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What are your biggest insights from 2019?
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No More Mr. Soy Boy Offline
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Post: #1
What are your biggest insights from 2019?
Since the year is about to come to an end I thought this could be an interesting question even though it might be slightly difficult to give an immediate answer.

But what are what were your biggest insights/realizations/epiphanies during 2019? Life, politics, religion, relationships, anything.


Mine:

- Relationships

I realized just how much the ability to apologise actually says about a person. It's much more important than I previously thought.

Looking back, it's been a huge tell between the people I've encountered in my life who ultimately just expected to suck and take value from me and those who have made an effort to provide value into mine as well.

Most people seem to value their pride over than having me in their lives (after say, an argument where they clearly did fuck up but were unable to admit it). I think there will be little room for improvement within a person who's not willing to look at their own faults and mistakes and take self-ownership. If they're not willing or prepared to lower their guard at times as well, they can fuck out of your life anyway.

So I will hold on better to those are able to.



- Career

I've also realised just how sloppy and lazy most people are at their jobs and just want to do the bare minimum.

I came into a new job and a company with very good reputation in the field.
I originally thought that everyone were trying to do the extra to climb the ladder but I quickly found out that pretty much everyone tries to take shortcuts instead and dislike it if someone dares to try and change things and raise the standard you're seen as an idiot for trying.

I used to think it was due to my company having bought a monopoly from the state in the field (so it doesn't really matter how good service you actually provide customers since cash will be flowing in anyway) but I've seen kind of the same pattern at other jobs as well.
Maybe this a result from more women in the workforce, living a country which celebrates social democracy, I don't know, but it has made me more focused on starting my own thing.

I guess I'll come up with more later on.
(This post was last modified: 11-28-2019 10:20 PM by No More Mr. Soy Boy.)
11-28-2019 10:19 PM
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TigOlBitties Offline
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RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
Mine is how overrated large cities are. They're incredibly left wing, dirty, overpriced, too congested, enable bad behavior etc. I'd much rather be around a smaller amount of people that I have more in common with, and have easier access to the outdoors. The friendships and relationships would mean more. It may not be as exciting, but if you don't need the nightlufe then it doesn't matter. Most peoples' view of excitement is boring anyway. I don't need loud bars, with overpriced food/drinks and irritating people (especially the women). It sucks if you have to be in a big city for work, but I'm willing to learn a skill that's needed all over.

Another one is to stop caring what society thinks you should do, especially regarding women and work. This ties into the city thing, but I don't think it's worth it to stay in a place long term because that's where mpre women are. Most of these city women are awful. I'd rather live the lifestyle that brings true happiness than waiting for some unicorn. If I find a woman that wants to come along for the ride, that's cool. Regarding work, as long as you can find something you can tolerate doing every day, that allows you to do the things you want and with a reasonable ceiling, then you have everything you need. Impressing the Joneses with a fancier title and useless shit is a waste of time if you don't care about stuff like that. A woman that wouldn't appreciate the work you do should be avoided at all costs.
11-29-2019 01:06 AM
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probiotics Offline
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Post: #3
RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
- Material possessions and consumerism are a vain glory.

- Solitude is sanity. Reading the Count of Monte Cristo unabridged was a highlight of this year for me. One of the greatest stories ever told.

- Cities are anti-human and unnatural. On a macro scale, all our (USA) major cities have completed their transition into ghettos. Very destructive on the human psyche. Give me a garden, a small creek, a tiny house on a hill accessible by a dirt road, and a chicken coop and I will live 10x more fulfilling life than a city dweller.

- God is real and never abating. I am convinced more and more that God is at work. The ebbs and flows of the human experience, trivial and grand, the rise and fall of all things in the daily concourse of our society are constant reaffirmations of my faith that nothing is an accident and that all things are a work of God.

- It's okay to say 'no' in a reassured manner.

- I don't owe an explanation to anyone for my preferences.

- I am not responsible for everything that goes wrong and so I can forgive myself and stop carrying so much baggage.

- People are willing to haggle over price in the USA. I am very parsimonious with my spending and if I can get what I want for less than full price for a bit of verbal sparring, this is preferable to me. Try it. If you see an item that you want and it has been sitting on the shelf for a while, do the following routine:
1) Talk to a general store associate and mention (don't ask) that you have seen xx item on the shelf for a while.
2) Tell the store associate that you are looking to buy xx item RIGHT NOW.
Say the following: "Is your manager in? I'll take this off your hands if you guys can give a discount."
3) If they say they won't do discounts, do a bit of small talk and then say "thanks but I'll head over to XX store now. They were able to help me out on the price last time I offered to buy." If the manager asks for what specific item you bought, you can tell them, but I usually don't. It's really not their business.
4) If they do offer a discount, ask if they can round the price (downward) to a nice even number. This doesn't always work but it doesn't hurt to ask.

The discovery of haggling in a culture that generally doesn't haggle has shown me that humans are infinitely malleable.

- With relationships: A take it or leave it system has been the most optimal. Stop trying to force a change in someone or yourself to be compatible. No need to force relationship compatibility. I've found it much more efficient and optimal to find the few people that I am thoroughly compatible with versus being incompatible with a bunch of 'nice' associates.
(This post was last modified: 11-29-2019 02:03 AM by probiotics.)
11-29-2019 01:58 AM
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gework Offline
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RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
^ I'm not keen on haggling. It's a particularly Indian phenomena and a hallmark of their society where the price is whatever they can rip you for. In The West it's become fairly established that we know what the prices are and people generally don't question that. Prices are the same for everyone. You don't have to walk in a shop wondering if the owner is going to try and rip you. It's more civilised.

Relationships (women): If the most important thing in a woman's life is not family then she is not serious. And if it's not the most important thing in your life, you are not serious. It's the only thing that will be with you in your life until you die. But so many prioritise the near- and medium-term - travel, hobbies, entertainment, hookups, jobs...

Relationships (friends): The value of friends who are more honest than general and aren't trying to use you as some prop for how they see themselves is incredibly valuable. You'll hear and see very little in society that suggests the value of this, yet it's something the post-wall and general city dweller come to crave. If you have it regularly remind yourself. I realised that if I lost this then I would be very alone in the world and would probably end up trying to fill it with the tat people in cities fill their lives with.

Social atomisation: People are increasingly distant from well-rooted social fabric, particularly the kind that is inter-generational. People in cities are surrounded by a sea of people with no roots. There are few marks of social trust and it's far easier to act dishonestly. Try banging a few daughters in a village of 1,000 and you've ruined your rep and exhausted much of the supply of women. In a city you can rinse and repeat every night and hook into a slurry of women who regularly welcome unvetted strangers into their life.
11-29-2019 06:56 AM
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mr-ed209 Offline
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Post: #5
RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
(11-28-2019 10:19 PM)No More Mr. Soy Boy Wrote:  - Career

I've also realised just how sloppy and lazy most people are at their jobs and just want to do the bare minimum.

I came into a new job and a company with very good reputation in the field.
I originally thought that everyone were trying to do the extra to climb the ladder but I quickly found out that pretty much everyone tries to take shortcuts instead and dislike it if someone dares to try and change things and raise the standard you're seen as an idiot for trying.

I used to think it was due to my company having bought a monopoly from the state in the field (so it doesn't really matter how good service you actually provide customers since cash will be flowing in anyway) but I've seen kind of the same pattern at other jobs as well.
Maybe this a result from more women in the workforce, living a country which celebrates social democracy, I don't know, but it has made me more focused on starting my own thing.

I guess I'll come up with more later on.

The Gervais Principle covers that phenomenon spot on, it's pretty much always existed in the world of work. Ultimately most people at corporations come to realise their extra efforts are futile and go unrewarded; that work isn't some graded high school class that will offer them prestige or status for being the best. Couple that with interests away from work such as friends and family, most (quite sensibly) decide to treat work as a means to an end. Check in, check out and take your money.

People who try harder are somewhat rightfully viewed as being naive. Obviously all this goes away if you own and operate your own business where your work directly influences the pay outs you receive.

People either fight the way things are or embrace it. Personally I feel fighting results in the Frank Grimes scenario;





It's a realisation that has helped this past year as I've ventured into a new career and am solely reliant on the help of coworkers for me to learn the job. Playing along with the dynamic and stirring the pot ensures I get the help I need and no ones going to put in a bad word etc. For me, if you want work satisfaction; it has to be from your own enterprise.
(This post was last modified: 11-29-2019 07:50 AM by mr-ed209.)
11-29-2019 07:49 AM
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Rush87 Offline
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RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
^ Agreed. The busy worker bee mentality only wastes your time, and leaves you jaded the second you realise that effort has gone unnoticed. If you choose to work for a company, network and invest your time wisely.

Well thought out interactions will lead to promotions at a far higher rate than 'extra hours' that ultimately devalue labor. It's the migrant mentality which leads to a fucked up work life balance, as you wind creating a 'race to the bottom'. Work longer hours for less.Ultimately you need to start your own business.
(This post was last modified: 11-29-2019 09:36 AM by Rush87.)
11-29-2019 09:29 AM
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Leonard D Neubache Offline
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Post: #7
RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
My biggest insight from 2019 undoubtedly is that demonic influence is real as is the power of Christ to repel it.

The acceptance of His protection has halved my disquiet at very least, and I continue to make gains as time goes on.

God demands of Man responsibility. God demands of Woman vulnerability. These are their curse and blessing alike. Libertianism is to Man as Feminism is to Woman.
11-29-2019 10:48 AM
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Aurini Offline
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Post: #8
RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
That infighting on the dissident right is its inevitable doom.

Maybe it's the structure of social media, that preferences gauche opinions over mature argument; maybe it's the immaturity of the population writ large (when you have a demographic trend in this direction, even the 'mature' within the demographic are less mature than they would have been); maybe it's the audiences, who feed and support drama over organization. But whatever it is, any time a movement get going, it's going to fracture into infighting camps hell-bent on destroying one another, rather than protecting something for our posterity.

The only winning move is not to play.

My website.
Now streaming on the DLive platform..
11-29-2019 02:21 PM
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Syberpunk Offline
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RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
The population of the world went from 1 to 7 billion and yet in spite of this we've never been more isolated from real hearty connection.
The world never had more than 1 billion until 1900.
(This post was last modified: 11-29-2019 03:49 PM by Syberpunk.)
11-29-2019 03:44 PM
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RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
(11-29-2019 06:56 AM)gework Wrote:  Relationships (friends): The value of friends who are more honest than general and aren't trying to use you as some prop for how they see themselves is incredibly valuable. You'll hear and see very little in society that suggests the value of this, yet it's something the post-wall and general city dweller come to crave. If you have it regularly remind yourself. I realised that if I lost this then I would be very alone in the world and would probably end up trying to fill it with the tat people in cities fill their lives with.

Wise post. To add to this, you may have a friend/family member who's telling you about skimping on a diet, commitment or venture, slacking off on whatever they were gung ho about weeks/months prior, and they laugh about it like chuckleheads, essentially you're supposed to go along with this, they want to be told "its ok", they want reassurance, I cringe when there seems there is undertone of me being expected to give tacit approval that they're being lazy. It kills my own drive having to listen, "why are you telling me this, how can I do only what you can only do for you". I just want stand there like expressionless a stone and give them nothing. They're doing nothing but creating voluntary hardship for themselves.

These little "treats" set the trajectory of our lives. It's not a "treat" if its everyday as you try to lose weight, if you keep saying "to hell with it", you will end up in hell itself

I often wonder what if would happen I would say bluntly "C'mon that's not good and you know it".

Or this:



11-29-2019 04:05 PM
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vuko225 Offline
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RE: What are your biggest insights from 2019?
(11-29-2019 04:05 PM)Syberpunk Wrote:  
(11-29-2019 06:56 AM)gework Wrote:  Relationships (friends): The value of friends who are more honest than general and aren't trying to use you as some prop for how they see themselves is incredibly valuable. You'll hear and see very little in society that suggests the value of this, yet it's something the post-wall and general city dweller come to crave. If you have it regularly remind yourself. I realised that if I lost this then I would be very alone in the world and would probably end up trying to fill it with the tat people in cities fill their lives with.

Wise post. To add to this, you may have a friend/family member who's telling you about skimping on a diet, commitment or venture, slacking off on whatever they were gung ho about weeks/months prior, and they laugh about it like chuckleheads, essentially you're supposed to go along with this, they want to be told "its ok", they want reassurance, I cringe when there seems there is undertone of me being expected to give tacit approval that they're being lazy. It kills my own drive having to listen, "why are you telling me this, how can I do only what you can only do for you". I just want stand there like expressionless a stone and give them nothing. They're doing nothing but creating voluntary hardship for themselves.

These little "treats" set the trajectory of our lives. It's not a "treat" if its everyday as you try to lose weight, if you keep saying "to hell with it", you will end up in hell itself

I often wonder what if would happen I would say bluntly "C'mon that's not good and you know it".

Or this:




Great post and great threat overall. This speaks to me as I've recently come across exactly the same situation. As I've stabilized ( and I believe grown) on my strenghts and changed few critical things I had to change going forward, I've realized that there are some people who were/are close to you and who you generally like that just dont belong for the ride due to the reasons OP mentioned. Now, it is your " responsibility " to try to lift others up (closest to you) by sharing your newfound wisdom, value, business idea or whatever but you will quickly learn that vast majority are just not meant to be and in some cases need to be left behind. No bridges need to be burned but as you grow and continue to strive to be better you will inevitebly realize ( the sooner the better) that most people are fine with being average or below average and you need to either let them go or just downgrade them and focus on your goals in order to be the best person you can for you and for people around you.

Sourrounding yourself with the right people, affirming your goals, values, worldview and sticking to them despite potentially daily challenges to them is absolutely critical and ironically lets you calm down as external factors aren't that important to you amymore. Now, you should always be willing to learn new things and/or make minor changes ( life is abour striving,improving and learning) without being defensive but for the most part try to be the leader nor a follower. It will make your life much easier.

This also helps with relationships, to make the long story short - majority of quality women directly or indirectly want a leader who is assured of themselves and where they are going. This will also make it much easier for you to not be stuck with a woman that's not right for you or even let go of women for a short of longer period of time.

Don't be affraid to put on hold some of the " fun stuff " in order make that jump you may need in whatever area you are targeting. As D. Ramsey says " 'If you will live like no one else, later you can live like no one else " and most importantly - know why you are doing it.
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