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Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
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TigOlBitties Offline
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Post: #551
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
I don't think there's anything wrong with committing to a woman, so long as you're compatible and not trying to force anything. The odds are low, but I do believe it's still possible.

However, I will never get married in the United States. It has become an absolute disgrace and way too risky. If it ever ends up being a dealbreaker, then so be it. I'm not risking my sanity because other people say I should. I don't need the State getting any more involved in my life than it already is, and State approval is not necessary to raise a family either. Someone else mentioned it earlier, but playing this game would be enabling the fucked up system.
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2019 12:56 AM by TigOlBitties.)
11-27-2019 12:53 AM
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Post: #552
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-26-2019 11:32 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 10:02 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 06:25 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  Ok what do you want to know? Ask away.

How old are you, your children and grandchildren?

51, Four kids 24,22,17,17. No grandkids.

Are the kids men or women and at what ages did the 24 and 22 year olds get married?
11-27-2019 01:14 AM
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doc holliday Offline
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Post: #553
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 01:14 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 11:32 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 10:02 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 06:25 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  Ok what do you want to know? Ask away.

How old are you, your children and grandchildren?

51, Four kids 24,22,17,17. No grandkids.

Are the kids men or women and at what ages did the 24 and 22 year olds get married?

Ah I see, so rather than asking some thoughtful questions about the ups and downs of family life, you want to turn this into an interrogation as a way of discrediting me. Not surprising that you are disingenuous but ok sure I'll play along with your silliness. I have both boys and girls and no one is married yet. Just like you. Although they're young and you ain't. Whatever man, enjoy your weed and your fat Tinder hoes while I enjoy my beautiful family.
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2019 02:19 AM by doc holliday.)
11-27-2019 02:04 AM
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Post: #554
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 02:04 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 01:14 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 11:32 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 10:02 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 06:25 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  Ok what do you want to know? Ask away.

How old are you, your children and grandchildren?

51, Four kids 24,22,17,17. No grandkids.

Are the kids men or women and at what ages did the 24 and 22 year olds get married?

Ah I see, so rather than asking some thoughtful questions about the ups and downs of family life, you want to turn this into an interrogation as a way of discrediting me. Not surprising that you are disingenuous but ok sure I'll play along with your silliness. I have both boys and girls and no one is married yet. Just like you. Although they're young and you ain't.

It quickly illustrates the point that your example wasn't enough for your own children, you shouldn't expect strangers on the Internet to think much more if it. And they're only a few years younger than me.

(11-27-2019 02:04 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  Whatever man, enjoy your weed and your fat Tinder hoes.

I find it odd that a man in his 50s gets that upset at a stranger online. You seem unhinged. And you added that last line as an edit - like you wanted one last screech into the darkness. Sad.
11-27-2019 02:23 AM
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ilostabet Offline
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Post: #555
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
It_is_my time:

I was suddenly struck by the irony of your username given your current positions – if you feel that way, and maybe you have valid reasons maybe you don’t, then it will never be your time for anything. I think you made a mistake postponing everything for 20 years. Saving is good, but don't be obsessive about it - especially given that all your savings, unless they are in gold or solid physical assets that the government cannot or will not confiscate, will mean shit.

First let me clarify this, I’m not Gen X. I’m late Gen Y. The shit economy, the changing demographics, I’ve seen it all - but bear in mind, I live in a barely-first world country, not in the capital state of the western empire, the US. So some things, like the poz and the violence, are faster and worse there (in some places at least), but also the money and the opportunities. We’ve had some pretty shit years here in PT in terms of jobs, housing market, etc – and the truth is, we never really recovered. I earn a good salary for today’s economy, but then it’s slashed in half by taxes, and then again in half by rent.

The thing you say about having relatives and colleagues with "families", I do too. I see how shit it is – but I also see what kind of people and parents they are. Both parents work. Kids are handed off to nannies since they're 6 months old. They just watch TV, or play with their phones, so that’s the culture the kids have. They don’t talk to them, don’t sing to them, don’t read to them. Yes, kids can be a pain in waking up at the middle of the night, but not every single night as some colleagues report to me: then one day they bring their toddler to the office to parade it to the cat ladies and make them jealous, and the kid always has a tablet or a phone in their hands. What a surprise the kid can’t sleep properly. No one can, much less a child.

Obviously, it will still be difficult, it will still be hard work. I may have to go back to eating canned sardines for a year or two, or get another job, or monetize some of my hobbies more seriously - so that my wife can stay at home and actually be a parent. A lot of millennial parents are having shit marriages and shit kids because they suck at being people and at being parents. They are merely reactionary slobs who sit in front of the tv or their phones and can’t do anything else. They complain they have no money, but they pay Netflix subscriptions, go to festivals and travel (and I mean, even the ones with kids ffs). They have no hobbies (entertainment isn’t a hobby), they have no interests, they have nothing in their minds besides gossip and bullshit culture. How are they going to be happy? They wouldn’t be happy even if God blessed them with all the things they complain about. They would find some other way to mess things up – cause it’s not the money, it’s not the time, it’s not the job, it’s not the culture: it’s them being shit and wanting to belong to that culture, not caring about the education (not schooling) of their children, which starts in the womb. Then they wonder why the kid is almost 2 years old and can’t say a word properly. My shock. Imagine it.

Back to the finding a good woman, this is much more difficult to figure out – at least for me because I got extremely lucky. While I looked, I didn’t find anything worth keeping – and my purpose was pretty much always to have a serious relationship, not just hook up. But I could never find any girl worth keeping at university, or at the jobs I had, or during night outs. Then I ended up dating and marrying the little sister of an old friend, whose family I also knew for a long time. So, hardly any actionable advice.

Given how terrible things are in that department the only place to start that I can think of would be to get involved in church activities and volunteering at planting trees or something that deals with nature.

But it’s easy to say what things to avoid. Like jumping out as soon as you hear the words ‘I like to travel’. That’s how I filter our relations now anyway, men or women, for any non-work related purpose. Usually if they say they like to travel, you can be sure they are idiots. That and tattoos. If they have tattoos, especially big ones, or small ones that they are proud of and intend to have more. Another one is if they really like to ‘go out’ and ‘dance’. I mean, this isn’t rocket science. But you have to be open to people. My brother in law is dating a good girl, which I think would make a good wife. And my wife probably wouldn’t be happy for me to say this, but I’ve met a few girls at the office during the last 4 years that could be marriage material and that, if I wasn’t tied I could have picked up, and I’m sure with the right influence of the right man they would be good wives. Unfortunately for them, they don’t have such men in their lives. So where are the good men also, who aren’t alienated idiots who only care about entertainment and have no projects? Is it just a matter of disconnection, where they don’t know where each other are and can’t find a way to meet? Possibly. But I know this: I have a friend who is always bitching about not finding good women. What does he do? Nothing. He has a paid scholarship for 4 years, of which he is in the 3rd. He hasn’t done shit. He just plays video games and goes to college to drink. And then he bitches about not finding good women. What good woman would want him? Then he gets pissed at me when I tell him this.

So, it's difficult, it's very difficult. There will be trials. There will be pain. But you can kind of choose what kind of pain. Some comforts will go. The comfort of a loving wife and polite kids will more than make up for it.

We made too many wrong mistakes. Yogi Berra
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2019 04:26 AM by ilostabet.)
11-27-2019 04:22 AM
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Post: #556
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 02:23 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 02:04 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 01:14 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 11:32 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 10:02 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  How old are you, your children and grandchildren?

51, Four kids 24,22,17,17. No grandkids.

Are the kids men or women and at what ages did the 24 and 22 year olds get married?

Ah I see, so rather than asking some thoughtful questions about the ups and downs of family life, you want to turn this into an interrogation as a way of discrediting me. Not surprising that you are disingenuous but ok sure I'll play along with your silliness. I have both boys and girls and no one is married yet. Just like you. Although they're young and you ain't.

It quickly illustrates the point that your example wasn't enough for your own children, you shouldn't expect strangers on the Internet to think much more if it. And they're only a few years younger than me.

(11-27-2019 02:04 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  Whatever man, enjoy your weed and your fat Tinder hoes.

I find it odd that a man in his 50s gets that upset at a stranger online. You seem unhinged. And you added that last line as an edit - like you wanted one last screech into the darkness. Sad.

Shame on you. Look at you accusing him, and mocking and jeering. Your posts are pure toxic. Your pussy beta cowardice drips off your writing. I wish I could show you some charity but I'm disgusted by your posts.
You seem to profess some amazing knowledge and insight from your time on this forum. Good for you. 90% of this forum is degenerates and faggots like you rationalising their sin, cowardice, apathy and inaction and then passing this off as advice to the next round of coward rubes. This forum should serve as a warning and not advice to men.
Everybody talking doom and gloom, about economic collapse, recession, how hard life is, divorce rape. Maybe many of you got divorce raped because of the things you did or didn't do. Bunch of pussies blaming everyone else and refusing to step up, confront themselves, and then take life by the scruff of the neck and go forth.
All faggots like you, captain stabbin, do is to the undermine the spirit and gusto of the more unblemished men out there. You are the misery that seeks company, and you will have no problems finding it here. The relationships sub-forum is full of types like you. Men who convince themselves not to even bother trying because they're convinced they're going to lose. They read and read and read as a way of dealign with their fear instead of taking action. Others are like the parable of the man with all the grain who wants to build another barn to hold his massive store, instead of putting it to good use.
Scorpion's post was gold, but it's pearls before swine for men like you.
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2019 05:52 AM by niledelta.)
11-27-2019 05:32 AM
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It_is_my_time Offline
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Post: #557
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 04:22 AM)ilostabet Wrote:  So, it's difficult, it's very difficult. There will be trials. There will be pain. But you can kind of choose what kind of pain. Some comforts will go. The comfort of a loving wife and polite kids will more than make up for it.

I appreciate the kind words, but I don't think you understand where I am coming from. I am older than you. I have been out of college for 20 years, and in that time I have worked 7 days a week, most every week, and lived beyond cheap. The sacrifices you talk about and others talk about, are still living above my current life standard. I live on nothing and save everything, simply because I knew 20 years ago it would take these type of sacrifices to have anything nice. I don't drink/smoke/eat out, have not been drunk since I was in college, don't travel, don't chase women, don't date, my clothes are all presents, I drive a 12 year old car, etc, etc.

I have the resources to have a family, or at least very soon I will have them. I can afford to move to a smaller town, my wife stay home with the kids, and I could work part time or probably not even have to work at all. I am extremely blessed that I am in this position. It took a combination of 20 years of good health to work these crazy hours and no big shocking gut punch life can throw at you (such as a parent's early death or major catastrophe). There are two major reasons I am not moving on an starting a family and this is why I am trying my best to bridge the gap between the boomers and Gen X's who say "work harder, live on less" and the Gen Z saying "that still isn't enough". Gen Z is right in this battle.

#1) Finding a good woman. Like you said that is VERY difficult. Society is set up to keep women from being feminine and motherly. I wouldn't even know where to start and I know tons of people. I socialize a lot. Things are very bleak out there, I probably will eventually just retire and move to Europe for a year to try to find a wife and bring her back, it is that bad out there. And I am in the Midwest, not the horrible coasts. I shudder to think how bad they must be.

#2) The serious issue of where this country is heading. It wasn't so obvious a few years ago, but now it is obvious just where this country is heading. Just as the question above, if you knew the Titanic was going to sink ahead of time would you take your kids on board. Reading up on the Bolshevik horrors but knowing the world was much bigger back then and there was some escape routes and possibility of outside help makes me realize we are in for that times about 3. Do I want to bring kids into that? I haven't decided but it isn't a decision I take lightly. And if good men all have 4 kids, it isn't going to be enough now, it is too late for that as well. We would need a time machine and to go back 40 years to fix things. We might be lucky to "balkinize" the country and the Midwest remain what America once was, but that will take an enormous effort.

But I do greatly appreciate the kind words on this forum and the men taking this situation seriously and discussing it and disagreeing and being polite and mature about it. I think this is the most important discussion we can have on this forum as we end 2019 and it is obvious where we are heading.
11-27-2019 05:38 AM
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ilostabet Offline
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Post: #558
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
I understand more than you think, just from another side of things.

As I said, you made a mistake postponing all those things. The same way it’s regrettable to waste all your time with video games, movies and travel, it’s regrettable to do the exact opposite and deny yourself some time to just chill, especially for 20 years, and with a purpose for which the basics (having a wife to build it with) was not met yet.

You have to realize that it was a mistake by now. But more importantly, some mistakes cannot be undone. You cannot go back. You probably would have been better trying to find a woman and having less money, and sort things out as you go.

I made a mistake that perhaps will impact my life forever, one I alluded to before: I may have squandered the ability to have my own children. Some would say, just divorce and get another one. Or impregnate another woman. Or in vitro. Or whatever.

No.

I have to live with the consequences of my sin. Not everything can be resolved, we don’t always deserve a second chance – and even if we do, we might not get it. Many old players are realizing it now. They cannot have their cake and eat it too. They spent too much time eating cake. The cake is gone. They won’t be able to have a wife and family. They have spent the ‘relationship glue’ as Roosh put it.

I was scolded earlier in this thread for bringing this back to “philosophy” instead of keeping it “real”, but I think this artificial separation is part of the problem, so allow me to bring it back.

Where is the one time in the Gospels where Jesus calls someone Satan? Not the sons of Satan, not doing Satan’s biding. No, Satan himself.

Within ten verses of Peter recognizing Him for the God Incarnate, and Christ telling Peter He will build His Church upon him and that the keys to Heaven are his, Jesus calls him Satan. Why? Because Peter tried to save Jesus from the cross. In other words, he tried to avoid the necessary suffering for salvation. This is what we try to do in the West all the time. We want all the blessings without all the suffering. Doesn’t exist. The suffering and the blessing come together. No surprise that afterwards Peter tried again to save Jesus with the sword (not realizing that the sword Jesus talked about should be pointed inwards, not outwards), and even less surprise when this unwillingness to accept the cross made Peter deny him repeatedly.

The recognition that the world is going to shit is true. But the more important realization is that this suffering is what will save it. It’s like that quote, don’t think about what will be the punishment for the modern world: the modern world is the punishment. All the amenities, the easy access to food, shelter, comfort – that is the punishment. The punishment of having no cross to bear. This is why Communism, with its intense suffering and shit conditions, didn’t kill the Church (it could be argued that it made it stronger), and why Capitalism, with its amazing material benefits, is doing it – and we only noticed it too late. It didn’t abolish Jesus with a vengeance, it simply took his cross away, it made him the ‘buddy Jesus’. It removed the necessary conditions for life to flourish – and those conditions are hardship. Why would anyone need Jesus when their bellies are full and their minds are numbed with entertainment? This is the small, nice acceptance of Jesus as savior without the suffering that led Peter to deny him. This what the Christian West did. I found a quote recently from Seraphim Rose in which he says that the antichrist is not in the harsh deniers, but the small affirmers - and affirming Jesus with the lips but avoiding the cross is precisely the sin of the West. This is why the antichrist did not arise with the darkness and misery of communism, but will arise in the brightness and comfort of capitalism.

This is also why non-first world countries still have vitality, whereas 'developed' countries have none and are being conquered. All the conspiracies in the world cannot explain why our own populations have fallen so low. For a weakness to be exploited, it must be there in the first place. This weakness is simply what happens when you remove the necessity, the discipline, of the cross.

So the knowledge of how the world is going to shit shouldn’t make you ponder if bringing kids into this is moral. It is precisely because the world is going to shit that non-ascetic men, which are the majority, must bring kids into this. The kids will suffer. So will we. That is the natural way of life. Suffering is not the problem. The lack of suffering is the problem. For the ones who couldn’t do it in time, and there are many here, then there’s the ascetic life, missionary work or adoption. It is a cross to bear. And we must bear it. Because what is the alternative? Drown in entertainment (of which politics is a very prominent form of)? That is just another form suicide.

We made too many wrong mistakes. Yogi Berra
(This post was last modified: 11-27-2019 06:48 AM by ilostabet.)
11-27-2019 06:36 AM
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Post: #559
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 06:36 AM)ilostabet Wrote:  I understand more than you think, just from another side of things.

As I said, you made a mistake postponing all those things. The same way it’s regrettable to waste all your time with video games, movies and travel, it’s regrettable to do the exact opposite and deny yourself some time to just chill, especially for 20 years, and with a purpose for which the basics (having a wife to build it with) was not met yet.

You have to realize that it was a mistake by now. But more importantly, some mistakes cannot be undone. You cannot go back. You probably would have been better trying to find a woman and having less money, and sort things out as you go.

You posted some VERY wise things. And I don't use the word "wise" lightly. I am very much into meditation/philosophy/personal growth and everything you posted is very wise and I am going to ponder it for a while before I respond to it, or maybe just ponder it and realize in the end you are 100% right. I very much appreciate your post, I think it is one of the best I have read on here.

But the quoted above I strongly disagree with. I am extremely resilient. It would be hard to find a person more resilient than I am. It is a mix of genetics, all my ancestors were extremely resilient people, and also my upbringing where I suffered major disappointment after major disappointment and just kept doubling down and working harder. In the end, the hard work didn't pay off directly in my desired activity, but it paid off years later when I realized I could learn to live without any enjoyment of life and complete disappointment and be fine.

I am not only completely happy with my choices to not enjoy life and work and save, I would recommend this to every young man. But it is very hard. It isn't "well, I have to get up at 3 AM to feed the kids hard", it is at least once a week asking yourself if life is worth living because you have nothing to live for, but then realizing you can't end your life because your parents would have to attend your funeral so you get out of bed and go into that job you hate with no reward at the end of the day/week/year/decade. But maybe one day you can have something nice in your life. And you have running water, and electricity, and enough bland food so just keep pushing forward.

And after 20 years I am finally reaching the other side, or at least I am within a few years of doing so, and while the journey was hard as hell, it was not only worth it, it is the only way to go through life for me personally. True financial freedom is worth the hell. Simply because more jobs are completely unbearable and knowing you have to face that for 50 years v. 20 years, is a cross too much to bear for me.
11-27-2019 07:11 AM
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Post: #560
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
It_is_my_time, I would encourage you to read the following passage.

Luke 12:13-34, NKJV Wrote:Then one from the crowd said to Him, “Teacher, tell my brother to divide the inheritance with me.”

But He said to him, “Man, who made Me a judge or an arbitrator over you?” And He said to them, “Take heed and beware of covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of the things he possesses.”

Then He spoke a parable to them, saying: “The ground of a certain rich man yielded plentifully. And he thought within himself, saying, ‘What shall I do, since I have no room to store my crops?’ So he said, ‘I will do this: I will pull down my barns and build greater, and there I will store all my crops and my goods. And I will say to my soul, “Soul, you have many goods laid up for many years; take your ease; eat, drink, and be merry.” ’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul will be required of you; then whose will those things be which you have provided?’

“So is he who lays up treasure for himself, and is not rich toward God.”

Then He said to His disciples, “Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; nor about the body, what you will put on. Life is more than food, and the body is more than clothing. Consider the ravens, for they neither sow nor reap, which have neither storehouse nor barn; and God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds? And which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature? If you then are not able to do the least, why are you anxious for the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. If then God so clothes the grass, which today is in the field and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will He clothe you, O you of little faith?

“And do not seek what you should eat or what you should drink, nor have an anxious mind. For all these things the nations of the world seek after, and your Father knows that you need these things. But seek the kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added to you.

“Do not fear, little flock, for it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom. Sell what you have and give alms; provide yourselves money bags which do not grow old, a treasure in the heavens that does not fail, where no thief approaches nor moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

By all means, be financially prudent. But prudence taken too far becomes paranoia. You don't need a fortune to raise a healthy family today, but you do need faith.

"For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” - Romans 8:18
11-27-2019 08:25 AM
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Post: #561
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 08:25 AM)scorpion Wrote:  By all means, be financially prudent. But prudence taken too far becomes paranoia. You don't need a fortune to raise a healthy family today, but you do need faith.

I appreciate your kind words and your time to put together this excellent post. I read these words and think about it a lot, just like ilostabet's posts. Thank you.

I have lost all faith and belief in something good happening and I will never get that back. Throughout history evil always wins the long term war and the lucky few good move on to another area and start over. Then the process repeats itself again. The problem is now there is no where left to move.

Having this knowledge is a very powerful position to be in, I am blessed for it.
11-27-2019 08:51 AM
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Post: #562
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 02:23 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 02:04 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 01:14 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 11:32 PM)doc holliday Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 10:02 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  How old are you, your children and grandchildren?

51, Four kids 24,22,17,17. No grandkids.

Are the kids men or women and at what ages did the 24 and 22 year olds get married?

Ah I see, so rather than asking some thoughtful questions about the ups and downs of family life, you want to turn this into an interrogation as a way of discrediting me. Not surprising that you are disingenuous but ok sure I'll play along with your silliness. I have both boys and girls and no one is married yet. Just like you. Although they're young and you ain't.

It quickly illustrates the point that your example wasn't enough for your own children, you shouldn't expect strangers on the Internet to think much more if it. And they're only a few years younger than me.

(11-27-2019 02:04 AM)doc holliday Wrote:  Whatever man, enjoy your weed and your fat Tinder hoes.

I find it odd that a man in his 50s gets that upset at a stranger online. You seem unhinged. And you added that last line as an edit - like you wanted one last screech into the darkness. Sad.


You decided you wanted to conduct an interrogation of me instead of having a thoughtful conversation so you shouldn’t be surprised you received a hostile response. Guys like you are not so different from these Bumble girls to be honest. My kids know that I expect them to choose wisely and have families but hey, if you want to hang on the fact that they haven’t done it yet as some sort of failure on my part then sure, whatever keeps you warm at night. If you’re that interested in the intimate details you can pm guys like Diop, Scotlan or numerous others who have actually met my whole family rather than trying to get me to dox myself.

Not sure honestly why you’re so upset about my last line but there must be a lot of truth to it since you reacted so badly to it.
11-27-2019 10:33 AM
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Post: #563
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 08:51 AM)It_is_my_time Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 08:25 AM)scorpion Wrote:  By all means, be financially prudent. But prudence taken too far becomes paranoia. You don't need a fortune to raise a healthy family today, but you do need faith.

I appreciate your kind words and your time to put together this excellent post. I read these words and think about it a lot, just like ilostabet's posts. Thank you.

I have lost all faith and belief in something good happening and I will never get that back. Throughout history evil always wins the long term war and the lucky few good move on to another area and start over. Then the process repeats itself again. The problem is now there is no where left to move.

Having this knowledge is a very powerful position to be in, I am blessed for it.

If I could be forgiven what I posted in wrath earlier. I'm going to sign out from the forum for some time after this post. I say this because posters like Scorpion, i lost a bet and doc holliday are making a much better point with their posts.

If I read you correctly you are saying you are despairing, which is the opposite of living in hope. God commands us to live in hope, not in fear. You are not trusting in God's plan for you, perhaps because you don't have a deep enough relationship with yourself by knowing who you are and why you do what you do and think what you think, or you don't have a relationship with God, which comes after that for many.

You seem to be creating a narrative for the future which in the end is self-fulfilling. You are blinding yourself to the world out there, where plenty of men and women are raising happy and safe families. The problem with the internet is that nobody goes online when they're happy and writes about it. It's one big echo chamber of the disaffected, each reinforcing the other's unbalanced perspective.

I'm saying this because you say that evil always triumphs which is a blatant falsehood. It may triumph temporarily, or to a degree, but it will never and has never won in the long term. If you haven't discovered God, I can see that you may have trouble with nihilism, which seems to be at the root of your pessimism and unbalanced approach to life to date. What history are you referring to? I see history as the triumph of good over evil, time and time again.

Actually, the lucky few get to die for their beliefs, not run away. What are you running from in your life?

And don't you have enough knowledge? Isn't your problem that you have filled your head with too much knowledge from the internet?

You will never get your faith back with this attitude. It is you and you alone who is responsible for your apparent unhappiness in life.
11-27-2019 10:39 AM
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ilostabet Offline
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Post: #564
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-27-2019 08:51 AM)It_is_my_time Wrote:  
(11-27-2019 08:25 AM)scorpion Wrote:  By all means, be financially prudent. But prudence taken too far becomes paranoia. You don't need a fortune to raise a healthy family today, but you do need faith.

I appreciate your kind words and your time to put together this excellent post. I read these words and think about it a lot, just like ilostabet's posts. Thank you.

I have lost all faith and belief in something good happening and I will never get that back. Throughout history evil always wins the long term war and the lucky few good move on to another area and start over. Then the process repeats itself again. The problem is now there is no where left to move.

Having this knowledge is a very powerful position to be in, I am blessed for it.

If I read your words correctly, it seems you've lost your faith in humanity. That is a faith worth losing. No one can have two gods, so if you have faith in the world and worldly things, that keeps you back from the true faith.

But everyone needs some kind of faith. You need faith in Christ now that you've lost the other one, and nowhere is better to get it but the gutter. But you need to ask for it - and you shall receive. Only then you will have peace, even if it's the peace of the martyr.

We made too many wrong mistakes. Yogi Berra
11-27-2019 11:38 AM
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Post: #565
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-26-2019 05:19 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 05:10 PM)ilostabet Wrote:  - Captain said he would need someone to tell him that there is such a woman out there who is not a ho, is a good wife, etc. But then he wouldn't even believe it because it's on the internet. So it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Not exactly what I said, I wanted someone to post about their successes raising children. Because, if you can't raise good kids in today's climate, trying to "do it the right way" with traditional marriage is irrelevant.

The reason it would be hard to believe is that no one was posting about it for years. If they started today, and everyone was posting all of these great stories about how wonderful marriage is and how amazing their kids have turned out, I'd start to believe it in a few years, perhaps after a meetup or two. I'm young, unlike the women in this OP, I have time.

Do you mean that no one was posting about their successful marriage in the old PUA/hedonist version of this forum? If that's what you meant, I generally avoided doing that because you'd just get a bunch of pussyhounds telling you you're afraid to approach women, that your wife is screwing the Denver Broncos behind your back because AWALT, and so on. Keep in mind that not so long ago Roosh was allowing articles on how to talk a girl into murdering your baby and how best to commit adultery to be published on ROK. Things have changed a lot around here, to put it mildly.

That said, I'm happily married with kids. I vastly prefer my life to what I imagine it would be if I'd decided to stay single. I can provide more details on how I pulled this off sometime, if anyone is interested.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-28-2019 01:51 PM
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Post: #566
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
Do we have any anglo/west euros under 30 who married and had children with an anglo/west euro under 25? Because their advice would be extremely helpful.

I don't think older guys appreciate how bad the supply problem is. I've dated many girls who would make great mothers, so they are out there. But I don't think it's an exaggeration to say that the supply of acceptable women is the lowest of any time in western history. It's extremely time-consuming. And going EE is a completely different ball-game.

There's a large and growing cohort of western white women who are simply unmarriageable. The more you recognize how bad it is, the less frustrating it becomes, and the more pleasantly surprising it is when you finally come across a girl with a decent soul. Volume (and luck) is key.

Stay stoic millenials and zoomers and always remember: boomer advice should be controlled substance.
11-28-2019 02:56 PM
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Post: #567
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
I live in the area of Düsseldorf, in a somewhat posh area. Most young couples you see running about are not professionals. It seems that Women who went to college have kids at 30 or so. I swear that I have so far just seen one middle class looking German girl under 30 with a child, and I have been living here for almost a decade.
11-28-2019 05:23 PM
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Post: #568
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
^ I have a couple handfuls of friends and acquaintances who fit the bill. Never asked them what they did specifically, I'd guess they would give me an odd look and say something like, "she was there and she seemed like a nice girl, so I asked her out." Or they met through social circle or were introduced through family.

That said, I'll try and list some commonalities I noticed about them:

•All but one are Christian
•None of the Christians were players
•The man has his life together. Doesn't always mean he's rich, but they all picked a steady career and just went with it.
•They all came from an intact home. Their families really support them getting married. Doesn't matter if they are lower-middle class or multi-millionaires.
•As far as I can tell, they absolutely value family life. Starting a family was a huge priority to them. Some were born rich, most weren't, but they don't care about rolling the dice to make it big or banging their way across Thailand.

•I noticed they spent very little time or no time in university. Same for the girls. At any rate, university didn't become an 'identity.' Just a tool to get from x to y.
•The Christian women are very feminine. The non-Christian girl is feminine and supportive enough and her husband keeps her in line haha.
•The men are not 'soy' or weird. Not overly macho or anything, just normal likable people. Most have physically active hobbies. One of them runs a little chubby, but he's a really likable guy who can talk about History and that sort of thing. He's 29 and has 3 kids already.
•They don't seem to give a shit about politics. I mean, History guy can talk about Communism or whatever, but outside of talking about History, he doesn't care.

It's hard to pull stuff out of this, but I'd say:
Don't muck around without a job for too long. Pick something and stick with it. Let promotions or opportunities happen naturally.
You have to really want to have a family. If you do, you will find a way. If you don't, you will focus on the negatives or the things you'll miss out and you'll overthink it forever.
Don't worry too much. The guy with 3 kids has the least material wealth, but him and his wife spend the most quality time with their children. Borrow a book from the library and read it $0. Go for a Nature walk $0.
Social circle and family helps to vet people. We can't choose our families, but we can put effort into social circles.

Anyway, those are just some points I noticed from friends who married pretty young. It's not my intention to talk down to anyone or anything like that, so I hope this post doesn't come across that way. Cheers
11-28-2019 06:40 PM
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Post: #569
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-28-2019 01:51 PM)bucky Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 05:19 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 05:10 PM)ilostabet Wrote:  - Captain said he would need someone to tell him that there is such a woman out there who is not a ho, is a good wife, etc. But then he wouldn't even believe it because it's on the internet. So it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Not exactly what I said, I wanted someone to post about their successes raising children. Because, if you can't raise good kids in today's climate, trying to "do it the right way" with traditional marriage is irrelevant.

The reason it would be hard to believe is that no one was posting about it for years. If they started today, and everyone was posting all of these great stories about how wonderful marriage is and how amazing their kids have turned out, I'd start to believe it in a few years, perhaps after a meetup or two. I'm young, unlike the women in this OP, I have time.

Do you mean that no one was posting about their successful marriage in the old PUA/hedonist version of this forum?

Partly. What I wanted to hear is from men who have a great marriage and adult children who, based on their father's example did what some posters are trying to convince us younger guys to do - get married young and have kids.

One poster did that but his kids aren't following his advice so neither can I really.

I appreciate a lot of your posts and I just repped you for them, but you have to admit that you've only been married 5 years and your last wife was a Russian who scammed you into marriage. Can you see how I might be reluctant, wanting to avoid that mistake?
11-28-2019 11:04 PM
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Post: #570
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-28-2019 11:04 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-28-2019 01:51 PM)bucky Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 05:19 PM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  
(11-26-2019 05:10 PM)ilostabet Wrote:  - Captain said he would need someone to tell him that there is such a woman out there who is not a ho, is a good wife, etc. But then he wouldn't even believe it because it's on the internet. So it's a self fulfilling prophecy.

Not exactly what I said, I wanted someone to post about their successes raising children. Because, if you can't raise good kids in today's climate, trying to "do it the right way" with traditional marriage is irrelevant.

The reason it would be hard to believe is that no one was posting about it for years. If they started today, and everyone was posting all of these great stories about how wonderful marriage is and how amazing their kids have turned out, I'd start to believe it in a few years, perhaps after a meetup or two. I'm young, unlike the women in this OP, I have time.

Do you mean that no one was posting about their successful marriage in the old PUA/hedonist version of this forum?

Partly. What I wanted to hear is from men who have a great marriage and adult children who, based on their father's example did what some posters are trying to convince us younger guys to do - get married young and have kids.

One poster did that but his kids aren't following his advice so neither can I really.

I appreciate a lot of your posts and I just repped you for them, but you have to admit that you've only been married 5 years and your last wife was a Russian who scammed you into marriage. Can you see how I might be reluctant, wanting to avoid that mistake?

Got you, now I understand better. One thing, I don't necessarily recommend that guys get married young. I wish I hadn't gotten married before 40. I guess if you meet a girl who's good wife material and you don't have a great desire to see the world go for it, but I usually recommend guys shoot for getting married around 40, give or take a few years, when they've seen the world a bit and figured out women to some extent. For example, if I knew what I know now I'd never have married my Russian ex.

Will write more later...three-year old wants me to play with her...that's life as a dad...heh.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-28-2019 11:09 PM
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armenia4ever Offline
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Post: #571
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
Quote:Do we have any anglo/west euros under 30 who married and had children with an anglo/west euro under 25? Because their advice would be extremely helpful.

I'm 31 and my wife is 23. We've been married for almost 4 years now. We have two toddlers. Note this all happened after I found this sphere.

I'll post more later in this thread. At my inlaws for the weekend with the family visiting and enjoying a good time.

"Be a leader and never ever follow" That's what my father, that's what he always told me. So with those words boldly spoken, he sent me down a long and hard road.

My humble blog.
(This post was last modified: 11-29-2019 08:28 PM by armenia4ever.)
11-29-2019 08:23 PM
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bgbusiness Away
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Post: #572
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
(11-29-2019 08:23 PM)armenia4ever Wrote:  
Quote:Do we have any anglo/west euros under 30 who married and had children with an anglo/west euro under 25? Because their advice would be extremely helpful.

I'm 31 and my wife is 23. We've been married for almost 4 years now. We have two toddlers. Note this all happened after I found this sphere.

I'll post more later in this thread. At my inlaws for the weekend with the family visiting and enjoying a good time.

Wow, please do post more!

"Don't let yourself get attached to anything you are not willing to walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you feel the heat around the corner."
- Heat

"That's the difference between you and me. You wanna lose small, I wanna win big."
11-29-2019 09:12 PM
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Post: #573
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
RE: The original focus of the thread -

I know a late 40s urban American woman; corporate world for years, good reputation in her business community, a wide professional and social network. Makes decent coin, but has some money from a previous marriage that helped her finance a fancy condo and expensive car. No kids; that ship has sailed.

One thing I remembered about her was in addition to her extensive work travel, she watches a great deal of television. There probably isn't a show on Netflix, HBO, Amazon etc. that she hasn't watched at least a few times.

She remarked that she has an easier time falling sleep while traveling. Seems obvious to me now, but I hadn't stopped to consider that while on the road, there's no time to reflect. Yet whenever she's home with no events lined up the next day, it's so scary to just be alone with her thoughts she's has to fill every last moment with entertainment to stay distracted from reality. This is her life, until she dies.

Maybe not every one of them turns to medication, but it's easy to see why a quarter of the western female population feels the need to do so. They've been had.

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11-30-2019 03:10 PM
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Post: #574
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
This was roughly posted by Montrose in this thread.

A few variables:

Female need for commitment
Female want for commitment
Male supply of commitment

Some rough scales.

Russia:

Female need for commitment - 7/10
Female want for commitment - 7/10
Male supply of commitment - 6/10

UK:

Female need for commitment - 1/10
Female want for commitment - 3/10
Male supply of commitment - 3/10

Philippines:

Female need for commitment - 9/10
Female want for commitment - 10/10
Male supply of commitment - 3/10

Constant in all these is male want of veagan: 10/10.

Female need for commitment has obviously been shot by the welfare state, women in the work force, divorce laws etc. The need for commitment used to come in around 18, but now it's never needed. So we fall back to want for commitment, because women like certain feelings of romance, protection etc. Without the need for commitment you can cycle through multiple guys. When the romance dims, you have a stream of offers, orbiters to crank it back up. On the other side of that is the guy who you might commit to (because he is a higher specimen) has no intention of committing to him because he knows he can get another notch.

Another big issue is women are distracted by bright lights and opportunities, which have a higher bar than the maelstrom of men constantly splurging their attention on them. To someone not looking at the larger picture it makes sense to take these tougher routes like career younger, as the men are always an easy option.

So two options, men withdraw their mass attention or the welfare state and a few other accouterments are pulled. Neither are likely to happen.
(This post was last modified: 11-30-2019 06:09 PM by gework.)
11-30-2019 06:05 PM
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CynicalContrarian Online
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Post: #575
RE: Single women in their 30s/40s are starting to realize they will die alone
Not inclined to start a whole new thread.
Plus, no doubt this data is very PC in orientation :

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic...k-men.html

What women REALLY want from men:
Europeans prioritise kindness over financial security - while a partner with the same religious and political views is more important to US residents

Study showed what women from across the world look for in partners
Kindness came out on top as the trait that women wanted in men universally
Showed only half women in the UK care about a men having decent education


What women really want in a partner

FINANCIAL SECURITY
Japan 66.7%
Mexico 60.8%
USA 59.8%
Colombia 58.9%
UK 42.4%
Denmark 41.9%
Spain 38.31%
Germany 38.5%
Italy 38.1%
France 34.0%

POLITICAL SIMILARITY
Brazil 44.2%
USA 43.6%
Russia 19.6%
Mexico 17.1%
France 15.5%

KINDNESS
Mexico 79.2%
Argentina 78.0%
Colombia 75.1%
Spain 73.9%
France 58.5%
U.K. 52.0%
Germany 49.5%

EDUCATION
Colombia 82.0%
Mexico 80.8%
Brazil 80.7%
Denmark (55.4%
UK 50.2%

SEXUAL EXPERIENCES
Italy 75.5%
France 65.7%
Mexico Over 30%
U.S Less than 30%
U.K Less than 25%

RELIGIOUS SIMILARITY
U.S.A 39.5%
Colombia 35.2%
Brazil 33.0%
Japan 31.9%
Germany 20.8%
France 21.2%

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
Taller partner 90%
Attractive smile 80%
Nice eyes 70%
Large penis 60%
Average body type 44%


Heh.
American's more inclined for political & religious similarity. No surprise in this day & age.
While the Deutsch are not so fussed about kindness... [Image: Snide.png]
12-03-2019 06:08 PM
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