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Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
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thedonald Offline
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Rainbow Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Every guy will experience it.

Early 30s with a stable nice good looking girlfriend, but she is not exactly what you wanted.

You feel like you are settling, getting older, friends moved on, scarcity starts to set it.

Do you stick with it or do you go chasing the girl of your dreams and risk losing a good thing.
10-04-2019 01:24 PM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:24 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Every guy will experience it.

Early 30s with a stable nice good looking girlfriend, but she is not exactly what you wanted.

You feel like you are settling, getting older, friends moved on, scarcity starts to set it.

Do you stick with it or do you go chasing the girl of your dreams and risk losing a good thing.

Sounds like "dating" gone wrong.

Why are you a "boyfriend" in your 30s? You know what the term "boy" stands for?

Why are wasting your time with someone who isn't "exactly what you want"?

What exactly are you looking for?
10-04-2019 01:37 PM
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thedonald Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
The real question is...How long does it go on for.

Do you stay with a good thing. Everyone wants something different but the question is, when is it enough?

Do you go searching for perfection? Do people ever find exactly what they want.


(10-04-2019 01:37 PM)wwtl Wrote:  
(10-04-2019 01:24 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Every guy will experience it.

Early 30s with a stable nice good looking girlfriend, but she is not exactly what you wanted.

You feel like you are settling, getting older, friends moved on, scarcity starts to set it.

Do you stick with it or do you go chasing the girl of your dreams and risk losing a good thing.

Sounds like "dating" gone wrong.

Why are you a "boyfriend" in your 30s? You know what the term "boy" stands for?

Why are wasting your time with someone who isn't "exactly what you want"?

What exactly are you looking for?
10-04-2019 01:43 PM
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Azuma Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:43 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Do you go searching for perfection? Do people ever find exactly what they want.

No, just by being human, you are incapable of being satisfied with anything material, including the positive qualities of your wife. The only way to achieve satisfaction in this world is though the acceptance of Jesus Christ.

Even if you find a 'unicorn', her looks will fade, her personality might become the opposite of what you liked in the first place. You'll want something better, something more, it never ends.

There is no 'perfect' or 'good enough', there is only something like compromise. Find the woman that matches the best with what you want out of life. You won't likely find a perfect match, but you can get close. Good luck.
10-04-2019 02:21 PM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:43 PM)thedonald Wrote:  The real question is...How long does it go on for.

Do you stay with a good thing. Everyone wants something different but the question is, when is it enough?

Do you go searching for perfection? Do people ever find exactly what they want.

Why didn't you answer my questions?

To answer your counter question: I asked the Lord, He knows better than me what exactly I want and He is going to provide it.

Is it perfection? No. Since when are living human beings perfect? What kind of mindset is this?
10-04-2019 02:27 PM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Sounds like simple quarter-life crisis, when it comes to things like this you have to weigh your options. WHat don't you like about her, what do you like about her.

NO woman is perfect, We guys get fed a lie through media. Sorta like watching a cartoon where the dog or cat can talk. Yes, it would be great if your dog could talk but it isn't realistic. You love your dog for what is not hate it for what it isn't.

SO you have to sit there and think are there things you can help her improve on, or is this just you being lonely and wanting to casually date.

Unfortuenly women have to be trained. Feminism and media USUALLY trains them but sometimes past boyfriends, family, or friends train them. You have to train her to be good at certain things.
10-04-2019 02:33 PM
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Roosh Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:43 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Do you go searching for perfection? Do people ever find exactly what they want.

Are you perfect?

On a scale of 1-10, what would you rate yourself? Then subtract two for the honest answer and go find a girl on that level.

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10-04-2019 03:59 PM
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Donfitz007 Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Guys he's just seeking help. Serious reflection is what he needs, wasting his life with a girl he isn't happy with is a sure way to divorce. On the other hand if he explores and finds worse or doesn't find anything at all then he loses. He needs to reflect, weigth the options, view the pros and cons, really meditate on if he loves his girl or not, maybe Pray and hopes God gives him an answer. Either way this is a hard choice.

Media teaches guys to either settle for what they got or find perfection, he has to fight that indoctrination and figure out what's best for him.
10-04-2019 05:11 PM
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Constantly trading in girlfriends in search of the perfect wife is the employment equivalent of quitting your job every time it gets hard. Your career does not advance, your resume looks poor and you never develop your resolve and character.

There is no perfect person or perfect woman. The minor flaws of the perfect girl will find will also start to grate on you over time. If you want to have peace in your marriage the best way would be to find the balance of a girl that worships you and that you can tolerate.

For example, if you marry a 4 that worships you like a God, your life will be easy except for probably when you have to go out with her in public or have marital relations. If you marry a much hotter woman your life in public and marital relations may be good but be prepared to have a difficult time with the more mundane parts of marital life as she will be used to being pampered, lazy and taking hours to get ready to go anywhere.

Pick a course, and set sail, don't flip flop. Any path you take in life will have positives and negatives, it is your challenge to deal with them.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
10-04-2019 05:24 PM
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VNvet Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
We don't live in a Hollywood movie, so don't chase the "girl of your dreams."
10-04-2019 07:21 PM
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Kid Twist Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Forget unicorn, just try to get in surroundings where there are girls that are marriageable.

By the way, check out my historical threads and laugh when you see one of them (that got me a suspension) that was asking about ratings.

Get your passport ready!
10-04-2019 08:10 PM
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
And then in 10 years OP comes home to find this woman sleeping with another man in his bed. Heatbreaking of course but he tries to save the marriage for the sake of his kids but soon realises that they weren't even his own to beging with (but that they belong to some African guy she used to have gangbangs with). So she divorces him and take half of his shit and then what?
Then he will regret that he took the easy route and settled for less in life and didn't trust his own instincts.

I don't think one should expect everything to be perfect but if you have put so much thought into this to make a thread about it, then it's probably because of a reason and that your gut feeling tells you that you should probably move on. I think you should listen to that one, that's all I will say.
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2019 04:32 AM by No More Mr. Soy Boy.)
10-05-2019 04:15 AM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:24 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Every guy will experience it.

Early 30s with a stable nice good looking girlfriend, but she is not exactly what you wanted.

You feel like you are settling, getting older, friends moved on, scarcity starts to set it.

Do you stick with it or do you go chasing the girl of your dreams and risk losing a good thing.

First of all - most guys can tell here that you are not really Red Pill yet. Early 30s is hardly old for a man - it is only old for a woman.

That said - we don't know all your life story and circumstance, but getting more Red Pillled (reading rationalmale, old ROK articles, Roosh's works...) that helps. Learning Game and seduction also does not hurt - you don't have to sleep with anyone - you can even do dry approaches for experiences or see how women react when you apply Game concepts. Next is your own self-improvement scale on all matters.

I found that the best way to make those kind of decisions is to make it a blend of deep intuition and mind. Forget emotions or sexual drives - those are bad hombres in your decisions. If you lack intuition, then pick up contemplation/prayer - then use that on top of cool calculations.

It's not a matter of whether you can do better, because you may do so with some effort, but it's more an awareness of whether it is right for that woman to be in your life.
10-05-2019 07:18 AM
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velkrum Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:24 PM)thedonald Wrote:  do you go chasing the girl of your dreams and risk losing a good thing.

It will always be a roll of the dice. There is no guarantee of finding love, especially for men unwilling to relocate to places with better female ratios.

Assuming you are an attractive high value male with good genetics, good health, a career making 75k (or at least moving in that direction financially) and willing to relocate, the answer is YES you should try to find the girl of your dreams.

Settling with a woman that is "not exactly what you wanted" is for low value men who, "take what they can get". Nothing wrong with that, but if you are high value "You get what you want."

Inferior Game + Inferior Genetics = Incel
Superior Game + Inferior Genetics = Incel

Inferior Game + Average Genetics = Friend zone
Superior Game + Average Genetics = Beta Bucks
Inferior Game + Superior Genetics = Alpha
Superior Game + Superior Genetics = Game of Life: now on EASY mode
(This post was last modified: 10-05-2019 04:34 PM by velkrum.)
10-05-2019 04:32 PM
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LoveBug Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Usually this comes down to how much you need a woman in your life, how much you will settle

Just turned 41, and I have no need for a woman in my life. I naturally am a solo guy, who likes to travel and do things without concern for others. I have strong family bonds as well, and don’t find the prospects of generating more friendly company that difficult. As you age, and your sexual hunger declines, having a stable piece is less important than when your younger, which is nature.

All that’s to say, I take the concept of marriage seriously and it will only be fulfilled by a unicorn. IMO that’s what the concept of marriage is. It’s supposed to be your soul mate. If she’s taking your name, and your providing all you can, it can’t be a girl who isn’t your unicorn, for me.

All that is to say if I were in a relationship, and I didn’t feel the girl was the unicorn, I’d be upfront about the notion that it could end at anytime. Usually you can tell immediately how much you will vibe with her.

But I realize I’m not normal, so from the vantage of the typical 30s guy with a normal desire for family and a opposite sex partner, it depends on your happiness. If you are happy, content, and feel satiated, there is no reason to risk it. But it’s a gut instinct, you need to cultivate your desire to listen to it and follow it
10-05-2019 11:15 PM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-05-2019 11:15 PM)LoveBug Wrote:  Usually this comes down to how much you need a woman in your life, how much you will settle

Just turned 41, and I have no need for a woman in my life. I naturally am a solo guy, who likes to travel and do things without concern for others. I have strong family bonds as well, and don’t find the prospects of generating more friendly company that difficult. As you age, and your sexual hunger declines, having a stable piece is less important than when your younger, which is nature.

All that’s to say, I take the concept of marriage seriously and it will only be fulfilled by a unicorn. IMO that’s what the concept of marriage is. It’s supposed to be your soul mate. If she’s taking your name, and your providing all you can, it can’t be a girl who isn’t your unicorn, for me.

All that is to say if I were in a relationship, and I didn’t feel the girl was the unicorn, I’d be upfront about the notion that it could end at anytime. Usually you can tell immediately how much you will vibe with her.

But I realize I’m not normal, so from the vantage of the typical 30s guy with a normal desire for family and a opposite sex partner, it depends on your happiness. If you are happy, content, and feel satiated, there is no reason to risk it. But it’s a gut instinct, you need to cultivate your desire to listen to it and follow it

Dude... This is red-pill 101. Please read up before potentially misleading other less experienced members.

The Soul Mate Myth
10-06-2019 02:25 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #17
RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Calm down. It's a turn of phrase.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
10-06-2019 05:23 AM
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
The Forbidden Words Pill. Big Grin

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
10-06-2019 05:49 AM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-05-2019 11:15 PM)LoveBug Wrote:  Usually this comes down to how much you need a woman in your life, how much you will settle

Just turned 41, and I have no need for a woman in my life. I naturally am a solo guy, who likes to travel and do things without concern for others. I have strong family bonds as well, and don’t find the prospects of generating more friendly company that difficult. As you age, and your sexual hunger declines, having a stable piece is less important than when your younger, which is nature.

All that’s to say, I take the concept of marriage seriously and it will only be fulfilled by a unicorn. IMO that’s what the concept of marriage is. It’s supposed to be your soul mate. If she’s taking your name, and your providing all you can, it can’t be a girl who isn’t your unicorn, for me.

All that is to say if I were in a relationship, and I didn’t feel the girl was the unicorn, I’d be upfront about the notion that it could end at anytime. Usually you can tell immediately how much you will vibe with her.

But I realize I’m not normal, so from the vantage of the typical 30s guy with a normal desire for family and a opposite sex partner, it depends on your happiness. If you are happy, content, and feel satiated, there is no reason to risk it. But it’s a gut instinct, you need to cultivate your desire to listen to it and follow it

The primary purpose of marriage is not having sex, it's reproduction. Dealing with women in the process is the necessary sacrifice to reach that goal. Bluntly speaking.

That's why all the talk about lust ("soul mates", "unicorns" and "sexual hunger") goes nowhere.

You meet someone compatible, who is fertile, you vet each other and engage. You love her, she respects you and you create babies. She cares for them, you provide for them and you both love them until they grew up and the cycle starts again.

That's the story, everything else is icing on the cake.
10-06-2019 01:08 PM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
I misread the title - I thought it said "leaving your girlfriend to chase your dreams" - would've liked to hear some older guys' takes on that.
10-06-2019 05:20 PM
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thedonald Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
Honestly thanks alot for all the responses, Its given me alot to think about. I will just have to try and choose the right path and try to stay grounded in reality.

Thanks again everyone.
10-07-2019 10:54 AM
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Matsufubu Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-04-2019 01:24 PM)thedonald Wrote:  Every guy will experience it.

Early 30s with a stable nice good looking girlfriend, but she is not exactly what you wanted.

You feel like you are settling, getting older, friends moved on, scarcity starts to set it.

Do you stick with it or do you go chasing the girl of your dreams and risk losing a good thing.

I think the bolded sentence is rather key here. Are we talking "She won't take it up the wrong'un", which is no grounds to abandon a relationship, or are we talking on the level of "She doesn't want kids", which is a deal breaker? OP, do you want kids and think she'd make a good mother? If not then why bother continuing? That's ultimately what it's all about at this stage.

If your heart knows that it's over, then it's over. If you're just getting itchy feet because you're in your 30's and fancy one last throw of the dice, be careful. A lot of big talk about "Alpha males demand perfection, don't settle!" without knowing your situation, the girl in question or literally anything about the matter is going to get you very lonely in the long run. Remember that there are multiple generations of lonely cat ladies who held out for the unicorn, not realising that unicorns don't exist. And that's women, who had battalions of suitors queuing up to give them commitment. I doubt that you have the same luxury.

So is this about you or her, OP? I don't want to offer definitive advice without knowing the nature of your concerns about the relationship. If some prime looking pussy has come on the scene and turned your head, just say so.
10-07-2019 03:25 PM
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SayWhat1015 Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
This forum has gone to shit. Deuces all
10-08-2019 11:28 AM
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
I remember older threads telling men to work to get as close to their ideal of perfection as they can! How is settling masculine. One part I always see about Being a man is about taking risk, and it’s a high risk high reward to go out and look for the perfect woman! Settling is why these women are shit nowadays. We have to go back and hold them to a standard or they’ll never get better.

P.s this has nothing to do with PUA, I’m not telling you to go out and have casual sex. If this woman doesn’t make you happy and you feel you can do better then go out and look! This is the rest of your life we’re talking about!

I do feel like you can train a woman to fit a certain lifestyle but you have to be honest with yourself.
(This post was last modified: 10-08-2019 11:48 AM by Donfitz007.)
10-08-2019 11:45 AM
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wwtl Offline
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RE: Leaving your girlfriend to chase the girl of your dreams - Chasing unicorns
(10-08-2019 11:45 AM)Donfitz007 Wrote:  I remember older threads telling men to work to get as close to their ideal of perfection as they can!

With the God Pill it makes sense: Any Christian man works towards the ideal of perfection represented by Christ.

Quote:How is settling masculine. One part I always see about Being a man is about taking risk, and it’s a high risk high reward to go out and look for the perfect woman! Settling is why these women are shit nowadays. We have to go back and hold them to a standard or they’ll never get better.

The more perfect of an image of Christ you become the higher the standard will be that the truly religious woman will keep herself to. It's leading by example.

As this is a Christian forum, I can tell you that there is simply no point in dating non-believers.
10-08-2019 11:59 AM
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