I'm Touring The United States! Starting in June, I'm conducting private events in 23 American cities. Click here for full details.

Post Reply 
General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Author Message
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #26
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Why would I commit to a girl before she goes off the Spain, this was planned with her school 2 years in advanced. She’s been the ideal women (based on this forum’s taste) so I kept her around but judging from the answers even the best women will hoe out overseas. That is why I asked for more experienced advice and I’m glad for the answers I received
09-28-2019 03:16 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
PapayaTapper Away
Crow
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 5,081
Joined: Mar 2014
Reputation: 151
Post: #27
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-28-2019 03:10 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  And we see each other every day. I’m not hoping not wishing for a relationship when she gets back but I don’t want to feel that coldness neither. She’s a valuable friend.
All I’m asking is how to keep that friendship alive to where we could possibly make it more.

If you want "more" but she's not attracted to you (as in wanting more... right now) then youre not her friend...youre just another choade in her inventory of orbiters. This is game 101





(09-28-2019 03:10 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:   I know female nature better than most, but I’m by no means a pro. That is why I asked the people of this forum.

^Delusional.... You obviously know less than you think

Edit: Im not trying to be overly harsh but you need a slap in the face else youre going to get kicked in the ball sack...metaphorically

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 09-28-2019 03:42 PM by PapayaTapper.)
09-28-2019 03:33 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 4 users Like PapayaTapper's post:
louiebeans, BBinger, loremipsum, Leonard D Neubache
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #28
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Who said she didn’t want more? I said it’s stupid to commit if she’s going to Spain. I don’t see how this makes me delusional(but I bet that fits the definition) Ofcourse she wanted a relationship but I told her it’s dumb to do that now, that it wasn’t the best time to focus on that.
09-28-2019 03:41 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
PapayaTapper Away
Crow
*****
Gold Member

Posts: 5,081
Joined: Mar 2014
Reputation: 151
Post: #29
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-28-2019 03:41 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Who said she didn’t want more? I said it’s stupid to commit if she’s going to Spain. I don’t see how this makes me delusional(but I bet that fits the definition) Ofcourse she wanted a relationship but I told her it’s dumb to do that now, that it wasn’t the best time to focus on that.

Stupid for you to commit

Stupid for you to let her not commit

Love and War

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
09-28-2019 03:45 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes PapayaTapper's post:
BBinger
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #30
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Thanks for the advice. You weren’t overly harsh, I’ve seen way worse on this forum even from you. I’ll admit I’m not as good with women as I hoped that’s why I kinda fought for the game section to stay alive.
(This post was last modified: 09-28-2019 03:51 PM by Donfitz007.)
09-28-2019 03:47 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Donfitz007's post:
PapayaTapper
Leonard D Neubache Offline
Owl
******
Gold Member

Posts: 11,951
Joined: Mar 2016
Reputation: 210
Post: #31
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
For the li'l players into the future, you cannot escalate a relationship from "fuckbuddies" to "committed" unless she's utterly retarded for you, seeing nobody else and hanging on the hope you decide to choose her over male hypergamy.

Imagine it from the girl's perspective. You fuckbuddy tells you he wants to "get serious" or whatever euphemism he chooses to use.

This is like taking your frame and tossing it into the center of the sun.

If she were gagagoogoo for you then all you would have to do is snap your fingers and say "forget Spain, stick around, dollface" and she'd drop her plans like a hot rock. I dare not ask what the realities of this relationship dynamic are. I very much doubt it's a simple sex for sex trade because such arrangements are unicorn-level rare.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
(This post was last modified: 09-28-2019 10:27 PM by Leonard D Neubache.)
09-28-2019 10:26 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Leonard D Neubache's post:
louiebeans, wwtl
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #32
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I WANT her to go to Spain, It was a dream opportunity for her and it would be horrible for me to take that from her.
09-28-2019 10:44 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
louiebeans Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 249
Joined: Jan 2018
Reputation: 2
Post: #33
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
These guys are just tellin' it like it is, Don.

Whats your plan while she is gone? Will you date and fuck other girls? Go do some travel of your own?

Don't take this the wrong way but girls aren't attracted to guys can't take control of the situation. They want to follow your lead. If Spain is her dream vacation, you could just wait until you have the time and take her there. Instead she gets to go party, have fun, and fuck guys in a foreign country where no one knows her.

Unless you plan on marrying her when she comes back, move one and find a girl who actually wants to be with you.

(04-21-2014 04:47 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  On the cool, she probably had at least one too many tortiillas, but the tetas was mas gorda, comprenede?
09-28-2019 11:00 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes louiebeans's post:
Leonard D Neubache
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #34
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
It's a foreign exchange program and an internship not a vacation. I appreciate the help and I understand, but this is me taking control. I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back.
09-28-2019 11:16 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Dkby Offline
Sparrow

Posts: 110
Joined: Mar 2013
Reputation: 5
Post: #35
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-28-2019 11:16 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  It's a foreign exchange program and an internship not a vacation. I appreciate the help and I understand, but this is me taking control. I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back.
You have been already told numerous times by practically every single poster in this thread that you can have both of those things. You are trying to convince us that we are all wrong. Well, if that is the case, the only solution is to follow whatever plan you have and then report back in 4 months with your results.
09-29-2019 02:56 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Dkby's post:
Leonard D Neubache
Leonard D Neubache Offline
Owl
******
Gold Member

Posts: 11,951
Joined: Mar 2016
Reputation: 210
Post: #36
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-28-2019 11:16 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  It's a foreign exchange program and an internship not a vacation. I appreciate the help and I understand, but this is me taking control. I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back.

[Image: tenor.gif]

There is no such thing as stagnant female friendship being a precursor to a worthwhile relationship.

There is no such thing as stagnant female friendship being a precursor to a worthwhile relationship.

There is no such thing as stagnant female friendship being a precursor to a worthwhile relationship.

You are either in a state of constant escalation until you're married with kids or it's dead.

You are either in a state of constant escalation until you're married with kids or it's dead.

You are either in a state of constant escalation until you're married with kids or it's dead.


High level players, check me on this, please. Am I too old and jaded or are these universal truths baked into the cosmos itself?!

Meanwhile, OP. Give us an example of a situation where a man's affections being "put on hold" were a precursor to a mutually beneficial relationship. I'm chasing down 40 and I can't think of a single one.

Not. One.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
(This post was last modified: 09-29-2019 04:30 AM by Leonard D Neubache.)
09-29-2019 04:27 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 5 users Like Leonard D Neubache's post:
PapayaTapper, wwtl, louiebeans, Kungfu, Basil II
loremipsum Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 644
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation: 3
Post: #37
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
If there is a nuclear redflag that a good hearted man could miss it's solo travel/exchange years.

Even if it's not a vacation but studying abroad, please.
She's gonna get passed around like you wouldn't believe.
I'm so jaded that if a girl says she likes travelling alone or has been in an exchange year it's an instant disqualifation as a wife material.
09-29-2019 04:51 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Lime Offline
Woodpecker
**

Posts: 459
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation: 2
Post: #38
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
^I call bullshit,
It’s simply not true that all girls on an exchange year behave like that.
09-29-2019 05:07 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Lime's post:
WombRaider
Jimmy Wonka Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 6
Joined: Jul 2019
Reputation: 0
Post: #39
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
In my opinion the healthiest way to have a relationship is giving always the impression that you can get a better girl than her.

So, if she is telling you that she is going to Spain, your attitude would be: "Ok fine, go, and we will see when you come back (because while you are there I will have the opportunity to bang other girls with more freedom)". And she is going to sense this, therefore is going to worry about your loss, with her focuses on you. And if she doesn´t worry who cares, because you are not looking for her worry, but looking for better prospects.
09-29-2019 05:19 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Jimmy Wonka's post:
louiebeans
Leonard D Neubache Offline
Owl
******
Gold Member

Posts: 11,951
Joined: Mar 2016
Reputation: 210
Post: #40
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
This is pretty much the dictionary definition of "plenty of fish in the sea".
If you reached for an encyclopedia you'd find a picture of her waving to you as she boards the plane.

Are you willing to be completely honest with us and break down your day-to-day routine with this "friend" on a purely transactional basis? I know forum rules are different now so we can use the euphemism "held hands".

How many times have you held hands vs how many times have you acted-as-a-free-taxi/bought-her-food/listened-to-her-emotional-BS/gone-shopping-with-her/etc?

I'm getting serious doormat vibes here, like you've "invested" in her and now you're feeling like she's about to default on the social debt you perceive she owes you.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
09-29-2019 06:00 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Leonard D Neubache's post:
louiebeans
ThriceLazarus Offline
Robin
*

Posts: 193
Joined: Dec 2018
Reputation: 7
Post: #41
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I second Lime. There is too much overgeneralization, nothing here is absolute. Now the plot thickens.

So you two have been connecting for a few months, this internship was already planned before you two had met, it sounds as if she at least offered to forgoe her trip - that your encouragement leads me to believe she asked for your permission before finalizing her plans. She sought your lead, a good sign!

Now there is nuance. Prepare yourself for the worst, and hope for the best. It is known that women can and will go great lengths perfectly content with celibacy - as such there is no guarantee that she will stray in Spain. Likely? Perhaps.

How hard is your heart? If she goes and you two are still intertwined can you be without attachment? Can you survive three months without knowing what she has done? Without caring to know? Schrodinger’s Pussy. Can you take the lead once more when she returns? Can you keep her entertained and interested and fulfilled from across the world? How strong of a man are you? Can you forgoe opportunity for other lovers while she is away? Are you even given opportunity? Do you have abundance in the realm of women?

There’s the chance she is faithful. There is the chance she rationalizes a single lover, even a single night, to bring fake fullness to her travel experience. There is the chance she goes a dick rampage.

All you can do is dwell on these questions - briefly, do not obsess - and consider the advice you have been given.

Can you build yourself back up if it should all fall down around you? Can you still love her, years from now, if you suddenly learn that she was with another years ago?

Go into your gut, your heart, your brain and your answer will find you.
09-29-2019 06:06 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes ThriceLazarus's post:
Lime
Polniy_Sostav Online
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 749
Joined: Apr 2017
Reputation: 6
Post: #42
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-28-2019 10:44 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  I WANT her to go to Spain, It was a dream opportunity for her and it would be horrible for me to take that from her.

What about going there with her ? If it s so important for her.
(This post was last modified: 09-29-2019 06:12 AM by Polniy_Sostav.)
09-29-2019 06:11 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 2 users Like Polniy_Sostav's post:
BBinger, louiebeans
ArcticTraveler Offline
Sparrow

Posts: 59
Joined: Jan 2019
Reputation: 1
Post: #43
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
"I told her to go to Spain because this opportunity is so great.

Im not asking her to stay, I just want our friendship to be there when she gets back."

So...business as usual?

The situation sounds like both of you are in college and in the same social circles.

You: Spin plates. Don't want the commitment from or for yet have "feelings" for one of your gals. Don't see you and your gal being in an LTR but are secretly disappointed whenever you find out about her trip to Spain.

Her: Not sleeping around (so she says) but likes you. Possibly see your relationship as being in an LTR. Now the problem is that you could be mixing up her LTR signals (?) for being plain old DTF (Down To Feel) - something that you have been already treating as DTF.

Saying that she was going to Spain could have been her gaming you to test your desire. If she overall agreed with you that it is a good idea and something for her photo album then she's not interested in an LTR.

If her reaction is the other way -she overall lightly argues with you- then its your classic shit test and it seems like she likes you but not necessarily worth the LTR.

Not quite sure how someone dosen't want to "lose" someone he doesn't want to commit to. This reads like a script from Friends or How I Met Your Mother. It would be a good idea not to follow the same "relationship" things in those shows. If you want to be friends when she gets back I don't see what the problem is; and the same for being another type of "friends."

Buddy I've been there. If she's hell-bent ongoing to Spain then theres nothing you should do about. Just give her a wave and goodbye knowing she's not full of pumpkin and spice and everything nice.

You are either going to learn the easy way or the hard way.
09-29-2019 06:30 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes ArcticTraveler's post:
loremipsum
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #44
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I’m going to try and answer as many questions as possible

She basically did ask my permission and begged for my support if I told her to go. I can’t go with her because well honestly I’m broke, I’m spending literally all my money on my game I’m developing (video game). Right now she’s been a distraction so while she’s gone life will be more balanced, I’ll have more time to focus on my overall health, 3 months is time to do a bunch of things. Due to forum rules I won’t say I’ll spin plates BUT u do plan on going full out monk mode NOT for her but for myself so I can get all my goals accomplished. I have the capability to find women now but I’m not content to where I am now to settle so to keep up with forum rules I’ll rather just improve. The trial of grasses in going to call it

To answer Leonard, and others. I didn’t commit solely because of this decision, I know girls get passed around over there so I didn’t want to commit and be a cuck, at the same time I didn’t want to force her to stop a dream job for me. I have no plans on wifing her. Simply want our connection to be salvageable when she gets back so I can keep escalating. I never planned on being “comfortable” life is about getting better and better.

She’s petite but curvy in all the right places. Doesn’t use much make up and has long natural hair. She comes from a 2 parent home full of hard workers (her parents work hard and so does her 5 siblings). Very family oriented and wants to start a big family (smiles and goes crazy when she sees babies...which is good seeing as she’s only 20) She’s a straight A student. Nobody in her family is fat, however her dad is putting on a bit of weight. Very conservative and I’ve recently introduced her into guns. She also actively tries to pay for stuff and buy me gifts.

She’s not perfect however. She’s no virgin, she’s s perfectionist, she overloads herself with work, she sometimes comes off as motherly, she’s still inexperienced and immature, her taste in shows are really troubling. The scariest is she’s a big time romantic.

She worked 3 years (paperwork started her senior year in high school) to get into this program. She will have a lucrative paid internship in Madrid with some big named company, and finish off her junior year there.

This is why I’m confused, many of you guys are looking at it with YEARS of experience and over generalization. There might be truth in it, but for a guy my age things like this isn’t easy to see. Therefor I asked for the help. And I thank you all for it
09-29-2019 10:32 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Donfitz007's post:
PapayaTapper
Leonard D Neubache Offline
Owl
******
Gold Member

Posts: 11,951
Joined: Mar 2016
Reputation: 210
Post: #45
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Cheers for the honesty. You haven't held hands yet so as the situation stands there's nothing you can do to stop this train of events without disintegrating your frame. Since you've made it apparent that you have no plans to make her your wife then you're by definition attempting to put yourself on a path to cause her damage in the pursuit of your pleasure. Aiding you in that endeavor falls outside the forum rules so I suggest STW can help you or pick out one or two members you consider solid and helpful then PM them directly for advice.

To make it clear, I'm not judging you. This is simply the reality of the forum now.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
09-29-2019 11:03 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #46
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Thanks for the help, I’m saying if she does slut out then all hopes for more with her is dead. She’s lovely but this is a huge thing
09-29-2019 11:28 AM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Geomann180 Offline
Ostrich
****
Gold Member

Posts: 1,847
Joined: Oct 2014
Reputation: 57
Post: #47
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
^You have two courses of action when you meet a girl who wants to get married and have kids and seems to not have ruined herself hopping on miles of cock:

1) Raise - lock her down or move things in that direction explicitly
2) Fold - walk away and stop wasting either of each other's time"

If you don't do #1, it is automatically seen as #2 by her. This relationship or whatever you might want to be sounds dead on arrival by the way you talk about it. It sounds cringey when you talk because you talk about her like a virgin smitten with a girl who may or may not realize he exists (don't feel attacked - I did this too 13 years ago) and then talk yourself up a bit like you're a player and know how women work. But if you did, you'd know the answer to your question and wouldn't make this thread. So maybe now you might see why there's confusion.

Please tell us about yourself if you can, so we can better understand.

1) Age
2) Country you're from
3) Parents still together or not

(09-29-2019 11:28 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Thanks for the help, I’m saying if she does slut out then all hopes for more with her is dead. She’s lovely but this is a huge thing

If this is your criteria, it's over.

G
(This post was last modified: 09-29-2019 12:59 PM by Geomann180.)
09-29-2019 12:58 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 3 users Like Geomann180's post:
loremipsum, wwtl, louiebeans
Donfitz007 Offline
Kingfisher
***

Posts: 794
Joined: Mar 2018
Reputation: 5
Post: #48
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
When did I say I was a player, in fact I said I was inexperienced
09-29-2019 03:03 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Eazy_E Offline
Banned

Posts: 151
Joined: Jul 2019
Post: #49
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Son, literally, these Spanish dudes, who are sexier, better dressed, and more experienced than you ever will be, they wait at the airport for girls like your girlfriend/not girlfriend/whatever she is and try to pick them up. Like Roosh said, she's going to a long term buffet, she isn't coming home thinner.

You're going to Spain for three months without me to keep an eye on you? Fuck you, we're done here.
09-29-2019 05:52 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Lime Offline
Woodpecker
**

Posts: 459
Joined: Jul 2015
Reputation: 2
Post: #50
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-29-2019 05:52 PM)Eazy_E Wrote:  Son, literally, these Spanish dudes, who are sexier, better dressed, and more experienced than you ever will be, they wait at the airport for girls like your girlfriend/not girlfriend/whatever she is and try to pick them up. Like Roosh said, she's going to a long term buffet, she isn't coming home thinner.

You're going to Spain for three months without me to keep an eye on you? Fuck you, we're done here.

Most foreign girls during my exchange didn't go with Spanish guys, but with other exchange students. Some went with Spanish guys, but that was quite rare. Also there were girls with boyfriends at home, and most of those girls were not available to hug. So chances are that the girl could be faithful.

Have to say, it was not in a tier 1 city, so the Spanish men were maybe less interesting to the exchange girls (students instead of more developed suave professional/artistic men).
09-29-2019 06:22 PM
Find all posts by this user Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[-] The following 1 user Likes Lime's post:
WombRaider
Post Reply 


Forum Jump:


User(s) browsing this thread: 1 Guest(s)

Contact Us | RooshV.com | Return to Top | Return to Content | Mobile Version | RSS Syndication