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Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
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raveking Offline
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Post: #1
Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Looking for some veteran help and advice, what do you if your girlfriends parents (specifically the mom) don't like you for whatever reason? I understand it's important to maintain frame where you should wondering if she's good enough for you and your family and not the other way around. However, for whatever reason I feel bothered? Probably because it's important for me to have the blessing and support of the girl's family. Even you don't believe it makes a difference or doesn't matter, it certainly doesn't hurt. Her mom seemed to have a problem with almost all of her exes and has a specific "criteria" (must have a lot of money, most have his own place even she won't let her move in with him, etc.)

I haven't really seen this topic brought up before so I would like to hear some thoughts and opinions?
11-03-2019 12:24 AM
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TooFineAPoint Offline
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Post: #2
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Either she'll come around, or she's a total toxic lost cause who will poison everything around her daughter. Time will tell. Either way, you keep being a good man for her daughter and then if it turns out to be the second option you'll need to have a heart to heart with your girlfriend about how she is going to handle it.

It's normal that you feel bothered by it. What would not be cool is if you let it get to you and affect how you act.
11-03-2019 01:26 AM
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TigOlBitties Offline
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Post: #3
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Don't put yourself in a position where you feel like you have to prove yourself to them, and end up letting yourself get taken advantage of financially and emotionally. It sounds like the mom is an entitled gold digger, and is setting the daughter up to be one too. It's also not a good sign that your girl has a lot of exes.

Imagine spending a lot of your time and energy trying to please these people, and then constantly wondering if you're making the right moves while ruining your own happiness. I would have the mentality that the mom can kiss your ass, without saying it of course. Be polite and avoid drama, but stick to who you are. Your girl may respect you and act better, or she can find another guy to be their sucker.
11-03-2019 01:31 AM
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #4
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Continue to be respectful to her mom.

The most important thing is how does your girl react in this situation.

Does she back you up? Does she follow your lead over her mom?

After several months go by and things don't seem to improve, I would just distance myself from her mom and her gatherings. Some people just don't get along. Your girl needs to follow you do though. No exceptions.
11-03-2019 02:52 AM
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Bienvenuto Offline
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Post: #5
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Its usually a good sign if the parents don't like you at first. It can mean that you're a threat to them for all manner of reasons.

My experience is that the ones the parents actually do like a whole lot don't last very long as they don't really do it for the daughter..
And vice versa.

Be respectful to her.
Take it as the backhanded compliment that it is.
Either way, whether it works out with this chick or not, the important thing is what you want for yourself, not what she wants of you for her daughter.
11-03-2019 05:54 AM
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MajorStyles Offline
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Post: #6
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
One thing that is rarely spoken of in the greater media is the complexity of mother-in-laws. Instead, we get anally pounded with "Fun Fearless Females," Captain Marvel's feminism, #MeToo, etc.

And then, there are so many hard-core realities with mother-in-laws: i.e. their silent (or not-so-silent) wars with their daughter-in-laws, their theatrics for attention, their disapproval of otherwise insignificant items, etc. Often times, if the mother-in-law is still married, we find a husband that has emotionally "checked out" and does not care to interfere with the soap opera.

In short, the same complexities that apply to girlfriends/wives in general can be extended to mothers.

This is one reason that, in the United States, you often find a married couple that lives far away from the mother: i.e. in a different state. The reason is supposed to be a job offer, better school system, etc. In reality, the children are trying to place distance between themselves and an overly meddlesome mother.

I would add that this topic is old. One of my favorite examples of this is the plant known as Mother-in-law's tongue:

[Image: ?u=https%3A%2F%2F2ecffd01e1ab3e9383f0-07...amp;nofb=1]

"Action still preserves for us a hope that we may stand erect." - Thucydides (from History of the Peloponnesian War)
11-03-2019 07:51 AM
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PapayaTapper Online
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Post: #7
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
(11-03-2019 12:24 AM)raveking Wrote:  Her mom seemed to have a problem with almost all of her exes and has a specific "criteria" (must have a lot of money, most have his own place even she won't let her move in with him, etc.)

How many of the girl's exes are you discussing with her mother?

Maybe the mom thinks youre just another in a long line of her daughter's bad decisions thats just taking his turn

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


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11-03-2019 02:12 PM
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Simeon_Strangelight Offline
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Post: #8
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Those things often change - especially when you are married and have grandkids. Sometimes parents have lousy views over men - don't know jack shit. Some parents are spot-on in their assessment. Treat them politely and be patient.
11-04-2019 08:03 AM
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BlastbeatCasanova Offline
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Post: #9
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Be respectful but try to suss out if she’s being ornery or if she’s just a straight-up cunt. Whatever girl you stick with either in marriage or whatever, you’re pretty much stuck with her parents too. Even if the girl is great, toxic in-laws are a deal breaker.
11-04-2019 01:44 PM
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Greyman Offline
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Post: #10
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
(11-04-2019 01:44 PM)BlastbeatCasanova Wrote:  Be respectful but try to suss out if she’s being ornery or if she’s just a straight-up cunt. Whatever girl you stick with either in marriage or whatever, you’re pretty much stuck with her parents too. Even if the girl is great, toxic in-laws are a deal breaker.

I'd like to hear more on this. Men who do have a great woman, and who's parents are together but the mother is...toxic.
11-07-2019 01:03 PM
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Polniy_Sostav Offline
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Post: #11
RE: Girlfriend's Parents Dont like me
Talk to the grandpa alone without the grandma , and mention that you have the impression that she doesn't like you.
Ask if it s because you are paranoid or it s because maybe your personalities are incompatible ?
Be respectful and polite and if the grandpa tells you that it is because of X and X , be inquiring and try to understand the issues.
11-07-2019 01:08 PM
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