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Newbie Advice for approaching women
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IWantSpamandEggs Offline
Pigeon

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Joined: Oct 2019
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Post: #1
Advice for approaching women
Hopefully i word my situation right within the rules of the forum.

Currently I am traveling through Eastern Europe, I have had no issues meeting women in Romania, Hungary, Czech Republic and Poland, but currently I am in the Ukraine, (one of the bigger cities) and I am having a lot of difficulty approaching women.

This is my personal opinion:

If i were to rate the women in the other countries, I would give them 7-8’s, but in Ukraine, i would give them a 8-8.5 in terms of looks. From personal experience, I met a lot of Ukrainian women with amazing personalities.

Overall:

If I were to give a number for my approach anxiety, in the previous mention countries were a 10, right now it feels like it is a 200. I understand there is a huge language barrier, and I am able to speak extremely broken Russian. I can understand like 1 in 10 words if they were to speak to me in Russian and like 1 in 50 in Ukrainian. I have no issues walking up to people and asking for help, but for some reason I am unable to approach them for romantic approach. Could anyone give me some advice?

Thanks
10-23-2019 11:31 AM
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Sensei Creation Offline
Robin
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Posts: 249
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Post: #2
RE: Advice for approaching women
I have probably done over 1000 day approaches.

If your nervous, warm up by going indirect and then making your intentions during the conversation.

For instance open by asking someone for directions, drop a lot of bait about where your from etc and if you can get a vibe going, switch to direct by saying something like "by the way I think you look nice" or " I appreciate your help but the truth is I thought you looked attractive and I wasn't sure how to approach you".

Whatever, adjust as you see fit spending on what character you are playing.

Another tip is, if you are really nervous, only direct approach girls that give you IOIs.

Just keep practising eventually you will find get more confortable.
(This post was last modified: 10-23-2019 01:31 PM by Sensei Creation.)
10-23-2019 01:31 PM
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Eban Offline
Sparrow

Posts: 66
Joined: Mar 2019
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Post: #3
RE: Advice for approaching women
Also try to gain social momentum by approaching anyone (fat chicks, old ladies, etc), make conversations with cashiers/bartenders/girls at work. If you are new at this the first 3-4 approaches are basically warm up so look at them as that.
10-23-2019 02:26 PM
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jayyrod1 Offline
Robin
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Posts: 159
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Post: #4
RE: Advice for approaching women
Learn the language of the country.

Once you've done that, if you still have approach anxiety then you need to look inward to find the source of that anxiety and stem it.

We can advise you on what to do but nothing will help if you dont understand where it's coming from in the first place.

My personal opinion is that your anxiety is directly related to your inability to converse in Ukranian.
10-23-2019 02:48 PM
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IWantSpamandEggs Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 19
Joined: Oct 2019
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Post: #5
RE: Advice for approaching women
Thank you. Now that you’ve pointed it out I think you might be right... or at least for now (it could be other reasons, but that seems to be the most prevalent).

Do you or anyone else have any advice on a short term fix, or get into the mental mind of doing the approach. I know the best option is my just to keep approaching and I know there are a lot of women out there. But I would rather she reject me for other reasons rather than us not communicate.

As far as the indirect approach is concern, unfortunately I have not had much success with it. I can’t seem to transition fast enough before they leave.
10-23-2019 03:05 PM
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jayyrod1 Offline
Robin
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Post: #6
RE: Advice for approaching women
Approach with any other language.
Russian will be your best bet if you can converse in it. Of course you can always use english though I'm not sure how much english the average ukranian knows.

This is all the short term advice I can give and I honestly dont like giving it because it may induce more anxiety.

Know this - if they respond in the language you have spoken to them, then they are at least interested in what you have to say.

I am positive that you will be rejected many times doing this. Know that it isn't personal and keep approaching.

Also try this....
Learn how to say ," I do not speak ukranian, may we talk in (insert language here)?"
Use that phrase to open with and dont be afraid to approach men as well. Befriend anyone who will speak to you in that language.

Once you make one friend this way then you will have a small relief of anxiety. The more friends you make, the more language you learn, then the less anxiety you will have over this.
10-23-2019 04:11 PM
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antman333 Offline
Sparrow

Posts: 63
Joined: Jul 2019
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Post: #7
RE: Advice for approaching women
I spent 3 weeks in budapest recently. I spent the first week opening in their language. After that I decided to just speak english. I had better interactions when I just spoke english, instead of trying to integrate into their culture. Just a thought
10-23-2019 04:50 PM
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IWantSpamandEggs Offline
Pigeon

Posts: 19
Joined: Oct 2019
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Post: #8
RE: Advice for approaching women
Thanks for the advice. I tried both taking to men and women. It did help a little with the approach, but for some reason I am having a lot more luck meeting men than woman.

Also I tried learning the language... unfortunately I can’t seem to use it when I need it.
10-25-2019 05:43 PM
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