Post: #1

Jiggy's Brief Guide to Quit Fapping for Good

Preface: Reproduction is at the top of the human priority hierarchy, even higher than food and water; after all, we only consume these to stay alive in the hopes of future reproduction, or to tend to the fruits of previous reproduction (offspring). Hence, in trying to quit fapping, you are trying to tame the most primal of all human desires - the bottom-most of the brain stem. It will be difficult, and you will need to be fully dedicated if you wish to take back control. With enough mental strength, it is possible. But you will need the right tools – a proper mindset is required to tackle this beast:

Self-Assessment: The first thing you will need to do is assess how hooked you are. This is determined by three factors:

1) When you started: If you picked up the habit in your early adolescence (10-13), and sustained it throughout your formative years (13 – 25), the habit is wired strongly. If you started later, the wiring is weaker, and more malleable.

2) Duration: If you’ve been at it for double-digit years (10+), it is probably your longest-held habit. If it’s only been a few years, then you’re not far down the rabbit hole, and this journey will be slightly easier.

3) Frequency: If you went at it multiple times a day, every day, you have your work cut out for you. If you had some self-restraint and limited yourself to once a day, or even just few times a week, you slightly less fucked.

Note: Do not get discouraged if you have been fapping 5 times a day for the last 20 years and your brain has turned to mush. Everyone's journey is different, and this guide is for everyone. And for the more heavy fappers, it's all the more rewarding once you finally kick it.

Now once you gauge how addicted you are, you can do a simple equation to find out how long it will take you to rewire. It will take at least 5% of your fapping career of being COMPLETELY clean to begin rewiring.

I’ll use my own situation as an example:

Duration: 10 years of everyday fapping (ages 10 – 20) = (10 years x 365 days) = 3,650 days. This is a rough estimate; I did not keep a wanking tally.

Frequency: Once a day in my case, with the occasional exception. If twice a day, multiply (3,650) by 2. Again, it does not need to be exact.

Rewire Time: Take 5% of your duration = (3,650 days x 5%) = 182.5 days. This is how long I will have to be clean to begin a true rewiring.


The Method
Now that you have a lineal number you can strive towards, you must have a solid plan to tackle this insidious habit. Luckily, I have devised a framework for you. I've distilled it down to a few simple points, most of which is based off of The No Arousal Method - currently the only effective long-term strategy. And trust me, I've tried them all.

Warning: If you are not fully dedicated, stop reading now. Following this method will require 6 months to a year of full dedication, and your dopamine centers will hate you for it for its duration. You must be ready to battle the beast head on; a weak commitment is not an option.

1) Stop watching porn. This one’s actually pretty simple. Delete any porn you have downloaded, soft or hard. Take down posters on your wall if you have them. When on the internet, don’t visit porn websites, and don't look at pictures or videos of women at all. Also don’t scroll through the NSFW threads on the forum - follow your common sense on this one. Once you’ve accomplished this, you can move onto the harder part...

2) Stop checking out women. When you watch porn, you get a 40% spike in arousal. When you fap to porn, you get a 90% spike in arousal. And when you check out a woman on the street, you get a small arousal spike of about 5%, which is nearly imperceptible apart from a warm feeling in the groin. A 5% spike is the equivalent of watching porn for 3 seconds. This problem is these small arousal spikes accumulate, just as arousal accumulates over the course of a night out with a woman. If you live in a metro area, and see new women everyday, it's easy to check out 20+ women a day, just on the street. By the end of the day, these little spikes accumulate, and you will be as aroused as if you had watched a full porn clip. This does not bode well for a man trying to quit giving into his carnal urges.

But what's the problem with getting aroused? I'm a man, goddammit! Well, unless you have a harem on-demand, chances are that you'll be relieving the tension of arousal through fapping. If you can channel your arousal into fornication with a real woman, by all means go for it, but anything outside of this is just playing with fire. You wouldn’t watch porn all day, yet many men mentally undress nearly every 5+ woman they see on the street. And the brain cannot distinguish between real women and screen women. So how do you stop checking out chicks? Simple - just don’t look at their bodies. Make brief eye contact if you so desire, but it's best not to look at them at all. You shouldn't be feeding them free attention anyhow, leave that to the thirsty. If you find that your eyes automatically hone in on women (as mine tend to), just look away when you catch yourself doing so. This gets easier with practice, and is core to the rewiring process.

3) Stop fantasizing. This goes hand in hand with the last point. Remember, the brain cannot distinguish between mental fantasies and screen-based fantasies. In other words, when you are fantasizing about sex in your head, you are in effect, watching porn in the theater of your brain. I repeat, the brain cannot recognize the difference. Every time you fantasize, your arousal spikes, from 5% for a short fantasy, up to 40% for a mental movie. This is important because EVERY. FAP. STARTS. WITH A FANTASY. Tape this on your wall if you have to. If you begin to intermittently fantasize (as I tend to), nip the thought at the bud, either through meditation, or simply redirecting your mind somewhere else. I generally take a few deep breaths, recognize the slippery slope, and let the fantasy dissolve away into the cosmos. Nip fantasies at the bud, and you've done half the work needed. The avoidance of fantasizing is incredibly key to kicking this habit, and one that, unfortunately, most men are completely unaware of. If you stop watching porn, but keep the reel running in your head, all you did was change the medium. Stop fantasizing (about sex), and instead fantasize about adventure and success. Better yet, go out and do it.

That’s it. Three simple points to constantly observe throughout your day.

Bonus: Lifestyle
Lifestyle determines how easy this method will be to adhere to. For example, if you are high/hungover, your willpower is at a low, and it will be significantly more difficult to follow these principles. If you are high on a sugar rush, when you crash, your brain will seek out dopamine, potentially in the form of a fap. If you don’t get enough sleep, for that day you are operating at limited capacity, and might not have the mental strength to stick to the plan. That’s why I add healthy lifestyle as a footnote; think about it as the foundation on which this method can thrive. Living right not only maximizes your chances of survival, reproduction, and success, it also maximizes your chances of permanently kicking the fap. Good health is not strictly necessary, but it sure as hell makes this road a lot easier to tread.

Recap
1) Accept that quitting is going to be difficult – we are wired to reproduce. Either fully commit, or fuck off.

2) Assess the level of damage – some may need more time to rewire than others.

3) Stop watching porn – easier said than done, but get rid of anything that resembles it.

4) Stop checking out women – all you’re doing is keeping the porn reel going.

5) Stop fantasizing – shut down the mental porn cinema, it’s doing you no good.

Good luck, and feel free to message me with any specific questions.

Post: #2

What’s with the wank hate

Can’t beat ripping the head off it from time to time!

Post: #3

(11-10-2019 04:12 PM)Irn Bru Protein Wrote:  What’s with the wank hate

Can’t beat ripping the head off it from time to time!

Because it's damaging to the male brain. In short, it's a beta behavior, and shouldn't be reinforced by an aspiring alpha male. For example, in gorilla communities, it's been observed that the most dominant males generally mate with fertile females, while the beta gorillas sit on the sidelines and masturbate. While they watch the alphas go at it. Sound familiar? It should - humans males follow a very similar dynamic.

So, no, I wouldn't call it "wank hate." I'd call it an informed choice. Are you the dominant male with an adoring female on his arm? Or the guy wanking on the sidelines, watching? I suggest you follow this guide, experiment with temporary celibacy, and report back once you discover which side of the spectrum you'd prefer to lay on.

Post: #4

The right side of the net went into No Fap November and the campaign spread everywhere.

Post: #5

Quote:3) Stop fantasizing. This goes hand in hand with the last point. Remember, the brain cannot distinguish between mental fantasies and screen-based fantasies. In other words, when you are fantasizing about sex in your head, you are in effect, watching porn in the theater of your brain

That makes the whole deal a lot more difficult. I was hoping I could get away with it, especially that I suffer a lot during sleepless nights.

Post: #6

No Jiggy Lord

I’m not wanking on the sidelines.

I’m wanking in the shower, enjoying some me time.

3 kids and a demanding wife does that to a man!

Post: #7

(11-11-2019 11:02 AM)Irn Bru Protein Wrote:  No Jiggy Lord

I’m not wanking on the sidelines.

I’m wanking in the shower, enjoying some me time.

3 kids and a demanding wife does that to a man!

While I'm all for nofap, I think if you're going to do it, this is the best attitude to have.

Doing anything in secret eventually becomes creepy. If you're going to have a wank, at least own the fact.

Post: #8

how many bedsheets do you go through?

Post: #9

"Stop fantasizing about women."

I've fantasized about women as far back as I can remember. I think back to being around four or five and I was already obsessed with girls.

It's wired into my very molecules. You may as well suggest stopping drinking water.

I get that a lot of guys think not jerking off will give them super powers, but I've never heard anyone suggest to avoid noticing beautiful women. Maybe some kind of all-male monastery is the best place for this kind of experiment?

Post: #10

(11-11-2019 11:02 AM)Irn Bru Protein Wrote:  No Jiggy Lord

I’m not wanking on the sidelines.

I’m wanking in the shower, enjoying some me time.

3 kids and a demanding wife does that to a man!

Regardless of circumstance, fapping is a beta behavior. No amount of male hamstering changes that immutable fact. That's not to say that fapping will make you beta, but it will certainly diminish the strength of your masculine aura. Give NoFap a shot, and you'll notice your family will perceive you differently - on a subconscious, primal level. You'll have to experience this firsthand to fully understand what the effect this method has on those close to you.

If you want to enjoy some "you time," there are many other constructive, masculine ways to do so, certainly much better than wanking off in private. Lots of threads here that suggest good masculine hobbies, it would do you well to check them out. Channel your energy elsewhere; fapping is a poor use of sexual energy.

Post: #11

Sorry mate but you’re not convincing me here

A quick wank in the shower doesn’t compromise my masculinity in any way. It’s a quick way to let off some steam.

Framing a wank as ‘beta behaviour’ is ridiculous.

If you’re some weirdo neckbeard who likes to dwell in their parents spare room and has yet to get their dick wet then I could see some merit in your opinion.

A family man cracking one off on the fly however is hardly ‘beta’ and refraining from doing so is hardly going to change my families behaviour around me. That’s ludicrous.

Don’t agree? Maybe settle down and raise a family yourself then get back to me kid.

Post: #12

(11-13-2019 08:11 AM)etwsake Wrote:  "Stop fantasizing about women."

I've fantasized about women as far back as I can remember. I think back to being around four or five and I was already obsessed with girls.

It's wired into my very molecules. You may as well suggest stopping drinking water.

I get that a lot of guys think not jerking off will give them super powers, but I've never heard anyone suggest to avoid noticing beautiful women. Maybe some kind of all-male monastery is the best place for this kind of experiment?

Just because you started early doesn't mean you're permanently wired that way. I started fantasizing around the same age as you - guess what, I've all but kicked it by now. Comparing the squirt of dopamine from mental sexual imagery to the biological need of water consumption is just silly. Your livelihood is not contingent upon sexual fantasies, despite what starved dopamine receptors might say otherwise.

Should you notice women? Sure, but only when it matters - when you will approach. Checking out random women as you walk by them on the street is not much different than watching real life porn. Unless you're going to approach, don't bother feeding them the free attention. You also want to avoid building up arousal if you have no immediate outlet. This just inevitably will lead to a fap.

As a brief reminder, this guide is meant for people serious about breaking the fap cycle. I am not advocating for men to become monks; this method is a temporary healing method. Funnily enough though, a monastery is a great place to kick the fap habit. I just wouldn't recommend it due to the opportunity cost - missed earnings from being absent from the workforce. But if it works for you, all the better.

Post: #13

So a quick glance in the direction of a hot woman is equivalent to a Brazzers binge?

Dearie me.

Post: #14

(11-13-2019 09:03 AM)Irn Bru Protein Wrote:  If you’re some weirdo neckbeard who likes to dwell in their parents spare room and has yet to get their dick wet then I could see some merit in your opinion.

Lo and behold, here come the buzzwords and ad hominems. "Anybody who doesn't rationalize a bad habit like me must be a virgin!". Let me guess, you also believe that getting drunk and smoking is "manly" behavior.

(11-13-2019 09:03 AM)Irn Bru Protein Wrote:  Don’t agree? Maybe settle down and raise a family yourself then get back to me kid.

Why the hell would you even wank if you have a wife? Is she hitting the wall already? I like how you bring up your supposed "maturity" and having a family to defend from what you perceive as an attack from a man you perceive as "kid". Pretty insecure and try-hardy for such a paragon of masculinity.

(11-13-2019 09:27 AM)Irn Bru Protein Wrote:  So a quick glance in the direction of a hot woman is equivalent to a Brazzers binge?

I thought you were happily married, bucko.

Post: #15

Sorry mate. You sound like you need your bum soothed.

Never meant to yank your crank.

Or maybe that’s wank? Who knows!

Look mate, I’m just saying that this ‘nofap’ business sounds a bit creepy.

A cheeky wank is nothing to be ashamed off and is unlikely to hold a man back.

Post: #16

Yeah, some guys take this stuff a little too far.

I don’t see anything wrong with moderation, I usually crank one out once a week on Sunday’s on weeks where my gf isn’t in town. For guys that have an issue and are constantly draining themselves of their seed, No Fap is probably necessary. I’ve tried it and all it does is drive me insane. After I bust a nut my head is clear and I have a good night’s sleep

Post: #17

I feel like it's the porn causing all the problems these days. That shits super freaky, and way too easy to get. I looked at a old school porn mag recently, and thought, 'wow, this stuff's pretty wholesome'.

Getting addicted to hardcore freaky shit and beating it multiple times a day (been there) is definitely bad. Beating it once or twice a weeks probably not bad. If I go for more than two weeks, my balls start to ache. Maybe it's blue balls from always living around females in bikinis and leggings though.

Post: #18

The only time that wanking has been detrimental to a man’s health is when the lead singer of INXS chugged himself to death with some sexual asphyxiation freaky wank.

If abstaining from the five knuckle shuffle helps you feel better overall then have at it.

However it’s a stretch to claim that ‘nofap’ is going to ‘change the game’.

Post: #19

Much, if not all off it, reeks of pseudoscience. Full disclosure: I am a fan of no-fap. The obvious first: many of my male friends are into no-fap, but don't swallow the evangelism of it.

Regarding re-wiring: don't know that I believe it.

The most toxic thing men are doing daily is viewing porn, or soft-pornographic photos. So stop that. Old habits die hard, I get it. Stopping this, and this only, will get you miles ahead of others.

We have to get to the root cause, I'm guessing men jerk-off to displace angst/ anxiety, because of habit, and because of real, tangible sexual urges. And for most, it's coupled with porn. So you have to approach both prongs of the issue.

I think the no-fap community has some strong negatives to it. The emphasis put on streaks, and all that entails.

Work on self-improvement and addressing insecurities and add no-fap into the mix when you have a good thing going.

When you are depressed, or in a low place, fapping, for many men, is all you have. If you think about it.

Post: #20

The OP is a method to quit fapping, i.e. to "do nofap" on a permanent or at least long-term basis. I have no basis to judge this method (longest I've done nofap is just shy of 2 months), but I can imagine it does what it says on the tin. Obviously once you're no longer watching porn, the next step is to avoid mental images that come from lusting after women. This is not a value judgement on whether it's right or wrong to go into "monk mode" like this, but simply a fact. During 1-week, 1-month or 2-month stretches, I had no problem avoiding porn but the biggest temptation came when I was just lying in bed. Since then I've done everything from multiple stretches of nofap, to jerking it only once a week, to going back to doing it every day or more.

I honestly don't know if there's any science in the "rewiring" stuff. For me avoiding fapping in the past was just to prove to myself that I could do it. It's like not drinking for a period of time or something: most guys can fap or drink in moderation and there's no emergency that makes it urgent for them to abstain, but it's just the challenge that's interesting. Anyone can say: "I could quit this any time, but right now I'm just enjoying it in moderation", but then when they try it, they soon find out what their actual willpower is. For most of us, that's a big reality check.

I don't really hold with the shameful, angst-filled approach that some people take to nofap. The whole language of "relapsing" because you fapped after a week, after having previously fapped every single day of the past 10 years. All these millennial "guys" who post the same thing every week: "URGH, I touched my dick. RELAPSE. Let's try again. DAY ZERO!!!" Of course you could say they're not serious and not doing the programme, but I think guys like that have bigger problems than just masturbation. If they fixed their attitudes and lifestyles they would have less leisure time in which to fap, and they would eliminate about 50% of the risk, and even if they ended up fapping once a week, they wouldn't have to feel bad about themselves for it.

No-fap is an interesting and difficult challenge to do, but right now I don't see it as my greatest priority. There have been weeks on end without fapping where I still felt like shit, and other weeks where I would fap before bedtime and then again in the morning, and still immediately get out of bed with high energy and feeling ready to take on the whole world by myself. But if I did want to go cold turkey again, I would take most of OP's advice to heart, and probably add two things:

- Keep busy.
- Avoid "edging" or touching yourself in general. It's not that you immediately have to beat yourself up and reset the "counter" to day zero just because your hand got near your crotch, but before you know it you're edging every day and it's only a matter of time before you say, "Well, sod it" and just give in.

Post: #21

Wear a cup if you really just can't keep your hands off of yourself

Post: #22

Week one completed. Previous record has been 20 days. Been masturbating since age 11

Post: #23

To masturbate while married is just a waste. Quite frankly you sound like someone who is not married, but just likes to masturbate and doesn’t want to sound undisciplined or creepy.

Post: #24

Very helpful jiggy. how long have you been no-fapping for now? what do you do about relapses?

i have a big porn problem that stemmed from exposure way too young and fapping from about 10/11 onwards

Also i am a religious man and believe in no sex or relationships before marriage but fapping became like a stop gap solution to avoiding those temptations.

During university my porn desires went down but i was around a lot of women clubbing and so on.

One thing i find might be helpful with jiggy's framework is using the same approach but supplementing the negation of an activity with implementing a positive one instead.

Example. when i go on holiday abroad and visit my very religious uncle and his family and our relatives and so on from my parents ancestral homeland the urge to fap there is very low. i'm surrounded by piety, clean thinking and simple living and it makes it much easier to follow a no fap, no sexual urges thing.

So maybe these suggestions can be paired with religious activities as well.

we have tasbih, catholics have rosaries, i'm sure there's similar in other christian denominations as well.

That could be something to take ones mind off when a sexual thought comes in.

similarly basic stuff like working out as well [not at the gym as there are a lot of women in too tight fitting leggings there], but maybe outside, or some kind of sport activity that kind of thing, to burn off excess energy.

Also another issue is just how many people who are religious still have this devil on their back of the urge to masturbate.

its become a huge problem and i do think one of the main problems is the decoupling of sex from reproduction.

sex with a beloved wife to have and raise a child or children for the pleasure of God and to strengthen the family unit is a beautiful thing.

But you see non reproductive sex in all its perilous debilitating forms pushed out onto the masses.

I remember listening to George St Pierre's trainer who is a man of faith talk about on a podcast about how he taught his children to stay away from homosexuality by emphasising the importance and beauty of the family unit and instilling in them this idea that they want to copy the family dynamic of their parents and their grandparents.

And that if they were to go away from a reproductive religious and family lifestyle as adults they can have that but they will lost their family.

I thought it was a beautiful way of teaching pro natalist, pro family, pro faith viewpoints to the young without the dreaded problem of directly addressing the sinful lifestyles others lead.

As its known most sex education in schools that talk about the abnormal like its normal just encourages more abnormality.

Anyway just wanted to say great post, i would like to know how long you've been no fapping for, and if you're doing that without any kind of relationship, and what you did about relapses.

very helpful stuff and i'm also glad Roosh signal boosted this thread in his recent email

Post: #25

Logged in to thank you for this post. Great write-up, and from my experience, every step is absolutely necessary. It took me *way* too long to figure that out -- so I suggest anyone reading this to save themselves a lot of time and stick religiously to the plan in the OP.

Some more tips that worked for me:

1. Install Cold Turkey and aggressively block porn sites and sites that "trigger" you and sites that lead you to such sites. Also block any sites you find yourself addicted to and browsing out of compulsion (e.g. Reddit in my case) for stimulation and dopamine hits.

2. Stay busy. I spend most of my waking life busy with my todo list and my goals -- I have little time to fap.

3. Sign up for Beeminder and pledge a high amount of money that will be paid out if you report yourself fapping. I don't remember how I set up my goal, you might have to experiment with the site or buy a subscription. It's absolutely worth it. I have to check in every day to report that I didn't fap -- if I don't, or if I fap, $80 is charged to my credit card. I haven't fapped since I started this goal.

Now that you've read the OP and this post, you need to start taking some serious steps. You can't let more of your life go to waste. NoFap has been life-changing for me, though I got way more benefits once I started abstinence as well. I've learned a lot about myself and gotten much closer to God.

Finally, I read a few of the replies here, and to the guys making excuses or justifying their inappropriate sexual behavior: you have no idea how addicted you are. Challenge: go a month, bare minimum, without fapping and fantasizing and come back to your posts here and see if you still agree with them.