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General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #51
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
You shouldn't be worrying about what this women is doing worth her time away from you. Trust me, if you had other options around, you wouldn't be.

Focus on your path and getting your goals done. Not on this women. Especially since you guys have no commitment or kids together.
09-29-2019 07:38 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #52
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-29-2019 03:03 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  When did I say I was a player, in fact I said I was inexperienced

Ok. You didn't literally say it. You alluded to it or implied it.

Here.

(09-28-2019 01:19 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  As much of a cuck as I might sound, I pretty much expect her to "explore" while she's there, and to be completely honest I might "explore" as well.

And here.

(09-28-2019 03:10 PM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  But The advice here is understandable, I should just give it up. I know female nature better than most, but I’m by no means a pro. That is why I asked the people of this forum.

And here.

(09-29-2019 10:32 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Due to forum rules I won’t say I’ll spin plates BUT u do plan on going full out monk mode NOT for her but for myself so I can get all my goals accomplished. I have the capability to find women now but I’m not content to where I am now to settle so to keep up with forum rules I’ll rather just improve. The trial of grasses in going to call it

Then you didn't respond the rest of my post. Did you even read it or did it go through one ear and out the other?

Better yet, if you only respond to one thing in my post, tell me, is English your first or second language?

G
09-29-2019 10:05 PM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #53
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Geomann180

Usually, you have great information but this time this seems more like a pessimistic attack rather than good advice. I hear a lot of stories of guys keeping old "plates" as close friends. Many of these stories come from guys on here. I simply don't want the "flame" to die out while she's gone. Plus all those "qoutes" don't I prove think I'm a player, just proves I know a little more about women than the average man. The average man is VERY confused in 2019. If I knew about women I wouldn't ask.

But to answer your question

[Don't reveal personally identifiable details -Mod]
My parents are together, all my grandparents are together, and most of my aunts and uncles are still together
English is my first language but I didn't go to the best school so my grammar isn't the best. But I'm working on it.

Yes I admit I fell for this girl. Is it stupid yes, her trip to Spain always felt months away but these months are ticking down. I see her every day so it'll be pretty hard to just give up (which seems like the best option). I just thought with the shift of this forum people would be more supportive.
09-30-2019 02:23 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #54
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-30-2019 02:23 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  [Don't reveal personally identifiable details -Mod]
My parents are together, all my grandparents are together, and most of my aunts and uncles are still together
English is my first language but I didn't go to the best school so my grammar isn't the best. But I'm working on it.

Yes I admit I fell for this girl. Is it stupid yes, her trip to Spain always felt months away but these months are ticking down. I see her every day so it'll be pretty hard to just give up (which seems like the best option). I just thought with the shift of this forum people would be more supportive.

At 26 you're not old and you SMV is still deep in the valley.

So the first thing you need to come clear with is what you actually want. And it seems you want romantic commitment from her. The usual way to maybe get some commitment from a degenerate Western woman is to escalate and get her laid repeatedly. Of course, such "commitment" won't last and is against the forum rules. But if you are meeting her for long time, you missed that window already anyway and she just turned you into the classic beta orbiter.

So the primary problem in your "friendship" as in Western society in general is the male-female power balance. She controls your access to sex. So lets discuss how to get commitment from a woman in a traditional way in accordance with the new forum rules:

Then there is no way around increasing your SMV. Traditional women are women too, so if you happen to be a high SMV man they get sexually attracted to you just as any other woman. And there is only one way for her to get sex from a traditional man: Walking down the aisle first.

Now we are looking at the natural and correct power balance: Men control the access to sex and require commitment, not females like in western degeneracy.

So how do we solve the mess, which is "dating" and casual sex "relationships"? Young (20s) effeminate men get their shit together, so they become actually attractive without turning them into "players". Because the reason for a player being attractive to a Western woman is Western degeneracy.

Now young Western women don't want to commit seriously, they want to ride the carousel instead and have bunch of STRs. The way to solve this is those men mentioned above require them to commit.

Of course that only works, if we get rid of "players" providing female carousel riders free access to degeneracy. And that's why the forum rules now are as they are. It makes sense if you look at it from the right angle.
09-30-2019 05:02 AM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #55
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(09-30-2019 02:23 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  [Don't reveal personally identifiable details -Mod]
My parents are together, all my grandparents are together, and most of my aunts and uncles are still together
English is my first language but I didn't go to the best school so my grammar isn't the best. But I'm working on it.

First off, thank you for responding to my questions. It's a lot easier to give you relevant advice or decide if I even have advice that would help you if I know where you're coming from. It's alright if your grammar isn't the best - you just have to understand that what is in your head is not what is in other people's heads when they read your writing.

(09-30-2019 02:23 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Usually, you have great information but this time this seems more like a pessimistic attack rather than good advice. I hear a lot of stories of guys keeping old "plates" as close friends.

In my case, I couldn't decide if you were trolling; speaking English as a second language; young, dumb, & stubborn; or had some other reason for coming across awkward when you posted in the thread. I'm not putting you down here, just explaining why there seems to be a mix of advice and hostility in my responses. I'm happy to help out someone genuine, but after years on this forum, have little patience for trolls or some fella who seems too stubborn or oblivious to have a proper discussion. I suppose you could say it's ironic, given how many lessons I have learned recently (last 3 years or so) only to realize that my Father told me these answers 13 years ago during car rides to school and it went through one ear and out the other. Or perhaps embarrassing.

If I post a response to an OP and they respond but only to part of my post, it looks like they're ignoring the part they don't like, didn't spend time actually read the whole thing, or are trolling. Doesn't mean that either of those are the case. Could be option D, E, or F. But I can't know what's going on unless you tell me. Does that make sense?

(09-30-2019 02:23 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Yes I admit I fell for this girl. Is it stupid yes, her trip to Spain always felt months away but these months are ticking down. I see her every day so it'll be pretty hard to just give up (which seems like the best option). I just thought with the shift of this forum people would be more supportive.

It's not dumb to fall for this girl. Hardly anyone plans such a thing. Generally the only thing you can do is recognize when a relationship with a girl would be too hard and try to avoid getting involved in the first place. But maybe at the time you don't care or think it will be just casual...until it isn't.

The people on this forum are very supportive...but if they feel you are deceiving them, misleading them (like you admitted to her not actually being your girlfriend), then they get annoyed. They might feel like they wasted their time explaining how to fix a problem that wasn't even the actual problem in the first place. Once someone feels like their time has been wasted, you don't usually get much else positive from them.

People also stop being supportive if they felt they gave you advice but you just don't follow it. Or ignored it. Most people on the forum, it seems are telling you that this is a waste of your time and you should cut your losses while you can. And you keep saying, "But I wanna make this work. I really like her!"

"I know, but I've seen how this goes. Just let it go, it'll hurt more now, but less overall."

"But I..."

"I just told you the answer."

and so forth.

I will give you credit for staying in the thread rather than disappearing or lashing at out people who don't seem to give you the answers you may have hoped for, including myself.

(09-30-2019 02:23 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Many of these stories come from guys on here. I simply don't want the "flame" to die out while she's gone. Plus all those "qoutes" don't I prove think I'm a player, just proves I know a little more about women than the average man. The average man is VERY confused in 2019. If I knew about women I wouldn't ask.

Instead of going point by point, I'm just going to tell you the answer here.

If you're asking for advice on women, just ask. No need to tell us that you that most men are clueless about women, we know. No need to say you know more than most men, chances are if you are on this forum, you're not useless or at the very least not too delusional to try and improve...which the average man is. At most you could say, I'm not completely clueless with women, but this situation is beyond my expertise. Even then, if you're asking the question, we already know. Saying stuff like that looks like you're trying to wave your dick around and not seem THAT clueless. Even if you were, people here don't care if you genuinely want and seek help. And improve.

Hell, if you said, "Thanks guys for all the advice. I just can't follow it, it's too hard for me to do X. So I am going to do Y. I'll let you know what happens in three months", you'd get less hostile responses.

Hope this helps.

G
09-30-2019 10:35 AM
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Donfitz007
Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #56
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Thanks for the help, and I apologize for lashing out. This forum is quick to go hostile so I believed it was something along those lines rather than actual help. This is why assuming is a bad thing so again I apologize.

But no I do really want it to work but I trust the advice of the people on here, I should just cut my losses and give her up. I thought I stated that but maybe I didn't. I had plans of talking to her until January and waving her goodbye. She told me she's willing to be celibate in Spain but it would be hard. I would rather not get my hopes up and maybe end things.
09-30-2019 11:31 AM
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Geomann180
Eazy_E Offline
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Post: #57
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Celibate? In Spain? Come on man, you're not really that gullible, right?
09-30-2019 11:54 AM
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louiebeans Offline
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Post: #58
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I am starting to think this thread is an elaborate troll.

(04-21-2014 04:47 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  On the cool, she probably had at least one too many tortiillas, but the tetas was mas gorda, comprenede?
09-30-2019 12:11 PM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #59
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I don’t know what you guys want, literally said I’m not getting my hopes up and plan on giving up. Multiple times I said this and you guys are still judging me as if I’m saying I’m going to stay and trust her...
09-30-2019 12:25 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #60
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Have you guys "held hands"* or has it just been platonic up to now? Sorry if I missed that detail but to me its the key piece of info

*Leonards suggested euphemism

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
09-30-2019 12:33 PM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #61
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Yes we have held hands
09-30-2019 12:53 PM
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Bill Stronfer Offline
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Post: #62
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
You need to talk frankly with each other. Misunderstanding happens when one of the partners offers only friendship, and the other relies on a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage and the appearance of common children. Perhaps it will help you understand your girlfriend this article madewithsweetlove.com/how-to-be-contented-and-fulfilled-together
10-01-2019 02:53 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #63
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
[Image: zgwhwl5oyqwkvikkbqqh.jpg]

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
10-01-2019 09:42 AM
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Jimmy Wonka Offline
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Post: #64
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-01-2019 02:53 AM)Bill Stronfer Wrote:  You need to talk frankly with each other. Misunderstanding happens when one of the partners offers only friendship, and the other relies on a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage and the appearance of common children. Perhaps it will help you understand your girlfriend this article madewithsweetlove.com/how-to-be-contented-and-fulfilled-together

Sincere communication isn´t the key for a relationship since women communicate in different ways than us. They express feelings while we express information.

When a couple go to therapy and the therapist recommends a frankly communication they are just delaying the inevitable.
10-01-2019 10:48 AM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #65
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-01-2019 10:48 AM)Jimmy Wonka Wrote:  
(10-01-2019 02:53 AM)Bill Stronfer Wrote:  You need to talk frankly with each other. Misunderstanding happens when one of the partners offers only friendship, and the other relies on a long-term relationship that will lead to marriage and the appearance of common children. Perhaps it will help you understand your girlfriend this article madewithsweetlove.com/how-to-be-contented-and-fulfilled-together

Sincere communication isn´t the key for a relationship since women communicate in different ways than us. They express feelings while we express information.

When a couple go to therapy and the therapist recommends a frankly communication they are just delaying the inevitable.

The above article is was likely written to a pounding rhythm as the cuck writer's wife was in the adjacent bedroom getting banged out by her unemployed boyfriend.


Conversely

[Image: tumblr_nn4zf1HfWp1t8ttb7o1_500.jpg]



Game saves... err..used to save lives

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 10-01-2019 11:01 AM by PapayaTapper.)
10-01-2019 10:58 AM
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Lotterbube Offline
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Post: #66
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Hi guys,

I'll use this thread to talk about my problems and to ask about advice regarding my LTR.

I've been lurking for quite a while now , reading in this forum during its shift away from the player lifestyle.

I had a couple of hook ups in the past , but most of my teen years and my early adult life I have been in committed LTRs which ended usually after 3 years.

I've been in the current LTR for about 1,5 years, thinking about ending it since I realized she is not getting forward in life. I am working my ass off, pursuit a couple of hobbies, got a few friends. The next step is to buy a house, quit drinking during the week and improve my overall health/fitness.

Until a couple month ago everything was great. She cleaned, she cooked for me, the sex was great and we did a lot of fun things together. Recently I realized that I loose respect for her each passing day, she does not study for her exams, she does not keep the house clean anymore and she does not enjoy the sex anymore.

Since I had exactly the same problems with my past LTRS I am convinced that it is on me, not the women. But I can't figure out what it is exactly.

I hope some of you have some ideas. For further information about myself, just ask what you think you need to know.

Cheers, Lotterbube
10-02-2019 04:41 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #67
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-02-2019 04:41 AM)Lotterbube Wrote:  Hi guys,

I'll use this thread to talk about my problems and to ask about advice regarding my LTR.

I've been lurking for quite a while now , reading in this forum during its shift away from the player lifestyle.

I had a couple of hook ups in the past , but most of my teen years and my early adult life I have been in committed LTRs which ended usually after 3 years.

Three years is the hard limit for casual sex relationships (aka fornication). The term "LTR" is an oxymoron BTW, these relationshits are not long term, because ... well they fail after roughly three years.

Quote:I've been in the current LTR for about 1,5 years, thinking about ending it since I realized she is not getting forward in life. I am working my ass off, pursuit a couple of hobbies, got a few friends. The next step is to buy a house, quit drinking during the week and improve my overall health/fitness.

Until a couple month ago everything was great. She cleaned, she cooked for me, the sex was great and we did a lot of fun things together. Recently I realized that I loose respect for her each passing day, she does not study for her exams, she does not keep the house clean anymore and she does not enjoy the sex anymore.

Since I had exactly the same problems with my past LTRS I am convinced that it is on me, not the women. But I can't figure out what it is exactly.

You have to knock her up, if you want to get past the three years limit. Simple as that.

Affection, love, engagement, marriage, pregnancy, childbirth - within three years or go bust! This is how it works, not what degenerate society told you.

Oh, and if you don't want the sex to go stale, postpone it until after marriage, don't use contraception and keep her pregnant the whole time. Also avoid cohabitation, it kills any long term prospects.
10-02-2019 05:10 AM
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Leonard D Neubache
Lotterbube Offline
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Post: #68
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I am not confident that knocking her up would get rid of my problems. That would probably just postbone them.

I guess it is already to late for this LTR anyways, but I will see what I can get out of this forum till the next one.

Did I mention that we live together but rarely see eachother ? I usually get up and leave the house before she wakes up and come back after she is asleep again. That happens around 4 days the week.

It was one of my rules for her to not interfere with my schedule during the week, the weekends are for quality time with my family and with her.
10-02-2019 05:27 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #69
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-02-2019 05:27 AM)Lotterbube Wrote:  I am not confident that knocking her up would get rid of my problems. That would probably just postbone them.

I guess it is already to late for this LTR anyways, but I will see what I can get out of this forum till the next one.

Did I mention that we live together but rarely see eachother ? I usually get up and leave the house before she wakes up and come back after she is asleep again. That happens around 4 days the week.

It was one of my rules for her to not interfere with my schedule during the week, the weekends are for quality time with my family and with her.

You made the worst mistakes: Getting a girl from college, cohabitation without marriage, forgetting about the biological imperative.

So this is what you change:

1. Stop the cohabitation (which leads to fornication)
2. Stop the fornication (sex before marriage)

Get out of the unhealthy situation and explain to her why. Most likely it will feel for her like a breakup. See if she is still into you and sticks with you regardless (unlikely). You don't want a relationship with a girl, who isn't really into you. If she isn't, she will move on and you no longer will waste hers and your time.

Remember: A relationship is either in constant escalation towards married with children or it's dead. And yours is most likely dead.
10-02-2019 05:47 AM
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Leonard D Neubache
Lotterbube Offline
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Post: #70
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Well, thank you wwtl for your point of view. It is, in my humble opinion, a quite extreme mindset but I will think about it. That said, Is there anyone else who could give me their insight on this ?

Offtopic: is it normal that I cannot write a private message ?
10-02-2019 11:43 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #71
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-02-2019 11:43 AM)Lotterbube Wrote:  Well, thank you wwtl for your point of view. It is, in my humble opinion, a quite extreme mindset but I will think about it. That said, Is there anyone else who could give me their insight on this ?

Offtopic: is it normal that I cannot write a private message ?

Well this "extreme" mindset used to be common ground before the "sexual revolution" and "dating" (invented by gays) destroyed Western society. In fact your lifestyle used to be verboten in Germany just a few decades ago.

It's also considered degenerate by foreigners flooding countries in the West now.

For other PoVs you want to read the "cohabitation before marriage" thread:

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-74078.html

including my contribution:

https://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-74078...pid2025812

which explains why giving away commitment benefits before properly locking down badly hurts long term prospects.
10-02-2019 12:52 PM
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #72
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Lotterbube, guess I'll chip in...

Don't knock her up. That'll be the dumbest thing you can do with her besides marrying her. Bringing in kids into the mix doesn't magically fix the problems.

You'll hate each other more and would use that child as a bargaining chip to get back at each other. The child suffers.

Every relationship has an expiration date. We just feel like it should be forever. You can fight for it to last longer as long as she is putting in effort too.

Side Note. Don't think just because you marry a girl that things will just work out well. Regardless if you didn't cohabitate or sleep with her; understand marriage is work, like a job. It takes effort on both sides. Although, the current marriage dynamic is foolish for men to get into right now.
(This post was last modified: 10-02-2019 01:02 PM by SilentOne.)
10-02-2019 01:01 PM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #73
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-02-2019 01:01 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Lotterbube, guess I'll chip in...

Don't knock her up. That'll be the dumbest thing you can do with her besides marrying her. Bringing in kids into the mix doesn't magically fix the problems.

You'll hate each other more and would use that child as a bargaining chip to get back at each other. The child suffers.

Every relationship has an expiration date. We just feel like it should be forever. You can fight for it to last longer as long as she is putting in effort too.

Side Note. Don't think just because you marry a girl that things will just work out well. Regardless if you didn't cohabitate or sleep with her; understand marriage is work, like a job. It takes effort on both sides. Although, the current marriage dynamic is foolish for men to get into right now.

Obviously every relationship is work and nobody sane suggests having children out of wedlock.

In Western degeneracy you date someone, she likes you so much that she decides to move in and clean your house in exchange for sex. Guess what: Now you are "married" and many country's command-law marriage laws reflect this.

However the purpose of marriage is pregnancy and if that doesn't happen (or you have constant pseudo-pregnancy by contraception), shit simply falls apart because of the female biological imperative.

And then of course marriage and babies don't fix things. There is only a slight chance to start over by dialing back everything, which was my suggestion. It's close to ending it for a reason.
10-02-2019 01:22 PM
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Kungfu Online
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Post: #74
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I'm as jaded as they come. I think 99% of them are always looking to trade up and have zero loyalty in their bones.

But if there are any decent ones left, are they never supposed to go on a trip or live in a mixed sex living situation or go to a party just because the culture permits all girls to fuck around?

What's the rule here? Because of female hypergamy, relationships and marriage on a practical level can never exist?
10-02-2019 02:44 PM
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Geomann180 Offline
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Post: #75
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-02-2019 04:41 AM)Lotterbube Wrote:  Hi guys,

I'll use this thread to talk about my problems and to ask about advice regarding my LTR.

I've been lurking for quite a while now , reading in this forum during its shift away from the player lifestyle.

I had a couple of hook ups in the past , but most of my teen years and my early adult life I have been in committed LTRs which ended usually after 3 years.

I've been in the current LTR for about 1,5 years, thinking about ending it since I realized she is not getting forward in life. I am working my ass off, pursuit a couple of hobbies, got a few friends. The next step is to buy a house, quit drinking during the week and improve my overall health/fitness.

Until a couple month ago everything was great. She cleaned, she cooked for me, the sex was great and we did a lot of fun things together. Recently I realized that I loose respect for her each passing day, she does not study for her exams, she does not keep the house clean anymore and she does not enjoy the sex anymore.

Since I had exactly the same problems with my past LTRS I am convinced that it is on me, not the women. But I can't figure out what it is exactly.

I hope some of you have some ideas. For further information about myself, just ask what you think you need to know.

Cheers, Lotterbube

Willst du eines Tages heiraten und Kinder haben?

Normalerweise, nach zwo Jahren, faellt man Beziehungen schwieriger als vorher, weil es scheint als ob die Frauen haben einen Zeitmesser drin, der nach zwo Jahren ihr sagt das die Beziehung nicht dauern, keine Kinder gebaeren wird. Wenn du deine Freundin nicht heiraten willst, solltest du sie weg lassen. Sonst verbratest du ihre und deine Zeit.

Sag uns mal wie alt du bist, woher du wohnst, wie alt deine Freundin ist.

G
(This post was last modified: 10-02-2019 02:46 PM by Geomann180.)
10-02-2019 02:44 PM
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