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Recovering from a breakup
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Sensei Creation Offline
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Post: #1
Recovering from a breakup
Yo,

I broke up with my LTR about a month ago. Since then I've been hitting the gym, hanging out with friends, trying new shit and doubling down at my job and gaming other girls. It's not helping. I still think about her all the time. Literally all the time.

I managed to bag a notch the other day but it didn't make me feel better. It just made me miss my ex even more. Out of sheer habit, I even accidentally called her by my ex's name whilst in bed with her lol.

Look, I'm not talking about a regular breakup here. I've had plenty of those and I usually just move on, no problem. But I really loved my ex. We were together for over 3 years, in my mind she was both my girl and my best friend and I was sure I was going to marry her at some point. Now that she's gone I feel lost and empty inside.

To those of you who know what i'm going through, what are some of the things that helped you get over this kind of heartbreak ?
09-24-2019 09:06 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 09:06 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  Look, I'm not talking about a regular breakup here. I've had plenty of those and I usually just move on, no problem. But I really loved my ex. We were together for over 3 years, in my mind she was both my girl and my best friend and I was sure I was going to marry her at some point.

There it is again: the 3 years hard limit for LTRs.

At which point did you expect to marry her?

Why didn't you knock her up?

Quote:To those of you who know what i'm going through, what are some of the things that helped you get over this kind of heartbreak ?

Nothing. Just sitting through it and waiting until it fades. It's even scientifically proven that men never recover from it.
09-24-2019 09:20 AM
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NoMoreTO Offline
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RE: Recovering from a breakup
I assume if you broke up with her the relationship is flawed in some way that you can not go forward.

If this is the case then you just have to suck it up, it's your decision after all. She will move on at some point, or you will.

It takes time.

“Where the danger is, so grows the saving element.” ~ German poet Hoelderlin
09-24-2019 09:27 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 09:27 AM)NoMoreTO Wrote:  I assume if you broke up with her the relationship is flawed in some way that you can not go forward.

Let me guess: She cheated?
09-24-2019 09:30 AM
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Sensei Creation Offline
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RE: Recovering from a breakup
At which point did you expect to marry her?

I'm 26. I wanted to do it once I hit 30. She's 32.

Why didn't you knock her up ?

Actually I did. Albeit by accident. We both agreed that it would be better if she aborted as it just wasn't the right time. But I had told her that she had the last call. Truth be told, at the time, had she decided to keep it i would have been fine with it. Obviously now, in hindsight, that would have made things much worse, during the breakup she was totally cold and showed me a side of her that I had never seen before. Mind you this is someone I have been in daily contact with for 3+ years. So that's saying something. Its definitely been a learning experience.

I assume if you broke up with her the relationship is flawed in some way that you can not go forward.

Sorry my OP wasn't clear. She broke up with me. I'll spare you the specifics, but the overwhelming theme in her reasons were neglect. I made mistakes in the relationship that I will admit to. Nothing major, just wanting space away from her from time to time. And a few arguments she had cited. Nothing major just regular couple stuff. I wanted to fix things but she was headstrong.

Her biological clock is ticking, her friends are starting to get married and have kids and I think she was unsure if I was the one she wanted to commit to. The reality is, I am certain that she wants to see if she can do better. Which hurts and has temporarily crushed my confidence.

Let me guess: She cheated?

No. I mean you can never be 100% sure. But I'm positvely certain she did not cheat during our relationship.
09-24-2019 10:04 AM
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Latan Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Sensei, I could give you the common advice : bang more girls, work on your passions, develop new hobbies, etc.
Yes, it helps...but let's be honest, you won't be able to forget about her just like that.

From my point of view, Time will be the first key to help you let go.
Let time heal this wound, know that it'll slowly get better and better, even if you continue thinking about her.


The second key, which I learned very recently, is to understand what her role has been in your live, her "teacher" role.
Let me develop.

I believe Life is a Learning Place, where multiple teachers will come to you, each to teach you something very specific.
If you didn't learn a lesson, a new teacher will appear, but with the exact same lesson for you to learn.
Thus creating a cycle of "I have the impression to always attract the same people in my life".

And Yes, they are the same people.
Don't be angry about this, ask yourself what you should have learned and didn't; what you need to assimilate, in order to grow.
Once you'll have integrated this, you'll see relations and breakup in a very different light.

I'll take myself as an example : it took me 7 years, to stop thinking about a specific girl.
I was always thinking about what she did to me, how heartless it was, that I was a victim of this situation, that I didn't deserve this, blablabla.
Then, while I was under a tree, thinking about my life, it hit me : she had been placed in my life to teach me something.
What was it? Did I learn my lesson?
This was the key.

I then understood why she had been placed there, what I learned, how it'll impact my life.
I even thanked her for teaching me this (even if she didn't intent to, and wasn't aware she was a teacher for me).

And just like that, she was out of my mind.

Hope this helps.
09-24-2019 10:17 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #7
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 10:04 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  At which point did you expect to marry her?

I'm 26. I wanted to do it once I hit 30. She's 32.

This is not how marriage works, boy.

Quote:Why didn't you knock her up ?

Actually I did. Albeit by accident. We both agreed that it would be better if she aborted as it just wasn't the right time. But I had told her that she had the last call. Truth be told, at the time, had she decided to keep it i would have been fine with it.

There is never the "right time" to have children. They just happen and you deal with it.

Of course, she is emotionally broken now killing her own offspring, which is the result of unlimited fornication.

Also you never tell a woman it's her decision. You are the man, you make the decisions!

Quote:Obviously now, in hindsight, that would have made things much worse, during the breakup she was totally cold and showed me a side of her that I had never seen before. Mind you this is someone I have been in daily contact with for 3+ years. So that's saying something.

Yes, it's saying that you have been too young, too uncommitted and from a biological perspective too impotent to be in an LTR with her past the hard limit of 3 years for a casual sex relationship. They didn't tell you that, right?

Quote:Her biological clock is ticking, her friends are starting to get married and have kids and I think she was unsure if I was the one she wanted to commit to. The reality is, I am certain that she wants to see if she can do better. Which hurts and has temporarily crushed my confidence.

I think she was already pretty sure that you are not her future husband. And honestly she didn't have any more time to lose with you at age 32. You can bet she is now looking for a 40+ guy who has his shit together.
09-24-2019 10:36 AM
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questor70 Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 10:17 AM)Latan Wrote:  her role has been in your live, her "teacher" role.

Time you spend with someone feels like an investment. When it's over you want to feel like it wasn't a total waste. Thinking of it as a learning period is one way to do that. Also note that this should work BOTH ways. She teaches you and you teach her. Of course, more often than not the woman doesn't learn. That kind of thing bothers me more than the breakup itself. But that in turn is part of the teaching in the sense of trying to avoid damaged goods.
09-24-2019 10:42 AM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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RE: Recovering from a breakup
Sadly the only way to get over her is to find someone or something to fill that void. Same boat as you, 3 years with somebody (many people on here might remember my pathetic story) she cheated on me, destroyed my heart. Found a passion that took my mind off her (around 2 months after) Finally met somebody who took away all the pain.

However maybe we aren’t the same, I don’t miss these women I simply have an overwhelming feeling of regret, embarrassment, failure, and time wasted.

I never think of the good times I had with a woman unless I imagine her doing those things with another man. It makes me VERY angry and depressed in the moment but I also feel I 100% get over these women in time.

Maybe horrible advice but this is what works for me. I achieve so many goals, get In the best shape, look my best after a break up.
09-24-2019 10:56 AM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Recovering from a breakup
It hurts right now. A month or two from now it’ll hurt less. Half a year it’ll hurt even less, and then so on. You’ll mature and get better with age, and when you have tight young girl a few years your junior you’ll wonder what you were thinking dating an older woman
09-24-2019 11:08 AM
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Sensei Creation Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Thanks for all the advice. I don't hate her or anything like that. She made the decision that she believed would make her happy, you can't hate anyone for that. Somedays I'm upset at the coldness she portrayed but again, I know she thought it was needed in order to sever the ties and make it easier to move on for both of us.

I know there's others out there. I don't have oneitis. When I met her I thought she was attractive and funny but so were the other two girls I was messing with at the time. What we had became special, not because we have some fairy tale unique bond but because of the time and the memories that we both invested.

I know that if I go out there and do 500 day game approaches, before New year's I will stumble upon another girl who share's a similar level of attractiveness and chemistry that I can build with. I met my ex daygaming. I've done it before so I know I can do it again.

Yet part of me doesn't want to do it because that would mean all of our moments and memories, all of the little ticks and habits about someone that you grow fond off, ultimately don't mean anything now.

I think that's the hardest part to accept. You spend three years with someone building what you think is a strong foundation and then out of nowhere it crumbles to dust and she's gone. Sure, you can pick out a few life lessons from the ruins but that doesn't change the fact that your still standing amongst the ruins.

Idk guys, somedays I feel like I can't afford to invest in another LTR. What's the point ?, other days I feel like the quicker I replace her with another blue eyed blonde the faster I'm going to heal.
09-24-2019 11:54 AM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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Post: #12
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 10:04 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  At which point did you expect to marry her?

I'm 26. I wanted to do it once I hit 30. She's 32.

Why didn't you knock her up ?

Actually I did. Albeit by accident. We both agreed that it would be better if she aborted as it just wasn't the right time. But I had told her that she had the last call. Truth be told, at the time, had she decided to keep it i would have been fine with it. Obviously now, in hindsight, that would have made things much worse, during the breakup she was totally cold and showed me a side of her that I had never seen before. Mind you this is someone I have been in daily contact with for 3+ years. So that's saying something. Its definitely been a learning experience.

Before I get into my own personal experience, I hope you reflect on your decision to support your ex having an abortion. You were (and still are) young, and I understand that we are all victims of this degenerate culture, but you are here, which means at the very least, you have some inkling of red-pill mentality. Making and supporting your now ex on having an abortion was the worst thing you did in this whole relationship. You wonder why your ex just "acted different" as you were breaking up. Well, look no further. She most likely resents you for it, especially if she is in her 30s and her womb is not as fertile as it used to be... Hopefully this is a lesson for you and you don't repeat this mistake.

My worst breakup was with my first ex. We were together for 5 years before she broke it off and ran away with another Man across the country. This took place 7 years ago, but at the time of the breakup, i was heartbroken, to the point of depression. This lasted for a good 6 months before I finally picked myself up and started feeling better.

My advice would be to stop putting women on a pedestal. Easiest way to do this is to become religions (christian) and look up to God and follow his will. You can do this without religion like I did all those years back when I was a non-believer, but I can guarantee it will take you much longer to get over her.

Re-evaluate all of your views on relationships and women. Get your own life together and only go after a woman once you are ready to marry and have children. You have seen the consequence of "Dating" and the horrors it entails... best not to repeat this story again.
(This post was last modified: 09-24-2019 12:47 PM by Augustus_Principe.)
09-24-2019 12:44 PM
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Latan Offline
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Post: #13
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 11:54 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  I think that's the hardest part to accept. You spend three years with someone building what you think is a strong foundation and then out of nowhere it crumbles to dust and she's gone. Sure, you can pick out a few life lessons from the ruins but that doesn't change the fact that your still standing amongst the ruins.

Idk guys, somedays I feel like I can't afford to invest in another LTR. What's the point ?, other days I feel like the quicker I replace her with another blue eyed blonde the faster I'm going to heal.

My 3 cents on this :
We are conditionned by society to point towards "end goals" in life.
- "I'll have made it, when I'll have a 6 figure salary".
- "I'll have made it, when I'll have 3 kids".
- "I'll have made it, when I'll have traveled to 20+ countries".
- "I'll have made it, when I'll talk 5 different languages".
- "I'll have made it, when I'll be in a commited relationship for 15+ years".

I don't think this is a mentally healthy way to approach life, as it places your focus on the end of the road, not the road itself.
This only leads to stress, frustration and unhappiness; Even If we "make it" one day.
Enjoying the path is, from my point of view, the "goal" of life.


To take you for example, your sentence seems to be "I'll have made it, when I'll be married, with multiple kids".
Your road towards this end goal doesn't seem to bring you happiness, as you see it as an investment, which can be lost if you don't "make it".
It also brings you quite a lot of stress, as you worry about losing your investment.

Don't try to "make it", friend.
Look for your path of happiness.
Search what makes you enjoy your everyday life, focus on it.
Death is at the end of the road anyway, no need to rush there.

(This post was last modified: 09-24-2019 12:52 PM by Latan.)
09-24-2019 12:48 PM
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questor70 Offline
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RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 11:54 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  somedays I feel like I can't afford to invest in another LTR. What's the point ?

It's really important to come to terms with the impermanence of all things in life. Seeking out iron-clad commitment for its own sake is putting the cart before the horse. What you really want is a quality relationship. Its longevity should be a natural outgrowth of that.

Women (outside of carousel riders) are the ones who tend to hold out commitment as priority #1 and that's why they wind up marrying guys just because they put a ring on it when they don't tick all of the other boxes.
09-24-2019 01:49 PM
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ThriceLazarus Offline
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Post: #15
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Settlers of Latan and Questor are right.

As the pop-tart sings, “His fingers in my hair, nothing lasts forever.”

Tragically, everything ends. This life, this world, it is a bridge - pass over it and build no house upon it. That was Yeshua, a far greater poet.

Personally, I still mourn for my wife gone. I mourn for what was done to her, how I failed her, how I let her kill me. Bit by bit. She’s still out there, somewhere, in form but the woman I loved - the Spirit of her - is no more. If she was ever there to begin with...

The soil has been desolate for nearly a year now, thick with ice, cold and barren. Yet, something grows, something struggles to break through, to reach out once more. Just as that woman is gone, the man who loved her is gone as well. Something new, something different.

One must needs cut away the deadwood, such that new growth may take.
(This post was last modified: 09-26-2019 07:58 PM by ThriceLazarus.)
09-26-2019 07:41 PM
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Sensei Creation Offline
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Post: #16
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Lovely poetry. Stay stong man. I loved my ex deeply but she was not my wife, I can only imagine what I would be feeling had we broken up after actually been married.

Although I am still devastated and think about her every day, I'm starting to acknowledge all of the new found free time I have to focus on myself and work on my goals in life. 75% of me want her back but I am starting to move on. I estimate that it will take me about 3 to 6 months before that moves to less than 50%.

Just a quick point on the abortion I did not push her to abort our baby. She feel pregnant by accident and we sat down as two adults and made the decision together. Although I did tell her that she had the final say and that I would be more than happy to have a child with her. I meant it. That is how I felt at that moment in time.

I think someone on here said I was supposed to make the decision because I am the man. I doubt you have been in this situation.

It is a deeply sensitive issue that requires some tact and delicacy to navigate. You can't just go in playing Alpha man tell a pregant woman what to do in regards to her child and others who have been in this situation I'm sure can attest to what I'm saying.
09-27-2019 04:25 AM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-27-2019 04:25 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  Just a quick point on the abortion I did not push her to abort our baby. She feel pregnant by accident and we sat down as two adults and made the decision together. Although I did tell her that she had the final say and that I would be more than happy to have a child with her. I meant it. That is how I felt at that moment in time.

I think someone on here said I was supposed to make the decision because I am the man. I doubt you have been in this situation.

It is a deeply sensitive issue that requires some tact and delicacy to navigate. You can't just go in playing Alpha man tell a pregant woman what to do in regards to her child and others who have been in this situation I'm sure can attest to what I'm saying.

I recently learned more about my ability to morally lead women. Even those who aren't engaged with me like to follow, when I show affection with the intention to do good. I think this ability is essential for having a lasting relationship. Affection alone isn't enough and male submission to her lead is counterproductive - which should be common knowledge on this forum.

Your abortion case I would have handled much differently, as it crosses hard boundaries on my moral framework. My stance on abortion is non-negotiable and when a woman made such a decision I would have ended it right there - regardless if it's a relationship, friendship or acquaintance.

While I have my issues with showing sexual dominance ("playing alpha man"), I can be a man telling a woman what I think is right and wrong without a doubt, I did it on many occasions with lasting effects.
09-27-2019 04:54 AM
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Post: #18
RE: Recovering from a breakup
I understand what you saying. I agree with your point regarding relationship dynamics. Yes, it is healthy for the man to take the lead. But ultimately, like all rules, there is a time and a place for nuance.

In the case of an abortion, I would encourage you to look beyond your ideological view points and place yourself in the shoes of your hypothetical partner.

Someone who, regardless of which path she chooses, is going to go through a potentially life changing experience.

For them, it is not just mentally, but physically stressful as too.

Ultimately my views on abortion are not as strong as yours. I'm easy either way. But even if they were, I could not contemplate ending a relationship and leaving a women to go through an abortion on her own.

Unless your some sort of psychopath, I dont think you would either. Which is way I am sure you have not actually been through this situation because it's one thing to come with ultimative statements
09-27-2019 05:53 AM
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Post: #19
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Here but it's another to actually action them in real life
09-27-2019 05:53 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #20
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-27-2019 05:53 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  I understand what you saying. I agree with your point regarding relationship dynamics. Yes, it is healthy for the man to take the lead. But ultimately, like all rules, there is a time and a place for nuance.

In the case of an abortion, I would encourage you to look beyond your ideological view points and place yourself in the shoes of your hypothetical partner.

Someone who, regardless of which path she chooses, is going to go through a potentially life changing experience.

For them, it is not just mentally, but physically stressful as too.

Ultimately my views on abortion are not as strong as yours. I'm easy either way. But even if they were, I could not contemplate ending a relationship and leaving a women to go through an abortion on her own.

Unless your some sort of psychopath, I dont think you would either. Which is way I am sure you have not actually been through this situation because it's one thing to come with ultimative statements

I know that you are hurt and what you are going through, but you can stop the hamstering around justifying abortion, because I won't change my mind on it.

I'm not a psychopath for objecting killing innocent unborn life and I don't see this as an "ideological" viewpoint. I also reserve my right to not surround myself with feminists and other abortion-apologists, women who've done it ("gone through it") and people who've performed the procedure. Should I ever end up in a situation where a woman chooses to kill my offspring legally, she is gone immediately, the I-never-knew-her-gone.
09-27-2019 06:24 AM
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Post: #21
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-27-2019 05:53 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  I understand what you saying. I agree with your point regarding relationship dynamics. Yes, it is healthy for the man to take the lead. But ultimately, like all rules, there is a time and a place for nuance.

In the case of an abortion, I would encourage you to look beyond your ideological view points and place yourself in the shoes of your hypothetical partner.

Someone who, regardless of which path she chooses, is going to go through a potentially life changing experience.

For them, it is not just mentally, but physically stressful as too.

Ultimately my views on abortion are not as strong as yours. I'm easy either way. But even if they were, I could not contemplate ending a relationship and leaving a women to go through an abortion on her own.

Unless your some sort of psychopath, I dont think you would either. Which is way I am sure you have not actually been through this situation because it's one thing to come with ultimative statements


As a Catholic, the decision would've been extremely simple for me. No abortion. I'm not trying to come off as some perfectly Pious person here, but having and practicing a set of Moral Standards makes "Hard" decisions like this much easier than you think. If you don't have "strong feelings" towards matters like this, perhaps it's time for you for some introspection?

The Irony of this all is that if you would've pressed her to keep the child, you two would most likely still be together. It has nothing to do with "being alpha". You can tell yourself the line about "well I did say that she COULD keep it if she wants and I would be there" to help yourself sleep at night,but at the end of the day, you had a 50%(less than that actually) say in the matter. You let her have the illusion of "choice" and Game 101 would've already let you know that if you give a woman the illusion of choice, they will take the path of least resistance. First mistake was giving her all the leverage in that decision, and you appearing as a mere supporter. You didn't even stake your 50% claim in the matter(rightfully it should've been your decision completely). You fell for the feminist trap of letting women have a choice, because hey, that's the "right thing to do" I dont know all the details of your relationship, but I would be willing to bet that this "decision" that she took was in her mind during the breakup. Women WANT a man to tell them when they're about to do something stupid, this was one of those times.

We're all victims of this secular hellhole of a culture we're in, which is why im not trying to come off too hard on you. You're a victim, like we all were at some point in time, but I'm trying to make you see a bigger issue here(your loose set of morals), and hopefully you have learned what not to do in your next relationship. I really do hope the best for you and that you move on from all of this someday and find the right girl for you. But first, you truly have to think about all the decisions and actions that you took in the past. We're all on a path to become better men, and while this will be a somber time for you, you will come out more wise.
(This post was last modified: 09-27-2019 08:16 AM by Augustus_Principe.)
09-27-2019 08:15 AM
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ThriceLazarus Offline
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Post: #22
RE: Recovering from a breakup
He’s right though, you can’t know what that situation is like until you experience it.

Personally I’m with Dave Chapelle on this. Whatever this wacky world decides there needs be consistency! “If she can kill’em I should be able to at least abandon’em!”

That’s for a different thread.

Now, regarding recovering from break-ups, I’ll attempt to put-away the purple prose and shore up some strategy:

- It would be a good idea to audit the entire experience and level it out. By that I mean, when I cut her out of my life I was howling with grief, raging, sobbing. So, for every slight, every injustice, I blunted that blade by reframing my perception to focus on what I had done wrong. How I controlled the situation to become that way. At first it was petty, “You knew she was a whore, that’s where you fucked up! You stupid fucking idiot!” Similarly so, when awash with waves of loss, of missing her in my bones, I would be dismissive, “She was just a whore, who cares, you can’t throw a stone in this horrible City of Devils without skipping it off three.”

It took about 3 months before things became softer, more subtle and nuanced. Then I could start to see all the ways I truly failed her, and her luster slowly began to fade. I could stand against the passing thought of her in work, or training, without dying then and there. Don’t get me wrong, I still love her, I still miss her, I still... Yet now I am wiser, kinder, more understanding, more honest, more blunt, more tactful, more assertive. As you level out your emotions (or lack there of, for catatonia and anhedonia are veils for deeper wounds) you will find a fullness in your heart to fill that void. This is how I learned the lessons I needed to, as Latan mentioned above. It is a good method, a Daoist method, a Buddhist method, this mental Judo. Ultimately, suffering is the result of attachment or aversion. So you must let go and dive in.

- With regards to training, and this has been mentioned above, find something and do it and give everything of yourself to it. In this time you must grow - yes, there is deadwood, and it will rot away, but without planting Good seeds within you there will only be muck and mire. What do I mean: of course, in His way, her and I parted ways just as I began to fulfill a childhood dream. To know Kung Fu. It was the holidays, those Holy Days are always hard for me, and this year was the worst. I could have lost myself in my cups, or hemp, or hydrocodone. Instead I trained for 8 hours a day - every minute my time was mine was devoted to something greater than me. So seek. Ask. It may be something you volunteer for, something you train for, something you create.

- Surrender. When the feelings come, feel them fully. Sink into them, only then can they wash over you. And when you turn your Eye to see it’s path there will be nothing, only You will remain. More poetry, but a good one.

There is another side to this coin. We are all straw dogs under Heaven - even the greatest of us burn up like effigies before Him. We all return to dust. Your Story is yours, yet your purpose was decided long ago, when this World was formed and all things were set in their place. What happened was ordained, a consequence of swirling photons settling into their places billions of years ago. Whatever is to come is already the past of some far distant future. So, starve your Ego and feed your Soul.

I do not believe that men cannot recover from a breakup - as a man who spent a decade studying the Multiverse and its language I am decidedly scientifically literate and know that the vast majority of research that comes from from the ‘soft-sciences’ (I literally thought to spit) well it’s all bullshit.

What I mean to say is, yes, if you try to remain who you are you will never recover. But Men are different from women - women are filled, men emanate. So die if you must, let every piece of you that is not Right fall away. And you will be a new man, a better man, than you ever were before.
09-27-2019 08:54 AM
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Sensei Creation Offline
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Post: #23
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Just a quick update I was out daygaming this Saturday and met someone. Called her up that evening, spent an hour on the phone and we went out for Sunday brunch the following day. I'm liking her a lot.

Not saying she's going to be my next LTR or anything like that but it did make me feel a bit better because I'm finding her little more attractive than my ex was, plus she's around my age and has a similar sense of humour. So that was cool. Felt good when I got home. Still miss my ex though

Augustus and wwft, I've seen your posts, I'll respond in a little bit.
09-30-2019 12:52 AM
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Winston Wolfe Offline
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Post: #24
RE: Recovering from a breakup
(09-24-2019 09:06 AM)Sensei Creation Wrote:  Yo,

I broke up with my LTR about a month ago. Since then I've been hitting the gym, hanging out with friends, trying new shit and doubling down at my job and gaming other girls. It's not helping. I still think about her all the time. Literally all the time.

I managed to bag a notch the other day but it didn't make me feel better. It just made me miss my ex even more. Out of sheer habit, I even accidentally called her by my ex's name whilst in bed with her lol.

Look, I'm not talking about a regular breakup here. I've had plenty of those and I usually just move on, no problem. But I really loved my ex. We were together for over 3 years, in my mind she was both my girl and my best friend and I was sure I was going to marry her at some point. Now that she's gone I feel lost and empty inside.

To those of you who know what i'm going through, what are some of the things that helped you get over this kind of heartbreak ?


I'm not going to go into your specific situation, as others are doing that already. In a way it doesn't even really matter, because what you are dealing with is heartbreak. This stuff is real.

Just know that it will get better, and the only way it will get better is time. No shortcuts.

Over time, this mental wound will turn into a scar - and much like a physical scar, at some point it won't hurt anymore but it will always remain part of you.

Don't ignore the fact that you currently feel hurt and lost and lonely and pessimistic and bitter. Go through it one day at a time, and embrace it.

Then one day, as you go to bed at night, you'll suddenly realize "hey, I haven't even thought of her today".

These things eb and flow. I am currently 6+ months into being truly heartbroken, and some days I still spiral into thinking about what could have been. But most days I don't even think about it anymore.

Just keep reminding yourself that most days will some day become almost all days, and at some point you will look back at your old photos and the good times you have had with a smile, and realize it wasn't meant to be.
(This post was last modified: 09-30-2019 02:19 AM by Winston Wolfe.)
09-30-2019 02:17 AM
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Post: #25
RE: Recovering from a breakup
Meet more girls
10-01-2019 12:50 PM
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