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Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
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SlickyBoy Offline
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Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
The Atlantic put out an article that might pass as news to a boomer, but there's a few things hidden between the lines worth noting:

Quote:On the 20th anniversary of The New York Times’ popular Vows column, a weekly feature on notable weddings and engagements launched in 1992, its longtime editor wrote that Vows was meant to be more than just a news notice about society events. It aimed to give readers the backstory on marrying couples and, in the meantime, to explore how romance was changing with the times. “Twenty years ago, as now, most couples told us they’d met through their friends or family, or in college,” wrote the editor, Bob Woletz, in 2012. “For a period that ran into the late 1990s, a number said, often sheepishly, that they had met through personal advertisements.”

But in 2018, seven of the 53 couples profiled in the Vows column met on dating apps.

Matt Lundquist, a couples therapist based in Manhattan, says he’s started taking on a less excited or expectant tone when he asks young couples and recently formed couples how they met. “Because a few of them will say to me, ‘Uhhh, we met on Tinder’—like, ‘Where else do you think we would have met?’” Plus, he adds, it’s never a good start to therapy when a patient thinks the therapist is behind the times or uncool.

A) If you're in couples therapy, you might as well call the divorce lawyer before your wife does - it's all over. and B) what did you expect, you met your wife on Tinder? But you aren't alone, it looks like this is a trend.

Quote:Dating apps originated in the gay community; Grindr and Scruff, which helped single men link up by searching for other active users within a specific geographic radius, launched in 2009 and 2010, respectively. With the launch of Tinder in 2012, iPhone-owning people of all sexualities could start looking for love, or sex, or casual dating, and it quickly became the most popular dating app on the market.

Roosh pointed out that dating itself originated in the gay community, so this temporal mirroring was only logical. But as with all things degenerate, it got worse:

Quote:But the gigantic shift in dating culture really started to take hold the following year, when Tinder expanded to Android phones, then to more than 70 percent of smartphones worldwide. Shortly thereafter, many more dating apps came online.

This was the stake through the heart, as any man living abroad would already know. I recently heard from someone in the phils since 2012 remark that the downward spiral he's seen there since that time have gotten remarkably worse, in direct relation to the appearance of inexpensive Android phones to replace the cheap Nokias and Ericssons they were used to. The women there are less interested in children, more interested in living the party life, more likely to experiment with lesbianism and the guys are even more likely to be zeroed out than they already were.

But they try to paper over any dismay...
Quote: Tinder has indeed helped people meet other people—it has expanded the reach of singles’ social networks, facilitating interactions between people who might never have crossed paths otherwise. The 30-year-old Jess Flores of Virginia Beach got married to her first and only Tinder date this past October, and she says they likely would have never met if it weren’t for the app.

For starters, Flores says, the guys she usually went for back in 2014 were what she describes as “sleeve-tattoo” types. Her now-husband Mike, though, was “clean cut, no tattoos. Completely opposite of what I would usually go for.” She decided to take a chance on him after she’d laughed at a funny line in his Tinder bio. (Today, she can no longer remember what it was.)
Translation: She fucked the bad boys all through her 20s using Tinder for "hookups" but when she reached her epiphany stage she went on her first Tinder "date" and found some beta to be the last man in the gang bang. For now.

Quote:An expanded radius of potential mates can be a great thing if you’re looking to date or hook up with a broad variety of people who are different from you, says Madeleine Fugère, a professor of psychology at Eastern Connecticut State University who specializes in attraction and romantic relationships. “Normally, if you met someone at school or at work, you would probably already have a lot in common with that person,” Fugere says. “Whereas if you’re meeting someone purely based on geographic location, there’s definitely a greater chance that they would be different from you in some way.”

A tenured professor of slutting around - only in America. While you're doing your research honey, please find out some statistics on who files for divorce, and ask her if she had a lot in common with her husband when they got married. Guessing she'll say yes. Maybe there's another guy on Tinder

Quote: Holly Wood, who wrote her Harvard sociology dissertation last year on singles’ behaviors on dating sites and dating apps, heard a lot of these ugly stories too. And after speaking to more than 100 straight-identifying, college-educated men and women in San Francisco about their experiences on dating apps, she firmly believes that if dating apps didn’t exist, these casual acts of unkindness in dating would be far less common. ...

...“OkCupid,” she remembers, “invited walls of text. And that, for me, was really important. I’m one of those people who wants to feel like I have a sense of who you are before we go on a first date. Then Tinder”—which has a 500-character limit for bios—“happened, and the shallowness in the profile was encouraged.”

Did she really find 100 straight identifying people in San Fran? Maybe she meant Oakland. Sorry, not buying the part about text being important though. The popularity of Tinder among its primary, intended market, women, proves otherwise. Musings of a post-wall spinster notwithstanding.

Anyway, you get the idea - the app hookup market has matured, marriages that come from it are worse than toast and even for younger guys looking to hook up it's become a gigantic trash heap.

Twitter: @_slickyboy
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(This post was last modified: 09-14-2019 01:05 AM by SlickyBoy.)
09-14-2019 12:59 AM
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Eazy_E Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Tinder isn't the cause of the decline, tinder just makes the decline easier to see.
09-14-2019 01:13 AM
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Days of Broken Arrows Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Every time someone posts a link to a story I like this, I ask why they didn't post the byline of the writer. The reason for this is because the same group of people write these stories and knowing who wrote it gives you insight to the writer's biases and agendas.

This story is no exception. It was written by Ashley Fetters, who is not just an ideologue, but a mindless one. Here is a link to all her stories at the Atlantic.

What does Ashley write about? How the gay characters on the children's show "Arthur" reflect "changing norms." Growing up on a houseful of "perfect dogs." Santa Claus is "nothing but stress" for families who don't believe in him (as if adults believe in Santa). There's also the one asking if stay-at-home dads are "reshaping" masculinity.

Most disturbingly, she examines the concept of paternity fraud by asking a "historian of fatherhood" (WTF?) whether DNA testing will be seen as a "positive development." Translation: Women can no longer lie to men about being the father of their child, so that's not "positive." Sample sentence: "...for most of modern history, neither the public nor the courts made any distinction between legal and biological fatherhood."

I used to write "trend stories" like this. They allow you to choose your own sources. She chose a source who seems to be inventing his own version of "modern history." As far as I know, paternity always mattered, hence the long-term use of words like "bastard" and "illegitimate."

But I digress. In short, this writer is like the print version of the women on "The View." Big on trendy pop culture bias and short on insight, balance, and depth.

So, anything she writes about Tinder needs to be viewed within the context of her work. To me that means don't expect anything but the obvious and expect that to be biased in terms of "how does this affect women?"

So let's remember to post bylines. To me, they often tell more than the actual story. Because this story more or less said nothing.
(This post was last modified: 09-14-2019 01:53 AM by Days of Broken Arrows.)
09-14-2019 01:50 AM
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loremipsum Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-14-2019 01:13 AM)Eazy_E Wrote:  Tinder isn't the cause of the decline, tinder just makes the decline easier to see.
Had it not been for Tinder an alternative would have eventually emerged.
Decline of family values being all part of the plan, sadly.
(This post was last modified: 09-14-2019 01:53 AM by loremipsum.)
09-14-2019 01:51 AM
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gework Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
The best part of this is the line:

Quote:She decided to take a chance on him after she’d laughed at a funny line in his Tinder bio. (Today, she can no longer remember what it was.)

Western women are by and large addled, jaded and devoid of meaning. Her now husband managed to rouse a brief moment of pleasure for her and it led to marriage. But her life is so devoid of anything other than brief injections of pleasure she can't find it in the void with all the others.

From adventures in countries where dating, if a thing at all, is largely conducted in private, women in these countries really value what attention they get. In The West a funny line may get you into the "will consider consider (sic) thinking about dating you" bracket. You may need to keep hitting them with mindless hits of dopamine to keep them interested. The same could be a cherished moment for a girl in a number of other countries.

As noted on the forum, hitting higher notch counts dries up the value of the act. The same with women with the attention they get. When you're carrying around infinite male attention in your pocket, get approached multiple times a night in drinking establishments and have regular passes made at you, it becomes virtually meaningless. They don't become like heroine addicts flirting with a lethal dose, just to feel something again. This is a drug that makes you despondent and move away from the drug. Many pro-sluts have periods of celibacy (often lasting years, or so they say). All this while they know there is a swarm of simpering gammas ready to give them the other half of what they want.
(This post was last modified: 09-14-2019 09:41 AM by gework.)
09-14-2019 09:39 AM
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Easy_C Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Tinder isn’t just a symptom. It’s an accelerant.

I personally have no objection to the concept. I used it myself to find a nice conservative lady. The value of it is when you have niche requirements and need to focus on them. In those instances it can be helpful to make sure you’re swimming in the right pool.


Also since when are these “dating apps”? Grindr was a HOOKUP app. Tinder as well....although the similarity brings home to roost Dr Jones’s comment that “straight people in America are expected to act like homosexuals”.
09-14-2019 10:46 AM
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Eazy_E Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
I dated a girl for 8 months I met off tinder. She was pretty cute, nice flat stomach, blonde, but she was also kinda high strung and I'm more relaxed so that was an issue. Honestly, if it weren't for a couple things, she could have maybe been a long time girl, not just a good time girl. It ultimately didn't work, I was inexperienced in the ways, she felt I wasn't ready to settle down with just one girl, stuff happens.

I had to sift a lot of chaff to find that one kernel of wheat though. She goes, maybe we outta have a break, I'm thinking, yeah whatever, fuck you I'm tight laced now, I'll get your replacement in under a week. Yeah well, two years of chaff sifting later, still haven't found a kernel of wheat as good as she was, despite the problems she had.

I dunno what I'm trying to say, but in the three years that have gone from me first meeting her, to the breakup, to the dating life lately, the chaff has multiplied and the wheat is way down.
09-14-2019 11:08 AM
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Kid Twist Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Great thread.

Environment is everything.

Also, sometimes the grass is greener.

But you have to do it the right way.

Get your passport ready!
09-14-2019 11:27 AM
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SlickyBoy
SlickyBoy Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-14-2019 01:50 AM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  Every time someone posts a link to a story I like this, I ask why they didn't post the byline of the writer. The reason for this is because the same group of people write these stories and knowing who wrote it gives you insight to the writer's biases and agendas.

This story is no exception. It was written by Ashley Fetters, who is not just an ideologue, but a mindless one. Here is a link to all her stories at the Atlantic.
...

I used to write "trend stories" like this. They allow you to choose your own sources. She chose a source who seems to be inventing his own version of "modern history." As far as I know, paternity always mattered, hence the long-term use of words like "bastard" and "illegitimate."

So let's remember to post bylines. To me, they often tell more than the actual story. Because this story more or less said nothing.

I disagree. Of course the bio of the author matters - no surprises there. It's less of a surprise when Buzzfeed pushes crap like this, and while not a complete shocker, Atlantic once upon a time used to be a magazine with some degree of thought behind it versus feminist group think. There's even an article in her feed which highlights the horrors of an Atlantic article which dared question the value of letting women vote and the effect it might have on their ability to be proper mothers and wives. In an attempt to discredit the notion, she only wound up reinforcing what we all here already know - those earlier Atlantic writers were totally on target.

So sure, we can all say "Fuck Hollywood/themedia/Google/Facebook....etc. they're all a bunch of liberal asshats" but that's akin to not staying sharp about the details behind your adversaries. Even the military does area studies of countries and regions long ago explored. They have analysts constantly analyzing the adversarial actors. And yes, feminist agitators are indeed your adversary, even if you don't date them directly.

Donovan Sharpe does this all the time in his video dissections of articles put into much lesser publications with a much lower level of reach. It's both fun to listen to and watch because of his delivery and presentation skills as well as educational since he often spots something I miss.

I'm not expecting to find forum members who've been living in a cave the past five or six decades, just throwing this out there since the comments often inspire and educate me too. Especially yours, DBA!

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09-14-2019 02:44 PM
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loremipsum Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-14-2019 10:46 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  Tinder isn’t just a symptom. It’s an accelerant.

I personally have no objection to the concept. I used it myself to find a nice conservative lady. The value of it is when you have niche requirements and need to focus on them. In those instances it can be helpful to make sure you’re swimming in the right pool.


Also since when are these “dating apps”? Grindr was a HOOKUP app. Tinder as well....although the similarity brings home to roost Dr Jones’s comment that “straight people in America are expected to act like homosexuals”.

How does one find a conservative girl from Tinder?
09-14-2019 03:42 PM
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jasond Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
As Tinder and online dating become the norm, I wonder if every guy is destined to be a dating a girl -2 points below him in looks.
09-14-2019 05:14 PM
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SeaFM Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Tinder is fucking awful now. All I see are instagram thots, cam girl scammers and sugarbabies these days. And of course old overweight hambeasts.

Waste of time.
09-14-2019 06:06 PM
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-14-2019 06:06 PM)SeaFM Wrote:  Tinder is fucking awful now. All I see are instagram thots, cam girl scammers and sugarbabies these days. And of course old overweight hambeasts.

Waste of time.

Agreed. It WAS serving as a look-book of sorts for Instagram.
(This post was last modified: 09-14-2019 06:25 PM by Nulled.)
09-14-2019 06:15 PM
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Eazy_E Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
I mean I'm 6'4, I'm not hideous, pretty blue eyes, and mighty funny if you can get used to the fact that my sense of humor is really dry. I travel and in my home life, I read two or three books a week, and I have legitimate hobbies and interests.

I don't want to sound like a narcissistic prick, but I'm pretty close to perfect except for the fact that I'm not rich and even a real specimen like me has trouble in my home market of St Louis, MO. I mean for a girl to swipe left on me or let the conversation die, you gotta be diseased in the fucking head, but it happens all the time. I can look around, the world isn't drowning in 6'4 strapping lads like me, so I got no idea what these girls are thinking.
09-15-2019 12:52 PM
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questor70 Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-14-2019 10:46 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  Also since when are these “dating apps”?

We're talking about women here. Even women explicitly looking for hookups rarely cop to it and reach for the euphemism.
09-15-2019 01:20 PM
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Yatagan Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-15-2019 01:20 PM)questor70 Wrote:  
(09-14-2019 10:46 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  Also since when are these “dating apps”?

We're talking about women here. Even women explicitly looking for hookups rarely cop to it and reach for the euphemism.

Plenty of female profiles say "i'm not here for hookups" as plausible deniability in case anyone they know runs across them.
09-15-2019 04:55 PM
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NightVale Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
"I'm not here for hookups" is code for "I've hooked up on every other app so I'm going to delude myself I'm going to be different this time".
Almost all of them who post the line have never been on an actual date.
09-17-2019 07:58 AM
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Eazy_E Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
"I don't hook up" is 100% hamster for "I do anal on the first meeting." Proceed accordingly.
09-17-2019 09:32 AM
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TigOlBitties Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
I've never used Tinder, but I've looked at the women on there through friends' profiles. It is absolutely disgusting the quality of women on there. I can't imagine dating any of them, let alone fucking most of them. That's just asking for unnecessary drama in your life, and very likely STDs.

A coworker was using Tinder and came across a tranny. I told him it was a tranny, but he didn't believe me. I open the profile and sure enough, it was a tranny. Then you see all the fatties, insane SJWs/leftists, tattoos, piercings, thousand cock stares. Jesus Christ. I wish there was a way to tell them that you swiped left, to maybe give these disgusting broads a reality check. But then they'll just get messaged by endless simps telling them how amazing they are.

You'd have to be a complete retard to marry a woman from Tinder, and most online dating in general. Banging lots of women has even become overrated. Too many damn risks.
(This post was last modified: 09-17-2019 11:59 AM by TigOlBitties.)
09-17-2019 11:28 AM
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Days of Broken Arrows Offline
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-17-2019 11:28 AM)TigOlBitties Wrote:  I've never used Tinder, but I've looked at the women on there through friends' profiles. It is absolutely disgusting the quality of women on there. I can't imagine dating any of them, let alone fucking most of them. That's just asking for unnecessary drama in your life, and very likely STDs.

A coworker was using Tinder and came across a tranny. I told him it was a tranny, but he didn't believe me. I open the profile and sure enough, it was a tranny. Then you see all the fatties, insane SJWs/leftists, tattoos, piercings, thousand cock stares. Jesus Christ. I wish there was a way to tell them that you swiped left, to maybe give these disgusting broads a reality check. But then they'll just get messaged by endless simps telling them how amazing they are.

You'd have to be a complete retard to marry a woman from Tinder, and most online dating in general. Banging lots of women has even become overrated. Too many damn risks.

Tinder and OKCupid seem to be bottom of the barrel. If you're looking for classier broads (hehe), try out Match.com. You have to pay to be on there, so right off the bat that raises the bar on the quality of people.

You're unlikely to find tattoos or odd-colored hair on Match.com. Of course, the other side of the coin is that you'll find women divorced from successful ex-husbands who then have a very high lifestyle/career expectations for the men they meet. But not always. I know a female lawyer who owns a massive house who ended up with...a guitar repair tech. They seem happy.

I also have a friend who also had luck with E-Harmony. This is someone who stayed single through about age 47 and was definitely not good with women. But he managed to find a genuinely nice wife who seemed to me to be way above the grade he'd have found on other dating services.
(This post was last modified: 09-17-2019 01:25 PM by Days of Broken Arrows.)
09-17-2019 01:24 PM
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-17-2019 07:58 AM)NightVale Wrote:  "I'm not here for hookups" is code for "I've hooked up on every other app so I'm going to delude myself I'm going to be different this time".
Almost all of them who post the line have never been on an actual date.
I agree those with that line tend to be the easiest to bed too, it's rare that you don't bed a girl with that line and if you don't, you fucked up with an open goal.
09-17-2019 01:38 PM
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RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-15-2019 01:20 PM)questor70 Wrote:  
(09-14-2019 10:46 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  Also since when are these “dating apps”?

We're talking about women here. Even women explicitly looking for hookups rarely cop to it and reach for the euphemism.

Commonly heard
"I used to date that guy"
"We went on a few dates"
"We dated for a while"

Translation = we banged one to multiple times in a non committed relationship

If they were an actual couple the line is:
I broke up with him, or he broke up with me. If that line is followed by "he is a loser/has small genitalia" that means that he definitely broke up with her and she wasn't happy about it and he probably suffers from neither condition.

If you hear "went out separate ways/didn't work out" means that they didn't actually break up, one of them got or had a girlfriend or boyfriend and there was cheating or overlap that needed to be shut down before they got caught.

Plausible deniability/saving face is the game here.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
09-17-2019 01:50 PM
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Alpone Offline
Woodpecker
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Posts: 252
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Post: #23
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Tinder allows an average woman to date up and locks an above average man into dating down - except for the top 5% of men who are extremely photogenic. The focus on pictures rather than full profiles also appeals to women's worst traits of superficiality and hypergamy. The focus on same night hookups appeals to thirsty dudes who quickly lower their standards to bang anything to satisfy an itch. Things go down the drain from there.

I don't use Tinder but I have used other dating sites some members have recommended here. I've had some very good dates off of these sites with some girls who looked *better* than their pictures. In one case I got reversed cat fished by a girl who didn't want unwanted attention and downplayed her looks in all her photos. Her profile was funny so I took a chance - on the night of the date, in walks a pre-wall Charles Theron look-alike who was also pretty smart. We had a great date and she made some disparaging comments about Tinder & Bumble and the types of guys on there.

I think for higher quality women (not just in looks but character and demeanor), Tinder is developing a stigma. Just like a lot of us say things like "I'd never seriously date/marry someone I met on Tinder", a lot of upper-tier women are beginning to say the same as well.

Tinder is becoming the gay bathhouse of dating apps.
09-17-2019 02:43 PM
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Mikeyd03 Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 46
Joined: Feb 2018
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Post: #24
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
Met the girl who redpilled me off tinder.

Lasted about 6 months, but I caught feelings quick. Long story short chick was an alcoholic. Lost her car from a dui...dumped me the week she got it back. Being a genuine, bluepilled guy I couldn't put two and two together. Lesson learned.

This is the type of woman you find on tinder. Low quality.

On top of that you risk your self esteem. You can be in shape, educated, and even have a decent job...no matter.

The top tier guys in a 150 mile radius are on tap for the 5-7's to get pumped and dumped. Online dating is largely a waste of time for the average man...a net loss.
Sad, but true.
09-17-2019 05:54 PM
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Checkmat Offline
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Posts: 1,162
Joined: Oct 2012
Reputation: 28
Post: #25
RE: Tinder turns 5, and dating circles the drain....
(09-15-2019 01:20 PM)questor70 Wrote:  
(09-14-2019 10:46 AM)Easy_C Wrote:  Also since when are these “dating apps”?

We're talking about women here. Even women explicitly looking for hookups rarely cop to it and reach for the euphemism.

On Tinder, I invited a 20 year old girl to my apartment for a first date. She balked and said, "Uh do you usually invite people to your apartment for a first date?"
I forget what I responded with. And she said, "well thanks but no thanks, I'm looking for a boyfriend not a hookup"

I said, "I'm looking for a girlfriend. But it's hard to tell if we will get along if we don't meet and spend some time together. I can tell you've been hurt before, and I understand that you're hesitant to put yourself out there again."

After some time she responded with "Ok let's do movie and ice cream at your place. You pick the movie I'll pick the ice cream."

Picked her up at her house and consummated with non-RVF approved premarital activities within 60 minutes. All she needed was a bullshit thin veil of plausibility. Ridiculous...

"There's no such thing as different but equal." -Dante Nero
09-17-2019 06:13 PM
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