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Shutting off Inner Dialogue
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afewgoodrats Offline
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Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Being an introvert, I have an insane amount of dialogue in my head. Most of it is negative. If I screw up I crap on myself in my head. If I'm afraid to do something my inner dialogue discusses what will go wrong and why I should be afraid. Does anyone else deal with this and how do you shut off inner dialogue for a silent peaceful mind?
10-29-2019 06:27 PM
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The Catalyst Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
I have come to the conclusion that meditation to shut off inner dialogue is useless for K selected people(conservatives, moderates).

Learn to be comfortable with negative thought, relax on the neuroticism/anxiety, focus on trying to overcome difficulty rather than avoiding it. Then you can use the dialogue to help you think logically about things and avoid NPC trap mindsets.
10-29-2019 06:33 PM
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afewgoodrats Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-29-2019 06:33 PM)The Catalyst Wrote:  I have come to the conclusion that meditation to shut off inner dialogue is useless for K selected people(conservatives, moderates).

Learn to be comfortable with negative thought, relax on the neuroticism/anxiety, focus on trying to overcome difficulty rather than avoiding it. Then you can use the dialogue to help you think logically about things and avoid NPC trap mindsets.

Why do you think meditation doesn't work for moderate people? Would it work for others?
10-29-2019 06:36 PM
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Repo Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Everyone even extrovets have that. Dont try to turn it off because that is impossible, this is one of the things that makes us human. Rsther, focus tuning your inner dialogue to solving problems. Think about what you could have done differently for next time, and run different scenarios in your head so your better prepared for anything.

This is easier when you set goals for yourself. Take time to meditate on what steps you can take to meet your goals. Eventually with dedication your thoughts will turn from negative to constructive.
10-29-2019 06:40 PM
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D'Kora Koloth Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
I found taking fish oil capsules helped calm my inner dialogue. Other brain nutrients are magnesium and zinc. Diet was very important to get my thoughts and behaviours more controllable.

I can't remember where, but I had read that not fighting with the dialogue is key. Don't give it fuel or extra attention, just accept the negative thought with a shrug and continue. Realizing I was not alone in my self deprecating thought and social anxieties helped me grow my confidence and now nearly everything rolls off me like water off a duck's back.
10-29-2019 06:59 PM
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Alpone Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Repo has a good point. Sometimes the dialog won't stop - but you can gently redirect it a little bit at a time. An example I use - sometimes when I'm thinking about a task I don't want to do or an unpleasant event, I used to think to myself, "Fuck". Now, I've changed that into "Fuck you" - meaning, I'm more aggressive against this negative emotion, and the phrase is a sort of call to action to complete a task, rather than a despairing statement.

Also, Eckart Toole's "Power of Now" has a lot of good advice about shutting off inner dialog. I read it last year but need to pick it up again to actually do the exercises and get more out of it.
10-29-2019 07:23 PM
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afewgoodrats Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-29-2019 06:59 PM)DKora Koloth Wrote:  I found taking fish oil capsules helped calm my inner dialogue. Other brain nutrients are magnesium and zinc. Diet was very important to get my thoughts and behaviours more controllable.

I can't remember where, but I had read that not fighting with the dialogue is key. Don't give it fuel or extra attention, just accept the negative thought with a shrug and continue. Realizing I was not alone in my self deprecating thought and social anxieties helped me grow my confidence and now nearly everything rolls off me like water off a duck's back.

Yeah that's what I try to do sometimes. I just let the dialogue happen and then basically detach myself from it, pretending it is just some uncontrollable parasite that I ignore and don't let it tell me how to feel or act.
10-29-2019 07:23 PM
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Bienvenuto Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
The best cure is to be a healthy happy human , doing the things that healthy happy humans do.

The more pleasant interactions and fun social activities that you have in your life the more your dialogue will brighten.

Trying to get your mind to work on your mind can be a difficult business, whereas interacting with others and engaging in activities, though awkward initially, will help to clear your thoughts a darn sight more and help to brighten the thoughts you do have.

Meditation etc. is good but it needs a healthy happy human mind as its basis: otherwise it can lead to problems.
10-30-2019 12:09 AM
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The Catalyst Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-29-2019 06:36 PM)afewgoodrats Wrote:  
(10-29-2019 06:33 PM)The Catalyst Wrote:  I have come to the conclusion that meditation to shut off inner dialogue is useless for K selected people(conservatives, moderates).

Learn to be comfortable with negative thought, relax on the neuroticism/anxiety, focus on trying to overcome difficulty rather than avoiding it. Then you can use the dialogue to help you think logically about things and avoid NPC trap mindsets.

Why do you think meditation doesn't work for moderate people? Would it work for others?

Hmm I'm not certain why it may help say liberals/r selected people. Probably negativity/thinking too much just overwhelms them.
10-30-2019 01:56 AM
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wwtl Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-29-2019 06:27 PM)afewgoodrats Wrote:  Being an introvert, I have an insane amount of dialogue in my head. Most of it is negative. If I screw up I crap on myself in my head. If I'm afraid to do something my inner dialogue discusses what will go wrong and why I should be afraid. Does anyone else deal with this and how do you shut off inner dialogue for a silent peaceful mind?

I dealt with it by stepping into my church half a year ago. That shut it off completely. Beforehand it was desperately trying to convince me to not go there and afterwards it got seriously aggravated, excoriating me for hours. Of course, I repeated that exercise two days later and afterwards told the hater to fuck off.

Since then I have peace of mind. Turned out it was the devil himself, who disguised itself as my "voice of reason", ruining my life for decades. Now it has to use other people to sew doubts and trying to stop me from listening to God, but I'm getting better at recognizing that as well.

I still have a mind speculating about outcomes, but it's usually imaging too positive things now like a child. So when I recognize that I smile at it and check it off. When the Lord inspires me, He does in a gentle voice full of love, which is distinctly different from the hate of the devil.
10-30-2019 05:46 AM
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Tail Gunner Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-29-2019 06:27 PM)afewgoodrats Wrote:  Being an introvert, I have an insane amount of dialogue in my head. Most of it is negative. If I screw up I crap on myself in my head. If I'm afraid to do something my inner dialogue discusses what will go wrong and why I should be afraid. Does anyone else deal with this and how do you shut off inner dialogue for a silent peaceful mind?

Meditation helped me to the degree that I do not even need to meditate any longer to control my thoughts (unless I am really upset). I simply realize that I am engaging in negative behavior and I choose to turn it off.

Meditation allowed me to realize that I could turn it off, which was the biggest obstacle for me. Meditation also made me realize that I am not my thoughts, but that because thoughts are something that emanate from me they are something that I can control. Something this profound and yet so elemental should be taught in the schools. It is a travesty that so many people suffer so needlessly because of the lack of education about something so fundamental. Imagine how many school shootings and other violent outbursts we could prevent as a society.

If I get really upset, I place a few drops of CBD oil under my tongue -- and the calming effect on my mind is almost instantaneous. I use Bluebird brand. Using just a drop or two under the tongue, a one-ounce bottle will last a long while. If you get on the mailing list, they have periodic sales of up to 30% off. They also sell small sample bottles. This is the exact product that I use, although they make other formulations:

https://bluebirdbotanicals.com/product/hemp-classic-6x/
(This post was last modified: 10-30-2019 07:07 PM by Tail Gunner.)
10-30-2019 07:03 PM
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afewgoodrats Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Replying to Tailgunner ^

Is there a specific type of meditation you recommend? The part about you not being your thoughts is what I try to internalize, treat them as a separate mind from your own.
10-30-2019 07:56 PM
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Tail Gunner Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-30-2019 07:56 PM)afewgoodrats Wrote:  Replying to Tailgunner ^

Is there a specific type of meditation you recommend? The part about you not being your thoughts is what I try to internalize, treat them as a separate mind from your own.

There are multiple threads on the forum, to which I have contributed, about meditation. Use the search function and you should find them.

While this is not the main method that I use, as a starting point try this very simple one-minute meditation that you can use many times during the day:





If you do not see significant results after a week or two, then try something more in-depth. I typically did a ten-minute meditation in the morning and then again at night (it took me a few months of practice, slowly improving from 20-30 minutes to only ten minutes to still my mind).
(This post was last modified: 10-30-2019 09:26 PM by Tail Gunner.)
10-30-2019 09:17 PM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
It's never going to shut off, especially for us introverts. I would say instead, change your thinking for the better.

Read good books and take notes on those books. For example, I read ,'Red Circle', an autobiography from a SEAL sniper. Great read, and he takes the time to explain some of the lessons he learned during his journey as a navy seal.

One of the best lessons in that book is, no matter what you're doing, make sure you do an excellent job. Because I took the time to write it out by hand, instead of thinking about how tired I am I work, I think about doing an excellent job instead.

What you're doing when you take notes from books like that is importing that persons way of thinking into your brain. Don't try to stop thinking. Just make your thinking better instead.

After talking to a young lady for a while, she told me “Even though your skin is black, I can tell your heart is white.”
10-31-2019 06:46 AM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Meditation and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) are the two main tools I used to get negative thoughts under control.

General breath focusing mindfulness meditation will eventually allow you to understand that you are not your thoughts and they can be controlled. The key is doing it dilligently and regularly until you get skilled at it. You will be bad at it when you start and that is to be expected. Just keep at it. Search for the meditation threads on this forum for more info.

CBT can be self taught out of a book, but for best results a trained therapist can guide you through it much faster. YMMV.
10-31-2019 07:32 AM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
I have a lot of negative inner dialogue, and I take four steps to deal with it:
1. Stand confidently with good posture and a smirk.
2. Briefly listen to the negative thoughts.
3. Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen.
4. Think "screw it" and do whatever I was considering anyway.

If you treat "screw it" as a valid reason to do things, a whole new world of possibility opens. And as you continue to make mildly risky decisions, you will get used to it, creating a positive feedback loop and making you more confident in the future.

Also, only watch movies or read books about people who are awesome. Don't allow yourself to get in the habit of consuming media that makes losers seem easy to identify with. If you fill your head with stories of people who are basically demigods, you will change your mental frame of reference for how to act. I find Jason Statham movies to be particularly valuable.
10-31-2019 09:04 PM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Eat healthy, exercise, and keep a regular prayer rule (a structured set of prayer services, a certain number of times per day). You'll either have no thoughts at all or mostly amused and enjoyable ones, at least in my experience.

Jewish convert to Orthodox Christianity and best-selling author of "On The Masons And Their Lies."
(This post was last modified: 11-01-2019 02:24 AM by MichaelWitcoff.)
11-01-2019 02:24 AM
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Tail Gunner Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(10-31-2019 09:04 PM)Emperor Constantine Wrote:  I have a lot of negative inner dialogue, and I take four steps to deal with it:
1. Stand confidently with good posture and a smirk.
2. Briefly listen to the negative thoughts.
3. Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen.
4. Think "screw it" and do whatever I was considering anyway.

If you treat "screw it" as a valid reason to do things, a whole new world of possibility opens. And as you continue to make mildly risky decisions, you will get used to it, creating a positive feedback loop and making you more confident in the future.

A similar way of processing negative thoughts:

   
11-01-2019 12:48 PM
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debeguiled Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
How do you get Kona's voice out of your head?

“That sig BTW is a very asinine anti-family anti-parent quote. You live in a country where 40% of children grow up without a biological father, yet somehow “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents”? Sorry but this is fruity Boomer nonsense.”

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11-01-2019 12:53 PM
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jph Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
Meditation worked for me, still have the 'thoughts' ... but not so negative - I found vipassana was amazing for me, super hard to sit for that long, but the benefits were really something. Worth doing if you can commit and it feels 'right' after reading about them
11-01-2019 04:55 PM
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Tail Gunner Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(11-01-2019 12:53 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  How do you get Kona's voice out of your head?

The same as with any other demon. Do not let it into your head to begin with.
11-01-2019 06:09 PM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
I'm a deep introvert and I also have this problem. Like others mentioned, you can't make your mind shut off all thoughts completely. If you did, then you would become a plant.

What you want to do instead is to be able to have the ability to switch your attention at will and sustain your attention to a chosen thought, activity or emotion as much as you desire.

I know people on this thread advised you to plant positive thoughts in your mind by reading about awesome people, or to take the stoic approach and imagine the worst case scenario and realize that it won't happen or it's out of your control. However, if your head is anything like mine (a wild storm beyond Thor's abilities) you would still screw yourself by mental masturbation, by having imaginary scenarios in your head that will never happen, either positive or negative. Obviously, you don't want to put mental crap in your mind, but having the ability to calmly switch your attention to one thing at will is much more powerful.

My advice is to start reading the book 'Attention Revolution' by Alan Wallace. He gives you training instructions on how to meditate properly to achieve samadhi, a state of relaxed attention for hours. He takes out religious attachments to any Buddhist or Hindu words and instead gives you specific instructions on how to meditate to hone your attention and feel relaxed at the same time. This is very important, because you can focus intensely for hours while feeling angry, anxious or excited and it's going to drain your energy, so relaxation is important.

Relaxed attention allows you to work on anything you like, memorize better, absorb information faster, and be more creative without burning out at the end of your deep work sessions.

I have been meditating for almost a month now and I have been upping the time. I am getting short flashes of mild samadhi here and there because I am still a novice and because I have encouraged over activity in my mind for as long as I can remember.

Here is how you want to practice:

1) Take a comfortable position like sitting down but straight to encourage airflow or lay down.

2) Breathe rhythmically and slowly. If you do 5 seconds inhale and 5 seconds exhale, keep it that way for the remainder of your practice.

3) Stay still as much as you can. A still body facilitates stillness of thoughts.

4) Keep relaxing your muscles, especially the facial muscles for more relaxation and stillness of thoughts.

5) Focus your attention on one thing constantly. It could be your breath, a certain sensation in your body, anything constant. Alan Wallace gives you examples in greater detail. If your attention wonders away, bring it back at the object of focus.

If you are religious you can repeat 'Κύριε Ιησου Χριστέ ελεησόν με', which roughly translates to 'Jesus Christ show me mercy', but I suggest that you learn to pronounce the Greek phrase to force yourself to pay more attention. I know, it's easy for me to say as native Greek, but it's worth the effort if you are serious about it.

Alternatively you can focus on counting your breaths while using a breathing pacer to help you inhale and exhale rhythmically without thinking about it.
11-02-2019 04:06 AM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
I like to smoke a bit fat reefer to turn my brain off, usually in the evening when I don’t have anything else to do because it definitely slows me down.

Don’t sweat the petty things, pet the sweaty things.
11-02-2019 07:13 AM
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
(11-01-2019 06:09 PM)Tail Gunner Wrote:  
(11-01-2019 12:53 PM)debeguiled Wrote:  How do you get Kona's voice out of your head?

The same as with any other demon. Do not let it into your head to begin with.

[Image: giphy.gif]

Easy for you to say.

“That sig BTW is a very asinine anti-family anti-parent quote. You live in a country where 40% of children grow up without a biological father, yet somehow “the greatest burden a child must bear is the unlived life of its parents”? Sorry but this is fruity Boomer nonsense.”

911
11-02-2019 12:57 PM
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Diocletian Offline
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RE: Shutting off Inner Dialogue
I have this problem myself, maybe worse then others. At times mine would get so bad that I would get extremely worked up, racing heart, if it was at a meal time I would even have trouble swallowing.

I found something that works for me. I still get it from time-to-time but the frequency and intensity has been drastically reduced.

What I'll do is once I realize I start getting those thoughts, I say with my inner voice "stop" and then say at least one Our Father or Hail Mary, again with the inner voice. In my case it doesn't seem to matter which one. These types of formulaic prayers work best for me, I think it may be because it is something that I can easily resort to--kind of like running to that place of safety that you know will help without having to put too much thought into it.

Scotian mentioned above smoking weed to slow your mind down. I tried that in the past, in fact I used to smoke quite a lot, but thank God I've gotten away from that habit. It always made the dialogue problem a whole lot worse because when I wasn't high a single negative experience would cause that dialogue to just totally flood my mind even worse than before, and then on top of that there's all the other negative effects of marijuana use.
11-11-2019 05:15 AM
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