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Broke up with my gf because of her past
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loremipsum Offline
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Post: #76
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(10-01-2019 10:58 AM)thedream Wrote:  Question to the OP: did you feel the same level of attraction to the girl at the end of the relationship as you did at the beginning?

The reason why I ask is I find that can affect how we as men perceive a girl in the beginning/end of a relationship.

When we first started out I was spinning plates, but my eventually I focused on this girl.
The feelings were strongest at the start, which hearing from others is normal.
Like I said, the conservative appearance was something that made me consider this girl for a serious relationship.
In 2 years I grew as a person and don't even find same type of women attractive that I found back then. When I heard about her past, the feelings from my end started to fade with a huge feeling of disgust, and at that point there was nothing that could be done.

But yes I was naive and blind. What kind of conservative girl holds hands with you after a few dates. That should have been a slap into my face, but now I have learned the hard way.
10-01-2019 11:49 AM
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thedream Offline
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Post: #77
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
Thanks for your response. I am having a somewhat similar situation in my current relationship. That's why I was curious.

I think a girl who is conservative can hold hands after a few dates. I wouldn't have an issue with that.

I understand why you ultimately chose what you did. Reading over your OP again, that's a lot of ONS.

Curious: what do you think you will do next in your life in terms of relationships? Do you see yourself looking elsewhere to meet a girl?

What about her appearance made you think she was conservative? Was this an American girl?
10-01-2019 12:07 PM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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Post: #78
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(10-01-2019 04:11 AM)loremipsum Wrote:  
(09-30-2019 02:56 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(09-30-2019 01:34 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  The first few days after the break up I wondered if I did the right decision, but after that I haven't regretted since.
Then it transformed into anger towards myself for missing the red flags and having become emotionally invested in such person.

One thing I however did not expect was the lack of direction in dating life as a single man.
I have no idea where to meet non slutty women who don't give the goods easily, so I have been focusing on myself now.
It's like living in an unknown world.

Don't beat yourself up over it. When you are in love, your sense of logic goes out the window while dealing with that individual.

You are right about this current state of relationships with women. Thanks to social media and divorce courts it's becoming almost a joke to be in a serious relationship.

Hell, I don't remember it being this bad 5 years ago. Either it has exponentially got worse or my eyes have been opened. It just might be both.

Funny, i said the same thing back in 2012 after my first breakup from my 1st relationship which lasted 5 years. You'll bounce back and adapt, as well all are doing.
10-01-2019 12:48 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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Post: #79
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(10-01-2019 12:07 PM)thedream Wrote:  Thanks for your response. I am having a somewhat similar situation in my current relationship. That's why I was curious.

I think a girl who is conservative can hold hands after a few dates. I wouldn't have an issue with that.

I understand why you ultimately chose what you did. Reading over your OP again, that's a lot of ONS.

Curious: what do you think you will do next in your life in terms of relationships? Do you see yourself looking elsewhere to meet a girl?

What about her appearance made you think she was conservative? Was this an American girl?

To be honest I'm just as clueless as I was before I got into red pill and bought found Roosh's books.
This time it's different in the sense that I have no problem screening and finding easy girls that would hold hands with me. Nothing would stop me from going to club and eventually finding some easy lay.

Instead I have a problem finding ones that aren't like that.
It is after all what all the practice in clubs, online dating, daygame etc. was for.
Sure I have still game and learned invaluable lessons from sleeping around, so it was not all for nothing.

She was european. As to what gave me the conservative impression
Quote:Intact good family, anti-feminist, conservative, slim, long hair.
She also hated LGBTP and climate change propaganda before I even met her.
Also add modest dressing and very "shy neighbourhood girl" outward appearance.

The more I think about it and her stories, the more it becomes clear that this mask is fairly recent. If I replay the reels of the things she hinted on casual conversations on the first few months, I'd guess the overrall notch count is somewhere between 30-40.
BTW she loved travelling in the past. Who would have guessed lmao.
Maybe she figured out that's the mask guys want after years of getting pumped and dumped.
(This post was last modified: 10-01-2019 01:05 PM by loremipsum.)
10-01-2019 01:00 PM
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Augustus_Principe
highflyer01 Offline
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Post: #80
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
Deep love is not all about emotions but deep and critical thinking.And it is the mind that steers our thought life.
Since your mind is now disturbed by her past,it will surely affect your relationship with her if you guys end up walking down the aisle.
I can visualize that the level of trust you have for her is 0.5%...what is the essence of being in a relationship when you don't trust your significant other?
The question is do you want her back? or want to move ahead and meet that belle waiting for you?
10-01-2019 02:53 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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Post: #81
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
^The relationship has ended weeks ago. I don't know what you are talking about.
10-01-2019 03:08 PM
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Frank Mackey Offline
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Post: #82
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(09-30-2019 12:51 PM)loremipsum Wrote:  
(09-30-2019 12:16 PM)Frank Mackey Wrote:  good for her that she had fun, more likely she will be ready now to settle with someone whom she likes. I find hilarious that guys here consider these girls "damaged material", but on the other hand are very proud of their high body count. Honestly I could care less about her body count, and this is not a question I would ask to a girl I wish to become my girlfriend. I quite prefer that she is not a virgin or with a low experience, as this can lead to frustrations later when she is committed.

Jordan

Frustration such as?
Of course there are cases of virgins who cheat because they want to experience what is it like to be with another guy.
However since it's all about minimizing risks, the high notch count is a much larger risk that stats back up.
Not to mention notch count (not relationship count) tells very much about the character of the girl.

There r stats, made by biased reviewers connected to church etc. Girls who were virgins when they got married are often from closer communities where they just don't have the options such as small villages, religious communities etc.

Interesting read:
https://www.theatlantic.com/national/arc...-y/372414/

'The real take-away here is that Americans are a judge-y people. Thirty percent said they don't believe in pre-marital sex, even though, as of 2006, 95 percent of Americans were doing it. '

Let me guess: U re american?
(This post was last modified: 10-01-2019 05:50 PM by Frank Mackey.)
10-01-2019 05:40 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #83
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
OP, sorry to hear about this. It's never pleasant pulling the trigger and being unsure if that was the right decision. It's normal to feel this way, but sadly not normal to have this conversation openly as a man in today's world, save a few plots of shade in this blistering sun of degerancy.

From what it sounds like, you made the right choice. Your gut, your conscience, I believe, are there for a reason and they don't give you trouble without one.

G
10-04-2019 03:21 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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Post: #84
RE: Broke up with my gf because of her past
(10-04-2019 03:21 PM)Geomann180 Wrote:  OP, sorry to hear about this. It's never pleasant pulling the trigger and being unsure if that was the right decision. It's normal to feel this way, but sadly not normal to have this conversation openly as a man in today's world, save a few plots of shade in this blistering sun of degerancy.

From what it sounds like, you made the right choice. Your gut, your conscience, I believe, are there for a reason and they don't give you trouble without one.

G

Thanks man, and I do really believe in the power of gut too. I'm mostly now disappointed in myself and that my screening skills led me to waste time. It may be that even more women begin to wear this conservative mask and it's our job to look beneath it.
10-05-2019 07:54 AM
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