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My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
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hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #101
RE: What should I do?
To the original post: My gut instinct says the old Red Pill wisdom about monkey branch swinging is true here: if a women wants to break up then she already grabbed has her new branch. Especially in a marriage! Most likely that she already commited adultery with her new prospect. If it is just a state obligated marriage then I would recommend to divorce ASAP. You should frame it yourself like that you have dodged a bullet.

Yes, being divorced is some kind of failure but it is better to accept failure than to fighting for a lost cause. Imagine that even if you can repair it somehow for now then you will still have a good chance that she will divorce you later. Maybe when you will have 1 or two kids. That would be a much worse outcome than divorcing now.

You should also reflect on yourself what should you have done different? And also start working on yourself to become the man that a women wants to stay with. I recommend the "16 commandments of poon" and "dread game". They give man directions how to handle a woman.

To all the black pillers: I believe that a good marriage is still possible to maintain. I am 6 years into marriage and we already have 3 children and it is still good. I live in an Eastern European country, not in the USA though. What I think works:

* You have to start the relationship on the alpha side. She has to genuinely want you. In todays sexual marketplace it is always true if she is young and commits to you early without pressure. The exceptions: if she is post wall and sees you as a provider or if she is talked into marriage by her family (which is extremely rare these days). So basically if a wahmen engages with you that means you start at a good position.
* You also have to be a good beta provider. Ideally you have to be able to support your family financially without your women working for money. You should not spend much on your wife or children but you have to provide what is necessary. I believe the better to reduce spending as much as possible instead of working harder or more for more money. Extra money should be used to invest in securing the future and not for luxury.
* You have to expect your wife to keep your place clean and to cook healthy food. We do a special diet which means much extra work because I do not eat most of pre prepared food that is possible to buy. What I see is that the expectation for this extra work places me to the position of authority. I also expect my wife and my children to eat healthily what also increases my perception as an authority.
* I also prohibit things in our home: moving picture (TV, Netflix, Youtube whatever), anything connected to degenerate culture are all prohibited in our home. I have banned TV before marriage and banned all moving picture for the children. And it made it almost impossible for my wife to watch screen. She has seen about 10 films in the last 5 years since we have a child. 0 series. And I have talked so much about subversion in films that she started to see that in films and it bothers her! Now we basically only watch classics and very rarely.
* You constantly have to work on her to adapt the new rules and lifestyle that you expect from day 1. Always shift the overton window. Then it is possible to achieve a good trad wife in a few years.
* You have to start a family ASAP. I think it is best to have a baby in the first happy phase of the first 1.5 years. But I did not do that myself so I am not sure. If your relationship gives no babies then her subconcious will start to work against you. Be warned!
* Having a baby is the point of no return. So be very cautious at that point. If she shows too many red flags then run before conception! It is not ethical to run after conception!
* You have to have babies constantly. At least 5. If she breastfeeds on demand (what I recommend because it is healthy for the child and egages the mother) then the children will come in every 3-5 years without contraception. YMMV
* No daycare etc. The children must engage her totally. Some babysitting by family (or by a professional if family is not there) is ok but in those times she has to be with you.
* No job for her. That is the source of all distraction from the devil! Make enough money, move to a cheaper place and live as simple as possible! But do not let her work for money!
* You have to decide important things about the children. Things that are "normally" decided by wahmen: health issues, hair style, school etc. You are the highest authority. If you don't like something then stop that thing!
* Always call out every degeneracy you see: how fucked divorced wahmen are, how disgusting tattoos are, etc. You can not change the whole world but your family has to know what you think about things. Do not expect your children to know how to behave because you tell them you are "conservative" or whatever. Tell them what is good and what is bad case by case.
* If she in engaged with the home and the children she will literally have no time to think about other men. It is best to prohibit or limit Facebook as well.
* I am totally _for game_ in marriage. Life is struggle not a nice walk in the park. It is not possible to achieve things without constant work.
* The SMV time graph works for you: her SMV will go down fast. When the children are grown her SMV will be _very_ different from her initial SMV. But you will keep your value because you improve yourself and work out regularly. Yes there will be thirsty guys out there who will want to heck the 5 children wife but they will have much lower SMV than you have.

Ideal case: 17 year old wife gives birth at 18. She will be 36 when she gives birth to your 6th child and 39 when she becomes "free" from duties of a baby child. She will not have much free time for finding lovers and her SMV is where a 39 year old mom's SMV is. She will be pleased and happy that you are still around to provide her.

I hesitate about the question whether a wife has to dress pretty: if she spends too much time on being pretty the chances are that she dresses for someone else. Actually once you have married her it is _not your interest_ that she is pretty. Do not let her get fat because that causes health issues for your children. But all other stuff:pretty clothes, high heels, make up etc are unnecessary.
11-21-2019 05:09 AM
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d'Aversa Offline
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Post: #102
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
Nice post. If you truly practice what you preach here, it's impressive, and I hope your hard work pays off.

Quote:* I also prohibit things in our home: moving picture (TV, Netflix, Youtube whatever), anything connected to degenerate culture are all prohibited in our home. I have banned TV before marriage and banned all moving picture for the children. And it made it almost impossible for my wife to watch screen. She has seen about 10 films in the last 5 years since we have a child. 0 series. And I have talked so much about subversion in films that she started to see that in films and it bothers her! Now we basically only watch classics and very rarely.

Pardon the redundancy as I repeat this point in multiple posts, but it's one of my biggest concerns; how do you plan to avoid your children feeling ostracized by others for being forbidden these modern conveniences? It might lead to them hating you, distancing themselves from the family and seeing what they're losing as attractive, because kids don't like being told not to do a thing. It's a good idea to limit the use of media and technology until they're old enough to understand the dangers and consequences (let's say, 13), but what until then?
11-21-2019 08:15 AM
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Tex Offline
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Post: #103
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
^Is that impressive or is it cartoonish?

Acting as much as you can like the average oblivious grandpa in the 1970’s doesn’t do anything for the society, and if you think you’re at least protecting your soul from being banned to hell then maybe that’s actually cowardice because you’d rather shut down than confront the world and risk losing your wits then going to hell.

We’re not in a shockingly degenerate society for lack of old people who shut themselves out of everything modern two decades ago. I think we have a duty to be a little more sophisticated than that.

That’s the challenging thing about being in a new age, in any age—you have a responsibility to come up with something new. There are timeless elements you have to be in touch with. But you also have to actually apply them to *right now.*. How does banning using a screen do that for your girlfriend. And how does calling “moving picture technology” blankly degenerate do that. There’s already a globe full of people doing that and look where we’re at now.

Nuance is needed.

PapayaTapper Wrote:you seem to have a penchant for sticking your dick in high drama retarded trash.
11-21-2019 10:17 AM
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hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #104
RE: What should I do?
(11-21-2019 08:15 AM)dAversa Wrote:  it's one of my biggest concerns; how do you plan to avoid your children feeling ostracized by others for being forbidden these modern conveniences?

I dunno :-). Now the eldest is 5 years old and she feels good at kindergarten (it is mandatory in Hungary from 4 years old age). When we meet other families and children she plays nicely with the children. I absolutely see 0 problems about this issue.

It is a normal state kindergarten. A good one because we live in a nice area but still a state operated kindergarten. All other children watch TV and eat regular unhelthy stuff. We are the only exceptions and it does not cause any problem. Being different is not a problem ever only people fear it somehow. Children bully the physically or mentally weak not the different one.

I was myself somewhat restricted from TV: I did not know many of the current shows, heroes and such. It caused me 0 problems in life. What you know from TV is very shallow either. You can play Jedi even if you have never seen Star Wars ever - just follow what the others do. That's all. Do you think children do sophisticated talks about the Jedi phylosophy or whatever? They pick up a sword and a laser gun and start fighting and yelling. That's all.

(I am a little concerned that my daughter already likes Elsa even though Disney is absolutely banned in our home. Elza is on clothes of children everywhere. Is Elsa really going to come out as a lesbian? Or did she already?)

If it will be a serious issue then I will handle it. Now it is not a problem at all.

(11-21-2019 10:17 AM)Tex Wrote:  Acting as much as you can like the average oblivious grandpa in the 1970’s doesn’t do anything for the society

Nope. If the average elders did not allow their sons and daughters to watch TV then we would not have a TV problem now. What I remember is that TV was allowed in moderate amounts or as a reward in some families. Actually I don't know anyone who had no TV at home at all. Moving picture (I use the generic term because I don't care if it is TV, computer, smartphone or whatever.) is an addictive helluva drug for the children. And even worse is the thing that children learn how the world works from what they see. And films are totally fake. For example young men try to act like the TV heroes to pick up girls. And it will not work. And so on. If you don't let them watch films then they will only see real patterns and they will have a more accurate knowledge of the world. Especially about human interactions.

And it is also a difference that I myself do not watch moving pictures when my children are there. I watch at work and in the night sometimes closed into my working room using headphones. They may know that I watch them but for chilren what they do not see is not really a reality. I mostly watch not mainstream stuff like Roosh Hour or JF Gariepy. I plan to watch Nick Fuentes as well.

I was misunderstandable about prohibiting screen: we use email and read news, only moving picture is banned when the children see it. And the children are not really banned from the screen: it just does not interest them. They don't care. Because without moving stuff it is not more interesting than the newspaper your grandpa was reading. (We have one exception: video conference with family members is allowed and the children take part of that.)

I will not ban it altogether forever. Maybe later we will watch a film now and then - I just don't see the point for now. Maybe I will teach them to program the computer - especially my son. Then they will be allowed to access a computer. But still filtered somehow. I don't know all the details yet.

(11-21-2019 10:17 AM)Tex Wrote:  How does banning using a screen do that for your girlfriend. And how does calling “moving picture technology” blankly degenerate do that.

Women are basically corrupted by workplace and media. If you restrict workplace and media you restrict the corruption you have to fight. It makes your life easier. It is so simple.

The other aspect why it is useful because I practice my authority by banning something. You have to practice your authority from time to time just so that your wife knows that you have authority.

I have made a restricted diet mandatory for health issues first but now I see that just the fact that I have made my family follow the diet and also the grandparents to only give allowed food to our children was an act of authority that was very helpful. It is a good thing if you set up limits for your family.

(11-21-2019 10:17 AM)Tex Wrote:  There’s already a globe full of people doing that and look where we’re at now.

That is exactly what I do. And what I see is that most people are screen addicted. They also have an alarmingly short attention span. People can not relate to each other in person, only through their phones. Yes, we have a lot of fancy gadgets: most of them are superflous. It is hard to admit: I am a programmer myself and I admit that most of what I program what I am proud of as an engineer is superflous.

Our responsibility as a generation is to restore mental and physical health, order and authority. And certainly to give life to the next generation. That is what I work to achieve. Until now banning moving picture only helps me achieving my goals.
11-21-2019 12:09 PM
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SnowHugger Offline
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Post: #105
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
Following up on the situation.

I've talked to a Lawyer. He said he's never seen a joint application for divorce with adultery. Usually, it's just one of the parties.

Having said that, the judge requires proof that's more than just suspicions that she cheated. I don't think I'll be able to get that.

The current way we are thinking of doing this is to get legally separated and to file for divorce in a year.

I'm a little worried about the separation agreement being challenged in the future by either of us and it's apparently best to get lawyers involved to draft it and review it. (Of course it is, fucking hell.) Drafting it costs between 1.5k and 2.5k, who knows how much it'll cost to review. Then they provide suggestions to both parties, so it could be in review for months.

Not sure what to do in this case.
11-22-2019 12:37 PM
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hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #106
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-22-2019 12:37 PM)SnowHugger Wrote:  Drafting it costs between 1.5k and 2.5k, who knows how much it'll cost to review.

That escalated quickly. Reviewing your posts tells me that the wammen has planned everything already. You had no chance at the point when she popped up this shit.

There is not much to do here. I dunno your financial situation but I want to ask: if you don't have a dispute over money isn't it possible to create the documents yourself? Is it really necessary to pay for a parasite lawyer money for this? At the end that could cost more than the money disputed. I would try to agree on the money with my ex-wife so I could end the process fast and cheap.
11-23-2019 07:10 AM
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SnowHugger Offline
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Post: #107
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-23-2019 07:10 AM)hkhathaj Wrote:  
(11-22-2019 12:37 PM)SnowHugger Wrote:  Drafting it costs between 1.5k and 2.5k, who knows how much it'll cost to review.

That escalated quickly. Reviewing your posts tells me that the wammen has planned everything already. You had no chance at the point when she popped up this shit.

There is not much to do here. I dunno your financial situation but I want to ask: if you don't have a dispute over money isn't it possible to create the documents yourself? Is it really necessary to pay for a parasite lawyer money for this? At the end that could cost more than the money disputed. I would try to agree on the money with my ex-wife so I could end the process fast and cheap.

Talked to a lot of people, and they said we don't even need documents. Just to go file for divorce.

But it's a little suspicious that we don't need documents. Is it really all over after the judge grants the divorce?
11-23-2019 12:20 PM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #108
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-23-2019 12:20 PM)SnowHugger Wrote:  
(11-23-2019 07:10 AM)hkhathaj Wrote:  
(11-22-2019 12:37 PM)SnowHugger Wrote:  Drafting it costs between 1.5k and 2.5k, who knows how much it'll cost to review.

That escalated quickly. Reviewing your posts tells me that the wammen has planned everything already. You had no chance at the point when she popped up this shit.

There is not much to do here. I dunno your financial situation but I want to ask: if you don't have a dispute over money isn't it possible to create the documents yourself? Is it really necessary to pay for a parasite lawyer money for this? At the end that could cost more than the money disputed. I would try to agree on the money with my ex-wife so I could end the process fast and cheap.

Talked to a lot of people, and they said we don't even need documents. Just to go file for divorce.

But it's a little suspicious that we don't need documents. Is it really all over after the judge grants the divorce?

Yes. At least here in most of the States the "judgement" is final in the decree

EDit: I agree with poster above. You have no significant assets to divvy up nor children to set custody for so paying lawyers seems unnecessary.

Thats the upside (if there is one) of her having already grabbed the next "branch". She's just wanting this as quickly as possible over so she can get on with her new future ex husband

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 11-23-2019 03:28 PM by PapayaTapper.)
11-23-2019 03:12 PM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #109
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-17-2019 09:55 PM)SnowHugger Wrote:  Dates are fine. We've been married for 3 years after. She can apply for passport now too. Maybe I have been gamed for this, the timing does line up too well. Sucks balls if that's why.

Hey man, happens to the best of us. Well at least, it happened to me. I actually lived over there for a few years with her, learned to speak Russian pretty well, had her tearfully ask me to promise we'd be together forever, etc., things like that, before I married her and took her to the US. It all seemed very real to me and still does sometimes when I think back on it...for years after our divorce I'd see her and sometimes she'd even cry and say she still loved me. Still, those dates for permanent residency line up pretty well with when things fell apart, I have to admit.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-23-2019 10:58 PM
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Post: #110
RE:
Facepalm
You guys need to stop playing this marriage game.
11-23-2019 11:40 PM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #111
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-23-2019 11:40 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Facepalm
You guys need to stop playing this marriage game.

What if we want to have children and/or sex while avoiding fornication?

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-24-2019 12:32 AM
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PapayaTapper Away
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Post: #112
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-24-2019 12:32 AM)bucky Wrote:  
(11-23-2019 11:40 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Facepalm
You guys need to stop playing this marriage game.

What if we want to have children and/or sex while avoiding fornication?

[Image: 9324d0bbc42ccdef45539c4152de48a2.jpg]

_______________________________________
- Does She Have The "Happy Gene" ?
-Inversion Therapy
-Let's lead by example


"Leap, and the net will appear". John Burroughs

"The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure."
Joseph Campbell
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2019 12:56 AM by PapayaTapper.)
11-24-2019 12:55 AM
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Post: #113
RE:
(11-24-2019 12:32 AM)bucky Wrote:  What if we want to have children and/or sex while avoiding fornication?

You can't. It's an oxymoron.

If you want to have children/sex, go ahead and just do it.
No need for a marriage. It's nothing but...

Malehamster
11-24-2019 01:04 AM
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bucky Offline
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Post: #114
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-24-2019 01:04 AM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(11-24-2019 12:32 AM)bucky Wrote:  What if we want to have children and/or sex while avoiding fornication?

You can't. It's an oxymoron.

If you want to have children/sex, go ahead and just do it.
No need for a marriage. It's nothing but...

Malehamster

I've been married to my devout Catholic Central American wife for about five years now. We have children. Life is good, far better than if I'd continued drifting around the world from one woman to another as I did when I was younger. That had its moments, but I much prefer my life now to trying to be a PUA or player or something like that while pushing 50. It's not easy to find good marriage material nowadays, but it can happen. I'd argue that faith in Christ gives you the best fighting chance.

As far as your idea about intentionally fathering children who will grow up without their mom and dad together, that's awful advice on many levels and you're a terrible excuse for a man if you do that.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-24-2019 01:31 AM
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SilentOne Offline
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Post: #115
RE:
(11-24-2019 01:31 AM)bucky Wrote:  I've been married to my devout Catholic Central American wife for about five years now. We have children. Life is good, far better than if I'd continued drifting around the world from one woman to another as I did when I was younger. That had its moments, but I much prefer my life now to trying to be a PUA or player or something like that while pushing 50. It's not easy to find good marriage material nowadays, but it can happen. I'd argue that faith in Christ gives you the best fighting chance.

As far as your idea about intentionally fathering children who will grow up without their mom and dad together, that's awful advice on many levels and you're a terrible excuse for a man if you do that.

I never once said to become a PUA or a player. Those are your words. Not mines.

All I said is marriage is a proven statistical failure in our current society. The negatives it brings far out weighs any rewards that it offers. Its a beyond silly concept nowadays.

You've only been married about 5 measly years. That's nothing. The average is about 7-8 years. Come talk to me when you reach year 20. If you make it that far. Just fyi... when a divorce occurs, 80% of the time women end it and the male counterpart are completely shocked.

Your shaming tactic won't work on me. I won't fall for that slave trap. Laugh

Also just because you get married doesn't mean you actually get to raise the kid. Are you completely blind to the fact that women take the kid in divorce nearly every time.

Now there's 25% child support and 50% alimony knocking at your door. And the child doesn't live with you. Hooray.
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2019 01:57 AM by SilentOne.)
11-24-2019 01:50 AM
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niledelta Away
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Post: #116
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-24-2019 01:50 AM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(11-24-2019 01:31 AM)bucky Wrote:  I've been married to my devout Catholic Central American wife for about five years now. We have children. Life is good, far better than if I'd continued drifting around the world from one woman to another as I did when I was younger. That had its moments, but I much prefer my life now to trying to be a PUA or player or something like that while pushing 50. It's not easy to find good marriage material nowadays, but it can happen. I'd argue that faith in Christ gives you the best fighting chance.

As far as your idea about intentionally fathering children who will grow up without their mom and dad together, that's awful advice on many levels and you're a terrible excuse for a man if you do that.

I never once said to become a PUA or a player. Those are your words. Not mines.

All I said is marriage is a proven statistical failure in our current society. The negatives it brings far out weighs any rewards that it offers. Its a beyond silly concept nowadays.

You've only been married about 5 measly years. That's nothing. The average is about 7-8 years. Come talk to me when you reach year 20. If you make it that far. Just fyi... when a divorce occurs, 80% of the time women end it and the male counterpart are completely shocked.

Your shaming tactic won't work on me. I won't fall for that slave trap. Laugh

Also just because you get married doesn't mean you actually get to raise the kid. Are you completely blind to the fact that women take the kid in divorce nearly every time.

Now there's 25% child support and 50% alimony knocking at your door. And the child doesn't live with you. Hooray.

One of the things about being a man is that you know the risks in life but pursue what is righteous in spite of this.

Once you can give advice without marinading it in your beta cowardliness why don't you come back and speak to us then.
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2019 03:39 AM by niledelta.)
11-24-2019 03:37 AM
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hkhathaj Offline
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Post: #117
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-24-2019 01:50 AM)SilentOne Wrote:  All I said is marriage is a proven statistical failure in our current society. The negatives it brings far out weighs any rewards that it offers. Its a beyond silly concept nowadays.

I agree on that somewhat that if you are not religious then the marriage contract itself is something that you can only loose on. The only exception is that some women will not want to have children without a marriage. What I find totally understandable.

OTOH you have to see that the statistics do not apply for us! If you screen your woman through the Red Pill lens and you know and apply the rules of game then you are very much not an average Joe. You have much better chances for a working marriage than the average Joe. Most of the people are totally clueless and we have the best knowledge possible about wammen!

How does statistics of clueless guys apply to me? It just doesn't. If I thought that average Joe statistics apply to me that would mean that I think Red Pill knowledge and game does not work and I am not better than AVG Joe. But I am better and I know it. Still I have some chance to fail I don't deny that.

A family with many children is my goal of life. I am not a coward to not do what I have to due to some fear of fail.

Disclaimer: my family status is 6 years of marriage and 3 children. I have a religion that has no church currently so I could not have a religious marriage. When I told my wife that I want children she told me ok but we have to be married. For this reason we had a state marriage which was acceptable for her even though her family is catholic they wanted a catholic marriage which I did not want. Even though it is not a religious marriage due to technical reasons I assume we married before God. I also made an oath to God and the people at the wedding that I will take care of my family and never leave them.
11-24-2019 06:24 AM
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RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced.
(11-24-2019 06:24 AM)hkhathaj Wrote:  
(11-24-2019 01:50 AM)SilentOne Wrote:  All I said is marriage is a proven statistical failure in our current society. The negatives it brings far out weighs any rewards that it offers. Its a beyond silly concept nowadays.

I agree on that somewhat that if you are not religious then the marriage contract itself is something that you can only loose on. The only exception is that some women will not want to have children without a marriage. What I find totally understandable.

OTOH you have to see that the statistics do not apply for us! If you screen your woman through the Red Pill lens and you know and apply the rules of game then you are very much not an average Joe. You have much better chances for a working marriage than the average Joe. Most of the people are totally clueless and we have the best knowledge possible about wammen!

How does statistics of clueless guys apply to me? It just doesn't. If I thought that average Joe statistics apply to me that would mean that I think Red Pill knowledge and game does not work and I am not better than AVG Joe. But I am better and I know it. Still I have some chance to fail I don't deny that.

A family with many children is my goal of life. I am not a coward to not do what I have to due to some fear of fail.

Disclaimer: my family status is 6 years of marriage and 3 children. I have a religion that has no church currently so I could not have a religious marriage. When I told my wife that I want children she told me ok but we have to be married. For this reason we had a state marriage which was acceptable for her even though her family is catholic they wanted a catholic marriage which I did not want. Even though it is not a religious marriage due to technical reasons I assume we married before God. I also made an oath to God and the people at the wedding that I will take care of my family and never leave them.

I have work colleagues who are not religious and married to non-religious American women and seem to be happy in their marriages. Nevertheless, I agree that marrying a godless woman is not a good idea. I understand Silent One's fear of marriage, but as someone else said above, part of being a man is taking risks to do the right thing. I think the point of discussions like this on an explicitly Christian, red-pilled forum is how can a man do that as far as women, marriage, and having a family are concerned.

Silent One says that he's not advocating a player lifestyle, but he also said that if you want sex, have sex but don't get married. I'm not going to be sanctimonious about that. I get that pretty much any Christian denomination views sex outside of marriage as gravelly sinful, but I can't promise I wouldn't fornicate if I didn't have a wife and kids.

Where I will call Silent One out is his advice to go ahead and have kids without getting married. SO, if you're reading you can try to clarify what you mean if you want, but I can't see how this is anything but terrible advice. Most importantly, you're creating a kid who will grow up without one parent, probably without a dad. Better you just remain childless than intentionally create a child knowing he'll have no father in the house. Now maybe you meant have kids with a woman and live with her without getting married, but that also makes no sense even if you think it's not sinful and are a sociopath who doesn't care about your kids and just wants them out there to know that your DNA has a shot at outliving you. In any developed country if you have children with a woman and live with her, you're going to be considered legally married within a certain amount of time. Sure, I've lived in third world countries where guys routinely abandon their children and do nothing to support them and there's no legal structure in place to do anything about it, but even in the very unlikely event you move to Central America or Africa, have a bunch of kids with a local woman, then abandon them, we're back to you being a sociopath and, if you believe in that sort of thing, a grievous sinner in the eyes of God,

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-24-2019 08:53 AM
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RE:
(11-24-2019 03:37 AM)niledelta Wrote:  One of the things about being a man is that you know the risks in life but pursue what is righteous in spite of this.

Once you can give advice without marinading it in your beta cowardliness why don't you come back and speak to us then.

What are you rambling on about?

The simple act of signing a marriage certificate today is beta and ignorant. You can try to rationalize it all you want.


(11-24-2019 08:53 AM)bucky Wrote:  Where I will call Silent One out is his advice to go ahead and have kids without getting married. SO, if you're reading you can try to clarify what you mean if you want, but I can't see how this is anything but terrible advice. Most importantly, you're creating a kid who will grow up without one parent, probably without a dad. Better you just remain childless than intentionally create a child knowing he'll have no father in the house. Now maybe you meant have kids with a woman and live with her without getting married, but that also makes no sense even if you think it's not sinful and are a sociopath who doesn't care about your kids and just wants them out there to know that your DNA has a shot at outliving you. In any developed country if you have children with a woman and live with her, you're going to be considered legally married within a certain amount of time.

Now I'm a sociopath... Huh

Look, marriage does not protect you. At all. Like I said earlier, just because you have children through a marriage doesn't mean you will get to raise them. She will take the kid and the house like all the others when she gets bored or vindictive. It doesn't matter how she is today, its about what she is capable of doing tomorrow with no repercussions. Infact she gets gifts for ending it.


It's just mind-boggling why men must learn the hard way like SnowHugger who was also shocked. No offense. This is not an attack on you. He is the norm, not the exception.

The good thing here is you can recover from a divorce in your 20s and 30s no problem. In your 40s, its situational. When your 50+, you're done. You have a chance if you're wealthy to begin with.
11-24-2019 03:20 PM
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RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced.
(11-24-2019 03:20 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Now I'm a sociopath... Huh

Can you clarify what you meant when you advised guys to have children without getting married in some way that doesn't boil down to one of these:

1) Knock women up and abandon them and your children.
2) Llive with your children and their mother without formally marrying her even though that's a common-law marriage with exactly the same legal and financial ramifications.

Because the first is sociopathic behavior, and the second doesn't make sense.

Marriage is risky nowadays. That's the cards we've been dealt as guys living in current year. Regardless, it's the only way if you want children without being a sociopath (I'm trying to think of a better word...maybe "shitty father"?). Game and faith in Christ are your best shot.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
11-24-2019 03:46 PM
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RE:
(11-24-2019 03:46 PM)bucky Wrote:  
(11-24-2019 03:20 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Now I'm a sociopath... Huh

Can you clarify what you meant when you advised guys to have children without getting married in some way that doesn't boil down to one of these:

1) Knock women up and abandon them and your children.
2) Llive with your children and their mother without formally marrying her even though that's a common-law marriage with exactly the same legal and financial ramifications.

Because the first is sociopathic behavior, and the second doesn't make sense.

Marriage is risky nowadays. That's the cards we've been dealt as guys living in current year. Regardless, it's the only way if you want children without being a sociopath (I'm trying to think of a better word...maybe "shitty father"?). Game and faith in Christ are your best shot.

The problem here is that you've been programmed to think this way.

With number one, i agree there are some shitty father's out there. Although, let's not go think that every man who doesn't live with his child abandoned them. Sometime these men come home to an empty house with everything gone including the child. The mom just took them across the state or country without notifying the dad. It happens.

With two. Not all places have common law. For the places that do, find you a lawyer who can possibly legally write that you two live together but not married ever. If this isn't possible where you stay, then you can't live together. It sucks but you got to adjust to this silly rigged game.

And look at it this way, how many guys would get on a plane knowing fully well that it has more than 50% chance of crashing before reaching its destination. Any takers?

I bet none. Because this time they are not blinded by lust.

You can still become a family men without marriage. Just as you can still not raise your child while married.

I understand the guys in the past who were ignorant, but now you guys are warned by me with knowledge. You can't blame society or the women for divorce raping you anymore. And I bet the ones who told you to get married will say "you chose the wrong one" once that divorce occurs. Offering nothing else but that. I'm just here to make you more aware before making such a critical decision that doesn't benefit you at all.
11-24-2019 04:48 PM
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Post: #122
RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
OP:

Go split the money in the bank together, amicably, on your own terms. Try to involve lawyers as little as possible.

Once all the assets are split (I recommend taking the dog, as this woman will not be responsible enough to care for it, and you still have a responsibility to the animal even if the wife turfed your relationship).

The year waiting period for a divorce in Canada is no hitch to any of your plans. You just wait the year out, and in the final months get a friend to recommend a lawyer they know (so he will have less chance of acting like a bloodsucker since there is a personal connection). The lawyer will draw up the necessary (minimal) papers, you will both sign them, and he will file them.

Stay amicable but barely communicate with your now-ex the entire time. At some point during that year, someone will put it into her mind that she should go after you for more or otherwise complicate the process. Laugh it off, say that won't happen, but stay even-keeled and polite.

You dodged a bullet, you have a loyal dog, and a job offer in a better country. At this point, since there is nothing else you can do, look on the bright side.

Feel free to PM me about anything. I also had a wife from EE, we lived in Canada, and we got a divorce when we were in our late 20s. Besides the obvious bad news about breaking up a marriage, it was otherwise painless, and both of our lives are way better after the fact.
11-24-2019 06:34 PM
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RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-19-2019 09:12 PM)PainPositive Wrote:  Howard, you're entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong you are. You give advice like a used up old hag who watches Dr. Phil so stop projecting at me. Ask someone who's a priest, pastor, what the grounds for divorce are and then come talk at me boomer.

Blind still leading the blind here. Why would he take marriage advice from used up divorced, broken people who've damaged themselves with multiple divorces? I thought all the rule changes were to start giving advice from a Christian perspective not a "womb raider" perspective. Divorce is serious, his first step it to find out if infidelity has occurred.

Your comments, their style, and your liberal use of insults in this thread are way too emotional and histrionic to be taken seriously.

Since we're doling out Christian advice: you need to pray for more wisdom, social grace, and humility.
11-24-2019 06:52 PM
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insults
(11-24-2019 06:52 PM)TooFineAPoint Wrote:  
(11-19-2019 09:12 PM)PainPositive Wrote:  Howard, you're entitled to your opinion no matter how wrong you are. You give advice like a used up old hag who watches Dr. Phil so stop projecting at me. Ask someone who's a priest, pastor, what the grounds for divorce are and then come talk at me boomer.

Blind still leading the blind here. Why would he take marriage advice from used up divorced, broken people who've damaged themselves with multiple divorces? I thought all the rule changes were to start giving advice from a Christian perspective not a "womb raider" perspective. Divorce is serious, his first step it to find out if infidelity has occurred.

Your comments, their style, and your liberal use of insults in this thread are way too emotional and histrionic to be taken seriously.

Since we're doling out Christian advice: you need to pray for more wisdom, social grace, and humility.

Since we're talking histrionics, run those words and insults through the gender guesser and:
[Image: Screen-Shot-2019-11-24-at-8-42-06-PM.png]

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11-24-2019 08:46 PM
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RE: My wife doesn't love me anymore and I think we will get divorced. What should I do?
(11-24-2019 04:48 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  
(11-24-2019 03:46 PM)bucky Wrote:  
(11-24-2019 03:20 PM)SilentOne Wrote:  Now I'm a sociopath... Huh

Can you clarify what you meant when you advised guys to have children without getting married in some way that doesn't boil down to one of these:

1) Knock women up and abandon them and your children.
2) Llive with your children and their mother without formally marrying her even though that's a common-law marriage with exactly the same legal and financial ramifications.

Because the first is sociopathic behavior, and the second doesn't make sense.

Marriage is risky nowadays. That's the cards we've been dealt as guys living in current year. Regardless, it's the only way if you want children without being a sociopath (I'm trying to think of a better word...maybe "shitty father"?). Game and faith in Christ are your best shot.

The problem here is that you've been programmed to think this way.

With number one, i agree there are some shitty father's out there. Although, let's not go think that every man who doesn't live with his child abandoned them. Sometime these men come home to an empty house with everything gone including the child. The mom just took them across the state or country without notifying the dad. It happens.

With two. Not all places have common law. For the places that do, find you a lawyer who can possibly legally write that you two live together but not married ever. If this isn't possible where you stay, then you can't live together. It sucks but you got to adjust to this silly rigged game.

And look at it this way, how many guys would get on a plane knowing fully well that it has more than 50% chance of crashing before reaching its destination. Any takers?

I bet none. Because this time they are not blinded by lust.

You can still become a family men without marriage. Just as you can still not raise your child while married.

I understand the guys in the past who were ignorant, but now you guys are warned by me with knowledge. You can't blame society or the women for divorce raping you anymore. And I bet the ones who told you to get married will say "you chose the wrong one" once that divorce occurs. Offering nothing else but that. I'm just here to make you more aware before making such a critical decision that doesn't benefit you at all.

Now I'm having trouble following your meaning. I can't tell whether or not you're saying it's OK to intentionally knock up a woman while not intending to spend the rest of your life with her and your child. You might be saying that you first need to make sure you're in a part of the world where no common law marriage exists, then knock her up, then live with her for the rest of your life without being formally married. I can basically get behind this because in this case you're doing all you can to ensure the child is raised with his mother and father under the same roof. If you're encouraging men to bring children into the world with the intention that they be raised any other way, you're just evil and no one on this forum should listen to you.

By the way, where in the developed world is there no common law marriage? I was under the impression that there is no such place, but I suppose I might be wrong.

Feminism in ten words: "Stop objectifying women! Can't you see I've hit the wall?" -Leonard D Neubache
(This post was last modified: 11-24-2019 09:19 PM by bucky.)
11-24-2019 09:18 PM
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