats """10""" ONS from BARS.
Not to mention notches before adult age, or from Tinder, or festivals, or travelling, or girls night outs.

Makes me sick and makes me want to puke.
I am angry at myself for letting it even go this far.
There's a limit to how many men you can imagine blasting onto your "future wife" before going insane and losing all feelings
you had for a woman.

Guys, I'm pretty sure this is karma from pumping and dumping a virgin who was really into me at one time in my life.
Like a faustian deal "Oh you don't like virgins, well here's extra not-virgin for you".
I got what I deserved.

ONS count, rather than notch count should be the biggest red flag to look out for and I think 0 is the ideal number. 99% of men over the age of 20 aren't finding a virgin, but women who actually value sex are out there.
(This post was last modified: 09-13-2019 02:09 PM by Rush87.)
09-13-2019 02:08 PM
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idolatry Offline
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Post: #56
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-13-2019 01:50 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  Keep in mind thats """10""" ONS from BARS.
Not to mention notches before adult age, or from Tinder, or festivals, or travelling, or girls night outs.

Makes me sick and makes me want to puke.
I am angry at myself for letting it even go this far.
There's a limit to how many men you can imagine blasting onto your "future wife" before going insane and losing all feelings
you had for a woman.

Guys, I'm pretty sure this is karma from pumping and dumping a virgin who was really into me at one time in my life.
Like a faustian deal "Oh you don't like virgins, well here's extra not-virgin for you".
I got what I deserved.



09-13-2019 06:48 PM
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Herzeleid Offline
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Post: #57
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
I personally believe that even if a meaningful relationship/marriage is your goal you shouldn't forget what women are. Women are sexual creatures. They love sex and they all lack the rational mind to reflect their behaviors and moral codex. My ex gf was agreeing 100% with my views and we talked a lot about conservatism, Jordan Peterson and generally the bad influence of our society and leftist. But she wasn't agreeing because she really believed it, she agreed because she loved me. A few weeks later she dumped me because I became beta/unattractive.

My points is, even if you try to fulfill your ideals and moral beliefs don't forget what women are. Don't expect virgins and perfect girls. You yourself had many sexual encounters, you have the sin so why you expect her to be clean? Search for a relatively smart and good girl and make the best of it and if you get burned, remember why you have accepted that risk.
09-14-2019 09:05 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #58
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-12-2019 03:07 PM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  I was going to edit my post and add this vid, but didnt realize there was a time limit. Regardless, here is a video on courtship. Of course to follow these steps AND expect the woman to do so as well would be a very hard to find here in the U.S, but ideally, this is what society should strive for:

https://youtu.be/r1V4w38v2mI

I just realized that the Lord taught me something about this without me having that video seen first.
09-26-2019 09:43 AM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #59
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
I wanted to ask this question due to forum changes

But what’s an average accepted notch count for a woman.

Judging from the new dynamic, anything above 1 is taboo. However most college aged women tend to have Atleast 5-10.
09-26-2019 12:38 PM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #60
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-26-2019 12:38 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  I wanted to ask this question due to forum changes

But what’s an average accepted notch count for a woman.

Judging from the new dynamic, anything above 1 is taboo. However most college aged women tend to have Atleast 5-10.

The first question is if the woman believes in God.

If not the notch count doesn't matter.
09-26-2019 01:01 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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Post: #61
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-26-2019 01:01 PM)wwtl Wrote:  
(09-26-2019 12:38 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  I wanted to ask this question due to forum changes

But what’s an average accepted notch count for a woman.

Judging from the new dynamic, anything above 1 is taboo. However most college aged women tend to have Atleast 5-10.

The first question is if the woman believes in God.

If not the notch count doesn't matter.

Even faith is not a enough if she has no work for it.
One the biggest sluts back around in HS was a self proclaimed religious girl.
No amount of hail mary will make her a wife candidate if she does not practice what she preaches.
(This post was last modified: 09-26-2019 01:55 PM by loremipsum.)
09-26-2019 01:51 PM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #62
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-26-2019 01:51 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  
(09-26-2019 01:01 PM)wwtl Wrote:  
(09-26-2019 12:38 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  I wanted to ask this question due to forum changes

But what’s an average accepted notch count for a woman.

Judging from the new dynamic, anything above 1 is taboo. However most college aged women tend to have Atleast 5-10.

The first question is if the woman believes in God.

If not the notch count doesn't matter.

Even faith is useless if she has no work for it.
One the biggest sluts back around in HS was a self proclaimed religious girl.

Girls love virtue signaling. This obviously includes showing off how much they are into religion in certain circles. Ever wondered why the hijab is so popular in the West?

But the only thing which matters is if there is actual faith in and fear of a real living Christian God.
09-26-2019 01:56 PM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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Post: #63
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-26-2019 09:43 AM)wwtl Wrote:  I just realized that the Lord taught me something about this without me having that video seen first.

Isnt that the best part of it all? If we all think back to a time before we were "crushed" and jaded by our first love, or before learning game and become players, we were for the most part by default, following the right steps of courtship. Me and my first ex were both virgins when we met at the age of 18. I met her on FB back in 2007 (lol), and we messaged back and forth for a few weeks before meeting up. We kissed (horribly because it was my first kiss) and became official a month after that in February. We waited up until September of that year to have Sex...what i remember most vividly is having 0 issues with waiting because we had no idea what the feeling was like, but most importantly, we truly got to know each other well. Unfortunately 5 years later, things didnt pan out, because i was blue-pilled, 0 idea on masculinity and no vision for the future, so rightfully she ended things. Little did I know then how much the world would change in regards to finding someone like this again. Anyway, I would be lying if I said that that wasnt the ideal situation to possibly have pursued a marriage.

(09-26-2019 12:38 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  I wanted to ask this question due to forum changes

But what’s an average accepted notch count for a woman.

Judging from the new dynamic, anything above 1 is taboo. However most college aged women tend to have Atleast 5-10.

A low notch count is VERY important, I dont care what anyone says. My first ex had 0, second ex had +25 and current has 3-5. I dont want to be too vulgar, use your imagination here, but the best "feeling" (we know as men what that entails) was with my first ex of 0(all throughout relationship, feeling never got worse), the worst was with the 25+ notch count(could barely "feel" anything), current gf is in between, so make of that what you will. A low to 0 notch count also guarantees the woman will be able to pair bond with you the best. Imo, i would be looking for 5 and below if I were you, with 0 being the best.

If you go after a virgin, be prepared to wait, which should be easy for men to do here now that we are moving towards God. It will be worth it.
(This post was last modified: 09-26-2019 04:18 PM by Augustus_Principe.)
09-26-2019 04:09 PM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #64
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-26-2019 04:09 PM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  
(09-26-2019 09:43 AM)wwtl Wrote:  I just realized that the Lord taught me something about this without me having that video seen first.

Isnt that the best part of it all? If we all think back to a time before we were "crushed" and jaded by our first love, or before learning game and become players, we were for the most part by default, following the right steps of courtship. Me and my first ex were both virgins when we met at the age of 18. I met her on FB back in 2007 (lol), and we messaged back and forth for a few weeks before meeting up. We kissed (horribly because it was my first kiss) and became official a month after that in February. We waited up until September of that year to have Sex...what i remember most vividly is having 0 issues with waiting because we had no idea what the feeling was like, but most importantly, we truly got to know each other well. Unfortunately 5 years later, things didnt pan out, because i was blue-pilled, 0 idea on masculinity and no vision for the future, so rightfully she ended things. Little did I know then how much the world would change in regards to finding someone like this again. Anyway, I would be lying if I said that that wasnt the ideal situation to possibly have pursued a marriage.

Well, you described a cute romance and were dating for five years, which didn't pan out, because the hard time limit until first pregnancy is 3 years.

But this isn't what I referred to. Fr. Chad (sic!) Ripperger described a process inserted before "dating" to assess candidates without an useless investment into a "LTR", which goes nowhere (and wastes years of precious lifetime):

Fr. Chad Ripperger Wrote:The primary thing about courtship is virtue.

And not virtue signaling of course - actually acting virtuous.

This year I met a girl with an age similar to your first one - of course non-virgin. Who is (still) into me and was happy to have an adventure - all that while already dating a non-believer - fully embracing the Western lifestyle of spinning plates.

While she was desperately trying to convince me non-verbally to escalate physically I was carefully playing along until - on the peak of her display of attraction - I decided to act virtuous, show deliberate restraint and let go of her. The interesting thing is how she reacted: She started displaying commitment to her existing relationship and restraint as well, she also put a renewed and increased focus on growing in her faith.

So my behavior made an impression and changed her into displaying virtue, the process Fr. Ripperger is referring to. All that while no "dating", "romance" or anything "official" has happened. So there are still no lost investments when this little life lesson by God (as which I classify this) served its purpose.
09-26-2019 05:53 PM
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Frank Mackey Offline
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Post: #65
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
good for her that she had fun, more likely she will be ready now to settle with someone whom she likes. I find hilarious that guys here consider these girls "damaged material", but on the other hand are very proud of their high body count. Honestly I could care less about her body count, and this is not a question I would ask to a girl I wish to become my girlfriend. I quite prefer that she is not a virgin or with a low experience, as this can lead to frustrations later when she is committed.
09-30-2019 12:16 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 12:16 PM)Frank Mackey Wrote:  good for her that she had fun, more likely she will be ready now to settle with someone whom she likes. I find hilarious that guys here consider these girls "damaged material", but on the other hand are very proud of their high body count. Honestly I could care less about her body count, and this is not a question I would ask to a girl I wish to become my girlfriend. I quite prefer that she is not a virgin or with a low experience, as this can lead to frustrations later when she is committed.

Jordan

Frustration such as?
Of course there are cases of virgins who cheat because they want to experience what is it like to be with another guy.
However since it's all about minimizing risks, the high notch count is a much larger risk that stats back up.
Not to mention notch count (not relationship count) tells very much about the character of the girl.
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2019 12:54 PM by loremipsum.)
09-30-2019 12:51 PM
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Feyoder Offline
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Post: #67
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-10-2019 06:45 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  I don't feel like even seeing other women. What's the point of fornicating with sluts or collecting notches, you banged her - great, so has others.
Even as I am now becoming more spiritual, I want nothing to do with the hookup culture. It's bad for your soul and it's bad for women. I can't criticize sluts yet be part in enabling them, it's male hamsterization at it's finest.

I'm sick of it too. It's pretty obvious it was an ((invention)) to put hetro men on the gay disco style of consumption and materialism. I just feel drained from it.

You absolutely made the right decision by the way. Don't lower your standards and second guess yourself on this one.

I see there is the usual "all women are whores so you just have accept it as a part of life". This is obviously not true. And is probably a form of cope.
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2019 01:24 PM by Feyoder.)
09-30-2019 01:19 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
The first few days after the break up I wondered if I did the right decision, but after that I haven't regretted since.
Then it transformed into anger towards myself for missing the red flags and having become emotionally invested in such person.

One thing I however did not expect was the lack of direction in dating life as a single man.
I have no idea where to meet non slutty women who don't give the goods easily, so I have been focusing on myself now.
It's like living in an unknown world.
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2019 01:35 PM by loremipsum.)
09-30-2019 01:34 PM
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #69
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 01:34 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  The first few days after the break up I wondered if I did the right decision, but after that I haven't regretted since.
Then it transformed into anger towards myself for missing the red flags and having become emotionally invested in such person.

One thing I however did not expect was the lack of direction in dating life as a single man.
I have no idea where to meet non slutty women who don't give the goods easily, so I have been focusing on myself now.
It's like living in an unknown world.

Don't beat yourself up over it. When you are in love, your sense of logic goes out the window while dealing with that individual.

You are right about this current state of relationships with women. Thanks to social media and divorce courts it's becoming almost a joke to be in a serious relationship.
09-30-2019 02:56 PM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 01:34 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  The first few days after the break up I wondered if I did the right decision, but after that I haven't regretted since.
Then it transformed into anger towards myself for missing the red flags and having become emotionally invested in such person.

One thing I however did not expect was the lack of direction in dating life as a single man.
I have no idea where to meet non slutty women who don't give the goods easily, so I have been focusing on myself now.
It's like living in an unknown world.

I didn't either, so I did go monk mode until I was a decade older. However you could try my approach without waiting this long and ask the Matchmaker for help sooner.

(09-30-2019 02:56 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Don't beat yourself up over it. When you are in love, your sense of logic goes out the window while dealing with that individual.

You are right about this current state of relationships with women. Thanks to social media and divorce courts it's becoming almost a joke to be in a serious relationship.

You should never enter a relationship in the state of romantic delusion and have a proper vetting process (courtship) beforehand. Love is a choice, not a feeling.
09-30-2019 03:19 PM
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SilentOne Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 03:19 PM)wwtl Wrote:  You should never enter a relationship in the state of romantic delusion and have a proper vetting process (courtship) beforehand. Love is a choice, not a feeling.

You are wrong. You can be in love with someone you are not in a relationship with. It happens all the time and it's not your decision. The only decision you have is how you choose to deal with that individual.
09-30-2019 03:39 PM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 03:39 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(09-30-2019 03:19 PM)wwtl Wrote:  You should never enter a relationship in the state of romantic delusion and have a proper vetting process (courtship) beforehand. Love is a choice, not a feeling.

You are wrong. You can be in love with someone you are not in a relationship with. It happens all the time and it's not your decision. The only decision you have is how you choose to deal with that individual.

Of course, romantic delusion is often the usual state men are in when they choose to enter relationships or even marriage. (And end up with breakup/divorce, once it goes away.)

However you can make a deliberate choice to drop the romantic delusion (might take a few weeks of full separation) and while that doesn't make the tingles itself go away, you can properly vet someone with a functioning brain then.

After weighting the pros and cons (if you don't find (m)any cons, it's a sure sign you're still in delusion) you can choose to love the girl anyway and then and only then go for it.
09-30-2019 03:55 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 02:56 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(09-30-2019 01:34 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  The first few days after the break up I wondered if I did the right decision, but after that I haven't regretted since.
Then it transformed into anger towards myself for missing the red flags and having become emotionally invested in such person.

One thing I however did not expect was the lack of direction in dating life as a single man.
I have no idea where to meet non slutty women who don't give the goods easily, so I have been focusing on myself now.
It's like living in an unknown world.

Don't beat yourself up over it. When you are in love, your sense of logic goes out the window while dealing with that individual.

You are right about this current state of relationships with women. Thanks to social media and divorce courts it's becoming almost a joke to be in a serious relationship.

Hell, I don't remember it being this bad 5 years ago. Either it has exponentially got worse or my eyes have been opened. It just might be both.
(This post was last modified: 10-01-2019 04:12 AM by loremipsum.)
10-01-2019 04:11 AM
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Bur_Khan98 Offline
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Post: #74
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
You did the right things. Certain people will damage your life and your gut tells you exactly how to get away and when.
10-01-2019 04:59 AM
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thedream Offline
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RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
Question to the OP: did you feel the same level of attraction to the girl at the end of the relationship as you did at the beginning?

The reason why I ask is I find that can affect how we as men perceive a girl in the beginning/end of a relationship.
10-01-2019 10:58 AM
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