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General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
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WombRaider Offline
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Post: #126
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
Quote:And don't fret over her not answering on whatsapp, it's beta. If she takes an hour to respond to you, you take an hour and 15 minutes to reply back.

Isn't it beta to count the minutes like that, though?
(This post was last modified: 11-02-2019 09:58 AM by WombRaider.)
11-02-2019 09:57 AM
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Avey Offline
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Post: #127
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-02-2019 09:57 AM)WombRaider Wrote:  
Quote:And don't fret over her not answering on whatsapp, it's beta. If she takes an hour to respond to you, you take an hour and 15 minutes to reply back.

Isn't it beta to count the minutes like that, though?

Yes, but all that matters is perception. I'm not saying set your clock to an exact time. It's just that answering right away after she let you wait an hour is bad, look at the text and set the phone down, come back in an hour or so.
11-02-2019 10:26 AM
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Lamron300 Offline
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Post: #128
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-02-2019 10:26 AM)Avey Wrote:  
(11-02-2019 09:57 AM)WombRaider Wrote:  
Quote:And don't fret over her not answering on whatsapp, it's beta. If she takes an hour to respond to you, you take an hour and 15 minutes to reply back.

Isn't it beta to count the minutes like that, though?

Yes, but all that matters is perception. I'm not saying set your clock to an exact time. It's just that answering right away after she let you wait an hour is bad, look at the text and set the phone down, come back in an hour or so.

My paranoia is who she is talking to...she could be checking a group chat message or responding to a friend. But she could also be chatting to another guy. I mean shes gone on 3 dates with me and kissed me 3 times, so I guess if she is playing me she is playing the other people as well. When she gets back from holiday I need to make it known I'm romantically interested in her, but I don't want to seem 'keen'.
11-02-2019 10:55 AM
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redonion Offline
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Post: #129
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
I'm beginning to run into an issue in my LTR and need some advice. I'm not sure if this is a common situation or if I'm in big trouble.

I've been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 3 years and we moved in together a few months ago. So far, living together has been great. No fights, she takes care of womanly duties like laundry, dishes, and cleaning. I provide 70-100% of rent money, and I've maintained my freedom. I am very happy with where I am in my relationship. There's only one problem - we are not having sex frequently. We are probably doing it 1 time per week, which has me concerned.

It's not like I'm hungry for sex and she's denying me. I'm mostly apathetic - either because it's no longer "fresh" or I have another issue like low T. However she doesn't initiate things either unless she's horny. Part of me feels like this is what happens when you're together with the same person for a long time. However, another part of me wonders what will happen 20+ years down the road if I decide to eventually marry this girl (which is at this point within the realm of possibility).

Is my situation normal, am I overthinking things? Or am I right to be concerned about this trajectory? If you think I have a reason to be concerned, what are some things I should be focusing on in order to resurrect the sexual tension?
(This post was last modified: 11-20-2019 09:31 PM by redonion.)
11-20-2019 09:30 PM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #130
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
1-2 years before marriage, tops.
3 years (total) before pregnancy.

Regardless of what her cultural conditioning is, her womb and her ring finger are saying "this guy isn't going to get it done".

Odds are fair the relationship will go downhill from here. Pulling up from this point is difficult. Her body itself has soured to your touch due to perceived infertility.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
(This post was last modified: 11-20-2019 10:11 PM by Leonard D Neubache.)
11-20-2019 10:10 PM
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randomA Offline
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Post: #131
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-20-2019 09:30 PM)redonion Wrote:  There's only one problem - we are not having sex frequently.

When this starts to happen, statistically 100% of all my LTRs have gone quickly downhill from there to the point that either party falls out of love and wants out eventually, with either cheating on one's part or not.
I am sorry for not having a solution for this, because I was also burnt hard by similar events each time and have no idea of possible resolution.

This happens always after moving in together though. Routine together and comfort put the couple's focus on other activities; then daily wageslave lives get busy and sex goes out of the window altogether. Priorities simply change. Even if at first you still enjoy being together and do other things that not necessarily involve sex, lack of sex for some reason always preludes to bad things to come.

At this point the only thing I can think of is making kids: if the couple stagnates too long in the daily routine/comfort/low-frequency boring sex situation without moving to the next stage (kids?), then the whole relationship is doomed to fail.
I don't know, that's just what I seem to understand, but I have not tried it myself and don't know if it'll work. If you wait too long to make the next move, that's how it's been for me.
I also don't know if there is any other option except being forever single/alone living a bachelor life.
11-20-2019 11:00 PM
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WombRaider
hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #132
RE: General relationship questions and advice/Newbie friendly
(11-20-2019 09:30 PM)redonion Wrote:  It's not like I'm hungry for sex and she's denying me. I'm mostly apathetic - either because it's no longer "fresh" or I have another issue like low T. However she doesn't initiate things either unless she's horny.

Or am I right to be concerned about this trajectory?

In each of my relationships I had the problem that we had less sex than I wanted to. I have married my wife because we only had a little less, not much less :-). I think this is an inherent issue in human life that men have a stronger sex drive. It is logical if you see how we have children how our evolution works.

I think that if you are really apathetic and only initiate sex one a week then maybe there is some problem with your sex drive. You are too young for that. It could be a health issue.

(Or maybe you did not tell the whole truth because you do not want to admit that she turns you down? It happens to the bests you can admit that. It is important because we need a totally different approach in that case.)

I also feel some contradiction here: if it is you who does not want more then what is the problem? Why does it bother you? Do you think that you would want more sex but not with her? Did she emotionally abuse you so that you do not want her?

Are you on nofap? You should totally do nofap in this case. I can accept fap if you do not have enough sex and you need it as a relief. Fapping when you could also have sex with a real woman is not a good idea.

I think you are right to be concerned about the situation.
Yesterday 12:54 PM
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