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How I Found a Russian Bride
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Solitaire Offline
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How I Found a Russian Bride
[This is my personal journey about how I married a young Russian lady. I’m going to try my best to avoid the use of present-day idioms and appropriated words & phrases, e.g., blue-pilled, white knight, etc. I’ll simply describe my state of mind, decisions I made, observations, and let the reader take what he wants from the passages. I've debated where this should go - Relationships vs Travel - and decided here, though it starts out much more as a travel journal. It will end up discussing the 18 year relationship I had with my now ex-wife. I’d love to add some photos from my trips there but those pics are on my broken laptop, so I’ll have to put them in separately after I manage to retrieve my data.]



“Russia?”

Quote: Regarding possible actions Russia might take in the early stages of WWII: “[Russia] is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma …” – W. Churchill

In the summer of 1998, I made the decision to travel to Russia, go out into the provinces, and explore. Every friend and family member I told this to said in response, “Russia?” It wasn’t so long ago that perestroika and glasnost had happened – restructuring and openness – meaning that the veil of mystery regarding the Former Soviet Union (FSU) was at least somewhat pulled aside. Americans could now more freely travel to Russia, though it was still a tedious business of getting the required VISA which needed to be supported via invitation and other requirements, all still applicable today, far as I know.

In any case: why Russia? The short answer is that I decided, in the mid-90s, to teach myself a language. I was rather bored, after finishing my degree in 1994 (one young lady I told this to, she said, “Wow – when I’m bored, I go shoe shopping”). Why not Japanese, since I’d lived there as a boy and would pick up the language again rather quickly, in comparison? All I can say to this is that the sometimes-menacing mystery of the FSU captivated me, somehow. The 80s propaganda that I grew up with was that all Soviet women were either steroid-addled man-things or decrepit babushki, that the bread lines were still around the corner, well you get the idea. It was indeed propaganda, because as I discovered ten minutes after leaving Aэропорт Шереметьево (Sheremet'yevo Aeroport), this country has some breathtakingly beautiful women, scenery, art, cities, and culture.

The language itself came quickly to me. I learned the basics of the alphabet in the first day. I used Pimsleur’s cassette tapes to learn words, phrases, grammar, and proper enunciation, as well as reading (writing was and still is impossible for me; without living there, I’ll never learn the rules and exceptions). I found a language book from the 50s that helped tremendously with grammar, though I had to thoughtfully not memorize the outdated, and sometimes hilarious, idioms and word usage. I didn’t want to be that guy running around calling everyone товарищ.

Sometime into this language exploration, I decided to travel to Russia. I’d lived overseas most of my childhood, so it didn’t seem to me that I was doing anything outrageous. I just wanted to go. I wanted to test whether I had learned enough Russian to navigate the country, so I planned my trip thusly: I’d fly into Moscow, of course, then get on a train headed east. I did have to choose a city and obtain the invitation for my travel dates, so I picked На́бережные Челны́ (Naberezhnyye Chelny, hereafter written N. Chelny) in the Republic of Tatarstan. I'm not entirely sure why I chose this particular city, except that I decided not to go too far into Russia (turns out that just stepping off the plane could be considered 'too far'), the name was interesting (translates to 'quay of boats'), it has a fascinating history, at least to me, and I figured for sure that I'd be one of the only Americans hanging around there. Boy, was I right about that ...


Onward to the Eastern Front

Quote: “When I drink a bottle of vodka, I feel like a new man. And that new man needs his bottle of vodka” – told to me by a jovial Russian fellow

September of 1998 came along, and off I went to Moscow. Let me tell you something: As a former US Marine, stepping foot on the soil of my formerly sworn enemy was humbling and exhilarating. I had more than one interesting experience with young men during my months in Russia; they were jovial, quick to embrace me into their group of friends, endlessly curious about the West, overall really fun to hang out with. It’s difficult not to turn this whole post into an extended travel journal. Let me just mention one example, for fun: that having to find a toilet to use urgently and racing into an unmarked building, to realize too late that I’m standing in the vestibule of a милиция (militsiya), with a couple dozen fresh-faced fellows in camo and Kalashnikov’s slung over there shoulders … well, turns out it’s a funny story, in the end.

Red Square was almost indescribable. After having seen this place on television, in movies, and music videos my whole life, to be standing there in that vast space was just incredible. I was hooked. Everywhere I looked were drop-dead gorgeous young ladies. The men were as masculine as they come, as well – confident, swarthy, friendly and laughing. The dollar was still very strong against the ruble, so I had a hard time spending more than a few bucks even if I was buying for the whole table. I made some good friends starting on my very first night.

I was soon off to Kazan, the capital city of Tatarstan. This particular Republic was, probably still is, 50% Muslim. The people in general had darker hair and complexions compared with the Nordic influence apparent in Moscow. Riding the tram in Kazan that first day, going from the train station to a ‘taxi stand’ where I could get a ride for the three-hour drive to N. Chelny, I’ll always remember my thought, while looking out the window: I’d see a beautiful girl on the street corner, but by the time the tram got to the end of the block I’d forgotten what that first girl looked like, because there had been a dozen more. A 29-year-old American male in paradise! That’s how I was feeling, and that feeling just intensified over the days of this first trip.

to be continued
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2019 08:35 AM by Solitaire.)
10-07-2019 08:33 AM
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BuckFutter Offline
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Post: #2
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
The latest surveys say less than 10% of Russian women want a foreigner. Statisticians technical term for this is “bottom of the barrel trash”. Only girls who leave are the overweight and 6s who can’t get a decent Russia sponsor *ahem* husband.

You’re lucky to have gone right after peristroika period when young girls still had grown up in desperate times. Now even the tier II and III girls aren’t eager to leave. They just need to move to Moscow. Plenty of money around here.

About the only traditional idea they retain is “a mans wallet is a joint wallet and a females is private”. In two months of dating I never once had a Russian girl thank me. In fact they acted like nothing was god enough for them. That’s spoiled and entitled behavior in any country.

Even met another RVFer who went to a tier 3 city to get a hot student. He said he likes her for obvious reasons but would never marry her. The female Russian attitude and behavior makes any sensible man quickly lose respect for her if not outright resent her. It’s the most sexist and mercantile in the world.

If you’re willing to travel for a wife try Japan. They’re just as feminine and submissive; super polite; zero drama, low flake rate; wonderful culture and work ethic; college educated; always have a sibling, so not spoiled; low divorce rate; their passport is the worlds strongest.

Want a family? Look how well behaved and cute little Japanese kids are in their uniform. Come to Moscow and see screaming little brats with no discipline or respect for group harmony. I’ll pass. I’m not trying to be an ATM machine for a soulless bank robber.

I think you can still get lucky today and find a good one. But only with a massive investment of time, money, language. But you’d have to have a hard core white girl fetish and/or be a male 4-5 to want that. Spend those resources elsewhere and find a girl who’s not “Fucked in the Head”.

I really want to reiterate how much has changed. These girls are not marriage material. Not a single one of them. Their upbringing and Moscow’s wealth causes them to have ZERO regard for men’s finances and feelings.

FUCK THE RUSSIA
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2019 11:26 AM by BuckFutter.)
10-07-2019 10:59 AM
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Solitaire Offline
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Post: #3
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
1. What surveys?
2. Even back when I was there, Moscow was an international city. It's a big country. Get out a bit.
3. My ex wasn't 'eager to leave' in the slightest. She had a job, extended family, owned an apartment with her mother, tons of friends - all of them also not interested in finding a foreigner, though they were happy to hang out with me and have fun bbq'ing in the birch forests, going dancing, etc. And no, I didn't pay for everything, in fact on many occasions I was refused when I did try to pay.
4. Let me know how it goes getting a Japanese girl.
10-07-2019 11:57 AM
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #4
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
I've been waiting for this.

“That sig BTW is a very asinine anti-family anti-parent quote. You live in a country where 40% of children grow up without a biological father, yet somehow “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents”? Sorry but this is fruity Boomer nonsense.”

911
10-07-2019 11:58 AM
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BuckFutter Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
I went over to Vladimir and Suzdal yesterday. Got caught in a snowstorm. Vladimir is a shit hole. Now I realize why Russians refuse to travel around their own country.

Here’s an article about muscovites not wanting foreigners.
https://www.themoscowtimes.com/2016/02/1...you-a51796

You were here in 1999? Different world back then. Now Moscow has a lot of money and the new skyscraper district is attracting monied foreigners who like to sugar.

I waited years to visit thinking maybe a generation post Soviet Union would help improve the economy and lead to much better prospects. I think it made it worse because now we have online dating. Girls can date multiple men at once, play games, get free stuff endlessly.

Back when you showed up in 1999 and went to tier 4 Russia you were treated well. That’s great. I’d never go there wife hunting today.

I’ve lived in Japan many times and met several girls worth marrying in Tokyo and Osaka. When I’m ready to get re-married I’ll go work there and start a life.

Sorry but you just can’t trust an attractive Russian woman. They’re at the top of the world SMV. If she’s online and passporting her tinder to Moscow she’s receiving crazy offers. In addition she’s already fucked in the head by her upbringing.
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2019 01:47 PM by BuckFutter.)
10-07-2019 01:37 PM
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BuckFutter Offline
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Post: #6
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Scroll down to where he talks about Russian barbecues. Not saying yours was like this but...

https://medium.com/@meohoh/twelve-reason...eb0feddcd6

^ I saw stuff like this only a few hours from Moscow.

I’m not planning Russia or Moscow. It’s a nice city if not a bit boring and bad weather. I went over to the empire tower today and admired all the sky scrapers they recently built.
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2019 01:48 PM by BuckFutter.)
10-07-2019 01:45 PM
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gework Offline
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Post: #7
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
I think there are types of guys who are more likely to attract gold diggers than others. I don't attract them as I don't have the cues they look for.

Russia is certainly not a haven for traditional women, but it's a hell of a let better than Western Europe. I met one girl there, who was surprisingly disinterested in other men. She had a long-attention span and just wasn't pulled to attention whoring. Not perfect, but again, superior in every way to Western Euro women.

@Buck, how do you meet the girls in Japan? And what sort of age gaps are they good with?
10-07-2019 01:48 PM
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BuckFutter Offline
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Post: #8
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
I dated a cute 20 yo Japanese student that was genuinely in love with a 60 yo man. She complained he just used her for sex but she was deeply in love. Probably not the norm but age gaps aren’t a big deal. Japanese also age way better. Russians age horribly.

It’s the easiest country to approach. Language is easy to learn since it’s not tonal like other Asian languages. They have a cafe and bar culture. Girls around all day and night.

Sorry to hijack this thread. Please continue your story. I just wanted to let guys know hot Russian girls are ruthless golddiggers rotten to their core. They can’t help themselves. Zero free thinking and empathy. Marry at your own risk.
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2019 02:03 PM by BuckFutter.)
10-07-2019 01:52 PM
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AffNomad Offline
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Post: #9
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Excellent start Solitaire, looking forward to reading more. For me at least, the more of a travel log it turns into the better - fascinating tale
10-07-2019 04:02 PM
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Solitaire Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
I was going to respond with a link to the RoK article from last year: http://www.returnofkings.com/178429/3-re...nese-woman

Quote: "Oftentimes you read online about how foreign men decide to wife up their sweet, wholesome girlfriends, only to find out she was mentally unstable much later. If the lady you’re with repels the local men, then you’re missing out on some social cues. Locals see her and avoid like the plague. Foreigners wife her up. Due to a substantial amount of stigma around mental health in the country, don’t be surprised if you encounter a few ladies who need to spend more time at the counseling center than the nightclub. Don’t make the mistake that many outsiders make by thinking you’re the big swinging dick in the room that charms the ladies out of their kimonos. Oftentimes, if you can’t speak the language, you’re missing out on a big chunk of red flags that may not come out until after you sign up for the “love” contract. If she isn’t getting much attention from the domestic crowd, it’s your job to find out why and jump ship if she has tendencies to boil bunnies alive.

as well as a few other things, like how he's insisting on talking about Moscow when I've already said that's not where I met women, because even back then it was more New York than anything. Oh well, doesn't matter now and saves me some time to continue writing.
10-07-2019 04:14 PM
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Eazy_E Offline
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Post: #11
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Don't argue with the trolls man, I'm trying to see where this is heading.
10-07-2019 04:25 PM
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ArcticTraveler Offline
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Post: #12
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Now we're talking. It's time to get the gears start turning again. Will follow this thread!
10-08-2019 11:33 AM
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AffNomad Offline
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Post: #13
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Thread abandoned?
10-11-2019 01:20 PM
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Solitaire Offline
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Post: #14
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
(10-11-2019 01:20 PM)AffNomad Wrote:  Thread abandoned?

Hello - no, I'm still around, just been super busy this week all of a sudden. I'm working with a good friend and another business partner, opening a brewery in our downtown area. The building permit just came through so everything is happening, finally.

I'll try to get to the conclusion this weekend.
10-11-2019 02:43 PM
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Oberrheiner Offline
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Post: #15
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Great start, was waiting for this too.
But yeah, brewery has priority, good luck !
10-11-2019 03:00 PM
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AffNomad Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
(10-11-2019 02:43 PM)Solitaire Wrote:  
(10-11-2019 01:20 PM)AffNomad Wrote:  Thread abandoned?

Hello - no, I'm still around, just been super busy this week all of a sudden. I'm working with a good friend and another business partner, opening a brewery in our downtown area. The building permit just came through so everything is happening, finally.

I'll try to get to the conclusion this weekend.

Glad to hear it, congrats on the permit!
10-11-2019 05:53 PM
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Kid Twist Offline
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Post: #17
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Yes, don't be dissuaded by the silly posting. Buck was a guy I saw posting on the old Russia thread and he was looking for attractive to very attractive girls without putting in much effort or trying to do anything fun with resources. That's not how it works with legit 7-8-9s, bro.

I've got a C-note that buck was an average joe trying to arbitrage at a time when it is far from easy, and beyond that, doesn't realize you have to be in a location for a while. You're not gonna get a girl to just drop her panties for an American who is a 5, let's be real --- especially for one that just buys her a cup of coffee, while she has no idea if he'll be around next week. Just retarded stuff.

Get your passport ready!
10-11-2019 11:40 PM
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Bill Stronfer Offline
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Post: #18
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
You have a very interesting story. I also talked with Russian girls on skype. They are a little frivolous. My girlfriend is from Poland and I met her on the website polish dating. I flew to Poland to meet her and I liked Krakow very much. We plan to get married next year. I've started to prepare documents for her moving to me
(This post was last modified: 10-12-2019 08:53 AM by Bill Stronfer.)
10-12-2019 08:52 AM
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Solitaire Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Thanks for the notes, guys. Yeah I'll get back onto this as soon as I can, hopefully tonight - I'm a nightowl anyway. My brother's visiting from Playa del Carmen (he bought a house there about four years ago, smart ex-pat now) so I'll be busy this evening. Bill, congrats on the Polish fiance. In a nutshell, I think my advice for dating Russian women would be the same as American: wife material is, in general, out in the small towns and provinces, away from the lure of unbridled decadence to be had in the big cities. I watched my sweet Russian wife change into a crazed, consuming, materialistic maniac ... but getting ahead of myself! Cheers guys, thanks for the encouragement.
(This post was last modified: 10-12-2019 11:17 AM by Solitaire.)
10-12-2019 11:17 AM
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debeguiled Offline
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Post: #20
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
(10-12-2019 11:17 AM)Solitaire Wrote:  I watched my sweet Russian wife change into a crazed, consuming, materialistic maniac ... but getting ahead of myself! Cheers guys, thanks for the encouragement.

There was a comment on a thread which is lost to my memory where a guy flew a Russian girl out to L.A. and he took her to an In-N-Out Burger and she uttered the chilling phrase: "Hey, this food tastes gooood."

“That sig BTW is a very asinine anti-family anti-parent quote. You live in a country where 40% of children grow up without a biological father, yet somehow “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents”? Sorry but this is fruity Boomer nonsense.”

911
10-12-2019 12:19 PM
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jcrew247 Offline
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Post: #21
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
Do any russian girls use "Learning English" apps
such as italki?
Or is it easier to meet them on Badoo or some
other online networking app?
10-14-2019 07:10 PM
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eradicator Offline
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Post: #22
RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
I have so many questions. How hard was it to day game (or night game for that matter) when you are not 100% fluent in the language or even a relative beginner?

Did you find girls in the rural provinces more open to talking to a foreign man who doesn't have 100% command of Russian language moreso than the bigger cities? Props for getting it done.

Team yoga pants
[video=youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-UoeQOC-5iw&t=143s[/video]
10-14-2019 10:05 PM
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WanderingFlame Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
(10-14-2019 07:10 PM)jcrew247 Wrote:  Do any russian girls use "Learning English" apps
such as italki?
Or is it easier to meet them on Badoo or some
other online networking app?

There are many of them, yes, but they're also wise to dudes who aren't serious about learning Russian using it to pick them up.

I have a Russian GF and she showed me her inbox on HelloTalk (another languages app). My Italki teacher has a small Insta account for teaching and she gets bombarded even on there. The thirst is real.

If you can actually speak Russian to a decent level, then you are in high demand on these sites/apps. But overtly trying to date them is incongruent with the purpose of the site. I'd say talk to them with the aim of learning Russian, and stick to Tinder for dating. Generally, Russia is about being direct and clear in your intentions. Tinder has more girls and they're higher quality.
10-15-2019 04:28 PM
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WanderingFlame Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
(10-14-2019 10:05 PM)eradicator Wrote:  I have so many questions. How hard was it to day game (or night game for that matter) when you are not 100% fluent in the language or even a relative beginner?

Did you find girls in the rural provinces more open to talking to a foreign man who doesn't have 100% command of Russian language moreso than the bigger cities? Props for getting it done.

They are interesting questions. I will chime in and give some points to consider, as an intermediate speaker (and obviously a beginner when I first visited). I haven't explicitly daygamed in Russia but I have spend a lot of time there and have spoken to a lot of people organically whilst going about my daily life. And of course have dated.

- Firstly, there are English speakers, but the vast majority don't speak sufficient English (or are too shy to use it), and the ones that do tend to be less attractive on average.
- You will likely attract attention and get numbers by speaking English, but you might struggle to get far with dating unless you're obviously connected to Russia long-term. Speaking the language is a great way to demonstrate that you are.
- In the provinces, you will for sure get more attention. I would describe my experiences in the provinces as 50/50 between rockstar and alien (sometimes extreme excitement, sometimes wary or even scared). But transitioning this attention beyond initial attraction is extremely difficult without, again, demonstrating that you're connected to Russia long-term. Particularly in the provinces. A foreigner who speaks no Russian will raise a lot of questions there.

In short, you'll attract a lot of attention and probably do quite well in terms of getting leads for dates, but may struggle to take things beyond this.
10-15-2019 04:54 PM
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AffNomad Offline
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RE: How I Found a Russian Bride
OP WYA?
10-27-2019 02:41 PM
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