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General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
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Donfitz007 Offline
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Post: #101
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
You're right beside the fact I said it was all about sex....which I would never say (especially due to the new forum shift). But you're right I need to be honest with myself. This is an unspoken relationship.
10-05-2019 04:32 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #102
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-05-2019 03:59 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  Leonard we have butt heads before int the past but you usually have A+ material. Even in this case your advice is very welcome. However things aren't cut and dry ESPECIALLY in america. Yes I admit I misled the people of this forum at first in an attempt to NOT get banned when I needed advice. With that said its complicated what she is.

Like I said things aren't black and white and a lot of experienced guys see it as black and white. I can't label her because we're a weird mix of things. More than FWB but less than a wife.

You guys genuinely mean to tell me you would tell a girl you've only known a couple months to stay home and not follow her goals because the relationship MIGHT work

Regardless of whether you ask the top religious posters or the top family posters or the top game posters on this forum, you're going to get advice which shares a very similar vein.

It is as follows, and I'm being blunt for effect, not to be rude.

Stop fucking around and decide what you want then pursue it without apology or hesitation.

Now where my opinion might diverge from the hedonist set is that degrading a woman's ability to choose marriage and monogamy (whether you think she will or wont) is immoral. Alpha-widowing women is immoral. Sucking years of their life away in dead-end LTRs causing them to end up bitter and childless is immoral. Some guys will tell you "that's their choice and the repercussions are their responsibility". It's bullshit. Those guys are feminists. They just don't realize it. Men control destiny and women seek to be owned. They hate responsibility and want to be told what to do.

This girl as much as begged you to take control of her life out of her hands. "I don't want the responsibility" she said "I want you to take it". You declined because on some level you've been indoctrinated with feminist garbage the way most of us have been in our younger years.

Now, if you had no intention of making her your wife then the outcome you've arranged is in keeping with what's proper, even if you approached it ass backwards.

If you had the intention of making her your wife then you've made a stupid mistake tossing the authority she gave you back into her lap and telling her "do your own thing".

That's my take because I'm not going to indulge the options that lead to you alpha-widowing her for temporary hedonistic gain, and as per the new forum rules if you wanted that option then you need to talk to sympathetic forum members via PM or go to some place like STW that still caters to that sort of thing.

But in the end your main problem is that you're letting your circumstances determine your options. There are almost 4 billion women on the planet and unless you look like Quasimodo then this isn't the last train out of Single Station. If you want to marry the girl then you should take authority over her and channel her energies into things that will make her a proper wife and mother (6 months in Spain and a career are NOT included).

If you don't want to marry her then drive her to the airport, wave her goodbye, wash your hands (literally, it's a powerful act), and walk the fuck away.

Do not let your circumstances control your options.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
10-05-2019 06:20 AM
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MichaelWitcoff Offline
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Post: #103
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-05-2019 04:32 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  You're right beside the fact I said it was all about sex....which I would never say (especially due to the new forum shift). But you're right I need to be honest with myself. This is an unspoken relationship.

Apologies if I got that part wrong, I just read the first couple pages at 2 or 3 am before posting my response. But I'm glad the part about honesty resonated with you. The question to ask surrounding honesty is - next time you meet a girl you like (or possibly even with this one, later, once all this has blown over) - how do you communicate more honestly so you won't end up in this mess of confusion? "Unspoken" has benefits, but also consequences - one of them being that the woman doesn't know her place in your life, which leads to all kinds of drama.

Return Of Kings contributor and best-selling author of "On The Masons And Their Lies."
10-05-2019 01:44 PM
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monsquid Offline
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Post: #104
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Guys I could use your thoughts and advice.

I met a woman 3 or 4 months ago through social circle. Chatted her up a bit and then later reconnected via FB. A month ago I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Went on another date following week. First was drinks and second was a museum. I waited a bit and asked her if she wanted to meet again and she said no she's busy. A few days later we talked on the phone for a bit. Last thing I told her was via FB messenger where I told her I enjoyed spending time and talking to her. She sent a smiley face back.

Now it's been over a month with no contact and I'm wondering if I should invite her to a friends BBQ this weekend. I'm still interested in her because she seems pretty stable and normal enough. Although she seems very guarded and I had to do most of the talking when we hung out. Also because she said no the last time I wanted to see her and hasn't initiated contact with me, I'm wondering if she's just not that into me.

She just turned 30. She insists that she's willing to wait for the right man when talking about relationships. Kinda bothered me how confident she was that she could secure the man of her dreams. Maybe that's my insecurity speaking, who knows. Thought she was a bit delusional. Perhaps I didn't build enough attraction. I played it very conservative because I'm looking for relationship not a hookup. Normally I would've been more pushy.

Thoughts?
(This post was last modified: 10-14-2019 12:53 PM by monsquid.)
10-14-2019 12:52 PM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #105
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-14-2019 12:52 PM)monsquid Wrote:  Guys I could use your thoughts and advice.

I met a woman 3 or 4 months ago through social circle. Chatted her up a bit and then later reconnected via FB. A month ago I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Went on another date following week. First was drinks and second was a museum. I waited a bit and asked her if she wanted to meet again and she said no she's busy. A few days later we talked on the phone for a bit. Last thing I told her was via FB messenger where I told her I enjoyed spending time and talking to her. She sent a smiley face back.

Now it's been over a month with no contact and I'm wondering if I should invite her to a friends BBQ this weekend. I'm still interested in her because she seems pretty stable and normal enough. Although she seems very guarded and I had to do most of the talking when we hung out. Also because she said no the last time I wanted to see her and hasn't initiated contact with me, I'm wondering if she's just not that into me.

She just turned 30. She insists that she's willing to wait for the right man when talking about relationships. Kinda bothered me how confident she was that she could secure the man of her dreams. Maybe that's my insecurity speaking, who knows. Thought she was a bit delusional. Perhaps I didn't build enough attraction. I played it very conservative because I'm looking for relationship not a hookup. Normally I would've been more pushy.

Thoughts?

I suggest you to read: https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes
10-14-2019 01:45 PM
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Avey Offline
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Post: #106
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Need some advice since I'm pretty inexperienced at women.
I'm in a relationship currently with a girl I made my first thread on here about. We're about 5 months in a relationship.
My question is whether she is displaying red flags or if women in general are like this, would it be worth breaking up or are most women like this?

I'll start with the good:
-Seems very in love with me, showers me with compliments and is willing to travel 1,5 hours to meet me in my town each week
-Young, she's 5 years younger than me so maybe she'll grow out of some of the negative stuff she has.
-Can actually have a conversation without getting too emotional. Tolerates my traditional views.
-Mentally healthy, no daddy issues or any of that crap some women have. No crazy family members
-Willing to have at least 3 children.
-She is not bossy
-Is not too clingy, doesn't text me constantly and can go without seeing me for a few days

The negative:
-Does not share my interests. Not in politics, history, culture, sports or hobbies. Kind of amazed we found things to talk about for 5 months.
-Refuses to cook for me, gives the nonsense excuse that she doesn't know how my stove works. I cook all the time because it's just being nice.
-Maybe the most annoying thing is she sometimes doesn't react when I say something I am passionate about. First it was about politics when I went off on something but a few days ago I shared something personal (something I hardly ever do) and I got a one sentence shit reply when I pretend to be interested in the very uninteresting things she likes.
-Might seem small but when she corrects me she has a tone I cannot deal with, like she's trying to get one up over me.
-Wastes time on trivial shit like Instagram, although I suspect this is most women.
-Honestly not funny and has shallow understanding of whatever she is interested in.
-Eats like an animal, isn't fat but honestly won't take long with how she eats. I did get her in the gym though so that's a plus.

So this is roughly the situation. Normal women stuff or should I expect more form a woman? She's 20 so does she grow out of some of these things? Are there things I can do to test if she has potential.

Also she's a 6.5 or a 7,5 on good days.
10-17-2019 06:02 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #107
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Do you at all envisage a future where she's your wife?

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
10-17-2019 06:27 AM
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Avey Offline
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Posts: 23
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Post: #108
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-17-2019 06:27 AM)Leonard D Neubache Wrote:  Do you at all envisage a future where she's your wife?

Yes but then comes the thing I forgot to add:
Even with kids she wants to work full time. I might get her to the point where she would work 4 (maybe 3) days a week when she had kids but I am not planning on being someone who sends their kids to be raised by daycare.

But yes I can imagine it but then again I can envision just about anything, it's something i regularly do.
10-17-2019 06:31 AM
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bgbusiness Away
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Post: #109
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(10-14-2019 12:52 PM)monsquid Wrote:  Guys I could use your thoughts and advice.

I met a woman 3 or 4 months ago through social circle. Chatted her up a bit and then later reconnected via FB. A month ago I asked her out on a date and she said yes. Went on another date following week. First was drinks and second was a museum. I waited a bit and asked her if she wanted to meet again and she said no she's busy. A few days later we talked on the phone for a bit. Last thing I told her was via FB messenger where I told her I enjoyed spending time and talking to her. She sent a smiley face back.

Now it's been over a month with no contact and I'm wondering if I should invite her to a friends BBQ this weekend. I'm still interested in her because she seems pretty stable and normal enough. Although she seems very guarded and I had to do most of the talking when we hung out. Also because she said no the last time I wanted to see her and hasn't initiated contact with me, I'm wondering if she's just not that into me.

She just turned 30. She insists that she's willing to wait for the right man when talking about relationships. Kinda bothered me how confident she was that she could secure the man of her dreams. Maybe that's my insecurity speaking, who knows. Thought she was a bit delusional. Perhaps I didn't build enough attraction. I played it very conservative because I'm looking for relationship not a hookup. Normally I would've been more pushy.

Thoughts?

Does she know your intention?
Did you EVER tried to kiss close her on your dates? Any kino?
Even if you are looking for a relationship, you can still kiss after few dates.
Let her know your true intention, she might just think that you are being friendly at this point

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."
- Heat

"That's the difference between you and me. You wanna lose small, I wanna win big."
10-17-2019 06:49 AM
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onetouchisultra Offline
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Posts: 24
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Post: #110
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Think of this as practice in finding your balls and ending it. Women esp American Women love finding themselves abroad.
You are torturing yourself caring.
10-17-2019 07:30 AM
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