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The Adoption Question
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Baa Baa Black Sheep Offline
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Post: #1
The Adoption Question
Members of RVF,

I created this thread for discussion and guidance concerning the act of adoption. In two of my most recent relationships, the women revealed to me that they either could not have children or had a high likelihood of being unable to conceive. My gut reaction to this news, both times I had received it, was to end the relationship. I have always believed that my calling in life is to be a father, but I always imagined that this would be of my own genetic offspring. We have been throwing around the word “cuck” since at least the 2016 election and this is how I have always regarded adoption to a degree, it is the act of raising another man’s child.

My request for guidance lies in the hesitation that I had to end these relationships. Had we been married as opposed to just dating, I think that my decision may have been different. If through the course of the marriage it is revealed that either party is sterile, I believe it may make sense to pursue adoption, especially within a Christian marriage where the two parties are considered one. However, it also calls into question other alternatives such as abstaining from children altogether, surrogacy or even possible divorce.

Despite society’s collective mentality that marriages are supposed to exist as a partnership of equals, I have always seen men and women as vastly unequal beings. However, I do believe that one exception bridges this gap substantially, and it is the creation of children within the marriage. If two people can equally exhaust their entire being into love for their child, they can find this love also for one another. Without this commonality to share, I cannot understand how the marriage can be sustainable. With this logic in mind, it seems that adoption distorts this natural phenomena since neither of the parents are genetic relatives, their love for the child is unbalanced for it, and hence amongst each other, and even more so if surrogacy is pursued.

I am not against adoption, in fact I believe it is generally good unless we are discussing transnational or transracial adoption, but I posed these questions to hear what your guys’ take was on this subject. Was I too hasty in ending these relationships?

Thanks!
10-30-2019 06:07 PM
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Post: #2
RE: The Adoption Question
(10-30-2019 06:07 PM)Baa Baa Black Sheep Wrote:  My request for guidance lies in the hesitation that I had to end these relationships.

I think you did the right thing. Personally, I would try to have biological children first.

Society tries to make adoption seem noble, normal, etc. The reality is that adoption is a serious situation. Many adopted people grow up with adandonment issues, which makes perfect sense. As the adopted parent, you'll have to to deal with these unpleasant emotions in your child. Raising a kid is hard enough...but throw in the problematic underpinnings of adoption and it's an extra challenge.

There is nothing wrong with being "selfish" in these matters. You only have one life and your future tranquility depends on making the correct decisions now.

"Action still preserves for us a hope that we may stand erect." - Thucydides (from History of the Peloponnesian War)
10-31-2019 01:52 AM
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Post: #3
RE: The Adoption Question
I think adoption can be a positive, what is the alternative? Let the woman be bored and childless, sitting at home battling the temptation of her iphone? Furthermore, the wife will retain all of her collagen, and delay saggy boobs and stretch marks.

The one example I can think of is a white couple at my old church that had adopted a black son. The kid is a high school football star now with genetics that the parents definitely did not have.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
10-31-2019 08:52 AM
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Augustus_Principe Offline
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Post: #4
RE: The Adoption Question
You absolutely did the right thing. I first have to ask, how old were these two women? What was their dating history? I ask this because you state that were you in a marriage to any of those women, things would be different. This then, should be a warning to all men. Do not marry old, used up women. Screen that the woman you decide to marry has not been on the pill at all, as the pill/plan B lowers fertility, is young (ideally 18-22 range), also ideally a virgin, if not a virgin then <5 partners, healthy (minimal use of alcohol, no smoking of any kind, no drug use, no abortions) and of course, not promiscuous, as continuous infection of STDs lowers fertility.

While women may have been able to get pregnant into their late 30s and maybe even 40 in times of old before all these endocrine disruptors(all these women have some story about an old relatively getting preggo at a late age), the same cannot be said about today's women. With all the junk that's in today's food & water, as well as the degenerate lifestyle people are living out, people are facing infertility as early as 30...Men must be careful too, as sperm counts and testosterone have dropped decade after decade so watch what you eat/drink, minimize the use of plastics etc. If you marry a woman past 30, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.
(This post was last modified: 10-31-2019 03:16 PM by Augustus_Principe.)
10-31-2019 02:27 PM
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Baa Baa Black Sheep Offline
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RE: The Adoption Question
(10-31-2019 02:27 PM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  You absolutely did the right thing. I first have to ask, how old were these two women? What was their dating history? I ask this because you state that were you in a marriage to any of those women, things would be different. This then, should be a warning to all men. Do not marry old, used up women. Screen that the woman you decide to marry has not been on the pill at all, as the pill/plan B lowers fertility, is young (ideally 18-22 range), also ideally a virgin, if not a virgin then <5 partners, healthy (minimal use of alcohol, no smoking of any kind, no drug use, no abortions) and of course, not promiscuous, as continuous infection of STDs lowers fertility.

While women may have been able to get pregnant into their late 30s and maybe even 40 in times of old before all these endocrine disruptors(all these women have some story about an old relatively getting preggo at a late age), the same cannot be said about today's women. With all the junk that's in today's food & water, as well as the degenerate lifestyle people are living out, people are facing infertility as early as 30...Men must be careful too, as sperm counts and testosterone have dropped decade after decade so watch what you eat/drink, minimize the use of plastics etc. If you marry a woman past 30, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

These women were 26 and 28 respectively. Both cited previous long term relationships where one went south because of alcohol abuse from her previous partner, which was apparently brought on by her infertility issues. (according to her) The other one cited a long term relationship that ended fairly abruptly, without a lot of information. Partner counts for both were probably between 5-10 at my best estimation.

I am utterly surprised how many young women I run across who instead of proclaiming that they want to have a lot of children one day instead are saying that they want to adopt. It baffles my mind. What reproductively capable human volitionally decides to end its genetic bloodline by sacrificing its time and resources to propagate the genetic line of another? I can’t put my finger on it, but something just feels wrong about that to me.
10-31-2019 09:20 PM
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Post: #6
RE: The Adoption Question
(10-31-2019 09:20 PM)Baa Baa Black Sheep Wrote:  
(10-31-2019 02:27 PM)Augustus_Principe Wrote:  You absolutely did the right thing. I first have to ask, how old were these two women? What was their dating history? I ask this because you state that were you in a marriage to any of those women, things would be different. This then, should be a warning to all men. Do not marry old, used up women. Screen that the woman you decide to marry has not been on the pill at all, as the pill/plan B lowers fertility, is young (ideally 18-22 range), also ideally a virgin, if not a virgin then <5 partners, healthy (minimal use of alcohol, no smoking of any kind, no drug use, no abortions) and of course, not promiscuous, as continuous infection of STDs lowers fertility.

While women may have been able to get pregnant into their late 30s and maybe even 40 in times of old before all these endocrine disruptors(all these women have some story about an old relatively getting preggo at a late age), the same cannot be said about today's women. With all the junk that's in today's food & water, as well as the degenerate lifestyle people are living out, people are facing infertility as early as 30...Men must be careful too, as sperm counts and testosterone have dropped decade after decade so watch what you eat/drink, minimize the use of plastics etc. If you marry a woman past 30, you're setting yourself up for disappointment.

These women were 26 and 28 respectively. Both cited previous long term relationships where one went south because of alcohol abuse from her previous partner, which was apparently brought on by her infertility issues. (according to her) The other one cited a long term relationship that ended fairly abruptly, without a lot of information. Partner counts for both were probably between 5-10 at my best estimation.

I am utterly surprised how many young women I run across who instead of proclaiming that they want to have a lot of children one day instead are saying that they want to adopt. It baffles my mind. What reproductively capable human volitionally decides to end its genetic bloodline by sacrificing its time and resources to propagate the genetic line of another? I can’t put my finger on it, but something just feels wrong about that to me.

I think a lot of women are terrified of the actual birthing process.

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
11-01-2019 06:14 AM
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JiggyLordJr Offline
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Post: #7
RE: The Adoption Question
Nature has deeply ingrained in you the desire to pass on your genetics, preferably with a woman blessed with equal or better genetics. If she can't conceive, she is a genetic dead end. If you cannot conceive, you are a genetic dead end. Full stop. This can be a tough pill to swallow, but if she cannot bear your child, then she is not worthy of your investment. Remember, a woman's value lies in her fertility, her femininity, and to a lesser degree, her looks. This is where the question of adoption comes in.

If you have to resort to raising another dude's kid, you've already lost. Do these kids deserve a good upbringing, despite being abandoned by their parents? Yeah of course, but life is random, and often unfair. You don't choose when or where you're born, let alone the circumstances you find yourself born into. In short, the abandoned kids drew the short straw. Barren women (often caused by lifestyle choices) like to virtue signal by adopting some "poor child" from some backwards 3rd world shithole, where no one blinks an eye when someone runs off on their kid. But as a red pill man, you know better than to fall pray to these "feels." It sucks that the world is like this, but there is no shortage of low-IQ nimwits who have kids when they are not ready, and then make a run for it at the first opportunity. Such is dysgenics.

Face the world with your balls pointed forward: it's your seed, and you gotta spread it. In modern days, this spread is generally limited to one woman, which means that choosing her is one of the most important decisions of your life. If she can't give you the one thing she was made for, she must be cast aside. Yes, this is cold, but so is nature. Seek out a fertile woman; anything less is spitting in the wind of all who have come before you.
(This post was last modified: 11-01-2019 06:39 AM by JiggyLordJr.)
11-01-2019 06:38 AM
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Post: #8
RE: The Adoption Question
Adoption works out badly. Besides the issue of raising another man's child, and the failure to reproduce yourself, it's a practical issue.

Adopted children feel a lack of connection to their adopted parents when they get old enough to understand adoption, and they do not feel the same respect or obligation to obey that biological children do. This makes the experience of raising them very unpleasant, especially in teenage years. As adults, they are more likely to drift away, so you will not have the experience of having children and grandchildren who look like you and love you.

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11-01-2019 09:37 AM
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Post: #9
RE: The Adoption Question
If you have ever been in a government run children's home - holy moly it's a whole other level of dysfunction. I would say at least 30% of the boys will end up in prison and the other 70% will be plebs at best, although in pre commie clown world this doesn't mean much, in a normal world where males achieve and women breed it's like a CEO adopting someone of genetic quality so low he will either be a criminal or janitor. Sounds like a plan?
11-01-2019 12:03 PM
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RE: The Adoption Question
(10-31-2019 09:20 PM)Baa Baa Black Sheep Wrote:  I am utterly surprised how many young women I run across who instead of proclaiming that they want to have a lot of children one day instead are saying that they want to adopt. It baffles my mind. What reproductively capable human volitionally decides to end its genetic bloodline by sacrificing its time and resources to propagate the genetic line of another? I can’t put my finger on it, but something just feels wrong about that to me.

Women are social creatures who, at their core, just want to be accepted by the group (see how they readily asquiesce to fashion trends). This desire to conform is a noble quality to some extent. However, the Satanic elements in control of the media realize that this beneficial trait can also be used to lure women over to the dark side.

Therefore, every counterintuitive instinct is forced upon young Western women: i.e. adoption, abortion, arm-sleeve tattoos, lesbianism, etc. They are also reminded that if they fail to submit, they will be forever ostracized. Thus, a large portion of them comply only to later regret their decisions.

The only thing that can save women from these Satanic overlords is a strong family unit with a red-pilled Patriarchal father in charge. Unfortunately, most women lack this so they quickly fall under the spell of some media guru or NPC schlub.

"Action still preserves for us a hope that we may stand erect." - Thucydides (from History of the Peloponnesian War)
11-08-2019 08:44 AM
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Buddydowrongright2 Offline
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Post: #11
RE: The Adoption Question
(10-30-2019 06:07 PM)Baa Baa Black Sheep Wrote:  Members of RVF,

I created this thread for discussion and guidance concerning the act of adoption. In two of my most recent relationships, the women revealed to me that they either could not have children or had a high likelihood of being unable to conceive. My gut reaction to this news, both times I had received it, was to end the relationship. I have always believed that my calling in life is to be a father, but I always imagined that this would be of my own genetic offspring. We have been throwing around the word “cuck” since at least the 2016 election and this is how I have always regarded adoption to a degree, it is the act of raising another man’s child.

My request for guidance lies in the hesitation that I had to end these relationships. Had we been married as opposed to just dating, I think that my decision may have been different. If through the course of the marriage it is revealed that either party is sterile, I believe it may make sense to pursue adoption, especially within a Christian marriage where the two parties are considered one. However, it also calls into question other alternatives such as abstaining from children altogether, surrogacy or even possible divorce.

Despite society’s collective mentality that marriages are supposed to exist as a partnership of equals, I have always seen men and women as vastly unequal beings. However, I do believe that one exception bridges this gap substantially, and it is the creation of children within the marriage. If two people can equally exhaust their entire being into love for their child, they can find this love also for one another. Without this commonality to share, I cannot understand how the marriage can be sustainable. With this logic in mind, it seems that adoption distorts this natural phenomena since neither of the parents are genetic relatives, their love for the child is unbalanced for it, and hence amongst each other, and even more so if surrogacy is pursued.

I am not against adoption, in fact I believe it is generally good unless we are discussing transnational or transracial adoption, but I posed these questions to hear what your guys’ take was on this subject. Was I too hasty in ending these relationships?

Thanks!

Only you know in your heart what is right. If biological children are very important to you, find a woman who can have kids and do it that way. But every child needs and deserves loving parents. I plan to adopt whether or not I am able to ever have my own, biological children. Financial stability and being able to provide a positive and emotionally healthy environment for my kids to learn, grow, and play in is a lot more important to me personally than whether or not they carry my DNA.

"If you're gonna raise a ruckus, one word of advice: if you're gonna do wrong, buddy, do wrong right."
11-12-2019 12:04 PM
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Post: #12
RE: The Adoption Question
I think from a parenting perspective, adoption is fine. You will have a relationship with your child whether it is your dna or not. I think that aspect is overrated.

I think the more important thing to think about and less often discussed is the dna of kids who get put up for adoption. If you think about it, they don't come from the best families. My best friend adopted a boy, and while he's a nice kid he's a little off. I've dated a few chinese women in the U.S. raised by white parents who were a little crazy as well (cutting, suicide attempts, etc).

I dont know how to describe this phenomenon, but there is a debate about nurture and nature. Nature has a role. And with adoption you don't know what you are getting.
11-13-2019 04:42 AM
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Post: #13
RE: The Adoption Question
I think adoption makes sense if the marital partners enter their marriage in good faith and with clear intent to have children, but after numerous unsuccessful attempts they discover that one or both of them are infertile. That is fulfilling the spirit of marriage and family through alternative but wholesome means.

It also makes sense for a married couple that already has children of its own and adopts another child. That is fulfilling the spirit of charity and giving by sharing the gift of your family.

Adoption for other cases (a couple that has entered marriage knowing that its infertile, single parent adoption, etc.) IMO makes sense only in a critically important emergency, such as your cousin and his wife dying in an accident and leaving orphans behind.

I don't think that you should be getting married already planning to adopt, especially if it's only one party that's infertile (as opposed to both, where no one is sacrificing or giving up anything anyway). There's just something off about it, and it's definitely wrong to demand from the person that is able to have their own children.

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11-15-2019 05:20 AM
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